Chapter 20 #2
He doesn’t answer at first, wordlessly setting the camera down before looking at me. He doesn’t move to touch me, likely knowing I’m experiencing an emotional outburst and his touch will send me spiraling.
I need… I don’t know what I need, but I’m praying he does.
“I want you to be safe. More than that, I want the baby to be safe when I’m not here,” he answers, standing with his chest out and his heart on his sleeve.
Fuck.
My heart does a little tap dance.
He didn’t just do this for me—he did it for the baby.
“I’m not much of a grand gesture kind of guy,” he starts, still staying put, “but I am steady. I’ll be here on the hard days. I’ll fix the leak in your kitchen sink?—”
“You did that?”
He nods, smiling as I approach him.
“Should I suck it now or later?” I murmur before pressing a kiss to his lips.
“Let me be a good dad first, and then I’ll let you wrap your pretty lips around me.”
Bitch.
“Yes, Chef.”
Daniela was asleep when I got back from the dinner rush. I let myself into her apartment and checked on her before heading over to mine. It made more sense for me to get some work done, make myself something to eat, and watch TV at my place where I couldn’t accidentally wake her.
Now that I’m done, I hear a soft knock at my door. When I open it, she’s standing there, half-asleep, wrapped in a blanket. Without a word, she hugs me, and I let her in, backing us up while I hold her.
“You didn’t come home,” she mumbles, laying her head on my chest.
Home.
There’s always these little moments when Dani exposes herself to me, typically when she is fully relaxed, when her worry doesn’t have a vise grip on her brain.
“Come lie down,” I offer, leading her to my bedroom.
She takes my hand, and, when we enter, her eyes are fully open. She’s never been in here before, which is purely circumstantial. I’ve only ever slept in her bed because I want her to be as comfortable as possible.
There isn’t much in the way of décor, but the king bed and nightstand are enough for me. My closet is full of clothes and shoes, and while I keep it organized, I also wouldn’t notice if I didn’t. I don’t spend a lot of time here anymore.
“It doesn’t look like you,” she starts as she sits on my bed. “Not like the rest of the place does. Or Menagerie. I can see you everywhere else but here.”
“That’s because I don’t sleep here anymore,” I remind her, pressing a kiss to her forehead before helping her scoot back against the headboard. “This place doesn’t even feel like home anymore.”
She nods, thoughtful.
“Tell your brain to be quiet,” I whisper, getting into bed beside her.
Her grin is beautiful, and I bring her closer until she’s lying on my chest.
“I wonder what home will feel like for the baby,” she whispers, and I remain silent, hoping she’ll continue. “Home for me feels like my mom’s house. We moved there when I was around ten, but I can’t remember a happier place. All my happiest holidays were there.”
I think about our separate places, and what makes the most logical sense moving forward. Then I dive into the deep end.
I want to buy her a house where she can make those same kinds of memories with the baby. I mean, if I’m treating her like the woman carrying my baby, which, for all intents and purposes, is the case, I would be buying her a house.
She falls asleep quickly, but my mind is working on all the things I’d need to do to make her feel safe and comfortable and loved. I slip away, settling in front of my laptop to get the wheels in motion.
I’m compiling lists of houses I think she might like after emailing my accountant about the possibility of purchasing one.
While I don’t know much about what she’d want, I’m sure she wants to be closer to her mother. So, I keep my search in that area, trying to envision all three of us in each of these places. Are we white picket fence people? Far from it. But if she wants one, I’d build it with my bare hands.
There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for her. I haven’t known her long, but I don’t want to know life without her again.
So many things have changed. I don’t go to work solely based on passion anymore. I go because I know a baby is coming who I want to provide for. My goals have gotten larger, my ambition having taken flight in a way it never has.
With all these changes, marriage seems like the next step, but if I know Daniela, she’s going to need a way out to feel comfortable, a parachute and a soft landing so she doesn’t feel trapped.
The woman is used to her independence.
Maybe one day, that’ll change, but today, I know if I approached her with a ring and a house, she’d bolt. Too much, too fast, Q.
What Dani wants is far from what I would’ve guessed. She’s been alone all this time, and that’s worked for her. The best option I have is to add value to her life in a way she wouldn’t experience without me, to guide her to a happily ever after.
Shit, it’s like the blind leading the blind over here.
I shut down my laptop, prepared for a concerned call from my accountant in the morning, for my life to shift as my priorities do.
And when I see Dani asleep in my bed, I know all these changes are worth it.