Chapter Fifty
Liv
Iworked so fucking hard my entire life for everything to go to plan, just to end up at the mercy of some lunatic. I can’t believe this is happening.
I finally feel at home, at peace, and it’s being ripped away. Outgrowing the cottage is inevitable, but it’s my sanctuary, not the one with big black iron gates.
If Hayes’s house was in better condition, I’d insist he take me there instead of the bunkhouse, but I understand the risks. He wants to keep me safe, and I’d rather make that easier for everyone.
Putting myself in harm’s way only increases the chances that Hayes will do something rash and end up in hot water again.
I can’t let that happen.
The floor creaks behind me, and I sigh again. I haven’t moved past the kitchen in the search for my phone. I’m getting nowhere. “Was it in the car?” I ask him as I turn around.
“Hi, Livvy.”
I blink.
It’s the only part of my body that functions.
A man… A version of someone I knew a million years ago.
“That’s what he called you. And, you liked it. Remember?” His voice is deeper than I remember.
His hair is darker. Unnaturally so.
His eyes used to be so kind, but now they look desperate and dull.
“I’ve missed you, Livvy.” His clothes hang on him like they’re a size too big for his slender frame. He was never much larger than me, but he looks sick or malnourished now.
“I don’t understand.”
“Come with me.”
“No.”
His eyes narrow. “Yes.”
“Why are you doing this?” He was always so kind to me.
The front door swings open, and he lunges at me before Jensen’s footsteps reach us.
“Liv! Thea’s been trying to get a hold of us. She found him! It’s–” Our phones fall from his hands like bricks, but I can’t see them hit the linoleum because a sharp blade is tucked under my chin, keeping my neck taut.
“Noah…” His name falls from Hayes’s lips as a warning.
I feel my old classmate’s muscles tense against me. I don’t know if they ever interacted in school, but Noah saw Hayes beat Mr. Arkett that night. He held me back while I screamed…
“She’s coming with me,” he forces through gritted teeth right beside my ear.
“No, she’s not,” Hayes says, holding his hands out in front of him.
“I’ve been waiting for her for years. If you hadn’t shown up again, she would have finally been mine!” He spits out, and I flinch at his outburst.
“What are you talking about? I haven’t seen you since high school,” I cry, trying to pull a fraction of an inch away, and reaping the consequences immediately as the sharp stinging rips across my throat.
“Don’t move, Liv!” Hayes thunders, his wild eyes locked on the blade under my chin.
Noah’s other hand drags the length of my spine over the thin fabric of my robe, and it takes all of my will not to retreat from it. “I wanted you to see me. But it was always him,” he spits at Hayes. “And, then Mr. Arkett swept you off your feet, and I was nothing, again!”
“I didn’t even know you liked me,” I utter, gasping as the first drip of blood rolls down the column of my neck.
“Liked you? I was in love with you!” He yells, gripping my hair suddenly, making me cry out in pain.
“All those study sessions. Computer lab dates. The first night you got in Mr. Arkett’s car instead of getting in mine was a slap in the face, but I forgave you. But watching him touch your body after prom when it should have been me, killed me!”
I feel Hayes take a step forward like I can always sense him, but Noah is focused on my face.
“I even applied to the same college so we could be together.”
My eyes blink rapidly, still trying to recall him from undergrad.
“You were upset. You needed me! But your stupid little friend wouldn’t let me near you,” he sneers. “She didn’t know what we had together.”
I only remember the nights I cried into my pillow, wishing for Hayes… I never thought twice about Noah once I graduated high school.
“Why didn’t you say anything years ago?”
He lets his fingers dance across my cheek. “I liked watching you. So, I waited for you.”
“Why?”
“Because you weren’t ready for me.”
“What?” I can’t make sense of any of this, but if I keep him talking, it’ll distract him from Hayes.
“I followed you to law school,” he murmurs in my ear.
I can’t believe it, and he sees the confusion on my face.
“You’re such a conceited whore. Never seeing what was right in front of you. Then you moved into the top floor of that fucking condo, and I lost my mind. I couldn’t watch you. I never knew if you needed me. I knew you would need me, Livvy.”
“I don’t understand,” the words tumble out of my mouth, and his blade only tightens on my throat, making me whimper.
“You were so independent, but you were consistent. You grabbed the same tea from the grocery store. You ate the same lunch every day. I watched you. Waited. And when you didn’t see me because you were always self-absorbed by your own life, I forced you to slow down.”
“What did you do?”
He brushes his fingers down my hair. “Turns out, you can tell any doctor some sob story, and they’ll give you enough medication to tranquilize a horse. Or in my case, micro-dose you until you would swoon at my feet, and I could save the day.”
“You drugged me?” I gasp, jerking in his arms, feeling the knife slice into my skin.
“Calm down, it was prescription drugs, not meth,” he spews, struggling to control me. Hayes uses that moment to lunge for him, grabbing his wrist in a vice grip.
The surprise only lasts a moment before Noah attempts to recoil, but Jensen is stronger. He yanks him and the knife away from me, but the force of it knocks Noah off his feet. His body crashes into Hayes, and both of them fall to the floor in a heap of limbs
“No!” I scream, watching Noah flail until he rolls off of him and to his feet. Jensen is holding his stomach, and his face is pinched in pain. “No!!”
“Fucking animal!” Noah yells, wiping Jensen’s blood off his hand and into his pants as he turns to me. “He took you from me! He always saved you, but not anymore! You’re mine!”
“I was never yours, you psycho!” I scream, gripping the counter behind me as he points the bloodied blade at me.
“Don’t say that!”
“Just leave, Noah. Go and let me help him. I won’t tell anyone, please,” I cry, needing to check Jensen’s injury. He hasn’t moved from the floor, and the blood has already drenched the front of his shirt.
“I can’t leave.” He shakes his head. “It’s too late.”
“It’s not. You can go,” I beg.
“Come with me. Let’s run away.” He holds his bloodied hand out for me, and I fight the urge to vomit.
“No.”
“Livvy…”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Fine. You’ve given me no choice.” As he steps towards me, he pulls handcuffs from his back pocket and dangles them in front of me. “Turn around, or I’ll gut you like I gutted the felon. Then I’ll go find your little bitch friend and gut her and her baby.”
“You bastard,” I sob.
“This is your fault, Livvy. He’s dead because of you. Now, turn around.”
With shaky limbs, I do as he says, turning until my hip bones hit the edge of the counter.
“Hands,” he demands, and it takes all my strength to move my arms behind me.
“Please, don’t,” I whisper, feeling the warmth of my tears stream down my face, the saltiness burns the wound on my neck as I weep.
“I thought if I looked like Mr. Arkett, you’d notice me. I guess I should have scribbled shit on my arms and copied the felon instead,” he grits out. “The lawyer and the ex-con. How cliché?”
“You don’t know me at all, Noah. You’re deranged,” I utter the words.
The first wrist is cuffed with a finite clink, and my entire body shakes.
“You’re right, Livvy. I don’t know you at all…” His fingers touch the back of my bare thigh, and a strangled noise leaves my throat, “But I can’t wait to know every inch of you.” He inhales deeply against my hair at the nape of my neck, and a sob heaves out of me.
His hand trembles as his palm slinks up my hip, and it lifts the hem of my robe above my butt, making me flinch aggressively. The movement forces his hand to snap back to my wrists to keep me secure, and my bones cry out in agony as he attempts to finish shackling me.
I almost whimper in defeat right before the second cuff clicks, but instead, I yelp as the metal ring breaks away suddenly, and his hands are ripped from mine.
Jensen’s arms are locked around him in a bear hug from behind, tearing his body from mine and dragging him across the kitchen with a burst of guttural exertion.
“Go!” He grates out, and Noah makes desperate swipes at his forearms with the knife. His arms don’t loosen, giving me a chance to run, but I can’t move.
Jensen’s face is washed out, and sweat is pouring off his skin as he struggles. This is all my fault. He is going to die because of me.
I don’t want to leave without him. I can’t.
The knife strikes bone, and he grumbles in agony, squeezing his eyes shut. “No!” I scream, lunging for them as he falls back, being sandwiched between Noah and the wall.
I don’t think. I don’t hesitate, grabbing Noah’s wrist with both of my hands and shoving upward as hard as I can.
I don’t know how…
But the blade lodges in his trachea.
His eyes go wide, but mine are wider, watching the blood pour from his throat.
Bursts of wet rasps escape him until his grip loosens, and his hand falls, but the knife remains buried deep in his windpipe.
When the frothy sputtering stops, his body goes limp in Jensen’s arms, and both men collapse to the floor.
“Jensen,” I breathe, swaying as I fall to my knees. The kitchen is spinning as I search his face, his body.
“Please, Jensen. Please,” I beg, crawling over him. His shirt is saturated, but my hands search for his wound, covering it with my palms when he cries out in pain.
“I’m sorry, dove,” he murmurs, not even opening his eyes.
“No, no, no,” I mutter. I need help, I need someone.
There’s no one here to save him.
I lift my hand, staring at the blood that belongs to the man I love more than anything, and bring it to my cheek, dragging the warmth of it across my face until it feels real.
I need to do something.
There is no one here to save him but me.
My trembling, bloodied fingers dig into my jaw until the gripping pain surges me into action.
I stumble, attempting to stand, but on the second try, I make it to the sink and rip open the drawer there, pulling out all my dish towels and throwing them to the floor where Jensen lays bleeding to death.
My knees skid to the floor beside him again, and my hands twitch above him. I don’t know what to do; I’m not a doctor. I’ve never been able to stand the sight of… Blood.
I need to stop the bleeding.
His shirt is slick in my hands as I shove it up and away from his stomach, exposing the puncture a few inches below my name on his sternum and the blood welling from it.
How much blood can a person lose?
I shove a dish towel on it, putting all my weight against his abdomen.
“Jensen, please, wake up. Please, I need you, baby. Please, wake up.”
His eyelids hardly flutter, and my tears pour from my eyes, mixing with the blood coating his skin.
“I love you, Jensen. I need you. Do you hear me? I need you! Don’t fucking die on me. You promised not to leave me!”
Sound sputters from his mouth, but so does a drop of blood, smearing red across his lips. No, no, no, no.
I lunge for my phone a few feet away, using my body to keep the towel pressed to his stomach, and I scramble to unlock it with blood-soaked fingers, barely managing to do what I need.
The phone doesn’t ring a full ring before Malec answers. “Liv, I’ve been–”
“Help! Please, help us! Jensen’s been stabbed, please,” I cry hysterically, letting the phone fall from my hand.
His words are inaudible as he relays to dispatch that we need an ambulance, but I leave him on speaker on the floor. I need both my hands on Jensen. I refuse to take my hands off him.
“I am only a few minutes away, Liv. I knew something was wrong when we couldn’t get a hold of you guys,” Malec says. “I’m so sorry. Dammit!” He yells, and I hear his engine revving louder. “Where’s the perp? Are you safe?”
“I– I’m safe,” I mutter, leaning down to rest my cheek against Jensen’s.
His chest is still rising and falling, but his face has paled completely. He’s fading right in front of my eyes.
“Jensen, please. Fight for me, one last time. I’ll never ask you to fight again. You died once and came back from it; you can do it again. Please, for me,” I beg. “If you don’t survive this, I can’t live without you. I will end my fucking life if you die. Do you hear me?”
I don’t know if he can hear me. And, I don’t know if he has enough fight in him left to care… But I will fight for him. I’ll beg God. I’ll do anything.
I will do anything.
I stabbed a man to death.
And, I only wish I had done it sooner. So I could save Jensen.
I would kill for him.
I would go to prison for him.
I would give my life for him.
But I need him to live.