44. Chapter Forty-Four
For the past two weeks, the walls of my house have felt suffocating. I know it’s too big for just one person, but that’s what you do when you have money and come from nothing. You splurge because you never want to go back to that.
Years ago, we stumbled upon a large block of land and decided to divide it, constructing three houses on that block. We never fenced off our houses, so the environment felt like a family estate for me and the rest of the band members. My house is positioned in the middle. It’s slightly smaller than Ace’s, which has a recording studio. Theo and Nate live on the other side of me. Each of us needs our own space, and we’ve agreed not to bring any chicks or groupies back to our sanctuary. This place is our haven, where we can be our true selves, flaws and all. Over time, our bond has strengthened to where we feel like a family, the four of us. Out of all of us, Nate was the lucky one who had a supportive family that pushed him to chase his dreams, and from what I’ve heard, his parents practically raised Theo. He used to live three doors down the street from Nate. I thought my childhood was tough growing up with an asshole of a father, but the night Theo opened up and shared his childhood experiences, it was nothing compared to what he went through.
I have more respect for Nate”s family after hearing that. I enjoy it when they come to visit. Even though they’ve been here only a few times in the last three years, his mom reminds me a lot of my mom in the way she takes care of her son. His dad is really funny, and I enjoy sitting and having a few beers with him. I haven’t met his younger sister yet, but from what I’ve heard, she’s following in her brother’s footsteps. Word has it she”s killer on the drums and determined to make a name for herself in the music scene.
Sitting on my couch in nothing but my sweatpants, I gaze at the white grand piano that takes up most of the room. I impulsively bought it when I moved into this place. It was a foolish decision to invest in an instrument that serves as nothing more than a dust collector. I suck at playing the damn thing.
Still today I have no fucking idea why I bought it in the first place. I”ve tinkered with it a few times and honestly thought I could teach myself to play, but man, the piano is a whole different ball game compared to a guitar. I think watching Poppy easily switch between the keyboard and guitar made me think I could do it too, but it never worked out. She”s super talented in that area compared to me.
Ever since I saw her the other night, I’ve been spiraling downward again. It”s a tough pill to swallow knowing she doesn’t want anything to do with me. And honestly, who can blame her after what I put her through. But what I love is she’s still that fiery girl I remember, the one with the sharp tongue who refuses to tolerate anyone’s shit.
I find myself absentmindedly soothing the pain in my chest, near the tattoo etched on my skin. I got it years ago and only Theo knows its significance. The music staff, embellished with music notes, wraps around a flower - a red poppy. In addition to the intricate design, there are also tiny inscriptions, but you need to get up close to read them.
I hide it away from the prying eyes of the media, ensuring its secrecy. I always make sure it remains out of sight. This tattoo serves as a reminder of what we used to have. How she carved her name into the depths of my heart, and it has never faded.
As the afternoon goes on, I try to distract myself. Tomorrow’s tour looms, so I pack. I play my guitar, jotting down additional lyrics in my old notebook. Despite my efforts, the loneliness persists, so I retreat to my oversized pool, immersing myself in its refreshing waters, praying it will bring me some peace.
By late afternoon, I’m back on the couch once again staring at the grand piano. The sound of my front door opening and closing catches my attention and I already anticipate who it is. Theo usually comes over at this time of the afternoon.
Theo gives me his usual smile as he comes into the room, holding two beers. “I gotta tell you something because I don’t want you blindsided when you find out,” he says, passing me a beer.
I twist the lid off my beer and toss the cap on the coffee table. ”What is it?” I ask, lifting the bottle to my mouth.
Theo plops down on the other couch next to me. “It is serious. I’ve only just found out. Well Nate found out when he was talking to Ace, but I just thought-”
“What the fuck Theo, just tell me,” I cut in.
“You’re not going to like it. Or you might. I’m not sure.”
“Seriously, just tell me already.”
He eyes me for a moment. “We’ve got someone joining us on the tour.”
”If it’s Lionel, I”ll fucking lose it,” I say, taking another drink of my beer.
Theo drinks his beer, then puts it on the coffee table before pulling out a joint and lighting it up. “Nah, it”s someone you know, someone you”ve mentioned a lot.” He leans forward to hand me the joint and I take a hit.
”Who?” I ask, blowing out smoke. I take another hit and pass it back.
”Spitfire,” says Theo.
My heart races and my stomach tightens. No, Theo’s just fucking with me like he always does. I stay silent and wait to see what he”s gonna say because none of it makes any sense. Why would she join us on tour?
I hear someone coming in through the front door, but I don”t take my eyes off Theo, trying to figure him out. He”s lacking that cocky grin that he usually wears when he wants to mess with me.
Nate enters the room and sits on the couch beside Theo. “So did you tell him?” Nate asks, reaching over and taking the joint from Theo.
”Yep,” answers Theo. “That’s why the fucker looks so stunned. He hasn”t said a word since I told him.”
“You’re fucking serious?” I ask, struggling to grasp the reality that this isn’t some kind of prank or elaborate setup. Knowing how serious Nate always is, I realize Theo’s telling me the truth. Throughout all our usual shenanigans and teasing banter, never once has Theo included Nate.
”Told ya he wouldn”t like it,” Nate says, passing the joint back to Theo.
Hearing Nate’s words only confirms my suspicion. That he knows about what happened between Poppy and me, including my feelings towards her. I can’t focus on that now, I’ll address that with Theo later.
I lean forward and put my empty beer bottle on the table in front. “Is it the label or Ace?” I ask, shifting my gaze between them.
‘Both,” Nate replies.
“Why the fuck would they ask Poppy to come along when they don’t even know her?” I get up off the couch, determined to get to the bottom of this. I can’t see her every day for eight weeks. I saw her for one night and it fucking wrecked me.
“Where are you going?” Nate yells, turning in his seat.
“To get some damn answers,” I spit out.
Footsteps sound behind me on the marble tiles and just as I’m about to open the door, a hand seizes my shoulder, forcing me to stop.
“Xander, hold the fuck up,” Nate says.
”What?” I ask, turning abruptly, desperate to go over to Ace’s house to find out what the hell is happening.
Theo stands further down the hall, watching.
”Don”t go over there like this,” Nate warns. “I”ll call Ace and tell him to come over so we can get to the bottom of it.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulder, guiding me back to the couch. On the way there, he pulls out his phone and calls Ace.
“Hey man, we’re hanging out at Xander’s. Can you pop over for a quick band meeting?”
I can hear the muffle of Ace’s voice, but I can’t hear what he is saying.
”Yeah, see you soon,” Nate says, ending the call and slipping the phone into his pocket.
“He”s on his way. Sit down and we’ll clear everything up.”
I nod and plop onto the couch, still fuming about the surprise that was set up behind my back. If it wasn”t for Theo and Nate dropping by to give me the lowdown, I would”ve been totally clueless.
Nate goes to my fridge, grabs a six-pack, and brings it over. Once he hands out the beers, he plops down next to Theo on the couch across from me.
“Just wait to see what he has to say,” Nate says, eyeing me. He can clearly see that I’m pissed.
“We didn’t want you to board that plane tomorrow and be caught off guard when you see Poppy there.”
”You know about Poppy?” I ask, giving Nate a look.
“Yeah, he knows. I already filled him in,” Theo chimes in.
”Chill out, I kept bugging him until he spilled about the girl at the bar. That”s why he told me,” Nate says.
The front door swings open and Ace comes in with a big ass smile, plopping down on the couch next to me. I resist the temptation to punch the asshole for hiding this shit from me.
”Hey, what”s up, fuckers?” Ace says, leaning in and grabbing a beer off the table.
“He’s in the loop,” says Theo.
The look on Ace”s face says it all when he meets my eyes. I glare at the jerk, feeling totally betrayed. Even though I never told him what happened between Poppy and me, he must have suspected something since he asked if we were hooking up.
”Which one of you spilled the secret?” Ace asks, turning to look at Nate.
”We both did,” Nate answers.
“Why?”
“Because he fucking needs to know this shit, Ace,” says Nate.
I can”t handle this conversation anymore, so I turn to look at him on the couch. “Seriously, when were you gonna give me a heads up, or did you just not fucking care?”
He doesn”t say anything, but his face tells me everything - he never intended to tell me any of this.
“Fuck you, man. I thought we were like family. Family doesn’t do shit like this to each other and you know it.”
“Seriously, Xander, what else am I supposed to do when you’re constantly fucking up?”
“Fucking up, you mean by your standards and the labels.”
“We’re going to lose our contract. There’s already talk about replacing you.”
I can tell by the expression on his face that he’s let something slip. This is news to me, once again left in the dark. What else is he hiding from me? Let those bastards even try to replace me. This is my fucking band. The band I created.
”Wait a second,” Nate cuts in. “What do you mean there’s talk of replacing Xander?”
Nate and Theo shoot Ace a death glare. Obviously, they had no clue what was happening.
Ace pauses for a second, scanning the group.
“Answer the fucking question, Ace,” Nate demands, his tone sharp and straight to the point.
“Lionel”s found two singers who he thinks can take over Xander”s role if he keeps causing trouble.”
I get up from the couch, so mad that my brother didn”t fill me in on any of this.
”So, you”re okay with that?” Theo asks, sounding just as annoyed as me.
“No, I’m not fucking okay with it.”
Nate gets up from the couch and towers over Ace, giving him an intense stare. ”Hey, asshole,” he says, his voice all loud and demanding. “Next time this shit comes up, you better tell Lionel or Reg, or whoever the fuck you”re talking to, if Xander goes, I”m gone too. No way am I letting another frontman join Broken Oasis. We joined this band because we loved hanging out and playing music. It was all about the lyrics Xander wrote and the music we made together. Now it”s all about kissing the label”s ass. We”ve totally lost ourselves because of them. Ace, it”s about time you stood up to the label and fought for what we want, instead of taking their fucking side.”
“It’s not that easy,” says Ace. “We could lose everything.”
“Yeah, so what?” Nate’s voice drips with anger. “Stop being a fucking pussy. Who cares if we lose our contract? We’ll just start our own damn label. What was the point of building that recording studio if we’re never gonna use it?”
Ace doesn’t even have time to answer Nate’s question before I butt in, because I’m dying to know. “Why is Poppy Reeves joining the tour?”
Nate and Theo quit staring at Ace and look over at me.
“I can tell you, but it will piss you off,” Ace says.
“I’m already pissed, so spill the beans or I’ll beat it out of you.” I move back over and take my seat on the couch.
Letting out a long sigh, Ace glances down at the beer bottle in his hands before answering. Nate sits in the lounge waiting to see what Ace has to say.
”We”ve been trying to get you to fall in line for years,” Ace admits, avoiding eye contact and staring at the bottle in his hands. “But that night, when your old man showed up at the event, you didn”t pay attention to Reg or me. You only stopped when Poppy told you.” Finally, he looks up. “We just figured if she was there, you might actually listen to someone.”
“You brought her along to keep me in line?”
”Yeah,” he says, looking down at the bottle.
I shake my head in disbelief, trying to process why. I admit I fucked up with the car accident, but everything else is not on me. “Tell her you don”t need her to come,” I add, getting up off the couch.
“It’s too late. The contract”s signed and she”s already in the hotel room.”
“Fuck!” I say as I start pacing. It”s gonna hurt to see Poppy every day, knowing how much she hates me. I turn around and head for the door.
‘Where are you going?” Theo shouts after me.
“Away from this fucking asshole,” I add, storming out and leaving them behind.
I head out to the backyard, take off my sweatpants, and dive into the pool, butt naked. I swim laps to calm down and find some peace. My mind won”t calm down. I keep obsessing about how I”ll handle the next eight weeks with Poppy. That night at the bar keeps replaying in my mind and it still bugs me.