Chapter Twelve
Hayes
You just don’t have the privilege of knowing everything about me anymore.
As if I don’t already fucking know.
“I get it, Liv. I fucked everything up. I’m a horrible person, and you hate my guts.
I fucking get it. But, please, stop hiding things from me.
I am begging you.” I fall to my knees in front of her so she’s forced to look me in the eyes.
“I cannot do everything in my power to help you if I don’t know what the fuck is going on. ”
Her mouth twists down, and I think for a moment that I’ve upset her. I’d rather her be pissed at me than upset.
“My stalker left me another gift,” she admits, and her bottom lip trembles.
“What was it?” I ask softly, gravitating towards her as she leans closer to me.
“A horrifying, sad, dead animal and another note.”
“What did it say?” I grit out.
She squeezes her eyes shut, shaking her head. “It said ‘slut’ but it was written in blood.”
I’m going to kill him. Whoever this fucker is, he’s going to die. “It’s alright, I’ll take care of it.”
“I called Malec on my way here. I don’t know why I came.”
“Because you wanted to feel safe.” She looks at me like she wants to argue, but she doesn’t. “I’ll keep you safe.”
She relents, nodding her head and resting it against my shoulder. I don’t move, I hardly breathe as she takes the comfort she’s willing to tolerate.
We both know it isn’t enough, but her pride won’t allow more.
“Can I stay for a little while? Jackson said he’d get it cleaned up, but I don’t want to go home until it’s gone.”
“Of course, you can.”
She shifts back in her seat, breaking our contact and erecting the wall back in place. “You can go back to doing whatever you were doing. I’ll stay out of your way.”
I wasn’t doing anything overly important before she came, but if she wants normalcy, I’ll oblige.
* * *
12 years ago…
“Liv, I think you earned employee of the month.”
“Shut up,” she scoffs, hopping up on the only clear workbench in the shop. She comes every day after school to hang out with me. She does her homework while I work on cars.
Some days we work diligently in silence, and some days the conversation never ends.
She’s a couple of months into her senior year, and I’ve almost completed all the certifications I need to be a full-time mechanic here instead of an apprentice.
“How was your birthday dinner?”
“It was fine. My cake was terrible. Organic and all-natural sugar.” She makes a sour face, and I chuckle from my spot under the hood of a 1975 Ford Pickup.
“Just think, one more year until you’re legally an adult and don’t have to put up with the hippie mom recipes.”
“Yeah, I’ll be far away at college hopefully.”
If I didn’t know better, I’d think a wire stabbed me in the chest, but I know it’s just the thought of her leaving. She hasn’t picked a college yet, but I know she’s one foot out of the state already.
“Have you decided what you’ll major in?”
She sighs like she always does when this topic is broached. “I’m doing really well in AP Calc. Maybe I’ll do something with mathematics.”
“Do you enjoy it?”
“Well, no.”
“Pass.”
“Not everyone gets to do things they love for a living.”
“Not everyone, but you should.”
“Hmm. Business?”
“Do you want to be someone’s boss?”
“Maybe. I like bossing you around.”
“HA! That’s only because I let you. Not everyone will be as nice as me.” I give her a cheeky grin, and she throws her head back and laughs. I love it when she does that.
“I don’t know. I’d like to help people but…” She shrugs.
“You have time, don’t worry about it.”
“I could go into Social Work.”
“Why would you do that? The pay would be terrible.”
“I don’t know, I always had a nice social worker.”
It’s one of those things that she brought up once, and we don’t talk about. She was a newborn still when hippie-mom adopted her, although she swears she was less weird when she was a kid.
“So you want to be one?”
She shrugs. “I could help other families.”
“You don’t think that would mess with your head?”
“I guess it might. I’d probably have a hard time not checking all my sealed records.”
“You wouldn’t do that. You’re too goody goody.”
She flips me off, and I bark a laugh. “Calm down, dove, I wouldn’t want to be on your bad side.”
“That’s right, and don’t you forget it.” She smiles, and it pulls me from the truck.
“Any plans this weekend?”
“I have a study group on Saturday morning, but other than that, no.”
“A study group… On the weekend?”
“I’m not doing great in AP Chemistry.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. You have a B+ instead of an A?”
“No, I have an A, but it’s not about that.” She crosses her arms. “I need to score well on the AP exam.”
I raise my hands in surrender. “You’re right, sorry.”
“Besides, I have nothing better to do. Not like any boys have asked me on a date.”
I try not to flinch externally. “Have your eye on someone?”
“No, not particularly. But I’m starting to feel like a pariah since you aren’t there every day to talk to me between classes. I see the other girls talking to their boyfriends, and it would be nice if anyone noticed me at all.”
“They know you’re my girl, Liv. That’s why they don’t bother.” I wink at her, and she huffs.
“Don’t say that. People will get the wrong idea.”
“What? You don’t want people to think you’re mine?” I ask casually, though my chest has an anvil on it.
“Not when you go around giving every other girl you see a hickey from Hayes.”
“Oh my God. Not this again. It’s been a couple of girls. The nickname is unnecessary.”
“Still.” She shrugs.
“Sounds like you want a hickey from Hayes,” I taunt, slinking over to her.
“Shut up,” she laughs, pushing my face away when I teasingly lunge for her neck.
I laugh with her even though my mouth waters thinking about sinking into her soft skin. She’s a senior now, but she’s only 17…
She’s too young, and I’m just the knucklehead who will screw with her head.
“Love you, Liv,” I tell her unceremoniously because we say it to each other all the time. “Sorry, boys are idiots.”
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, love you, too.”
Even though I mean it more than each time before, I’ll never cross that line, because there will be no going back.
And, I won’t derail her life.
Not even when I would move mountains to have her in mine.