Chapter 39
TJ
“Ihave so much I want to say to you. Both of you.” I indicate Tess’s parents, Sarah and Roy.
“We’re so happy to see you, TJ. You look good.” Sarah’s eyes glisten. “Are you taking care of yourself?”
“I’m trying to. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to show my face around here. It was selfish of me to stay away, and I—”
Roy holds up his hands. “It’s alright. We all grieve differently. We understand.”
Sarah tucks her hand into the crook of her husband’s elbow. “What matters is you’re here now.” She glances past me. “I was wondering if you brought anyone with you.”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.
” I pull in a deep breath. “For a long time, I didn’t think there would be anyone special after Tess, but I met someone recently who has made me feel …
” I pause, searching for the right words to describe Lucy while being cognizant of Tess’s parents’ feelings.
“She’s made me feel like loving might be worth it again …
even though the future is unknown and there’s always the risk of pain ahead. ”
Sarah sniffs, and Roy pats her hand. “I know that’s what Tess would have wanted. She loved life, and she would have wanted you to live yours to the fullest. That’s what we’re trying to do, too. Some days, it’s easier than others—” Sarah’s voice cracks. “But we owe it to her to try.”
I nod, my throat thick with emotion. “I won’t ever forget her. The woman I’m seeing helped me remember that I should honor Tess’s memory by being willing to love again.”
Roy glances at his wife and then smiles at me. “Sounds like she’s good for you.”
“She really is.” A weight of longing presses down on my shoulders. I wish Lucy could be here. I know why she can’t be, but man, it would be good to see her, to be near her, and soothe my aching heart with her presence.
“Oh my.” Sarah stands up straighter. “You did bring someone.”
My entire body freezes. It can’t be. Can it?
“Or I should say someones.” Sarah motions with her hand, waving forward whoever is behind me.
I turn to see Anton, Rose, Poe, and Del, along with a couple of my other teammates and their significant others.
Anton clasps me on the shoulder as Del wraps me in a bear hug, lifting me off the ground.
“What are you guys doing here?” I ask, once he sets me down.
“Lucy asked us to come before she left for California.” Poe straightens the collar on his tux. “You’re lucky I love you, man, because I still feel like an overdressed penguin in this thing.”
I splutter out a laugh and make introductions between my teammates and Tess’s parents.
The whole time, my mind and my heart are filled to the brim with memories of Tess and longing for Lucy.
I picture her standing in Poe’s living room, huddled up with the guys, while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She didn’t mention anything to me about inviting my teammates, but she was looking out for me even then.
She knew this would be a difficult day, and she did everything in her power to ease the burden of me having to bear it alone.
“Should we head inside?” Anton jars me from my thoughts.
Roy motions for us to lead the way. “We’re waiting on a few people, but we’ll see you all in there in a bit.”
I stop to hug Sarah one more time as the guys and their dates enter the ballroom where the benefit dinner is set to begin any minute. She squeezes me tight. “I’m so happy you’re here. I’m so happy for you. You found a good one.”
She releases me, and someone else joins her and Roy. I make a quick retreat, and it’s only when I’m halfway to my table that I start wondering how Sarah knows who I found. I didn’t once mention Lucy’s name.
I dismiss the question, assuming she was speaking generally. I take my seat at the table with Anton on my right and Poe on my left.
Rose leans across Anton’s place and smiles at me. “It’s really good you’re here, TJ. We’re proud of you.”
I smile back. “Having you all around for this makes it easier.”
“Tess sounds like she was quite the woman,” Poe says from my other side. He’s got the event program open to the bio they’ve included of Tess.
“She was.” Before I can say more, Sarah and Roy are onstage, giving their opening remarks.
“It’s humbling to have you all here with us tonight as we remember our Tess and join together to do some good in her honor.” Roy puts his arm around his wife, and the entire room applauds. “This year, we have a special guest who reached out to us after hearing Tess’s story.”
Sarah turns and holds out a hand. “Ladies and gentlemen, Lucy Dupree.”
My stomach bottoms out as Lucy joins Tess’s parents on stage.
She’s in an understated and unassuming long black gown, but my heart still stops as she walks forward in a pair of sky-high heels.
If I wasn’t so stunned, I would be out of my seat and making sure she made it across the stage without tripping.
Poe slaps my back and Anton leans over. “Surprise,” he whispers with a grin.
Without taking my eyes off Lucy, I say, “You knew about this?”
“Only since yesterday. Lucy texted Rose that she was coming.”
I shake my head slowly as Lucy makes it to where Roy and Sarah are standing. Roy leans forward and speaks into the mic again as Sarah hugs Lucy. “We’re bowled over to have Lucy Dupree here with us tonight, and even more in awe of her generosity. Lucy, if you’d like to say a few words.”
My eyes are locked on Lucy, and my heart is thundering in my chest as she steps forward. Her eyes scan the crowd, and I know the minute she spots me, because her shoulders sink ever so slightly and a small smile lifts the corners of her mouth.
“The honor of being here is all mine,” Lucy begins.
“I didn’t want to make a big deal out of this, but apparently when I get on stage these days, people are on the edge of their seats, wondering what I’ll say next.
” She gives a self-deprecating chuckle, and the entire audience titters.
“But this isn’t about me. It’s about Tess Stewart and the life she lived.
I was made aware of what an amazing person Tess was from a friend at the time, and he was inspired by Tess, and in return, I was inspired by him.
There’s something to be said for living each of our days to the fullest. Tess did that, and I want to be better about doing that, too. That’s why I’m here.
“For the past year, I’ve lived my life in hiding, tucked away because of what happened at the last stage I stood on.
I’m not proud of some of the things I said, but thinking about Tess and how none of us know when it’ll be our time made me realize that I don’t want to have regrets.
My past and the mistakes I made have formed me into who I am, which is a work in progress.
I don’t want to miss out on life and love because I’m too afraid to embrace it.
Even though I didn’t know her personally, I know Tess’s legacy is one of living life fully, freely, and for others.
Her heart lives on in all those who love her and in all of you in this room.
It is my honor to make a donation to the Tess Stewart Scholarship Fund. ”
Lucy steps back from the microphone as the audience claps. I’m halfway out of my chair, my body instinctively moving in her direction, when Sarah steps forward and lowers the mic so she can be heard.
“What Lucy is too humble to tell you is that she’s donating one hundred thousand dollars to Tess’s fund and matching the next fifty thousand dollars we raise tonight.”
The room gasps, and I do, too.
Lucy shakes her head, holding up her hands like she doesn’t want to make any of this about her. My heart is ready to explode as the room erupts in praise and applause.
I track Lucy as she hurries off the stage and down the stairs to the far side.
I have to weave through the tables, and I lose sight of her for a minute.
My entire body goes into panic mode. Where is she?
I need to find her, to hold her, to thank her.
Then I spot her, standing out of view of the rest of the audience.
She turns and our eyes meet, and she holds up a hand in a shy wave, a tentative smile on her face.
I’m to her in three long strides, and I wrap her in my arms, lifting her off the ground and holding her to me in a crushing hug.
“Thank you for being here,” I whisper into the soft skin of her neck.
“I’m sorry I didn’t have the courage to be here for you sooner,” she says quietly. “I shouldn’t have left for California knowing you had to face this. I should have told you I’d come with you from the start.”
I lean back so I can look at her. She brushes her hand over my forehead. She doesn’t lean in to kiss me. I can tell she’s doing it out of respect for Tess and her family, and it makes me love and respect her even more. I set her on her feet and press a kiss to her forehead.
“I didn’t expect you to come out of hiding for me.”
“I know you didn’t. But I meant what I said up there. I don’t want to live my life in the shadows. Not when doing so stops me from showing up for the people I care about.” She reaches for my hands and squeezes them. “I care about you, TJ. A lot.”
My eye catches on something silver and shiny hanging from her neck. I reach out to touch the discs with my initials on them. I flick my gaze to hers. Her cheeks turn pink.
“I … I was missing you, and I wanted a way to keep you close. Is it … too much?”
“Too much?” I say with disbelief. “Considering I was thinking of tattooing your name across my arm so everyone would know how gone for you I am, no, I don’t think you having my initials hanging around your neck is too much.”
Her blush deepens. “You’re going to get a tattoo for me?”
“I told you. I get tattoos for the things that matter the most to me. That’s you.”
Her eyes well with tears, and I pull her to me in another hug, relishing that she’s here and that I get to hold her. I don’t know what life has in store for us—none of us really do—but here and now, Lucy is by my side, and there’s no one else with whom I’d rather face whatever comes.