Chapter Twenty-One
Liv
His headlights sweep across my front windshield, and I brace myself to see him again. It should be easier, but it’s not.
The pit in my stomach is still begging for the void that he left to be filled.
“I brought a gas can, I’ll dump it in and then follow you to a gas station,” he says through my window as if nothing is amiss.
I climb out of my car for the first time because I haven’t felt safe enough to until now. “Thank you for coming to help me.”
“Anytime,” he responds, like he has nowhere better to be than right here. Saving me even when I’ve been pretty terrible to him lately.
He focuses on my car until the cap is screwed back on the empty gas can, and my gas tank lid is closed, but when his eyes finally meet mine, a breath escapes me.
He’s always been beautiful to me. When we were young, I was always too afraid to say it. He took my breath away. He still does, but now there is pain I see in his eyes every time he looks at me.
He’s been utterly broken.
Just like me.
I’m reaching for him before I have a chance to stop myself, wrapping my arms around his neck like I did so many times a lifetime ago. “Thank you for coming,” I utter more wholeheartedly as I hug him.
He’s only stunned for a moment, but I hear the empty gas can thud as it hits the ground, and both of his arms coil around my waist, pulling me in tighter like he always used to.
Holding me like only he could.
A hug that entangles two people, plastering their souls together into one place and time. Hurricane-force winds couldn’t tear us apart.
I missed this.
I’ve missed him and the closeness we shared. Two atoms fused into one.
I could stay like this forever, with the heat of his palms encasing my ribs.
I want–
“Care if we watch?” A man’s voice croons from the other side of my car, and someone else snorts a laugh.
Jensen’s comforting body turns to stone in an instant before he spins me behind him. He did it so quickly that I would have stumbled if not for his arm keeping me plastered to his back.
I’m tucked between him and his SUV as he stares down the unperturbed guests. One of them is leaning against my passenger window, the other is standing a few feet off to his side.
“We’ve got nothing for you,” he says easily, but his voice is deep with warning.
“We’ve been waiting for the pretty thing to get out of her fancy car and come pay her lot fee.” He chuckles to himself, spitting a toothpick out of his mouth onto the roof of my car.
“We were just leaving,” Jensen responds with a lot more patience than he had when we were teens. If I weren’t scared shitless right now, I’d commend him for his progress.
“Not til you pay.”
“Liv, get in my car.” His tone is low and controlled, blanketing me in security, but I can’t make my feet move. “Now,” he commands.
The guy leaning on my car huffs a laugh and leans back onto his feet, readying himself, but he only watches as I shadow Hayes and slink along the SUV.
As I climb inside the passenger seat, he taps the side coolly, signaling me to lock the doors, and I do immediately. Even though my window is up, I can hear them clearly.
“Take off,” Hayes warns again, but the calmness in his tone sends a chill down my spine.
“Hundred bucks,” the smaller guy lingering in the shadows pipes in with their apparent price.
Hayes laughs, and I do a double-take. He’s so nonchalant, but that’s not the Hayes that I know. “No cash, sorry.” He shrugs.
“We’ll see about that,” the main guy threatens, popping open a switchblade in his hand.
I want to call 911, but my phone is in my car, and I don’t know where Jensen’s phone is. He didn’t even flinch at seeing the knife.
He strolls out from between our cars into the open lot and just waits, summoning the guy forward with his uncaring.
It isn’t until the guy is within feet of him, slashing his knife in the air, that Hayes even uncrosses his arms.
He lunges, jabbing his blade towards his chest, but he’s too slow. Hayes’s hand shoots out, pinning the guy’s wrist in the air and snatching the knife away from him easily. “Get the fuck out of here,” he growls in his face, throwing his arm with enough force to knock the guy back a few steps.
“AHHH!” The guy lowers his head and barrels towards him like he might try to take him down, but Hayes is quicker, stepping to the side at the last second, forcing the guy to tumble onto the pavement.
Luckily, the sidekick is still hiding in the bushes as the big guy stands up sluggishly. Hayes looks at me through the windshield and blows an exaggerated breath out, shrugging at me with a premeditated apology.
Big guy takes one step towards him, and Jensen’s fist strikes the guy in the jaw, knocking him out cold.
I don’t have a chance to breathe before he turns on a dime, whipping the pocket knife out of his hand.
It lodges into the tree next to the sidekick.
A muffled noise of shock escapes my throat, and I clap my hands over my mouth. I watch with bug-eyes as Hayes drags the guy into the grass and pats his unconscious cheek, never taking his eyes off the other guy, who was never brave enough to join his partner.
He wipes his hands as he strolls casually to where I’m staring out the window. “All good now. Are you okay?”
I nod, but I’m not sure I’ve blinked.
“Drive my car to the gas station, I’ll drive yours.”
All I can do is nod again before shuffling over the middle console to the driver’s seat. I drive the two miles to the closest gas station in shock as my car’s headlights follow closely behind me.
Jensen is deadly. He always has been, but now he’s calculated. It should scare me, but the emotions I’m feeling don’t feel like fear.
It’s the warmth that blooms whenever I’m near him. The comfort that a man as violent as he is would do that to protect me without even breaking a sweat.
Because he cares.
He’s always cared.
* * *
11.5 years ago…
I know I should be disappointed that I didn’t go to my senior prom, but I keep reminding myself that high school is only a small part of all that I’ll accomplish in life. In ten years, it won’t matter that I didn’t have a date to prom.
I probably won’t even remember this night.
Even though I didn’t attend the dance, I decided to come to the school for the bonfire they hold afterward. The upperclassmen are invited, and the teachers are handing out hot chocolate and pizza or coordinating corn hole tournaments.
I’m standing off to the side, resting my arms on this wooden split-rail fence, and watching the flames dance. Keeping to myself as usual.
“They’re taking turns blasting each other in the faces with whipped cream pies over there if you want to join.” I turn to the voice as it comes towards me.
“Hi, Mr. Arkett. I mean, Landon.” He smiles when I use his first name, and it warms my cheeks.
“No interest in a cream pie?” He winks.
“Uh, no.” I laugh, awkwardly. “I’m not really cool enough to join in with their games.”
“You’re cooler than all of them, Livvy. Don’t let it bother you.” He leans against the fence next to me, and our arms nearly touch. I’m surprised, but we’re hidden away in the shadows outside the glow of the bonfire, and most people are focused elsewhere.
“It doesn’t bother me,” I utter. “I’m used to it.”
“Well, you’re my favorite, if that counts for anything.” He nudges my arm with his elbow and lets it linger there.
“Thank you.” The blush creeps down my neck, but the heat feels overbearing, and a little wrong. We haven’t done anything wrong, but the good pupil in me knows that we’re breaking unspoken rules.
It’s just nice to feel like someone likes me. Jensen’s rejection has worn me down. He’ll never love me like I love him, and I can’t stand his pity.
“Are you coming to the study group tomorrow morning?”
“Yeah, I planned to.”
“It’s at my house, if you didn’t know.”
“Oh, no, I didn’t. Did they double-book the library?”
“Yep. I offered to have it at my house since only a few kids show anyway. Besides, you’re the only one that matters.”
“That’s not true.” I tip my head down to hide my smile.
“I really like you, Livvy. You’re a good kid.” His words confuse me. Calling me a kid makes me think that I’m misreading our interaction, but then I feel his hand skirt down my spine.
I freeze as his palm rubs circles on my lower back. My body is tingling, and I don’t know if I want him to keep going or if I want to run away.
When his fingers tickle my bare skin under my shirt, my brain screams for him to stop. But the words don’t come out of my mouth. Stop. Stop. Stop.
I’m smarter than this. I should be able to save myself, but my body doesn’t move.
His finger tips skim the band of my bra, and my teeth clench.
I don’t like this. This is wrong.
Why can’t I move?
Why can’t I speak?
“What the fuck is this?”
His voice. I know exactly who that voice belongs to, and it breaks the spell I’m under.
I whip around. “Hayes, what are you doing here?”
“Me? I came here because I thought you might’ve been sad about missing prom,” he’s yelling at me, but his eyes are focused on Mr. Arkett. “Why the fuck are you touching her?”
“She was upset. I was only comforting her.” He puts his hands up, trying to convey innocence, and I can only look at him in shock.
I didn’t expect him to admit that he was behaving inappropriately, but hearing him sound like such a coward is jarring.
“It’s him, isn’t it?” Hayes accuses. “He’s why you’ve been so distant with me?”
“No. I mean… I don’t know, maybe.” I’ve always prided myself on being a smart girl… But that was the absolute wrong thing to say.
Mr. Arkett starts to back away, fleeing to the safety of the group when Hayes snaps. He lunges at him without warning and tackles him into the fence.
“No!” I scream, hearing the wind knocked out of my teacher, before he takes him to the ground.
That’s all it takes to garner attention from other students, and the swarm starts gravitating towards us.
Jensen’s punches are wild and erratic, hitting Mr. Arkett in the face over and over again until I realize he’s lost it completely. He’s crazed…
“Hayes! Stop!” I beg, screaming his name until my throat is raw. “STOP!”
He throws blow after blow, even after Mr. Arkett has long been out of it. It feels like the entire school is watching as teachers shout and run towards us.
My fingers tear at Jensen’s shirt, but it’s no use. He’s fueled with fury, and I’m nothing compared to him.
That’s when I see all the blood.
It’s everywhere, spraying out of Mr. Arkett’s face each time Hayes’s fist connects.
Raw flesh splits open, flooding his face in red.
My stomach lurches, and I fall to my knees in the grass. “Hayes, stop!” I beg again, barely able to get sound out.
Noah rushes over, pulling me further from the violence happening, but I fight him as he does, even though my body is weak and I’m near fainting from seeing the blood.
“He’s a fucking psycho. Stay back,” Noah warns, forcing me to stay in one spot.
Everything in front of me happens in slow motion.
One of the football coaches rushes Hayes, tackling him off of the lifeless teacher, but he doesn’t stop. He keeps fighting to get up like a rabid animal. Flinging his arms and kicking his legs as he yells.
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” A voice demands, and time stops altogether. Hayes’s blood-spattered torso goes limp as his father arrives on scene. Accompanying him is half of the police force.
He grabs Hayes by the collar, yanking him up off the ground. “You’ve embarrassed me for the last fucking time, boy. You’re finished.”
He tosses his son to the officer on his left and wipes the disdain off his hands. “Throw the book at him. He’s no son of mine.”