1. Stella
ONE
stella
The rhythmic thump-thump-thump of tires against pavement, growing louder as the seconds ticked on, pulled me from my thoughts. I had been driving for what felt like days, the monotonous hum of the engine and the blurring landscape outside my window inducing a hypnotic state.
I blinked the sleepy haze from my eyes as I chanced a quick glance in the rear-view mirror at the little girl peacefully snoring in her car seat. With the softest of movements, her eyelashes brushed against her chubby cheeks, a picture of sweet and innocent youth.
I let loose the stagnant breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. We were free. We were safe.
A glance at the dashboard clock showed it was well past midnight, making me wince. I’d been driving for over fifteen hours, only stopping when absolutely necessary. We had to get as far away from our past as I could manage. I wasn’t taking any chances.
Lifting my eyes back to the road, I saw the neon sign of a motel ahead. We weren’t close enough to any semblance of civilization to get picky with our accommodations. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how much longer we’d have to keep driving or when we would come across another place to sleep.
The state of the lodging left much to be desired, with peeling paint on the building serving as a clear visual indicator of its poor condition, and the desolate emptiness of the parking lot further highlighting its unappealing nature.
It didn’t look Bate’s Motel sketchy, but it most definitely had a high chance of bed bugs.
At this point, I didn’t have much of a choice.
I pulled into the parking lot of the dingy motel and cut the engine.
Bracing my palms on the steering wheel. I dropped my head between my shoulders in resignation.
With a tense back, a throbbing head, and a gnawing anxiety, I wondered how much longer our drive would last before the persistent unease finally subsided.
I felt the lump in my throat tighten and I lifted my head to the roof of the car to blink back the tears from falling.
I’d held it together this long, I could keep holding it together - I had to.
That sleeping little girl in the back seat relied on me to keep it together. She relied on me to keep her safe. We had nothing left except each other, this car, and the will to make a better life for ourselves.
I took some fortifying breaths, counting to ten to calm my racing heart. Once I felt the tightness of perpetual anxiety begin to fade, I took one last deep breath and unbuckled my seatbelt. Stepping out of the car, I rounded the hood to the passenger side.
As quietly as I could, I pulled open the rear passenger door and started unbuckling my sleeping baby from her car seat clips.
Charlie stirred; her eyelashes fluttered open, revealing her large brown eyes that met mine with a sleepy curiosity.
Her smile was instantaneous, causing a flutter of warmth to flow through my chest.
“Well, good morning sunshine,” I cooed.
She made grabby hands at me, her eyes wide with expectation, insisting I pick her up. I slipped her arms from their straps and tenderly lifted her from the car seat, cradling her against my chest, soaking in the snuggles I knew wouldn’t last forever.
“Did you have a good nap?”
Her response was a nonsensical string of baby babble that sounded far too animated for the current time and situation. Shifting her weight onto my hip, I pressed a tender kiss to her head as I grabbed our go bag of essentials.
A heavy sigh puffed past my lips as I tucked my phone in my pocket and hoisted the diaper bag over my shoulder. An hour into our drive, I had turned off my cell signal and didn’t plan to turn it back on anytime soon.
I was terrified that if I switched it back on, that signal from my phone would lead them straight to us, so I kept it off.
I wasn’t sure if that’s how they worked, but I wasn’t chancing anything.
The absence of waiting messages about my whereabouts hit home.
A profound sense of isolation settled over me; we were truly alone. No one was wondering where we were.
I brushed the hair off of Charlie’s forehead and gave her another quick peck right above her eyebrow.
The heavy thud of the car door couldn’t muffle the ache in my chest, a dull reminder of the painful truth I couldn’t face. It was just the two of us. We could do this; it may feel like everything was going to shit, but I’d figure it out. I had to figure our new life out…and fast.