Chapter 15 #2
Her smile widened; a glint in her eye. “Ah, but how is it not vanity when nobody’s joy can compare to my own?
” She leaned in closer, her voice low. “I enjoy music, and I believe it is proper for me to do so. However, there is more to it than that. I know I play very well, you see.” She leaned back, her eyes searching his face for his opinion, her hands clasped in her lap, fingers twisted, waiting for his judgment.
Her honest confession was endearing, and she possessed enough self-righteousness for Darcy to recognize that her next comment would be one of self-condemnation. Before she could cast a negative light on her talent, he asked, “How did you learn to play so well?”
Her gaze flickered over to Miss Elizabeth, who had drawn her nearest neighbors at the table into her conversation with Mr. Bingley, then back to him.
“It is Lizzy’s doing as much as it is Mama’s.
” Ah, the arrangement. Having nothing pleasant to say about that, Darcy kept his silence and waited for Miss Mary to continue.
“Every month Mr. Darcy sent a basket of fruit and gifts befitting a family with so many daughters.” She clutched the fichu at her throat.
“His selections were perfect, so much so that I imagined that he would have made a wonderful father for a girl.”
Darcy’s heart clenched. Father had doted on Georgiana. Darcy was the heir, but he held no delusions of being his father’s favored child. That honor had plainly belonged to Georgiana.
Miss Mary shrugged. “Of course, I am aware now that the contents of the baskets were likely the work of his housekeeper or secretary.”
Darcy doubted that. Father would have taken his monthly offering too seriously to trust someone else with it.
Another flicker to Miss Elizabeth and back.
“Something changed. We had been receiving baskets full of fruit, cakes, ribbons, and magazines every month for about five years. Lizzy grew more serious and became more industrious than she had ever been, spending hours in Papa’s study with his ledgers, visiting our tenants, and making calls in Meryton.
Kitty and Lydia complained about the loss of the trinkets and delicacies, but I was overjoyed.
What we were offered was of far greater value. ”
She paused, and Darcy realized that he had been holding his breath.
“Education.” She continued, “Mr. Darcy made it possible for us to receive instruction from knowledgeable tutors, experts in their subject. Papa hardly noticed, but Mama saw how we stood to benefit. Her aim has always been to help us marry well, but I remember thinking that Lizzy had found what she was good at and I determined to find the same for myself. On my first lesson with our music teacher, he praised my focus and determination. He assured me that if I applied those qualities to my lessons and practice, I would become an accomplished musician. So that is what I did.”
What Darcy had considered to be little more than a bribe before was now something far more honorable.
The education his father made possible for the Bennet daughters allowed them dignity and a measure of freedom they would not likely have been provided by their own father.
Where Darcy had previously only seen presumption and selfish disregard for the will of others, he now recognized that his father had laid the foundation that led directly to the accomplishments Miss Mary possessed.
Time would tell how the other sisters had chosen to benefit from the education offered to them.
“I am sincerely grateful to Mr. Darcy.” She bowed her head respectfully. “I would have liked to thank him personally.”
Darcy wished she might have had that chance, too. The more he learned about his father’s dealings with the Bennets, the more questions Darcy wished he could ask him and the more he realized how little he had understood his father. How different things might have been…
Swallowing hard, his longing to mend the past throbbing in his chest, Darcy considered Miss Mary.
His opportunity to make peace with his father had passed, but he could assure Miss Mary that her exertions would have been received favorably by his father.
There was nothing he had valued more than initiative and dedication.
“I am certain that a gentleman such as Mr. Darcy would approve fully of your use of his benevolence.”
Her smile widened. “I would have liked to play for him.”
Father would have liked that. Music had been Mother’s passion, and had Georgiana lived, Darcy had no doubt that she would have received extensive instruction from the best masters.
Darcy imagined his father closing his eyes, his hands swaying and moving along with the notes.
“He would have enjoyed that. Any gentleman who took such an interest in your musical education would.”
She nodded in agreement. “Perhaps I shall play for his son someday.”
He was uncomfortably aware of the irony. “What would you have played for Mr. Darcy?”
“Beethoven’s Appassionata.” His eyebrows shot up. While he did not pretend to be an expert on music, he had only heard that piece played once or twice and by professional pianists hired to play for the public. She added, “I believe the piece would display my technique sufficiently.”
“It is a demanding piece, not one I have heard played often.”
Her eyes snapped to him. “You have heard it played?”
“I have.”
“Was it as beautiful as I think it must sound? It is a foolish question, I know, for you cannot know what I think it sounds like. Oh, if only I knew I could play it as well as it is meant to be played, then I would be content.”
Lady Lucas rose from the table then, signaling to the ladies that it was time for them to retire to the drawing room. Darcy pulled back Miss Mary’s chair. “I hope I might someday have the privilege of hearing you play your selection. It would be an honor.”
“You promise to tell me how my playing compares?”
Finally, a promise he was proud to make. “I promise.”
“You will not exaggerate my abilities to be kind?”
“I would not do you the disservice.”
She pinched her lips together and, after a moment, she nodded, apparently coming to a decision. Then she departed, leaving Darcy in the room of gentlemen, clouds of cigar smoke already clouding the air.
Darcy settled beside Mr. Bingley and waited for Wickham to join them.
The scoundrel sat between Sir William and Mr. Bennet, entertaining the gentlemen, making them laugh, bumping elbows and clapping backs like old friends.
Not once did he look in Darcy’s direction, though Darcy sensed he was as aware of his every movement as he was of Wickham’s.
At length, Sir William declared that it was time to join the ladies.
And still, Wickham did not approach.