Chapter Twenty-Nine
Anna stood on the pavement of Watergate Street, looking in awe at her name splashed across the window of the gallery, interspersed with some of her images.
‘Wow!’ For a moment that was all she could say. She could feel the butterflies flitting around her stomach as though they were in overdrive.
‘Come on.’ Daniel placed his hand gently on the small of her back. ‘Let’s go in. I’m sure Charlotte has worked her magic.’
‘I’m sure she has.’ Anna regained her composure. ‘I wish she’d let me help with the display beforehand, though. It would stop me feeling so nervous.’
Daniel laughed. ‘That’s Charlotte for you. Complete control freak.’
The moment she stepped through the door, she was greeted by a tall, immaculate-looking man in a tailored black suit and crisp blue shirt. He held out a perfectly manicured hand.
‘Ms Wright, my name’s Andrew. I’m so pleased to meet you.’ She stalled at his name, thinking of her father, who hadn’t felt able to come to Chester. Briefly, once more, she wished she could have held this exhibition on her home turf. She remembered the glow she’d felt last time with her family’s praise embracing her. She shook her gloom off. She was here now and this was her big night.
She shook his hand, noticing how firm his grip was. ‘And I you.’ She smiled. ‘Thank you for allowing me to hold my exhibition here.’
‘The pleasure is all ours. Thank you for showcasing our beautiful city in such a stunning way. Let me show you around.’
Once again, even though she’d looked at every detail of every photograph so many times, now that they adorned the walls they were as fresh as though she’d never seen them before. Her heart was hammering so loudly she imagined everyone could hear it quite plainly.
Daniel had his arm around her as they slowly moved through the gallery. When they returned to the open space at the front, he whispered, ‘Congratulations, my love, you’ve done it again.’
She smiled then, relaxing for the first time that evening, and took a calming deep breath in and out. Whether tonight was a success or not, she’d done her best and she was more than pleased with that.
‘Thank you.’ She looked up at him, so glad that he was by her side, and knew she would never have had the confidence to do this without him. She owed him so much for pushing her forward and reassuring her at the same time.
Charlotte breezed through the door and embraced them, then stepped back. ‘Well, what do you think?’
‘You’ve outdone yourself, as usual,’ Daniel said.
‘Thank you, Charlotte,’ Anna added. ‘You’ve done a brilliant job. The photos look stunning.’
‘Not difficult, seeing as they’re so good to start with.’
‘Yes, but the way you’ve put them together, I never would have thought of it. Next time, please, will you at least show me how you do it?’
‘What, and let you in on my trade secrets?’ Charlotte laughed. ‘I’ll think about it.’
A waiter appeared with a tray of champagne glasses and they all reached for one. Anna sipped at hers, the nerves mounting once more as the door opened and people began to trickle in.
At first she stood back, watching in awe as people commented on her work. It was one thing for her to think she’d done a good job, but something entirely different to hear words of praise on other people’s lips. Gradually, Charlotte pushed her forward and she began to mingle with the guests, blushing with pride at the compliments she received, relieved that tonight was going to be a success, and that she had nothing to worry about.
As the gallery filled up, the heat rose, and Anna was beginning to feel stifled. She wished she could pop outside for a moment just to get some fresh air, but everyone was clamouring for her attention and it would be rude to ignore them.
A cackle of laughter drew her attention away from the conversation she was having with a rather dull man who was talking to her about the English Civil War, giving her an in-depth breakdown of the siege of Chester, which had lasted for sixteen months. As she turned towards the noise, she saw a gaggle of women enter the gallery, some of them unsteady on their feet, and her body went suddenly cold. Lucinda and her cronies. That was the last thing she needed, especially as they all looked worse for wear.
Daniel was by her side, looking stricken.
‘Daniel?’ she asked quietly. ‘What are they doing here?’
‘I might have known they’d show up,’ he said. ‘But I didn’t expect them to be drunk.’ He touched her arm. ‘I’m going to go over and see if I can get rid of them. I don’t want them to spoil tonight.’
Anna nodded, hoping they weren’t here to deliberately cause trouble. She excused herself from the dreary conversation and tried to conceal herself in the shadows. It was ridiculous for her to be hiding at her own exhibition, but these women were still pressing all the buttons on her inferiority complex. As Daniel strode towards Lucinda, the group broke up and began to wander around the gallery. Their voices were loud as they commented on the pictures and, in her hiding place, Anna couldn’t help but hear them.
‘I don’t know why she thinks she’s so special. I could snap these photos on my phone.’ Anna recognised that voice as Verity, the one who’d snubbed her at the charity ball.
‘Can’t understand what Daniel sees in her. Lucinda’s far better-looking,’ her partner in crime, Felicity, agreed.
‘Probably because she’s younger than him. He’s only doing this to bolster his ego.’
‘He’ll soon get bored. Especially now Lucinda’s back on the scene. They’re hardly ever apart these days.’
Unable to stand listening to the conversation, Anna stepped out of the shadows, startling the women.
Felicity gasped. ‘Oh. What are you doing, skulking around in the dark?’
Anna pinned a smile to her face. ‘Hello, ladies. Are you enjoying the exhibition?’
‘Um, yes,’ Verity said. ‘It’s very good.’
‘Oh, I don’t know, I’m sure you could take better pictures on your phones.’
They both stared at her, but neither of them seemed embarrassed. ‘Yes, well, Chester is a much-photographed city. There’s nothing new or special about these,’ Verity said.
‘Some people seem to think they are special. Judging by the number of red stickers on them. That means they’ve been sold, if you didn’t know.’
‘And that’s how you judge things, is it? On how much money you can get for them?’ Felicity asked.
‘I imagine most people around here base their judgements on money,’ Anna replied.
‘Or style.’ Verity sneered. ‘Not that you’d know anything about that.’
‘Is that style over substance?’ Anna asked. She didn’t know where this feisty version of herself had come from, but she liked it. She was sick of feeling inferior to these women. Women who were as fake as the Botox in their faces.
A waiter hovered and both the women reached out for further glasses of champagne, while Anna declined politely with a shake of her head.
‘Well, even if the photos aren’t to your taste, at least you can enjoy the free champagne.’ She made to move away from them, but the next comment stopped her in her tracks.
‘He’ll soon grow bored of you, you know,’ Verity said. ‘Especially when he has something much better on offer.’
‘Really? Well, that’s just your opinion.’
Verity smiled. ‘We’re all entitled to our opinions, but this is a fact. I don’t suppose you’d know, being in London for so much of time, but Daniel is spending a lot of time with Lucinda. It won’t be long before he has his family back together, which is all he’s ever wanted.’
Her words struck a nerve, even though Daniel had reassured her so many times that it was over between him and Lucinda.
‘What’s up, cat got your tongue? You must know it’s true. And where’s Daniel now, but talking to Lucinda at your exhibition. Doesn’t that tell you something?’
‘Not really. She’s the mother of his son, and he loves Ben very much. And why would I listen to the likes of you over Daniel himself? You’re not the kind of people I would either trust or respect.’
She watched as they registered her words, a look of fury on their faces. Then, as if in slow motion, Verity raised her arm and the contents of her full glass of champagne projected in an arc towards Anna, landing on her face in a cold splash. She gasped loudly in shock and the conversations closest to her died. A hush descended all around. Anna found herself unable to either move or speak she was so stunned. Then the gallery manager moved to her side.
‘I think it’s time you ladies left,’ he said, the emphasis on the word “ladies”, leaving no doubt what he thought of them.
‘With pleasure,’ Verity said. ‘And that’s what I think of your free champagne,’ she added before she was ushered off the premises.
Anna watched them leave in a daze as Daniel rushed over.
‘What the hell happened?’ he asked.
‘Your wife’s vile friends happened,’ Anna said, furious with him for being with Lucinda while she was having to defend their relationship. ‘Excuse me, I need to clean up.’
The staring faces parted as she rushed towards the toilets, keen to get away from the unwanted attention. She pushed the door open and breathed a sigh of relief that no one else was inside. What was it about exhibitions and her? First there was Mark, now this. It was almost as if she wasn’t allowed to enjoy the fruits of her hard work. And was it any wonder that she felt humiliated being here? She had no doubt that — although the woman was standing away from the action, looking as innocent as could be — this was all Lucinda’s work, stirring people up to act on her behalf. Anna splashed her face with cold water, patted it dry with some towels and then attempted to reapply her make-up with the little she carried in her bag. A bit of face powder and some lipstick were all she had. But it would have to do. She needed to get back out there and salvage what she could from what was left of the evening. The door opened and Charlotte walked in.
‘Are you okay?’
‘I’ll live,’ Anna said through gritted teeth. ‘Not as though there is any physical harm.’
‘It’s still classed as assault. You could call the police.’
‘And waste their time? I don’t think so. But do me a favour, Charlotte, and remind me to stick to subjects, in future, which have nothing to do with this city.’
‘Oh, Anna.’ Charlotte sighed. ‘Don’t let them win. They’re not worth it.’
‘No they’re not.’ But Anna felt drained. There was no fight left in her. And why should she have to fight for her relationship anyway? Why was Daniel letting Lucinda get away with this?
When she stepped back out into the gallery, there were only a few stragglers left, and thankfully Lucinda wasn’t among them.
‘Why don’t you get off home and I’ll finish things up here?’ Charlotte said.
Anna laughed but without any mirth in her voice. ‘Ever had the feeling of déjà vu?’
Charlotte smiled back. ‘Yes, this is becoming a bit of a habit. I wonder what the next exhibition has in store for us?’
Anna couldn’t think that far ahead. All she knew was that it wouldn’t be here.
‘But, despite that little hiccup,’ Charlotte continued, ‘tonight was a success. Most of your pictures have already been sold. Just remember that and don’t dwell on the rest.’
Daniel came towards them. ‘Are you okay?’
‘I’m fine, just a little sticky. Nothing that a shower won’t fix.’
‘I can’t believe she did that,’ he said.
Anna nodded. ‘It surprised me too. But I’m having to learn to put nothing past these women.’
‘What I don’t understand is why Verity did it.’ Daniel frowned.
‘I think that’s easy enough to work out. Someone put her up to it.’
‘What? You mean Lucinda?’
‘Of course I mean Lucinda.’
‘But she was with me.’
‘Of course she was. Playing little Miss Innocent, while commandeering your attention as usual.’
‘No, I really don’t think—’
‘No, Daniel, you don’t. That’s the problem.’ She paused. ‘Look, it’s been a long night and I’m tired. Can we just get a taxi home?’
‘Yes, of course.’
They sat in the taxi in an uncomfortable silence. She was furious that Daniel couldn’t see the game Lucinda was playing, but she was tired of it going round in her head.
‘I’m sorry tonight ended this way,’ Daniel said eventually. ‘The exhibition was a success, though. Everyone was blown away by the photos.’
‘Not everyone.’ Anna remembered Verity’s words.
‘Everyone who counts,’ he said.
‘They’re just photographs of a much-photographed city, that’s all,’ she said, quoting Verity. What good was taking them even doing? She’d wanted this kind of success all her life but, now she had it, it felt hollow. Perhaps it was the effect of the explosion, perhaps it was Eva, but she suddenly realised she wanted her photographs to do more, to make a change in some way, to make people see things differently. What use were pictures of buildings to the world?
‘I think you’re doing yourself down,’ Daniel said.
Anna sighed. She was too tired to make any sense of it tonight.
When they got home, Daniel tried to embrace her in the hallway, but she gently pushed him away.
‘I need a shower and then I’m going to bed.’
‘Anna, don’t leave things like this. We need to talk.’
‘Fine. But let me have a shower first.’
The pounding of the hot water over her body was comforting, but fear gnawed at her. She didn’t want this conversation with Daniel as she was afraid it would only go one way.
After her shower, she wrapped herself in a bathrobe and towelled her hair before heading back downstairs, her legs feeling like lead.
In the kitchen, Daniel handed her a cup of tea. ‘Here, drink this.’
‘Thanks.’
She wandered into the living room and slumped onto the sofa. Daniel sat next to her and took hold of her hand. She resisted the urge to snatch it back from him.
‘I’m really sorry about tonight,’ he said.
‘So am I. But we all know who’s behind this. Why would Verity want to have a go at me like that? I don’t even know her.’
‘She’s always been a pot stirrer and likes to be the centre of the drama. But Charlotte was right, you know. You could report it as an assault.’
‘And what good would that do? It would only stir up more trouble.’
‘I’ll have a word with Lucinda if you really think she’s behind this.’
‘No, I don’t want you to have a word with Lucinda.’
‘So what do you want me to do?’
‘I want you to stop running back to Lucinda all the time. You tell me it’s over between you, but your actions are telling me something completely different. And they’re telling everyone the same thing.’
‘But I’m not running back to her. I’m just trying to get through to her that we are together and she can’t keep behaving this way.’
‘But don’t you see that’s exactly what she wants? She’s finding ways to keep that connection between you, giving you reasons to speak to her. And you fall for it every time.’
‘We’ll always have a connection. We have Ben.’
‘Yes, I know that, and I’d never get in the way of that. But this isn’t about Ben. It’s about you and her, and the fact that I’m in the way now and she doesn’t like it. Don’t feed the flames, Daniel.’
He sighed. ‘I can see what you’re saying. But I just think she needs to get used to the idea. Give it—’
‘Don’t tell me to give it time. How can I, Daniel? What do you want me to do? Accept that, every time I go out here, I risk the chance of being publicly humiliated? Is that what you want for me?’
‘No, of course it isn’t. I just think that if we stick together they’ll get bored.’
‘Do you know what? Until tonight I thought that too.’ She turned to face him — all she could feel was sorrow. ‘After the exhibition I’d planned to tell you that I was going to help you with the school. I was going to put my own ambitions on hold, and spend more of my time up here with you and Ben. I’m sick of us being apart so much, and I thought that was the answer.’
His eyes lit up. ‘But it still can be. We can make it work, here together. It’s being apart from each other that’s killing this relationship.’
‘It’s part of it, yes. But me moving up here wouldn’t work.’
He frowned. ‘Why not?’
‘How can I make this place my home when all I’m met with is hostility? And why should I give up my life in London, my own career, my family and my friends, when you’re happy for me to be treated this way?’
‘I’m not happy about it. Not by any means, but it would be different if you were here.’
‘No, it wouldn’t,’ Anna said. ‘She’d just up the ante to drive me away.’
‘But we’d be together. I wouldn’t have to be on my own with her.’
‘You mean I’d be your guard dog, your protection. That you wouldn’t be able to do anything without me by your side?’ She shook her head. ‘No, Daniel, that would never work, and I’m not going to come here to be treated the way I was tonight.’
She got up from the sofa and kissed him lightly on the cheek. ‘It’s been a long day and I’m tired. I’m going to bed.’
When she was in bed, she listened for him coming up but was glad when she didn’t hear his footsteps. She longed for the oblivion of sleep, but she lay in bed, watching shadows through her tears as she cried silently. In the past she’d felt lost and alone, but she’d never felt as lonely as she did tonight. In the silence, she admitted to herself that this was the end. No matter what Daniel said about loving her, no matter how much she loved him, their relationship couldn’t survive while he was still a puppet at the end of Lucinda’s string. Daniel wasn’t about to make the break. It would have to be down to her.
She slept fitfully during the night, later finding that Daniel was sleeping next to her. She edged herself away from him when she realised he was there. She didn’t want to risk touching him or waking him, because if she did she knew she would want to make love to him and that would be her undoing.
She woke for the last time just as the light of dawn was streaking through the curtains. She got up as quietly as she could, tiptoeing around the bedroom as she collected her things before getting dressed in the bathroom. Downstairs she called for a taxi and took out the notepad she carried around in her bag. She paused before writing. How could she tell him that she was leaving and she wasn’t coming back? In the end she wrote it the simplest way she could.
I’m sorry, Daniel, although I love you, I can’t do this anymore. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me. I will always appreciate the chance you’ve given me. Give Ben a kiss goodbye. I’ll miss you both. Xx
She was waiting outside when the taxi arrived at the gates, glad that it didn’t have to draw up outside the house. Although Daniel was a heavy sleeper in the morning, she didn’t want to risk waking him. She didn’t think she’d have the willpower to walk away if he was there.
She said a breezy hello to the driver, but then was silent as he drove her to the station. Her throat was thick with unshed tears and she was glad he was the silent type. She didn’t think she’d be able to speak. Tears gathered behind her eyes but she refused to let them spill over. She would only allow herself to cry when she was behind the closed door of her childhood bedroom. Back to safety, back to where she belonged. As she boarded the train, she tried to ignore the ache in her stomach, the hollow feeling — the space that Daniel had left inside her.
She dozed on and off throughout the journey, relieved to be getting off the train at Euston. Back on familiar ground, she headed home. She put the key in the lock and listened as she opened the door. Thankfully all she could hear was silence — she was grateful that no one seemed to be there. She couldn’t face anyone right now. She tiptoed up to her bedroom, undressed and climbed into bed. She was so exhausted that she fell into a deep sleep, but even on the verge between wakefulness and sleep, she knew that the tears would come. They were just lying in wait.