Chapter 26
An entire twenty-five-minute drive and Amani hasn’t said a word. I steal a glance at her as we pull into Elm Community. Amani is still staring at passing traffic, her forehead pressed against the passenger side window.
My gut is never wrong. I don’t know what happened today. I had total confidence Dr. Michel was going to give us the good news. Instead, he delivered another negative pregnancy test.
And now Amani is out of embryos.
Once I’ve parked, I place my hand on her knee. “Amani?” I ask.
She looks over, giving me a half-hearted smile. “Stop worrying. I told you I’m fine.”
Throwing my head against the headrest, I grumble. “I’m not.”
That gets her attention. She whips her head around. “You’re upset?” Her eyes are wide and her lips pursed. “Because I did my best. But maybe that trip to Colorado was too much stress on my body. I wish I—”
“Oh, baby. No. Good grief. That’s what you’ve been silently thinking the whole drive? That I’m upset with you?”
She hangs her head and folds her hands. “I should pay you back. IVF was too expensive to have nothing to show for it.”
“Amani Rhodes, I don’t want to hear that come out of your mouth ever again. Okay? Look at me.”
When she doesn’t, I unbuckle and exit the driver’s seat, then open the passenger side door. I squat down, bracing myself with both of my hands on her thigh. She wore a short, pretty floral dress today even though it’s January in California. Her hair is curled, and her makeup is light but meticulously applied. She was fixing up for a big day that was supposed to come with good news.
“You did great. This process wasn’t easy on you, and you handled it like a champ. Can we at least be proud of that? I’m sorry it turned out like this. But IVF was the best investment I’ve ever made because it brought us closer together. It just kills me I can’t fix this for you.”
“You must be worried,” she says with a more genuine smile than before. “Because you’re saying all the right things.”
Squeezing her thigh, I stay squatting, ignoring the uncomfortable strain on my knees. “I wish you’d cry or something. The silence is worrying me more.”
She sighs, then puts her hands over mine. “You want the truth?”
I’m tempted to tell her to lie to me, but that seems like banter for a different day…a different story. “Of course I do.”
“I’m relieved,” she admits.
“You didn’t really want a baby?”
Her forehead crinkles and she tilts her head to the side, like she pities my misunderstanding. “No, I did. Really bad. But at least it’s over now. I’ve felt so stuck for a long time. Just waiting around, hoping. My life for the past year was simply killing time until I could take another pregnancy test. Now that it’s truly off the table, I can move on. No more false hope.”
Amani unbuckles and swings her legs around so her feet are on the ground. I stand, then help pull her to her feet, shutting the car door behind her. She weaves her fingers in mine and squeezes as we make our way to the stairs.
“Dr. Michel said it could be a little early, though.”
“Adam. They did a blood test. They can detect even the faintest trace of HCG. You know it. I know it. Dr. Michel knows it. I’m not pregnant.”
We pause outside the condo door as Amani searches for her keys. “You made another appointment next week. He said he’ll run another test,” I say.
“It’s just a discharge appointment, Adam.” She abandons the search for her keys. “If I’m leaving his care, he wants to make sure everything is in order. It’s a pelvic exam and a physical. That’s it. It’s time to move on from the baby thing, okay?” Rising to her tiptoes, she kisses my cheek and then pulls her keys out of her purse.
“Okay,” I mutter.
But it’s not okay. I’m not selfish enough to ask at the moment, but now that a baby is off the table, what happens to me and Amani? Will she stay? Will she go? The idea of a baby glued us together… Now what?
Once we’re through the door, Amani steps out of her shoes and throws her purse on the counter. That’s not strange in the slightest. It’s when she pulls her dress off, leaving it on the kitchen floor, and makes her way to the bedroom in her bra and thong that I’m left frozen in place and puzzled. She pauses at the bedroom door and looks over her shoulder. After pulling my eyes away from her bare ass, I study her playful expression.
“What’re you doing?” I ask.
“You coming?” she asks in return.
I follow her but stop in the doorway. Leaning against the frame, I watch as she hoists herself onto the bed. She’s sitting in the middle of the king-sized mattress, one knee hiked up, one leg lying flat. Her red hair is spilling down her back and shoulders, and my girl is looking sexy as sin. But this can’t be right. Surely she doesn’t want to have sex right now.
“You’re so damn beautiful,” I tell her. Ah, there it is. Her cheeks flush slightly. I love that. My sexy girl, who is bold and brave, but sweet and endearing at the same time.
“Thank you. So are you.” She winks.
“Hm, interesting,” I say with a small chuckle. “I can’t remember the last time someone called me beautiful.”
Her teasing smile is already lightening my mood. “Do you like it? I’m happy to say it more often.”
“Amani, seriously. What’re you doing?”
“Oh, just sitting here wondering how much longer you’re going to play hard to get.” Reaching around her back, she unhooks her bra and lets it fall into her lap. She moves her hair so her plump, round tits are on display, causing my mouth to water. She pinches her nipples, tugging gently on her piercings. “Does this help speed things along?”
I join her on the bed, but I don’t reach for her breasts. I tuck her hair behind her ear and watch her eyes. “Do you want to have sex right now because you’re sad and want a distraction?”
She presses her palm against my cheek. “No. Sure, I’m disappointed. But I want to feel close to you right now. Don’t overthink it. This is just me asking for what I want. I want to be touched, held, and feel loved right now. It’s as simple as that.”
Reaching around her, I throw the pillows onto the floor and guide her to a lying position on the mattress. “You’re very loved,” I say before I kiss her sweetly. She wraps her hand around my neck to keep me close, making it hard for me to balance all my weight on my one hand and knees. I’m forced to collapse to my side so I don’t crush her, and in a show of her limberness, she rolls with me.
Now I’m on my back and Amani is straddling me, her tits in my direct sightline. She moans when I grab them firmly, rolling her tender nipples between my thumb and forefinger. I wrap my hand around her back to brace her as I sit up. Yanking off my shirt takes a millisecond and then my mouth is on her nipple, my tongue flicking at her piercing.
She hisses, pulling backward out of my mouth. “Ow.”
“Shit, I’m sorry. You normally love that.” Concerned, I examine her wet nipple, making sure I didn’t accidentally rip her piercing.
“It normally feels great. It’s a little tender today.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. Here, lie down. Let me do that other thing you love.”
I climb off the bed for a moment to pull down my jeans and briefs, then I’m lying with my head between her legs. I tug her thong to the side and see her clit piercing is gone. “You took your piercing out?”
“Yeah, I figured I was going to have to take it out for…” She blows out a breath. “Never mind. I guess I can put it back in now.”
I drag my tongue from the bottom to the top of her crease, latching onto her clit and sucking hard. Her gasp sounds like a wail, and I can already taste her excitement on my tongue. In fact, before I can slip my finger into her, she’s clenching her thighs around my face, gripping my hair with one fist, and grinding her hips. After a small sigh of relief, she’s completely still outside of the hand that’s now stroking the top of my head.
“Did you come already?” I lift my head, smirking. “That took you less than twenty seconds.”
She winks at me. “Adam Montgomery, you’re that good.”
“Thank you for that,” I say with a light chuckle. “But normally you like me down there for at least ten minutes. You’re so sensitive today.”
Amani bridges her hips so I can pull off her thong. I use it like a slingshot and send it flying across the room, just so I can see her giggle again.
“Your turn,” she says, trying to flip over to put my cock in her mouth, but I hold her hips down, keeping her in place.
“This is all I want right now. Let me look at you.” I push her knees apart and position myself so I can rub my tip up and down against her swollen pussy.
She closes her eyes, mewling sweetly. She tolerates my teasing for another moment before she grabs my cock and guides me in. Fuck. She’s dripping for me—hot and so damn tight.
“Goddamn, baby. You feel so good,” I say as I slowly pump into her. “How’s that?”
But she can’t reply because she’s biting her lip and making that familiar face. This time, she shrieks as she comes, the sheets bunched tightly in her fists. I can feel her pulsing around me, her body twitching as she heaves in quick breaths.
“Seriously, baby? Again?”
Amani and I have a fantastic sex life, but usually neither of us is in a tremendous rush. Her smile is hazy as she sinks her head back into the mattress. “I’m so spent. I can’t come again, Adam. Please, just finish.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I tease. I bury into her for another minute before I empty inside of her, joining her in the high of relief. I fall to the side of her and pull her into my embrace. She feels like a little furnace, warming the side of my naked body.
“I might have to keep you forever,” she says. “That was so good. Better than ever before.”
I kiss the top of her head. “Glad to hear I’m keepable. Now what?”
She snuggles into me tighter. “Didn’t you say earlier you had to swing by LMC briefly this afternoon?”
“I did, but now I don’t.”
“Meeting got canceled?” she asks.
“Yeah. Just now, in my mind. I’m not leaving you today. End of story. Why don’t you get cleaned up and I’ll order an early dinner? We can watch a movie.”
She looks up at me, a mischievous smile on her face. “Can I pick?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think pregnancy rom-coms are a good idea tonight, Amani.”
“I agree. But Bridget Jones, one and two, are not baby related.”
“Ugh,” I groan. “Dammit.”
She jostles us both as she laughs. “Okay, I’ll compromise. How about you pick the movie, but I pick dinner?”
“What do you want for dinner?”
“In-N-Out cheeseburger, no onions, extra pickles, extra secret sauce. With a Cherry Coke and I want my own fries.”
I can’t help but laugh. She’s ordering like she’s the one who just did all the work in the sheets. “Okay, baby. In-N-Out for dinner, and we can watch Bridget Jones for the millionth time.”
She taps her fingers against my chest, then runs them up and down my abs. “I said I’d compromise. You can pick the movie.”
“I did,” I tell her. “I pick what makes my girl happy. It’s that simple.”
“Adam, you’re amazing. You treat me like a literal princess.”
“Because I love you,” I tell her. But the truth is, I’m terrified now that I can’t give Amani what she really wants…
She’s going to leave me behind.