15. Stella
FIFTEEN
stella
Tonight was our date, and Max had insisted I be ready at precisely eight o’clock. I had no clue why, but the nerves that floated around in my belly had gotten stronger with each minute that ticked by.
I’d spent all week stressing about what to wear, what we were going to do, should I eat or not eat, should I kiss him, would we have sex, and so many more imaginary scenarios.
I’m sure by the end of the week, Ray was happy to be rid of my questions and planning.
She’d helped me pick out an outfit that comprised skinny jeans, a black lacy camisole, and a light grey cardigan.
I chose an outfit that highlighted my favorite body parts, accentuating my post-baby curves and the shape of my ass.
Max had told me to dress casually. He mentioned that we weren’t going out anywhere fancy, but to make sure I wore tennis shoes. I’d settled for a pair of broken-in Chuck Taylors to tie together the ‘lived in chic’ vibe I was giving off.
It had been nearly a decade since I had gone on a date, and to be honest, I didn’t believe I had ever experienced a truly traditional or proper date in my life.
Dean’s idea of a first date was to take me bowling down at the local lanes and attempt to feel me up behind the building next to a dumpster.
I obviously had low standards, but Max had been hyping this date up all week and I could tell that he was excited.
He exuded an air of confidence about his plans, any hint of nervousness undetectable.
His disinterest toward long-term commitment, a direct result of his past relationship, made me curious about who he was before that pain had reshaped him. He clearly knew how to woo a woman.
Had he been a playboy?
How many women had he been intimate with?
Was he going to expect me to have sex with him?
My mind was spinning as a gentle knock rapped on the door. Another one of Max’s insistences. He wanted to do things properly, so he picked me up at the front door, as if he didn’t live there. It made my heart flutter that he went to such lengths to make this night special.
Angie had gotten here over an hour ago and was in the process of putting Charlie down for bed, so I was grateful that Max had opted to knock instead of ring the doorbell.
I inhaled deeply, steeling myself, then turned the knob, the door creaking open to reveal the most handsome man I’d ever seen, presenting a dazzling bouquet of wildflowers.
The flowers looked handpicked, and if I wasn’t already falling for Max, I would have been melting to the floor in a puddle at his thoughtfulness.
“Wow…” He remarked breathlessly as he scrubbed a hand over his mouth in what I can only assume was sheer awe.
Max’s gaze made me feel beautiful, a warmth spreading through me like sunshine. It was as if he was seeing me clearly for the first time, and he let every emotion show in his expressions as he openly perused my appearance.
“Stella, you look stunning,” he added when he finally picked his jaw up off the floor.
Blushing, a nervous chuckle tumbled from my lips as I smoothed down my tank top. Its “French tuck” (as Ray so cleverly put it) suddenly feeling far too deliberate, the fabric clinging uncomfortably to my skin.
I brushed a stray curl behind my ear; the strands tickling my skin, and refused to raise my eyes from the floor, terrified that the illusion of a man finding me stunning would vanish if I dared to meet his gaze.
I felt the heat of Max’s body before his shoes came into view. As always, his fingers gently lifted my chin, his eyes boring into mine.
I loved how he didn’t let me shy away from a compliment.
He wanted me to see that he saw me—not just as a mother, but as a beautiful woman, someone he desired.
It was going to take a while for the overwhelming trauma of being constantly berated and belittled to fade, but it seemed as if Max was steadfast in his intent to breathe new life into my self-confidence.
“I mean it, you look amazing,” he said, his eyes sparkling with admiration as he grazed a calloused thumb across my jaw line.
I fought the urge to lean into his caress and close my eyes. The heat of his touch left a trail across my skin and my body vibrated with the electricity of lust. I took the chance to look him directly in the eyes to showcase the sincerity of my words.
“Thank you,” I whispered. A thick tension hung heavy in the air, charged with unspoken desires, as our bodies fought the magnetic pull to come together.
A loud throat clearing echoed from the hallway, shattering the intense moment, the unexpected sound causing us to break apart in a rush.
“Hey, Max.” Angie said in greeting, awkwardly holding up a hand to wave.
“Hey, kiddo. Thanks again for agreeing to watch Charlie. I know you probably have better things to do on a Saturday night.”
“Nah, watching you two dance around like you’re both not attracted to each other is better than anything else I’d be doing tonight,” she joked with a laugh.
Modern teenagers were ruthless and I could see the blush creep over Max’s cheeks at the same time as mine. Not that we were dancing around our feelings, we were trying not to cross lines that couldn’t be uncrossed.
I felt the spark between us, but the reality of my life as a single mom—all the responsibilities and the potential pitfalls of dating—required careful consideration before I jumped in.
I ached to be with Max. The thought of diving into bed with him was so tempting, but the thought of my daughter, our shared living situation, and the risks to my own heart halted my desire.
“Cool,” Max said awkwardly as he put a hand on my lower back and pushed me towards the door. “We’ll just be heading out now. Call if you need anything.”
I giggled at his blatant embarrassment and stepped into the humid summer air. It may have been close to sunset, but the air still held that midday heat long into the night.
Max insisted the date location would be a little chilly, a stark contrast to the warm summer air, so I reluctantly agreed to bring a cardigan, even if it clashed with the sex appeal I was trying to exude.
I was nervous and excited all in the same breath as he walked me to the passenger side door of his truck. I fought the urge to argue with him about opening my door, pushing it down since this was our first date and he was just being gentlemanly.
He closed the door and rounded the hood, hopping into the driver’s seat with effortless grace. Before starting the truck, he leaned across the bench seat to grab the seat belt above my shoulder. Crossing it over the front of my body, he buckled it with deft fingers.
“Gotta keep you safe, Trouble.” he whispered in my ear as he made his retreat to his side of the cab.
Internally, I scolded myself for getting worked up over a man buckling me in as a thrum of want pulsed at the apex of my thighs. I was an independent woman, damnit, and I wouldn’t let my traitorous lady bits go all melty over a man doing things I could do myself.
I rolled my eyes at him, and he grinned at my sass. I’m sure he could tell that his insistence on invading my personal space flustered me. He seemed to get a perverse satisfaction from pushing my boundaries, a smirk playing on his lips.
Max rolled down the windows, and we sat in companionable silence on the short drive down to the ranch entrance.
We again didn’t feel the need to fill the air with mindless small talk.
Listening to the peaceful sounds of the ranch was enough for both of us.
It seemed to soothe the first date jitters enough for me to prod about our destination.
“So, do I get to know where we’re going on this ‘perfect’ date?” I asked, using air quotations around the word perfect in jest .
“It’s only about a five-minute drive from the ranch, but I promise you’ll love it.” He responded with a wink.
I scoffed and continued to look out the window at the fading sunset and incoming twilight. Before I knew it, we were pulling down an unmarked gravel road flanked by tall oak trees covered in Spanish moss. I quirked an eyebrow in Max’s direction and he chuckled.
“Don’t worry, I told you I wasn’t a serial killer, remember?” he joked.
I let loose a loud laugh at the fact that I hadn’t needed to say a word, and he knew exactly what I was thinking. Although the scenery was a little creepy, I didn’t feel unsafe. Knowing that Max was with me gave me all the confidence to know that nothing would harm me.
He pulled up to a small clearing and put the truck in park. I looked out the front window with that quirk still in my eyebrow. Nothing around us screamed ‘date’. There were no buildings, no other cars, and no lighting.
The surrounding forest was completely still, minus the idling of Max’s truck.
“Come on, Trouble,” he said after cutting the engine, unbuckling, and opening his door. I didn’t wait for him to come around and open mine as I unlatched the belt and hopped out of the passenger seat.
The sigh of frustration that came from Max’s lips as he reached for the door handle made me chuckle. I patted him on the chest as I walked into the glow of his still lit headlights and turned around with a grin.
“Gotta be quicker than that, cowboy,” I teased.
He chuckled while repeating my words in a mocking manner and opened the back door to his truck to grab something. When he shut the door, I noticed a wicker picnic basket, a thick quilt, and a lantern in his hands.
My heart fluttered with a mix of excitement and nerves as I pictured our date, a hazy image forming in my mind. He’d planned a picnic just for the two of us. I swooned internally at the thought he had put into this night. When Max put his mind to something, he sure went all out.
“Hop on,” he said, crouching down so that I could jump onto his back. He carefully set the wicker picnic basket down on the soft grass, motioning for me to climb up onto his muscular frame. I looked at him with slight fear in my eyes and he chuckled.
“You don’t think I can carry you?” He teased.
I huffed and put my hands on my hips while shaking my head in exasperation.
“It’s not that I don’t think you can carry me. It’s that you have other things in your hands and I’m afraid you might drop me.” I said with a slight air of trepidation.
He stood up and turned towards me, putting his hands on his hips, mocking my stance. He clearly was getting comfortable around me enough to know that he could joke around like this.
“Trouble, I throw around hay bales that weigh twice as much as you do. I’m pretty sure that I can carry you on my back for the fifty yards it’s going to take to get to where we’re going.”
I blushed at the insinuation that he could easily throw me around. A wave of acknowledgement at how it would feel to be manhandled by Max coursed all the way down my spine and settled between my thighs.
I shifted gently on my feet, and Max caught the movement. Even in the dim light, I could see his pupils dilate, dark and wide with an urgent need, his breath catching in his throat.
Clearing my throat and avoiding the incessant desire coursing through my veins, I conceded, “Fine, but if you drop me, it’s your funeral.”
I turned his shoulders away from me so I could gather the courage to hop on his back. I don’t remember the last time someone had given me a piggyback ride, probably grade school. It was juvenile, but the thought of Max carrying me to our date made me feel carefree.
As Max steadied himself in a crouched position, I grabbed hold of his shoulders and hoisted myself onto his back. My raging hormones registered every sensitive part of me pressed against the muscular planes of him, and I adjusted myself for a comfortable ride, minimizing bumps and grinds.
Slowly, and with the grace of a man wearing nothing heavier than a simple backpack, he leaned down and picked up the picnic items. He hefted the basket into the crook of one elbow and used the other to band around my thigh and keep me secured to him.
I laughed loudly at how silly this must look, and I was thankful there was no one around to see when I inevitably fell on this trek.
But, true to his word, Max carried me the fifty yards to our destination and set me gently on my feet. Looking around, I saw little of anything, but the air was cooler and I could hear the faint trickle of what sounded like a stream.
It had gotten remarkably darker as we’d ventured deeper into the woods, so Max lifted the lantern between us.
He reached out a hand in offering, and without hesitation, I placed my palm in his. His rough calluses rubbed against the softness of my fingers, but the warmth and prickle of electricity soothed the grit.
Holding the lantern in front of himself and guiding me forward, we reached a dense portion of the forest. Again, a wave of icy air washed over me, and an involuntary shiver ran down my spine.
Max pushed aside the leaves and branches, their surfaces cool and slick with dew, leading me into a clearing bathed in an almost unreal light.
Dense tree cover concealed a small stream, its banks lined with lush grass and interspersed tiny white wildflowers. My breath caught in my throat. I’d never seen a sight more beautiful. The air was humid but cool and it was quiet except for the soft trickle of water flowing through the small brook.
Without warning, Max cut the lantern, and I gasped, turning towards him in fear. His arms, warm and strong, encircled my waist as he leaned in, his breath ghosting across my ear.
“Shh…” He hissed, stroking his thumb across my hip bone. “Just wait.”
As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, tiny flickers of light blinked around us. Tiny yellow stars, each a pinpoint shine, winked in random spots and moments, their appearance sporadic and unpredictable. I felt Max’s smile as his lips grazed the shell of my ear.
“Welcome to Firefly Cove,” he whispered reverently.