Chapter Ten
Jo
T he crackling of the fire and the cicadas vibrating in the trees behind us grow louder as the anticipation of what’s to come weighs on us all.
The stare down between Lochlan and Frank is more intense than the fire burning at the epicenter of this.
“She already knows, Frank. You can quit your games.”
My cheeks warm.
Why am I being brought into this?
“No games. We’re all sharing, thought you’d like a turn.” He doesn’t even bother with his usual greasy smirk.
“Take a walk,” Lochlan demands.
Hayes grips the arms of his chair beside me, and I curl further into my chair like it will protect me from whatever is about to happen.
Frank stands from his seat, tossing his drink into the fire, causing a burst of embers before choosing reason and stalking inside.
“I’ll make sure he goes to bed,” Seiver says, following him into the barn.
Lochlan and Hayes exchange a glance, but both visibly relax.
“Don’t worry about it, Jo. He’s drunk,” Curtis tells me softly, attempting to ease the tension in the air.
“And, we’re not drunk enough,” Rain quips, and the rest of them laugh.
Just like that, the bonfire resumes.
More than an hour of talking and staying clear of anything particularly serious goes by.
It’s chaotic and hilarious, and the most fun I’ve had in my entire life.
“Jo, why are you here?” Arizona asks me suddenly, drawing most of the attention to me.
One set of dark eyes that I can feel burning into the side of my face.
“What do you mean? I needed a job?”
“No, I mean, why are you here with us? And, not out on a date with your boyfriend?”
“I guess I would be if I had a boyfriend,” I giggle as he slumps in his seat further, both of us clearly feeling our alcohol content.
“I’ve got some friends back home if you’re looking. No criminal history. Let me know.” He raises his can to clink my nearly empty one.
My third nearly empty one.
“No, thanks. I’ve been set up enough for one lifetime.”
“What do you mean?” Jordy asks, tearing his eyes off of Arizona.
“My mother has arranged two engagements for me. Neither of which I consented to and had to bend over backwards to get out of.” His eyes go wide, and I throw my head back and laugh.
When my neck lolls to the side, my throat constricts.
Lochlan’s staring into the fire with such hatred that I’m concerned for the well-being of the crushed can in his hand.
I glance at Hayes beside me, and he’s looking at the fire with a smirk on his face.
Except his amusement fades as soon as Arizona directs his attention to him.
“Jensen, do you have a woman out there somewhere?”
“I do. ”
“Why the hell are you here, then?”
“Because she thinks I’m a ghost.”
Back to the cryptic riddles that I cannot interpret with a buzz.
“I think I need to go to bed,” I stand suddenly, not able to contain a yawn.
Three other people mimic me.
“I’ll walk her back,” Lochlan announces, standing from his chair.
Everyone else sits.
“I don’t need an escort.”
“Non-negotiable.”
We match pace all the way back to the big house in complete silence.
“See uneventful. You could have stayed down there with them,” I finally say as it’s time to split paths, except I wobble slightly on one of the paving stones.
He steps forward to steady me, but I correct my footing before he can.
“I was just testing you.”
He scoffs and shakes his head.
“What am I going to do with you?” He mumbles it to himself before walking up the porch steps.
“Go inside.”
“I’m going.”
“Lock your door,” he adds when I continue standing in my doorway, looking at him.
“Ayay, Cap’n.” I salute him as I shut my door, and barely catch him shaking his head at me.
Maybe I’m drunker than I thought.
I just need a snack.
My favorite thing in the world is a late-night treat.
Except that the basket of snacks I keep on my little counter is empty, other than a few sad granola bars.
And, my mini fridge only has cans of sparkling water.
My bare feet scamper across my path to Lochlan’s front door and I twist the knob hesitantly, tiptoeing to the kitchen once I’m inside.
I’ll be in and out quickly; he won’t even realize I’ve been here.
Freezer.
Freezer.
Freezer.
I stick my face into the icy air, then groan in disappointment.
“No ice cream in there,” he says from behind me, making me jump.
“How’d you know I was looking for ice cream?”
“Wild guess.” He’s leaning against the door frame, watching me as I shut away my hopes and dreams of a sweet treat.
He’s still in his same clothes from earlier, but he looks more casual now with no boots and his hair even more askew than normal.
He looks tired, but not like he had been about to go to sleep.
“Who only keeps frozen vegetables in their freezer?” I continue my mission to find something to cure my buzz, and he watches as I open and close various cabinets, inspecting the contents within.
“Someone who needs an ice pack on a semi-regular basis.”
“Why not buy ice packs?” I ask as I find his whiskey cabinet, sighing as I shut the door.
He only shrugs in response.
His crossed arms barely move as he lifts a hand to point above my head, and I follow the path to the cabinet above the fridge.
I don’t bother to confirm before pulling one of the kitchen chairs over and stepping onto the seat.
He watches on silently, letting me embark on my journey.
“Girl Scout cookies?” I ask in astonishment, pulling out one of the green boxes.
“And, Boy Scout popcorn. Marching band chocolate,” he adds.
“You didn’t strike me as a sweets guy.”
“I’m not. That’s my poison.” He points to the whiskey cabinet.
“But, I can’t walk past those damn booths without letting them rob me.”
“Aw, Lochlan Dane is a philanthropist.” He rolls his eyes as he comes over to steady the back of the chair as I transfer my loot to the countertop.
I plop down on the counter once I’m done and crack open the thin mints.
My knees nearly brush his knuckles where they grip the chair.
He seems very concerned that I’m going to fall off this counter and hurt myself, but I am absolutely not that intoxicated.
“Should I expect to be ransacked like this regularly?”
“Yes.” I bite into my cookie and sigh happily.
“But I’m celebrating because I had a big exam today and I aced it.”
“Of course, you did.”
“Are you calling me smart?”
“No.”
I finish my cookie slowly.
“You totally are. That is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”
He shakes his head in exasperation.
“Do me a favor, will ya?”
“Maybe.”
“Don’t drink with the guys unless I’m there.” He watches me lean my head against the side of the fridge, pondering his request.
“I’ll think about it.”
“What am I going to do with you?” He mutters again, except this time he’s close enough to hear that it’s not a rhetorical question.
I think he’s really trying to figure me out.
“How did you get this scar, Lochlan?” He’s close enough that I could reach out and touch it, but I don’t dare .
He looks at me for so long, contemplating his next words, but I don’t care.
I’m lost in the depths of his tortured eyes.
Without the permanent furrow in his brow, I can see how beautiful they are, but still so mysterious.
They leave me longing to find out every secret he keeps locked inside his hard head.
I want to listen to all his burdens.
Just as his lips part and I think he might give me a straight answer, the front door slams open and we both jump.
“LOCH! FIRE!” I don’t even know who screams the words or how I end up on the porch, but suddenly I’m standing atop the front steps watching an inferno engulf the old barn.
It’s ablaze, burning so hot that I have to shield my eyes from the light.
“Did you call 911?”
“They’re ten minutes out,” Hayes explains between bursts of talking into his handheld radio.
There are guys dragging hoses toward the burning structure and others moving anything that they can out of its wake.
“Why aren’t they spraying the fire?” I yell as I watch them hosing down the building next to the old barn.
“It’s too hot, all we can do is keep it from spreading.” Hayes doesn’t take his eyes off the scene as he answers my panicked question.
“Fuck! How did this happen?” Lochlan roars, stomping toward the chaos.
I start after him, being pulled by a magnet, when he whips around and stops me.
“Stay!” He yells, making me flinch.
Even with all of the commotion, he’s visibly distraught, noticing my body language.
He takes a step toward the fire but immediately backtracks to where I’m standing immobile.
He threads his giant hands into my hair on either side of my head and whispers into my ear, “Stay on the porch, please.”
And then he’s gone, running into the disaster zone while I stand motionless, wondering how this happened.
* * *
The smoke-filled air lingers, blocking all the early morning light.
No one got any sleep, and all the guys are covered in a fine layer of ash.
“The fire chief definitely thinks it’s arson,” Sheriff Malec explains with a vacant look in his eyes.
“We’ve seen something like this before.”
“Where was Frank?” Lochlan asks Seiver.
“He was in the bunkhouse all night.” Seiver shrugs.
“They’ll keep investigating,” Jackson explains.
“I’m putting all my effort into finding out who likes starting fires around here.”
Lochlan nods his head stiffly, clearly full of rage over this situation.
He turns and walks away, silently dispersing the rest of the group.
“Hey, give me a minute.” Jackson tugs on my elbow, pulling me to the side.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were staying here?”
“It’s a new development.” The Sheriff and I haven’t known each other very long, but his protective instincts have already umbrella’d over my life.
Even though our situation is atypical, I appreciate his concern.
We talk for a few minutes in hushed tones before I catch Lochlan’s glare from across the yard.
“I need to get some sleep, I’ll talk to you soon.” I hug him before walking away, but he calls after me.
“You’re sure about this, right?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” I confirm with a smile, heading back to the guesthouse as he leaves in his cruiser.
My hand turns the door knob when I’m ambushed from behind by Mr.
Grumpy.
“What the hell was that?”
“What?”
“If there’s some weird shit going on between you and the Sheriff then you need to leave it off my property.”
“Define weird?”
“Don’t start with me, Jo.”
“I’m a grown woman, and I don’t need to explain all the details of my life with you.”
“Like shit you don’t.”
We’re exhausted, the night took a toll on us, and neither of us can curb the escalation happening.
“What, Lochlan? What do you want from me? Should I go back to being scared to breathe in front of you, or are we past that? Because that was miserable.”
He scoffs.
“Miserable for you? You make me feel like I’m back in fucking prison!”
There’s a heavy beat of silence as I process his angry words.
I step back.
Then another step.
And, I slam my door right in his mean face.
God, what is wrong with me?
Why do I keep putting effort into people who don’t care about me?
Because I have no one, and the pain of that is worse than anything Lochlan could say to me.
No one cares about your problems, Jo.
My mother’s voice nags in my head and forces a sob out of my throat.
What is so terrible about me?
“Jo, open the door.” Lochlan’s voice penetrates my breakdown, but it only lets the tears in my eyes loose as I slump to the floor.
“ I’m sorry. Shit, Jo. I’m sorry.”
“Go away,” my voice cracks, and I cry harder.
I crawl to the tiny single stall shower and raise my hand high to crank the handle.
With my knees to my chest, I sit on the cold tile floor, fully clothed, and let the water beat down on me until the stench of smoke dissipates from my hair.
By the time I make it to my bed, I’m a shivering, exhausted shell of a person.