Noah
LAST NIGHT HAD been an absolute disaster.
So when I was asked once again to join Nicholas in his private car the morning after we left Solterra, I thought the king must’ve lost his mind, the same way he had the night before.
We really should’ve been keeping our distance now, especially when Nicholas had turned the formal dinner into a territorial dispute over whether Prince Alejandro’s footman had made me smile.
Instead of my being ushered into the last car in the motorcade, Baxter directed me to the king’s car without so much as a flicker of an expression, which somehow made it worse.
I’d heard the whispers last night, the staff from both houses gossiping about why the king had noticed two footmen and had such an outburst about it.
I kept my spine straight and my face as neutral as I walked toward his car, even though my heart was trying to escape through my throat.
Nicholas was already seated inside by the far window in a dark travel coat, hand wrapped tightly around a pair of leather gloves. He looked like he hadn’t slept, and he didn’t look my way when I entered, keeping his eyes locked on something out the window.
I slid into the seat beside him, and when the door shut behind me, a tense silence filled the car. Neither of us spoke as the motorcade began the drive back to Valoria.
“Bennett,” Nicholas said finally.
Shit. That wasn’t a good start after what happened last night.
“Your Majesty.”
His jaw bunched, but he didn’t fight it, didn’t ask me to call him Nicholas.
What was I even doing here?
It made my chest ache, this tension between us, and I couldn’t look at him when it felt like this. My eyes fell to the window, where Solterra passed by in a blur of vibrant color, and I felt the need to say something, anything.
“You made them wonder last night.”
He didn’t answer right away, and I didn’t know if he’d heard me, but then he said, “I know.”
“You made Prince Alejandro wonder.”
“I know that too.”
My eyes snapped to his, and the look I saw there wasn’t what I expected. I thought maybe he’d be defensive about what had happened, but there was a mix of shame and regret that dulled his beautiful blues.
“He said something to you, didn’t he?”
Nicholas looked down at his gloves, and that was answer enough.
My stomach turned. “What did he say?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does if it was about me. About us.”
Nicholas’s shoulders dropped. “He noticed too much. Let’s leave it at that.”
Oh God. I knew it. I knew the prince was more perceptive than his charm let on.
I felt my face getting hot. “You just couldn’t help it, could you?” I said. “All this because you couldn’t stand to see me smile at someone else.”
Nicholas flinched. “I know.”
“Where do you get off doing that? I had to watch you sit beside him and let him touch your hand and hear him talk about your future and I behaved, but you couldn’t let his staff even speak to me without causing a scene?”
He rubbed at the space between his brows. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
He sounded so defeated. I wanted him to argue, to fight back, to use all that royal command to tell me he could behave any way he wanted—but he didn’t, and somehow that was worse.
“I’m not angry that you were jealous,” I said. “I live with my jealousy over not having your future. I get it. But this could cost me everything, you know that.”
His hand clenched around the gloves. “I would never let anything happen to you.”
“You might not be able to stop it.”
Nicholas looked at me, the pain in his eyes clear. “I know.”
Those two words told me exactly how this was going to end, and now that I was on this rollercoaster, there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Part of me wanted to reach for him, to be close to him because I knew our time together was coming to an end.
Even though the whispers were getting louder and the very people we wanted in the dark were finding out, I still desperately wanted to be in his arms, not arguing over the fact that he cared too much and had let it slip.
I just wished I could sit beside him without fear. That I could be with him in the daylight and not just as his secret at night. I wanted to be the one who cracked his heart open and received all the love I knew he would give to the right person.
But it would never happen.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t notice the car had turned off onto a narrow road, or that our vehicle was no longer part of the motorcade.
We’d been traveling back toward Valoria, I thought, but out my window there were cliffs that dropped off into the sea, and it was so familiar and unexpected that I gasped.
“This isn’t the right way,” I said, but Nicholas didn’t utter a word as I leaned forward in my seat. My pulse kicked up several notches as the small village I’d grown up in came into view.
But this wasn’t on the schedule, and it definitely was out of the way.
I turned to him slowly, and there was an almost nervous look on his face.
“Why are we in Whitefall Cliffs?” I asked.
“You said you haven’t seen your family in years.”
I stared at him, waiting for him to look at me, and then he lifted his head.
“So I thought we could go.”
For a second, I couldn’t find the words. There was no way Nicholas had decided to make a detour, and definitely not for me.
I felt a sting behind my eyes and had to look away, back out the window where we were turning onto the road my parents lived off. “I…” I shook my head, a flood of emotions filling me. “Thank you.”
He didn’t say anything as the cottage appeared at the end of the lane, small and gray—it had been blue at one time, but the weather and salt spray off the sea had made it fade over the years.
“Will it be okay to arrive unannounced?” Nicholas asked as the car drew to a stop by the front door.
“As opposed to calling them and telling the king is stopping by?” I chuckled just thinking about the mayhem that would cause. “I think the shock will be much more welcome than the stress of prior knowledge. But it’s kind of you to be concerned.”
“Of course.” He inclined his head, polite facade still firmly in place, and while I knew he was doing it to create some kind of distance between us, I hated it. “After you,” he said when he tapped on the window of his car and his security opened the door.
“No. This might be my childhood home, but you’re still the king. My parents would be appalled if they saw me exit this vehicle before you. After you, Your Majesty.”
Nicholas shook his head but didn’t argue further. He stepped out of the car and I followed after. He stretched his neck from side to side, then turned in my direction, and just as he opened his mouth to say something, the front door to the cottage opened and my mother appeared on the stoop.
In a plain navy skirt, white blouse, and matching apron, she looked every inch the housewife she was. When her eyes locked on to the man standing in front of her, they widened and she lowered her head.
“Y-Your Majesty,” she stammered, and moved into a low curtsy. “I didn’t realize it was you who was out here.”
“Please, don’t worry yourself,” Nicholas said, stepping forward and reaching out a hand to where she would see it. “I should’ve announced my arrival.”
He glanced back at me, a brow raised. Maybe a little heads-up would’ve helped. But I knew my mother, and she would’ve been a wreck for a week if she knew the King of Valoria was planning to stop by her home.
“Oh no.” She shook her head, still not looking at or touching him. “It’s my pleasure to host Your Majesty whenever he wishes.”
“Then please, let me apologize for the surprise. I merely wanted to keep it a secret from your son, Noah.” He waited patiently, and when she finally raised her head, he added, “He’s missed you terribly.”
Her eyes shifted to where I stood. “Noah…”
“Mum.” My smile came easy then, wide and full of joy, as she finally took hold of Nicholas’s hand as though she might fall from the shock of seeing me.
“How are you here? Why?” She blinked several times before looking back to Nicholas. “Is something wrong? Is he unwell?”
“No,” Nicholas said, then clasped both of her hands between his. “Nothing like that. Noah mentioned he hadn’t seen you for a long time, and I thought we could rectify that on our way back to Montclair.”
If my mother thought it odd that the king was calling me by my first name, she didn’t say. Then again, her shock at seeing us both standing there was likely overriding it.
“That’s very kind of you, Your Majesty. But I must confess, our home is not near fit for someone of your—”
“I’m sure your home is lovely.” Nicholas stepped aside and gestured for me to join them. “Noah?”
My breath caught at the emotion swirling in his eyes when he looked back at me, a mixture of kindness, joy, and sadness that made my heart ache as I stepped up beside him and turned to my mother, drawing her into my embrace.
She wound her arms around my neck and squeezed me tight, the years between us falling away as her love and warmth surrounded me, and it was exactly what I needed, the grounding presence I’d been looking for as my world spun out of my control.
When we finally pulled apart, she took my face between her hands and pulled me down to kiss my forehead.
“It’s so good to see you, my boy.”
“You too, Mum.”
She looked back at Nicholas, then whispered, “Are you sure you’re not in trouble?”
No, I thought. But she wasn’t asking about my personal life; she was talking about my professional one—although I guess they could almost be considered one and the same now.
“I’m not in trouble,” I assured her. “Nic— His Majesty surprised me just as much as you with this little detour.”
“Your father won’t believe it.”
“Is he home?”
“Yes. He’s in the sunroom.” She looked inside the house, grimacing as she realized she was about to host the King of Valoria in her tiny, run-down cottage.
“He’s not going to judge you, Mum. He’s not like that.”
She worried her lower lip, much the same way I did when I was worried over something, then looked back to Nicholas.