41. Chapter Forty-One
As I drive back home, tears stream down my face at the thought of seeing Xander again. It’s been five long years since he’s been near me, and I had forgotten how his presence could make my body come alive. The way he used to look at me made my heart race like I was his entire world. There’s still that look in his eyes that makes me feel like the most precious thing on earth, but deep down, I know it’s just an act. He totally rocked that act in high school, using it to manipulate girls and get what he wanted.
Tonight, I didn’t fall for it, even though part of me wanted to hear all about his new life. I was curious about how he”s feeling now that he”s made it big, and if it”s everything he ever hoped it would be. But I didn”t wanna risk being tossed aside once again, so I played it safe. This time, I have Alex to think about, and if his father isnot interested in getting to know him, then I can”t go down that road. Besides, he was probably looking for a hook-up for the night, and tomorrow he’ll leave without giving me another thought.
I swipe the back of my hand across my face, trying to wipe away the tears as I fight to keep my attention on the dimly lit street in front of me through the windshield. All I need is to make it to the opposite side of town so I can finally get home.
My mother always cautioned me about the dangers that lurked in this rough part of town. She strongly believed that Alex and I shouldn’t live here, but circumstances left me with no choice but to escape her tyrannical influence. As I continue driving, fresh tears cascade down my face as I catch sight of the vibrant neon sign of the burger joint ahead. It’s the very same spot where Xander once treated me to delicious burgers and made me feel cherished.
“Stop it this instant,” I say to myself. “Quit crying over someone who never cared about you. You’re stronger than that.”
Parking my car among the other dilapidated vehicles in the car park, I lock it up and head towards the entrance doors. Climbing the steps up to the twelfth floor, I retrieve my keys from my bag and unlock the door. The serene silence inside reassures me that Alex must already be asleep, given the late hour.
The room is bathed in a warm glow from the kitchen light, which illuminates the area. As I glance over, I notice Mrs. B. peacefully asleep on the couch, her head resting against the back. Her glasses are slightly askew, and her mouth is open. It truly astonishes me how this remarkable woman goes above and beyond, exceeding anything I could ever ask of my mother, despite not being related to me. It’s already one-thirty in the morning, and I can’t help but ponder how, if it were my own mother, she would have incessantly called me, asking when I’ll be coming home.
I carefully place my bag on the table, followed by my keys, hoping to avoid making any noise. Unfortunately, my attempts are futile as Mrs. B. wakes up and glances over at me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” I quickly apologize.
“No, you didn’t. I just closed my eyes for a few minutes,” she explains, getting up from the couch and coming over. Her movements are slow, and her aging body shows signs of stiffness.
”How was he tonight?” I ask, hoping Alex is doing better.
“He seemed more energetic tonight. We read a story and put together a puzzle. Then he asked me to take a seat so he could play something on his guitar.”
I smile with relief as I hear him returning to his usual self.
“But he barely touched his dinner. How was your night?”
I walk towards the sink, my hand reaching out for a glass of water, uncertain of how to convey to her the immense wave of emotions that washed over me upon seeing Xander again. It was like my heart had been shattered all over again.
“That bad, huh,” she says when I don’t answer. She gets how much Xander”s actions hurt me with how he won”t even be there for his own kid.
“Are you okay?” Mrs. Baxter asks.
With a glass in hand, I turn towards her. Nodding, I raise the glass to my lips and take a large gulp of water, desperately attempting to suppress the tears that are forming in my eyes. Yet, it proves to be in vain; Mrs. B has already detected my distress.
“Come here, love,” she says, her arms wide open.
As I set the glass down on the sink, I find solace in her comforting embrace, tears flowing freely down my face. This vulnerable side of me, I’ve only shown her once before, when I couldn’t keep it inside any longer, and I revealed the painful truth of what happened five years ago - when Xander left me, and I found out I was pregnant.
”The most messed up thing is, Ace from the band actually offered me a job,” I say, wiping my nose and trying to hold back tears.
“What kind of job?” she asks.
“I don’t know exactly. Something about just being around.”
“They want you to be around Xander after everything that has happened.”
”Yep,” I say, grabbing the card from my back pocket and giving it to her.
When she gives it back, I go over to the trash and toss it in.
“I don”t think I can deal with that. It hurts to see him. He tried to talk to me tonight, but I just couldn’t do it. Ace wants me to come along on their Australia and New Zealand tour.”
She looks at me, totally confused.
“I know, right? It’s absurd,” I add.
“I’m totally confused. Why do they want you to go on tour?”
As I sit at the table, a deep sigh escapes me, as I feel the weight of the night settling upon my shoulders. “Well, tonight there was an incident. Xander’s father unexpectedly showed up and caused trouble. Xander was furious when he saw his dad. Ace and another guy attempted to calm him down, but he refused to listen. It was only when I approached him and intervened that he finally stopped. I know it might have been foolish of me to get involved. I should have just stayed out of it. However, seeing his father there and knowing what he’s been through, I couldn’t just stand idly by and do nothing.”
Mrs. B takes a seat beside me. “So, let me get this straight, Xander only stopped when you told him to?“
“Yes.”
“And the others told him to stop, but he wouldn’t listen?”
”Yep, that”s right,” I say, feeling kind of confused about where this conversation is going. “What’s your point?”
“It’s nothing,” she says, a mischievous smirk playing on her lips, hinting at an undisclosed secret. “You should think about it.”
“Think about what, exactly?” I inquire, rising from my seat and making my way towards the kitchen. Unsure of how to proceed, I pick up a dish towel from the kitchen counter and neatly place it on the hook.
“Consider going.”
I turn around, staring at her as if she has grown another head. A laugh escapes me, finding the idea completely ridiculous. “Eight weeks? How in the world could I ever be away from Alex for that long? It’s just not possible.”
“So how much are they offering you?” She raises an eyebrow, intrigued.
”I can have whatever I want,” I say, leaning against the kitchen counter with my arms crossed. “Ace said to name my price.”
“Can’t you see, Poppy? Remember, a few years back when you said you wanted to find a special place for Alex to have amazing childhood memories? You wanted him to have a big backyard to play, ride a bike, and have a tree swing. This is your chance to make that dream come true.”
“No. I can”t be near a man who didn”t want me or our child.”
“Just put that aside and focus on the result. Eight weeks isn”t that long if you really think about it. If you pass on this chance now for a better future, will you regret it later? Alex is fine to stay with me.”
She was correct. I must consider the larger perspective. There”s a chance I could get enough money to buy a house in a more desirable neighborhood. Then Alex can hang out with other kids his age and learn how to ride a bike. The current situation here is extremely dangerous, so it is too risky to let him venture out into the hallway. Can I truly accomplish this? Can I spend eight weeks with Xander? Is it possible for me to stay strong and resist his charm?
As I turn my head to think, a large cockroach scuttling across the floor in front of me abruptly captures my attention. Just the sight of it sends shivers down my spine. This place is truly unbearable. Within days of moving in, I realized that coming here was the biggest mistake of my life. However, I had no other option but to stay, as I couldn’t go back to my mother’s place. I couldn’t subject Alex to the constant negativity and relentless criticism of Xander. I longed to provide him with a much better life than the one we had while living at my mother’s house.
This place was meant to be a temporary fix until I could find a better alternative, but unfortunately, that never happened. I now have an incredible chance to rectify the situation. I have this amazing chance to spend eight weeks on something I don”t want to do, but it could change our lives and give us a place to call home.
I quickly squash the cockroach, getting rid of the disgusting creature. If I never have to come across another one again, I would be happy. Just seeing a cockroach crawling on the edge of my bed two days after moving in made me feel disgusted and repulsed. I need to get out of this place.
As I glance back at Mrs. B, I notice her watching me. And she’s right. I can handle this for eight weeks. All I have to do is stay focused, keep my guard up, and make sure I keep my distance from Xander.
I walk over to the trash can, grab the card, and then my phone. It’s already past two. It’s late, but I send a text anyway.
Poppy: Hey Ace, it’s Poppy. Alright, I’m game, but I’ve got a couple of conditions. First, you need to offer me a dollar amount I can”t refuse. Also, I need $10,000 upfront to cover rent and support for my son while I’m gone.
After sending the message, I gently set my phone down on the table, knowing well that I won’t hear back until tomorrow.
Mrs. B gets up from her seat and says, “You’re making the right decision, Poppy. You’re thinking about your future.”
My phone makes a noise, and Mrs. B glances at it. I snatch my phone and check the message, reading it aloud.
Ace: Cool, let”s meet up at the Astor Hotel tomorrow at 10.
The next morning, after leaving Alex with Mrs. B, I make my way towards the hotel. Uncertainty fills me, and I do not know what to expect. I couldn’t sleep at all last night, constantly questioning if going back to Xander’s realm is the right choice. But deep down, I have a firm belief that whatever awaits me after eight weeks will be worth it. I keep reminding myself that I’m only doing it for the money, and that’s the only reason.
Pulling up in front of the hotel, I switch off the engine and feel a surge of nerves wash over me. Leaning forward, I take a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself, but before I can fully compose myself, a sudden knock on my window startles me. Glancing over, I see a hotel employee dressed in their uniform. Eagerly, I roll down the window, wondering if Ace or Reg had sent them to guide me.
“Sorry, but you can’t park that vehicle here.”
“Why?”
“Because...” The employee pauses, and I quickly glance around. The surroundings are filled with luxurious, shiny cars that exude prestige, making my green clunker look more like an abandoned vehicle. I roll up the window, totally ignoring him. Without hesitation, I push open the door, causing him to take a step back as I get out of my car.
No matter how tempting it may be to snatch one of the many flashy cars out here, I make sure to lock up my trusty old shitbox. Despite its lackluster appearance, it holds immense sentimental value for me. Sadly, I cannot afford insurance, so the thought of replacing it would be an unbearable financial burden.
”Miss, I told you to move your car,” he says, chasing after me as I walk towards the hotel entrance.
“I don”t give a damn about what you want. It”s there now, so just deal with it,” I say, throwing the words over my shoulder.
“Miss, you’re not listening to me.”
“And you’re not listening to me. My car is going to be there for at least twenty minutes. I’ll move it once this meeting is done. That is, if the old junk starts,” I throw out, chuckling, trying to get under his skin. So what if my car isn’t up to par? This is just how my life is, and he’ll have to deal with it.
With confidence, I stride through the automatic double doors that effortlessly slide open.
When my name is called, I immediately turn to the left and see Reg and Ace sitting at a table. The table is placed against a glass window, which provides a beautiful view of a lively garden. On the round glass table, there are two coffee cups and a noticeably large yellow envelope. As I walk closer, both men get to their feet.
“So happy you could join us,” Ace says. “Do you want coffee?”
I give a nod, and a server comes over. Ace makes sure she takes my order. It’s hard to fathom that the person sitting beside me is the same Ace I used to know in school. He appears softer, more compassionate, and thoughtful. “I was hoping you’d reconsider,” Ace says, grinning.
“Honestly, I’m still uncertain. But if I choose to go through with it, it’ll be for my son.”
“Alright,” Reg says, opening a folder. ”I received the papers this morning. It’s pretty straightforward, as you can see.” He slides the papers in front of me. “On the first page, you’ll find a list of demands. If you agree, you can sign on the second page. I assure you, the amount we’re offering is quite generous.”
As I wait for my coffee, I read the page. Right at the top, I see my name and my position - Band assistant. Below that, there’s a list outlining my duties.
When I see something I don”t understand, I pause and look up at Ace. “What exactly does it mean to be available when the band needs me?” I inquire.
Ace locks eyes with me and explains, “If Xander spirals, we’ll need you to help calm him down. Of course, there may be times when we can handle it on our own. But, given Xander”s recent behavior, we might need you in the beginning.”
I take a moment to think and then pose the question. “But what if in the end, I don”t make any difference to Xander and last night was just a one-time thing?”
“Poppy, trust me, if you hadn”t stepped in when Xander got all fired up last night, things would”ve gone terrible with the label. We would”ve lost everything. I’ve known Xander for most of my life and what I saw last night just confirms that you”re the only one who”s been able to get through to him in ages. He listens to you.”
“The next clause states you must not engage in any sexual activity with any of the band members,” Reg explains. “Break this rule and the contract is non-negotiable. You”ll be asked to leave with no payment.”
“You don’t have to worry about that?” I reassure Reg, looking directly at him.
“Alright,” he says, diverting his attention to the paper and flipping to the following page. ”Here”s the amount we”re willing to pay you for completing the task. If you”re happy with everything in this agreement, just sign on the line below.”
As I reach for the pen on the table, I steal a glance at Ace, who nods in approval. Two hundred thousand dollars. That’s the exact sum stated at the top of the contract. This amount has the power to transform our lives completely. A strange blend of excitement and worry wash over me as I sign my name. Thoughts of Xander still linger in my mind, but I remind myself to stay strong and keep my guard up against his charms, just as I did last night. Yes, I can do this.
Once I sign, Reg quickly gathers the papers and tucks them into his briefcase. As I reach for my coffee and take a sip, I continue to contemplate whether I have made the right decision. Yet, the idea of offering Alex a better life in a better home and neighborhood reassures me I am indeed on the right path.
”Here”s the cash you wanted,” Reg says, sliding the yellow envelope over to me.
”Thank you so much,” I say, happily accepting the envelope and tucking it away in my handbag. “This will totally help with the rent and cover some expenses for my son while I”m gone.”
“Right. Welcome to the tour,” Reg says, his hand outstretched towards me, but his tone leaves me uncertain if he truly wants me here.
With that, Reg stands up and makes his way toward the elevators, leaving Ace and me alone. It dawns on me that I’ve never really had a proper conversation with Ace before, and I can’t help but ponder what Xander might have shared about me with him throughout the years.
“Is your son gonna crash at your mom’s while you’re gone?”
“No, he’ll stay with someone else,’ I say, grabbing my coffee. “Hey, I forgot to ask, what date do we fly out?”
“October twenty-fourth. It’s two weeks away. I’ll text you the details about what time a car will pick you up for the airport.”
I nod as I put my cup back on the table.
“I have no idea what went down between you and Xander, he never told me. But I want you to know that if you need anything, don’t go to Reg. Come to me, Theo, or Nate. If you talk to Reg, it might go back to the label, so I”d prefer to handle it ourselves if we can.”
“Does Xander know what”s going on?”
“No. Xander has no clue. Maybe that’s a good thing,” he says as he gets up.
I down the last of my coffee and get up.
“I’ll be in touch, Poppy. I appreciate your help with this. Sorry to rush you, but we need to leave soon to catch our flight.”
I walk beside Ace as he leads me towards the glass doors. They slide open, and right before I take a step outside, Ace speaks up.
“Thanks again, Poppy, for doing this.”
I say nothing to Ace because I wasn’t doing it for them. I was doing it for myself and my son. It was our chance to have a better life. Nodding, I walk out of the hotel and make my way to my car.
The hotel parking attendant from earlier gives me a dirty look and keeps his eyes on me as I walk to my car.