Chapter 10 #2
Because she’d always been there, like a safe shadow at his back. But in reality, she was the sun, her laughter always burning bright.
Together, they danced.
And as the room blurred around them, and he held her in his arms, he realized he’d missed it.
He’d wasted all the years, without Kinlear here. He’d simply stood on the edges of the room, brooding as he glared at the dancers... when he could have been out here.
Spinning Soraya in his arms.
If he dared, he’d have gone further and claimed her with his lips.
Nobody would ever have thought anything of it...but it hadn’t been right back then. He hadn’t known it when they were younger. Not as he did now, when it was already too late.
The song changed. They were about to dance again, before she paused, sucking in a breath.
And then she was crying again.
“What is it?” Arawn asked, stopping them on the edge of the crowd. He dug into his pocket, where Izill had told him to bring a handkerchief, should a lady have need of it. He wondered, not for the first time, how Izill was so wise.
He passed Soraya the handkerchief, waiting as she removed her mask and wiped her eyes.
“When did you become such a gentleman?” Soraya asked, with a heartless huff. And she looked so sad, so utterly broken...
That he reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder.
He swore a spark passed between them as he touched her skin.
“Why are you crying?” he asked, as gently as a warrior could.
“It’s...it’s him,” she said. “It’s always him, isn’t it?
He’s rarely present these days. He’s always disappearing, rushing off, then fading for days at a time as if he’s far too busy for me.
When he’s drinking, it’s like he’s alive inside, like the boy I fell in love with.
And when he’s not?” She gave a sad laugh.
“I feel like he only gives me a part of himself. Like the rest is buried...far beneath.”
“No, that’s not it,” Arawn shook his head, because it was always in him to come to his brother’s defense. “Kinlear is just...”
Gods, what could he say?
Kinlear is dying, Soraya, but that wasn’t an option, because he was forbidden to speak the truth of it to anyone.
Even to her. For some reason that was a line he wouldn’t pass.
It was Kinlear’s story to tell...though Arawn knew she deserved to hear it, and sooner than later.
If the tables were turned, he would have told her the second they were Matched.
So she could prepare. So she could be ready when the time came, and Kinlear was ripped away from her in an instant.
“He’s lying to me,” Soraya whispered. “I can feel it. He’s hiding something, Arawn.”
She stared at him like she trusted him.
Like she believed he would tell her if he knew...
And he couldn’t.
Arawn pursed his lips. Tell her! His mind screamed. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.
So instead, he asked, “Is there anything I can do to make it better...right now?”
“No,” she said, and sniffled. “He left.”
Arawn would never leave her here...especially dressed like this.
She’d transformed herself for Kinlear, even though she hated the thought of donning a fancy dress.
And though Arawn knew it was the illness, that Kinlear couldn’t have controlled when it would hit.
..he’d still left her alone on the dance floor.
And looking like a Sacred queen, no less.
“I could burn him with my magic,” Arawn said, leaning down to whisper in her ear, because the music was so loud, he knew she could barely hear his words. “I could set his favorite cloak on fire, or perhaps—”
“Arawn.” She laughed, and backed away.
But...she didn’t pull her gaze from him. And perhaps it was the music, or the glittering dress, or the way his face was still hidden behind his mask, enough that she couldn’t see the reddening of his cheeks. But he reached out...and wiped her tears away with his thumb.
And he swore she leaned into it. Just a bit.
Her skin was soft, and delicate, as if she were a dove...despite the way she’d slayed so many darksoul monsters beside him.
“Don’t waste your tears,” he said. “Not on him.”
“He’s my Matched,” she said. “He’s...”
“He’s not here tonight,” Arawn said suddenly.
He swallowed, surprised at his boldness.
“But...I am. And as First Rider, it is my duty to protect my Second. So...” he dared to take her hand.
To wrap it up inside of his, the way he’d once done in the woods, when she gave up her spot for him.
When she made a sacrifice because she knew the pressures of his father, his kingdom, his crown.
“Dance with me, Soraya. And I swear we won’t speak a single word about Kinlear, or the war, or the way you look so.
..” he sucked in a breath, daring. “...so beautiful in that dress, because I know you hate it. But you wore it for him, because that’s who you are.
You do things that hurt you for the people you love.
And I will be damned if we let your sacrifice go to waste. ”
She nodded.
“Don’t step on my toes,” he said, as if she were the one leading. And she laughed, and the sound echoed across the dance floor, and it was so sweet, he laughed, too.
Her tears were gone. A smile took their place, but it turned to a joyous, surprised yelp when Arawn suddenly spun her onto the dance floor. And he led her like a true Crown Prince.
They danced together until the next song. And the next, and the next after that.
They danced, and he held her in his arms, and for one night...for just one night...
He pretended she was his.
And when it was over, when he walked her back to her tower, and bid her a simple, friendly goodnight...
He carried the memory of her with him.
He carried it, even when, just a few days later...Kinlear got into an accident while training a fledgling. His illness took him under. It took him under so fast, and so sudden, that he nearly died this time because of it.
Soraya saw it all...the blood on his lips, the way he’d choked on it.
He’d hidden the worst of it from her for so long, it was only a matter of time before she discovered the real truth. And as the servants carried Kinlear’s lifeless body away, already marking him into a runic stasis...
It was Arawn who had to tell Soraya the truth of his brother’s illness. That it wasn’t just some silly cough he was born with, one that would fade with time, as the Masters always said.
Kinlear is dying, he had to tell her.
He had to look her in the eyes and break her with the truth.
He’s dying, and there is nothing that any Sacred, nor any pillar of their magic, can do to save him.