Chapter Six Nora #2
They both looked at Soraya. She peeled herself off the wall and started to walk toward them.
“I don’t consider it karma. But the golden rule, of course, is that you do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
The Bible also says . . . what you sow, you will also reap.
Which I think is a pretty similar concept. ”
“Kind of.” Nora didn’t really think it was.
Soraya was still keeping her distance from the evil book of spells.
Nora watched her for a long moment and experienced the first stirring of true sympathy for her.
Whatever Nora thought about Soraya’s beliefs, Soraya was genuine.
She was afraid. And she was on the verge of losing her entire support network.
Nora had been raised by wolves, basically, so she hadn’t had a lifelong network of support. But Soraya did. Now, because she was doing what she had to do to keep her sanity, to respect herself, they were all on the verge of turning their backs on her.
That must feel lonely. The girl who had told Nora things happened for a reason back in high school was a girl who hadn’t been through hard things yet.
Though Nora’s lifetime of previous disappointments hadn’t prepared her for the one she was currently experiencing. For the clawing despair and uncertainty that hit her when she imagined how it might be if Ben didn’t come home. If he didn’t want to be with her.
Daisy turned the page in the grimoire. “Spellwork,” she whispered. “Love spells. Spells for revenge. Spells for prosperity. Manifesting.”
“None of that is real,” Nora said. Both Daisy and Soraya looked at her. “Well, I just don’t think it is.” But something in her wanted to believe it. Something in her that had always wanted to discover that she was a secret princess or a secret fairy or, of course, a secret witch.
What teenage girl didn’t want to have secret magical powers?
She had needed those fantasies, those hopes, when she was young and hadn’t felt like she had any control in her life. She didn’t need it now.
Except . . .
She felt like she was standing on the edge of that chasm again. Maybe she did need it now.
A steady stream of people came into the apothecary for readings. It surprised Nora. She hadn’t imagined there was that much of a demand for an old lady to tell you about your life. But then, she supposed she kind of needed it. Why shouldn’t everybody else?
Soraya learned how to refill the loose-leaf tea jars and how to make individual portions, then started going through recipes for drinks. Nora worked the cash register, and Daisy began to peruse the financial records for the business.
All in all, the day went relatively quickly. It was definitely a business mostly supported by Aggie’s readings, but Nora wondered if that would change once there were food and beverages on offer.
When it was time for the store to close and the streetlights outside had come on, Aggie walked to the door and turned the sign. “I think today went well,” she said.
“How do people find out about your readings?” Nora was curious.
“The people who need me find me.”
Nora wanted to roll her eyes. She also wanted to believe in something.
Not that belief seemed to be giving Soraya any peace in this moment. Nora was half surprised Soraya hadn’t bolted out the door as soon as the sign was turned.
Daisy picked the grimoire up off the counter and held it to her chest. “And you do spells for people.”
“Yes,” Aggie said. “Though not as often. At least, not yet.”
“Do you teach people to do their own spells?” Nora asked.
“Oh yes,” Aggie replied. “In fact, I am going to begin hosting spell and tarot nights. For people to learn how to do their own readings and to cast their own spells. To tap into their own magic.”
“Everyone?” Nora could think of half a dozen people off the top of her head who were definitely not even a little magic. So she doubted this point of view.
Aggie nodded. “Everyone is magic. But we forget about it as we grow older, so we have to look back and dig deep, find our young self, and find our magic again.”
“I was definitely not magic when I was younger.”
“Something took it from you. Not the magic itself, but your belief in it. It can happen when you’re very small.
Something makes you afraid, or it makes you think you have no control.
It makes you think your intuition is wrong or that it can’t be trusted.
But everyone has magic. They just have to relearn it. ”
Nora felt a lot like she had when she’d found that Ouija board. When she had really, really wanted to make it work. To get it to tell her that things would be okay. To get some assurance that her whole life wasn’t going to be as a driftless foster kid who didn’t have anyone.
Then Sam had made her feel embarrassed. Because he had been standing there looking at her, and she had been talking about love and . . .
“What if I wanted to learn to do a spell?”
Daisy and Soraya were staring at her now. “I still think it might be bullshit,” Nora said. “But there’s no harm in trying.”
Soraya looked like she really wanted to say that there was harm in trying. Hellfire and all of that, but she held it in.
“I’m afraid you will have to have a bit more intention than that to tap into your magic,” Aggie said.
“What is this, like a faith healing?” Nora asked. “Where it only fails if I don’t believe enough?”
“No. But the power has to come from inside of you. If you can’t believe in it, you won’t be able to feel it. You won’t be able to guide it. That said, this isn’t a bad place to start.” Aggie looked at all of them. “In fact, it would be good for the three of you to learn a spell. Just a small one.”
“Oh no. No. I am not doing spells.” Soraya took a deep breath and moved away from the group. “I don’t want to do spells. I can bake. And I can be here, but I can’t do . . . that.”
“What do you think spells are, Soraya?” Aggie asked.
“It’s . . . asking the universe or . . . Satan to do things for you that you can only ask God for.”
Aggie looked thoughtful. “It can be those things, I suppose. It can also be you asking your higher power for something.”
“I do that all the time,” Soraya said.
“Right,” Aggie said. “Mind you, I like to put some crystals with my intentions. What is it that you’re afraid of?”
“I’m not supposed to do this.” Soraya looked away, fidgeting.
“And why is that?”
“Because I . . . It’s wrong. You aren’t supposed to look to your own power. Doing this means turning away from what I believe.”
Aggie shook her head. “You don’t have to abandon your faith.
What I believe doesn’t ask you to do that.
I believe in the divine in all its forms, including the form that you recognize.
It’s your belief that would require me to give up mine.
It’s your belief that says mine can’t exist. I believe you can hold your faith and this power together. ”
“I don’t do spells. I pray.”
Aggie arched one white eyebrow. “What are spells but prayers men don’t like?”
Soraya laughed, then looked conflicted. “I . . . It’s fine. You can all do it.”
“And you’ll judge us,” Nora said.
“I won’t!” Soraya cleared her throat and lowered her voice. “I won’t. I know I’m tired of being judged. Having people not understand why I made the decisions I did. I’m not judging, I just . . .”
“All of you think about what worries you most right now,” Aggie commanded. “You don’t have to, Soraya.”
“Well, I’m worried,” she said. “A lot, and I’m thinking about it.”
“Capture it.” Aggie went behind the counter, took out two leaves, and handed them to Nora and Daisy. “Write what you need on the bay leaf. Something small.”
“I’m worried about the sets for the play I’m working on,” Daisy said. “Something like that?”
Aggie nodded. “Anything, but that works to start.”
Nora stared at the leaf. She could use an art commission or a new article job, but she put herself out there for those. She didn’t expect to get spontaneous offers. She wrote: New art commission.
“When you go home, you can either hang on to these or burn them to set your intention. It’s up to you.”
“That’s it?” Soraya asked.
“Yes,” said Aggie. “Do you have a vision board, by any chance?”
Soraya blinked. “Yeeesss.” She drew the word out slowly.
“For you, you could write what you need and put it on your board. That’s where you set your intentions, right?”
Soraya looked conflicted. “Yes.”
“It comes from you. Whether you see it as a goal or magic or manifestation. It all comes from you.”
Soraya cleared her throat. “Okay. I’ll take a leaf.”
Aggie smiled and handed one to Soraya, who wrote on it quickly and then put the leaf into her purse.
Nora would have rolled her eyes at Soraya, except now she didn’t feel like she was as different from Soraya as she’d always thought.
They were all products of their upbringing.
Nora didn’t trust easily. Soraya trusted people in certain positions of authority.
It was a learned behavior. And right in that moment, Nora could see how they were both just reactions.
She wasn’t better than Soraya because she was a skeptic.
She was a skeptic because of the shape of her life.
Everything had worked for Soraya. Up until now. Why wouldn’t she put faith in an institution that had always been there for her?
It was only now that Soraya was getting a taste of what Nora had always known.
Aggie showed them how to close down the shop. Cleaning up any dishes that had been used, refilling all the bins of dried tea. Aggie lit a bundle of sage and cleared the room of negative energy before turning the lights off and ushering them outside.
“It was a good first day.” Aggie smiled at all of them. “Your help is exactly what I needed.”
“I think it’s what we needed,” Daisy said.
“We need each other. That’s the most beautiful thing about life. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” With a wave of her hand, Aggie turned and left them all standing there.
Nora stared after her. “She’s a funny woman.”
“Well, she’s a witch,” Soraya said. Daisy and Nora looked at Soraya. “I mean that in a nonderogatory way.”
“Do you?” Nora asked.
“I’m trying to.” Soraya let out a long breath. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything. And I feel overwhelmed by that. Sorry. I don’t know who I can trust. I don’t know what to believe in half the time. I’m just trying.”
“We’re all trying together.” Daisy sighed. “I have rehearsal tomorrow night, and then Jonathan is going to take the kids. I hate being alone in the house.”
“Let’s have dinner,” Nora said. “After your rehearsal.”
“It’ll be kind of late.”
Soraya shrugged. “That’s fine.”
Daisy looked relieved by the offer. “Thank you.”
“What time is the rehearsal over?” Nora asked. “I can bring something by your place.”
“We’ll probably get out around seven thirty.”
“Sounds great.”
It actually did. There was a kind of magic about the fact that anything could sound great right now. Nora had hoped to hear from Ben, but she didn’t.
But before she fell asleep, she had texts from Sam and the Discarded Wives Club. Even in the middle of all this darkness, there was some light.