Chapter 2
Reshma
A gentle breeze ruffled her hair as warm water rushed over her feet and ankles, and Reshma breathed a soft sigh of contentment.
Since coming out to Mombasa, walking along the shoreline had become one of her favourite parts of the day, imbuing her with a sense of peace which she’d felt had eluded her for some time.
In these moments, with just nature for company, she felt as though all was well with the world.
Perhaps she was deluding herself, but it beat the alternative of fixating on things she couldn’t change and had zero control over.
Like the fact that her marriage hadn’t turned out anything like she’d dreamt it would.
Or that rather than come out to Mombasa to her cousin’s wedding with her – and make a short holiday of it – her husband had chosen to stay behind in London and carry on working, much like he had for the entirety of their one-year marriage.
She huffed a sigh of frustration. So much for feeling content in the moment.
Inevitably, her thoughts always veered to the same territory and led to her going through a spectrum of emotions.
Well, she wasn’t going to let that happen today.
She’d do what she had set out to do before coming out for a walk and that was to focus on her latest work project.
She was working on a new website for a small band that were starting out and she was hopeful that if they were happy with her designs, they might well hire her to work on their new album cover too.
She’d love to have some variety in the kind of work she did as a freelance graphic designer.
She enjoyed the freedom of being able to set her own hours and location of work and being here in Mombasa, with her family, the beach and uninterrupted sunshine, she’d found that she’d been more productive than she’d expected.
She’d moved further along the beach, brainstorming different ideas and making brief notes on her phone when she heard a shriek which had her looking sharply to the left.
A man had his arms wrapped around a woman’s waist from behind as he swung her up and spun around in a circle. The woman shrieked again, but there was mirth in her tone, which had the sense of alarm Reshma had first felt dissipate as she smiled at the scene unfolding before her.
They were obviously together, given the familiarity between the couple and the affection with which he was looking at her.
Reshma felt a pang in the region of her heart at the sight.
What would it feel like to be looked at like that?
As though all his attention was solely for her.
To know with absolute certainty that you were wanted, cherished and loved by a person just by the way he looked at you. Touched you. Held you.
The pang in her chest made its presence felt anew.
Shaking her head at the futility of her thoughts, Reshma turned and started making her way back towards the villa, where she was staying.
There was absolutely no point in letting her thoughts wander down that particular road because there was nothing but potholes of misery and chicanes of disappointment lying in wait for her.
Because the truth of the matter was that if he had wanted to be here with her, he would have made the effort to be.
‘Reshma?’ She looked up to find her cousin, Saleema, a few metres ahead of her, panting slightly with her hands on her hips. She moved her arm in a come-on gesture. ‘Hurry up. We need to start getting ready and you promised me you’d help me with my hair.’
‘Yeah, come on. I was on my way back anyway.’ She linked arms with her and they both started walking as Reshma tried to banish the thoughts that had clouded her mind moments ago to focus on the present moment and making the most of being in Mombasa with her family for her cousin’s wedding.
‘Surprise!’
Reshma froze on the bottom step, grateful that the loud cheer hadn’t caused her to lose her footing in her high-heeled sandals.
She blinked a few times in … well, surprise , as she took in the sight in front of her, slowly cataloguing everyone’s bright smiley faces, her own face sporting both a frown and a smile.
It wasn’t a great expression, but that’s what confusion looked like on her.
It wasn’t her birthday and she was pretty sure there was no big achievement worth celebrating recently, so she had absolutely no idea why she was being surprised like this.
And then her eyes landed on him.
It was Zafar.
Her husband. The man she had left behind in London. Or rather, the man who had chosen to stay behind and work rather than spend a few weeks with her.
She blinked a few more times, unsure if she was seeing things or if he was really there. He was the last person she had expected to see that evening. Or at all during this trip, really. Hadn’t he made his feelings about coming with her crystal clear?
He lifted one eyebrow before a corner of his mouth slowly turned up, very much there . She wasn’t seeing things after all.
He looked as handsome as always, immaculately dressed in dark trousers and a light grey shirt, his jaw was clean-shaven and his hair was neatly styled in short layers.
His grin broadened a fraction as he tilted his head to the side ever so slightly and Reshma felt a spark of joy light inside her at the sight of him as her tummy did a little somersault.
Zafar was here. He’d actually come.
Those two thoughts circled in her mind a couple of times before coming to a standstill as she processed them fully.
Zafar was here?! Why?
The small spark of joy she’d felt seconds ago metamorphosised into uncertainty, slowly engulfing the joy she’d experienced until it was entirely gone.
She was sure the change in her reaction was visible on her face because she saw the shift in his expression before he turned and looked pointedly down at the person standing beside him.
Reshma moved her eyes that way too and was surprised anew when she saw his grandmother standing beside him, her face wreathed in smiles as she slowly lifted her arms and beckoned Reshma to come forward.
‘Daadi?’ This time, there was definitely joy in her reaction and she let it spill forth, ignoring her bewilderment momentarily as she stepped forward and hugged Daadi, inhaling her signature floral scent.
‘Hello, sweetheart. How did you like our first surprise?’
Reshma eased back and held onto Daadi’s hands as she took in her sweet face. ‘I’m over the moon to see you.’ Which she was, it was no lie. She couldn’t say exactly the same about her grandson, but she also couldn’t say as much to his grandmother.
When Reshma had spoken to Zafar about coming to Mombasa for Saleema’s wedding, he’d refused to even entertain the idea. He’d told her how important his work was and how he couldn’t afford to leave it and ‘go off to some destination wedding with her’.
She’d stewed on that for quite some time, going through various thoughts, and at the end of all that thinking – and a blinding headache because of it – she’d come to the conclusion that his refusal had bothered her and it wasn’t just about going to Saleema’s wedding.
It was more than that. So much more than that.
But the invitation to Saleema’s wedding had ended up becoming a catalyst for her.
It had sparked Reshma into thinking very carefully about Zafar, their marriage, her place in his life and his home and, most importantly she supposed, it had forced her to think about herself.
About who she was, where she was and where she wanted to be.
Of course, there were additional hows and whats that could be included and answered, but the point was that she’d had some choices and decisions to make.
Was she going to simply accept Zafar’s refusal and choose not to attend Saleema’s wedding in Mombasa or was she going to do something else?
Given the fact that she was standing in the front courtyard of a complex of villas her aunt and uncle had hired for their daughter’s wedding, in Mombasa, she had chosen to do something else.
What didn’t fit the narrative, however, was Zafar’s sudden appearance. It really was a surprise and then Reshma remembered Daadi’s words.
She glanced around her and behind Daadi. ‘You said first surprise. What’s the second?’
‘Surprise!’ Reshma turned to look behind her as the sound of her uncle Jawad’s voice boomed across the space, drowning out the voices of his immediate family who stood beside him. She wasn’t expecting them to arrive until the following week.
She beamed at them as she made her way towards them, hugging her two cousins and aunt before she was enveloped by the arms of her beloved uncle.
He squeezed her against himself and Reshma rested her head against his broad chest, heaving a sigh of contentment.
It didn’t matter how old she was, this was the one place where she felt most at peace.
They eased away from each other and he smiled down at her. ‘We managed to get early flights and brought Auntie Mumtaz and Zafar along with us to surprise you. Happy?’
Reshma looked at all the faces around her, their attention solely on her and her reaction. She jerked her head up and down in a nod and heard a collective ‘Aww’ from everyone. What could she have said anyway?
I’m happy to see you Uncle Jawad, the family, and Daadi. But Zafar?
It wasn’t that she didn’t want him there.
She did, very much so, that’s why she’d asked him to come in the first place, but after his blatant refusal to even consider the idea of coming here with her, she couldn’t understand what had prompted him to change his mind. She was truly baffled by this turnaround.
Her aunt Ruqayyah – her father’s sister and the bride’s mother – chose that moment to step forward.
‘It’s been so hard to keep this secret from you since yesterday, but worth it. Are you happy, my darling?’