Chapter Fifteen
Lochlan
8 years ago…
The last chain link gate opens thunderously as I step through it with lead in my shoes.
Ten years.
It’s been ten years since I’ve been outside of these prison walls.
The trees look different, the air feels crisper when you’re breathing it in freely.
I’m afraid to take another step.
As if one wrong move will get me thrown back into the hell I just escaped.
All that I endured over the past decade was for nothing, and now my entire life is ahead of me, stained by my misfortune.
“Well, are you going to stand there gawking or are you going to give your old man a hug?” My grandfather’s voice is like wind chimes and the creaking of a rocking chair on a summer day.
Like home.
“Pops,” I barely breathe the name out before his arms are around me, and the tears fall.
I can’t make another sound as I dampen his T-shirt.
Ten long years without a hug from the man who means everything.
He should be standing here with my grandmother, but I’ll never get the chance to hug her again .
We lost her while I was in this damn prison and I missed everything.
I couldn’t comfort my sister or support the man who raised me.
I didn’t get to say goodbye to the woman who was more of a mother to me than my own mom.
But I’m free now.
I have the chance to repay my grandfather for so many debts, but most importantly, for how tirelessly he fought to set me free.
He drained his life’s savings to get lawyers and special litigators.
He hired private detectives and extra hands at the sanctuary to keep things running while he’s been focused on all his efforts for me.
“I’ve got to tell you, Loch,” he starts once we’re nearly home, back up the mountain where I was raised.
“This place probably isn’t how you remember. Some things have gone to the back burner while I’ve been… Preoccupied.”
“It shouldn’t have been like this, Pops.” I rub my hand across my head, the stubble scratching my palm.
I’ve kept it short since the first week I was locked up.
My size made a target, and one scuffle in the yard was all it took for me to eliminate any leverage they could get.
“Now, listen. Life can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. We don’t always get the easy route; that’s the way it is. You can’t keep focusing on the past. We’re moving forward the best we can. That’s all we can do.”
Keep moving forward.
How can I?
I lost everything in one day.
My freedom, my good name, and the woman I thought would marry, have a family with.
Years of my life are gone, and I’ll never get them back.
He pulls in through tall black gates that I’ve never seen before that connect to a perimeter fence on either side, lined with barbed wire along the top…
The entire property wasn’t fenced in before, only the bear enclosures.
The barn is in rougher shape than I remember; the sliding doors are propped up on the sides and not attached to the tracks, boards are missing, and there are holes in the side and the roof.
It looks ready to collapse.
The trucks parked in the grass with weeds growing up alongside them resemble a wasteland and not a farm.
There used to be a chicken coop and goat pens, but they’re empty.
There aren’t any animals that I can see.
“How are the bears?” I ask him as I survey the desolate property that once flourished.
“They’re alright. We only have four right now. I haven’t been able to travel to pick up any new rescues.”
“Why not?”
“The trailer’s busted. Can’t keep it aligned.”
“I have an idea for this place, Pops, but you have to trust me. It’s going to take some time and an open mind.”
“Son, I’ve got more faith in you than I’ve ever had in anyone, the Lord included. This place is yours, Loch. You do whatever you damn please and I’ll support ya the best I can.” He slaps my shoulder and walks toward the house that he and my grandmother shared for fifty years.
The house I grew up in.
I’m going to make this place something for him.
I’m going to keep it alive for him.
Even as the looming black gates shut behind me and I’m trapped in another cage.
* * *
Damn, JoAnna Montgomery.
I’ve lived my life hidden away from the real world for years.
I had accepted that I was destined to live in the shadows of society, avoiding glances or being recognized.
For eight years, any time I’ve had the itch for a little female company, I’ve made the conscious effort to travel far out of Rollins County to get away from anyone who might have an idea of who I am.
I don’t expect much, and I definitely don’t give a lot in return.
An easy pick-up in a seedy bar.
No names, no intimacy.
I prefer not to remember what their face looks like.
I’ve taught myself how to stare straight through a woman without forming any opinion about their looks or retaining any memory of them.
But…
Not tonight.
Every woman who looked in my direction was painfully disappointing.
Every smile that flashed my way was lacking.
No one compared to Jo.
It’s a ridiculous problem to have because I’ll never have a woman like Jo.
She’s too young.
Too innocent.
She’s the all-American sweetheart.
And, I’m the creature trapped behind the gates of Second Chance Sanctuary like all the other animals.
As I park my truck, failing in my mission for a little human connection, I feel more like a beast than ever.
I get out and stand in the moonlight, letting the weight of gravity crush me.
18 years ago, I never would have suspected my life would turn out this way, surrounded by people just as lost as me.
Or worse, at night when I’m only accompanied by silence.
At least, it’s usually silent.
Engines rev loudly as two trucks speed toward me from around the backside of what’s left of the old barn.
The flatbed comes barreling dangerously fast onto the gravel lot where I’m standing, blinding me with the headlights and blowing dust into my face before hitting one of the ruts in the dirt, and sending the truck airborne.
All four wheels crash down at once, making the shocks groan painfully loud as the truck lands.
Ryker falls out of the passenger seat to his hands and knees, kissing the ground with his forehead.
“Oh, sweet Jesus,” he cries.
“What the fuck is this?” I yell at him before storming over to see who is driving.
“Frank, you better have a damn good explanation.”
“We heard people messing with the fences, went to investigate. Was just coming to let you know we missed ‘em.”
Rain, Arizona, Jordy run up from the other truck, looking more concerned than I’d expect for Ryker’s well-being until the passenger seat tips forward. Curtis tumbles out of one of the side-facing jump seats, clutching his hand to his ribs.
“I’m sorry, boss.
I’m sorry.
We tried to get him to slow down.
” He stumbles to the side, and it’s as if I’ve stepped into a pressure chamber.
My senses go numb, aside from a high-pitched ringing in my ears.
Because I see her.
She’s clutching her head between her hands, hunkered down behind the driver’s seat.
She’s terrified .
I can’t hear Hayes and Seiver approach from the bunkhouse because a train whistle is splitting my eardrums from inside my head.