Now #2
It’s as though I’m awakening after a long slumber. I feel alive all over, like he jump-started my entire body.
He thrusts into me with his hips, barely, but enough to have my inside fluttering at the threat. Or is it a promise?
“Jax …” I beg.
“Yes, princess?” he purrs in my ear, meeting my gaze in the mirror.
“I … I—”
I don’t want this. But every cell in me craves it.
And he must sense it, because his free hand slowly makes it way down, toward the spot that’s aching for his touch.
He was always so good with his fingers. From that first time in the crappy theater, when I let him touch me there.
He figured out exactly what I needed, slowly, patiently, giving me my first orgasm ever.
What took us half an hour the first time wouldn’t even require thirty seconds now. I’d shatter so fast on his fingers. But I can’t. I shouldn’t. No matter how good it’ll feel. No matter how desperately I need it.
“Jackson, please …” I beg again, hoping he can find the strength to let me go. The strength I should have to push him away.
But he’s a lost cause, as much as I am.
“I missed you,” he rasps in my ear. “I missed you so much, Evie …”
The moment he cups my sex with his broad palm and fingers, my knees buckle. My entire body jolts in his embrace, a small cry ripping out of me at the electrifying sensation.
This is insane. I can’t let him finger me in the ladies’ room of some overpriced restaurant. Even though I’m experiencing more pleasure than I have in years, I can’t let him do this. Anyone out there could hear us. There are so many people on the other side of that door.
Including Nathan.
The reminder acts like a merciless cold shower. The haze of lust Jax so effortlessly wove around me dissipates, and all I can see in the mirror is a shameless woman about to cheat on her fiancé. On the man she loves. The man she wants to marry.
“Jackson, stop,” I demand, my voice as weak as my apparent values.
I’m not sure if he hears me, but the finger between my legs draws an agonizingly precise circle exactly where I need it. A minute. Less than that. It’s all I’d need to come, to tremble and writhe with uncontrollable pleasure against him.
And I want it so much. I want to experience such heights again. But I can’t. I shouldn’t.
“Jax, I don’t want this,” I say, louder.
He lets me go almost immediately, taking a step back.
We stare at each other through the reflection, panting and overheated.
I don’t turn around. I can’t face him right now.
Instead, I stare at him in the mirror, bringing my hand to my lips, struggling to process the whiplash of what just happened.
What almost happened. His eyes are so dark with need that the color difference is almost impossible to see.
What have we done? What the heck was that? Why didn’t I fight him more?
He gathers himself before I do. “Now what?” he asks, his voice so low I can feel it vibrate all over me.
“Now nothing. Nothing happened.”
He cocks an eyebrow at me, disagreeing with my stance. “We were seconds away from fucking each other’s brains out, Evangeline.”
“We weren’t. We didn’t even kiss.” Again, my logic doesn’t seem to work for him. “I’m not a cheater.”
“How would that work, anyway? Cheating on your fiancé with your husband. You hear how that sounds?”
“You shouldn’t even be in here!” I hiss, suddenly mad at him.
He caused all this. He stepped into a room he had no business being in. He touched me, pressed his lips on me, drove me to lose myself with his hands …
I never wanted this. All I’ve ever wanted is for him to sign the papers. For him to leave me alone and give me back my freedom.
Overwhelmed and ashamed, I twist around and avoid looking at him. When I pass by on my way to the door, he firmly grabs my arm.
“Don’t marry him,” he repeats.
“You have no say in who I decide to marry, Jackson. No matter what’s convincing you otherwise. I’m not yours. I haven’t been for a long time.”
The iron grip slowly loosens, and as soon as I’m free, I rush to the door and unlatch it before throwing myself outside. The buzzing activity of the restaurant is like a harsh reality slap, and the fact that I almost had sex with my ex right there …
Though I want to stay a moment and gather myself, I don’t want to be here when Jackson exits the restroom. So, hoping I’m not as red as I feel, I return to our table with quick, precise steps.
“There you are,” Nathan welcomes me with a gentle smile. “I was about to send a search party after you.”
“Sorry, I decided to fix my makeup a little,” I lie.
“You missed a spot.” Carefully, he runs a delicate thumb in the outer corner of my eye where my mascara must have smudged during my interaction with Jackson.
“What do you say we eat fast and hit the road right after?” I suggest, doing my hardest to sound normal despite the emotional turmoil in my mind.
“No dessert?”
“No.”
“But you love dessert.”
“I know, but this place is too expensive. We can stop at the good bakery tomorrow and have a dessert buffet instead.”
“I guess that also works. Are you okay? This is going well, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is. Of course.” My smile doesn’t reach my eyes, even I can feel it, but I’m unsure if Nathan notices. Not with Jackson returning to the table.
The rest of the dinner is far more silent than before. I wasn’t talking much then, but Jax is barely saying a thing now. Nathan does his best to keep the conversation going, but when he doesn’t get more than monosyllabic answers from either of us, he gives up.
As I suggested, we decide to leave as soon as we’re done with the main course.
Jax doesn’t seem to want to linger either, and when the check comes, he doesn’t insist on paying for everything.
What happened in the bathroom must have been a wake-up call for him.
We’re over, and there’s nothing he can do to change that.
The weather has taken a turn while we were inside, and rain welcomes us as we step out. “I’ll go get the car, honey,” Nathan offers. “Jackson, do you mind keeping her company?”
“Sure.”
Once he has lifted the collar of his coat to protect his neck from the bad weather, my fiancé launches himself into his quest. I stand by Jackson’s side, stiff and uncomfortable.
Tonight didn’t go as I planned at all. I should never have agreed to this.
Next to me, I hear Jax light a cigarette, then comes the smoky scent of tobacco.