Chapter Twenty-Five Firelight & Forever
Meri
The café was warmer than the street, the shift in temperature noticeable as soon as I stepped inside.
The bell over the door chimed once behind me, sharp for a second before settling into the background noise of conversation and the steady hiss of the espresso machine.
The smell of coffee was stronger near the counter, softer toward the back where people had settled in and stayed.
I paused just inside the doorway, taking in the room without moving right away.
A couple sat near the window, leaning toward each other over a shared plate.
Someone worked at a laptop in the corner, headphones in, posture fixed and focused.
There were two chairs available by the fireplace which was going.
Since I was cold and I could easily see the door from there, I chose to sit by the fire.
I set my bag down beside me and sat, waiting for Aryn to come.
Maybe I should have ordered something, I thought to myself. Yet I didn't know what he liked to drink. Perhaps I should have texted him.
The menu sat in a small holder near the edge of the table.
I picked it up and read through it without really needing to.
Different drink options, a few pastries were readily available.
I wasn’t hungry. If anything, my stomach was in knots.
I set the menu back down and let my gaze rest on the door instead.
When the bell chimed again, I looked up.
He stepped inside, brushing snow from his jacket before letting the door close behind him. He paused briefly, scanning the room, then his eyes found me. He had a cautious smile when his eyes found me.
He walked over without hesitation and stopped at the table.
“Hi," he said.
“Hi."
There was a brief pause. He looked so handsome, and for a moment I wondered what he saw in me.
“Can I sit?” he asked.
“Yes," I agreed, liking that he asked me instead of just assuming.
He pulled the chair out across from me and sat, his hands resting on his knees for a second before he pulled them back slightly, like he was deciding where they should go.
Was he nervous just like me? The thought was startling and comforting at the same time.
“Do you want anything?” he asked, nodding toward the counter.
“I don’t know. Maybe something to drink? A hot chocolate?” I suggested, more to have something to do with my hands. The sweater I was wearing already was frayed at the cuff and if I continued, I was going to start unwinding it.
“Hot chocolate it is," Aryn agreed. It didn’t take him long to purchase two takeout cups for us. He came back, sitting down and handing me mine.
“Thank you." I wrapped my cold hands around the cup.
“You’re welcome."
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
“I’m glad you came," he said.
“I am too." I glanced at him a moment before looking back down. He seemed sincere.
“Meri, I want you to know that my wanting to get to know you was real. The more I learn about you, the more I like you. I’m not asking you to ignore what happened.
I was wrong to not tell you right away about the bid we had in for the film rights.
That was my mistake and I promise I won't repeat it. I’m hopeful that we can work through this," Aryn told me.
“I called my publisher to confirm what you said about your offer," I slowly responded.
“That’s fair." Aryn nodded.
“They told me you withdrew it."
“I did."
“Why?” I wondered.
“Because you’re more important to me than any film," Aryn said simply.
I looked up at him, surprised.
“It’s true," Aryn quietly insisted. “Making Ember and Ink into a movie would have really helped my production company. It would have been an instant hit and solidified us as a contender in the film industry. But you are more important. I hurt you by having that pressure, that underlying motive in our relationship, so I removed it. I’m not going to ask about it again. I want you to know that I like you for you, not your books or what I think you can do for me or my production company. I just want to continue getting to know you, to be your friend, to be more than friends with you. So, I’m leaving it up to you to tell me if that’s something you want too. "
”Did you mean what you wrote in the letter?” I softly asked.
“Every word," Aryn answered.
“I’m not like regular people," I struggled to say, trying to find the words. “I’m autistic."
“I know." At my look of surprise, Aryn continued. “Topher’s sister is autistic. He picked up on it first. I’ve been doing some research, which is probably a bad thing because it might give me some preconceived notions. I would rather hear from you what affects you and how to help if you need it."
I swallowed, put my hot chocolate down, and automatically started working on the frayed end of my sleeve. “It’s not something that everyone deals with well."
Aryn reached out for my hand, then hesitated. “Meri, can I?”
I slowly nodded and he took hold of my hand in his, his fingers warm and strong.
“It’s a part of you. It makes you who you are. If you are okay with it, I want to know more because I want to know more about you," he told me. “I like you. All of you."
“I like you too," I admitted, enjoying the feel of him holding my hand.
For a moment, we were both silent, lost in the fragile newness of where we were. Aryn gave me a smile and I searched for something to say. “I joined the group you suggested."
“Do you like it? I’m hoping they can be helpful to you," Aryn mentioned.
“I like it. Everyone is really nice and I’ve already learned so much," I revealed, thankful he had given me the opportunity to meet people who were on the same path I was.
“I’m glad." He gave my hand a small squeeze.
“I made a friend," I admitted. I liked Sandy a lot and we had conversations even outside of the group.
“That doesn’t surprise me," Aryn told me.
“It does to me," I admitted with a shrug.
“I think there are people out there who would be more than happy to be friends with you on your terms. It just takes finding them," Aryn mused.
“Ben wants to be my friend. He wants to introduce me to his girlfriend." I looked at his hand in mine, his larger and warm.
“Ben is a good guy."
“He gave me your letter," I told him, looking up to see his reaction.
Aryn shook his head. “He’s also a meddler, but I’ll still put up with him, especially since it means we’re sitting here together."
That made me almost smile.
He glanced toward the window then, where the light had shifted slightly as the afternoon moved forward.
“They’ve got the lanterns set up again. It looks really pretty," Aryn murmured.
I followed his gaze.
“They have a trail in the local park with the lanterns," I mentioned.
“Do you want to walk?” he asked.
I considered it for a second before nodding. “Yes."
Picking up my hot chocolate, I left the café with Aryn. He didn’t let go of my hand as we walked. The air outside was colder than before, snow starting to fall in large flakes. The street was busier than the café, people moving in small groups, the glow of lanterns visible further down.
We walked side by side without speaking at first, the sound of footsteps on the sidewalk steady between us. When we reached the lanterns, the light softened the edges of everything. It was beautiful. The trees felt like a mystical forest even though we were right in town.
“I need things to be clear," I mentioned, breaking the silence. “I find it easier if we just say what we mean. I know that we’ve said that we like each other, but where does this go from here? Is there an us?”
“I want there to be an us. Would you want to spend time together?” he asked. “Not just like this. Go on dates, play D&D again. See where it goes."
He hesitated slightly, then added, more carefully, “Would you want to be my girlfriend?”
“Really?” I blinked in surprise. “You want me to be your girlfriend."
“Yes." A slow smile graced his face. Aryn turned so he stood in front of me. “I’m going to kiss you now, Meri Bennet."
“Okay," I whispered, smiling back at him.
We stayed where we were, the lantern light steady around us, hands still joined as he leaned down to press his lips to mine..