Chapter 8
Katie
When I woke up the next morning, for a second there, I didn’t understand where I was. No wonder. It’s been too many years since I’d done this, five years in fact. This is literally the first time I had left Connor alone overnight.
How could you do this when you know how it would end? How it always ends? You suffered through hell and back once, and you jump right back in at the first smile and sweet word thrown your way??!
Ughhh! I want to hit myself right now, and if I wasn’t scared to wake Richard up, I would have screamed myself hoarse by now.
Did I make a mistake? I mean, of course I did, didn’t I?
Richard can’t be trusted. Sure, he seems more mature now, and he’s suddenly learned manners and all that.
But still, the person inside is the same, isn’t he?
That person hurt me more than anyone else has in my 30 years on this Earth.
That person should NOT be forgiven, for my sake, and certainly for Connor’s sake.
But if that was true, how did this even happen? What was yesterday? Why was it so easy to talk to him, to connect with him, when I’ve been struggling to connect with anyone, even my parents, for the past five years. Why him? Why is it always him?
And why did he tell me all those things about his dreams and his dysfunctional family?
It was easier when I remembered him as this two-dimensional devil who only liked chasing pleasure.
Now, he tells me there’s more to him than that?
How am I supposed to handle that? By sleeping with him, obviously, I thought sarcastically.
I silently sighed to myself. Yesterday was perfect.
It was just…magical. It was much better than I remembered, and we’ve always been explosive in the bedroom.
And it’s been so long since I’ve been with someone, and I just can’t begrudge myself this one small indulgence.
It’s been years of me just taking care of everyone around me with no time for myself.
It was nice to have someone else take care of me for a change.
It was nice to go out for something that wasn’t business related, or related to Connor. I felt like a real woman again.
And Richard has always been able to make me feel wanted, and yesterday, I felt that, and more.
I looked beside me at his sleeping visage.
He certainly is a vision to behold. His face looks like it was literally sculpted from stone.
I don’t know why he even finds me attractive.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate my body.
In fact, I love how I look, and I wouldn’t change it for all the money in the world, but I also know that men like Richard have a certain type, the leggy model type, and I’m not that.
So why he has this long-standing interest in me, I’ll never understand.
But that’s beside the point. If yesterday was any indication, he doesn’t want this to be a one-time thing.
And that’s not good. I clearly don’t have any self-defense against his charms, and if he asks me out again, I certainly wouldn’t be able to say no, and then where would that leave me?
Right where I was 5 years ago, vulnerable to get hurt.
Only this time, there’s Connor to think of too.
How long can I keep Richard out of my house, and life?
How long before he finds out about Connor?
What then? Would he run again? I mean, he’s probably mature enough to commit to a relationship now, but a readymade family? I doubt he’s ready for that.
And why does the thought of him running away again make my heart hurt so much?
Sure, I don’t want Connor to get hurt but he doesn’t even know about Richard yet.
The concept of ‘dad’ doesn’t exist in Connor’s life.
So, if Richard leaves, I don’t think it would bother my son all that much. So why am I so worried?
And that’s when it struck me. Oh my God.
Fuck! I’m just using Connor as an excuse to hide from the real reason I’m scared of Richard leaving me again, aren’t I?
I don’t want to get in too deep because if Richard disappears again, if he leaves me again, I can’t take it.
And deep down, I know that. I’ll completely break this time, and I can’t afford to break.
Here I thought I was keeping my distance from him the past six months.
I thought I was keeping my heart safe, that I was not stupid enough to fall for this man again.
But that’s exactly what I’d done. I was lying to myself all these months because it looks like the minute I walked into his office all those months ago, my heart was forfeit.
I fell for him, hook, line and sinker. Fuck! How stupid can I be? I love Richard. No. I’m in love with Richard, and I didn’t even realize it.
Oh my God, oh my God, what am I going to do?
This is a disaster. This can’t be happening.
I need to leave. Yes, that’s right. I literally need to run away from here and not look back.
Sure, my heart will break all over again, but I’d rather deal with that now than let my life get completely ruined a second time around.
I was on the verge of a panic attack, my thoughts racing a mile a minute, when Richard finally opened his eyes with a frown on his face.
When his eyes fell on me, his face literally transformed.
A huge smile broke out on his face, and right then, I forgot my thoughts of a few minutes back.
It was like I was not panicking at all, like I wasn’t thinking of literally running away without letting Richard know.
The minute I saw his smile, I couldn’t help but smile back. It was like all was right in the world again. And that’s when I knew I was truly fucked.
“Hey you, you’re up early”, he teased me.
Ah well, I can’t tell him that I have a small child and responsibilities that force me to get up at ungodly hours in the morning, now, could I? Of course not.
“Just admiring the view”, I teased back, and cringed inside. Ughh, it’s like I left my brain at home when I came on the date last night. But Richard seemed to be farther gone than I was because he literally blushed at my lame compliment.
Right then, my stomach decided to rumble, further pushing me into embarrassment land.
I want to bury myself in his soft rich-people sheets and never come back up.
He must have seen the look on my face because he laughed softly.
That didn’t help how I was feeling, and my glare at him effectively conveyed my feelings.
“Sorry”, he apologized, still smiling. “You haven’t changed a bit.
You still get hungry immediately after you wake up.
Just give me 15 minutes, and I’ll have my world-famous breakfast in front of you,” and with that, he was out of the bed and practically running toward the bathroom before I could let a word out.
God, that man. He hasn’t changed a bit. Still a bundle of energy. I just relaxed back in the bed, admiring the view of the naked Adonis walking away from me.
Just as he promised, 15 minutes later, Richard had eggs, bacon and pancakes ready to serve.
I was literally starving after my quick shower, so I couldn’t wait to gobble them up.
Man, I don’t know if they were world famous or not, but I remember his eggs being the most delicious I’ve ever had.
Even my mom can’t make them as fluffy and creamy as he can, and she’s a great cook.
And those pancakes….mmmm….they literally melt in your mouth.
It was bad enough that I just realized that I was still in love with the ex (and now my lover, I guess?) who brutally dumped my pregnant ass 5 years back, but now he’s making me mouth-watering food while I’m vulnerable?
Ahh man, he’s literally killing me. How can I resist him when he keeps doing things like this? !
No, that’s it. I need to get out of here. If I stay here for a few more minutes, I’ll probably end up proposing to him or something.
As if my mom heard my thoughts, I got a call from her. I could just kiss her right now. I’ll just take the call, fake an emergency and leave without any hard feelings. I can just ghost him after that.
But fate had different plans that day, because I didn’t have to fake an emergency at all.
“Hey mom”, I picked up, gesturing to Richard. He gave me the universal ‘Go ahead’ sign. “What’s up?”.
I expected her to tease me, to ask for details, to ask if I’d forgotten about her and her grandson now that I have a new/old beau, but she did none of that.
“Katie…”, she started, and I immediately knew she wasn’t calling me to tease me about not coming home last night.
Something had happened. “I didn’t want to call you.
I know you’re busy, but Connor has been running a fever since last night, and it’s just so relentless.
He started shivering a few minutes ago, and I’m worried.
I’m going to take him to the hospital. Can you meet me there? ”
And my world stood still. Oh my God. Here I was, having the time of my life, when my son was suffering from a high fever. And my mom didn’t call me because she didn’t want to disturb me? Fuck that! Nothing was more important than my son’s well-being, definitely not sex.
“What’s wrong with you mom? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?
”, I practically shouted and I could see Richard straightening up out of the corner of my eye.
He started gesturing towards me, obviously asking what happened, but I was too stressed and scared and livid at my mom to respond to him just then.
“I just wanted to give you some privacy, and I thought I could handle it…”, she trailed off in a soft voice.
I know I’m not being fair to her right now. She probably got no sleep all night, and she was doing me a favor, not the other way around, but I just couldn’t control my emotions just then. My worry for my son trumped any reasoning power I possess.
“That’s not for you to decide mom”, I shouted at her. “He’s my son. He’s my responsibility. If he’s sick, you call me, immediately. You don’t decide when to call. You just call!”, I finished.
I half expected my mom to shout back, but I guess she heard something in my voice that made her give me the leeway to be a brat to her right now.
“I know baby. I’m sorry. Can you come over now?”
And that was all it took to clear my head to see what I was doing. I felt so ashamed at how I reacted to her, and I immediately started apologizing.
“I’m sorry too mom…I just…”
“It’s okay”, she interrupted me. “Connor’s been asking for you. Come soon”, and she hung up.
I sighed. I guess I hurt her. I must make it up to her later.
I got up, ready to leave, and drive like a mad woman until I reached my son.
“Katie?”, a confused voice called out, and I finally remembered the second soul in the room.
Oh God, did Richard hear all that? In my panic, I didn’t realize he was right there. But I can’t worry about his reaction just then. My son needs me.
“I need to go Richard”, I told him and walked swiftly toward the front door again.
“You don’t have your car with you, remember?
”, he reminded me from behind. Why was he following me, I thought confused, and that’s when I remembered.
That’s right, Richard had his driver take my car to my house while he drove us both to his house.
One of the perks of being as rich as he is.
I’m stranded here. Ah well, I’ll just get an Uber, I thought, right when Richard said, “I’ll drive you”.
And I was panicking all over again, but for different reasons this time. He can’t drive me! He’ll see Connor, and everything will go to shit. I can’t let that happen.
“No, I’ll get an Uber”, I told him without looking him in the eye. I was afraid of what I would see if I looked up.
“I insist.”
“No, it’s okay”, I repeated again, and practically ran out the door.
I half expected him to follow me out and demand an explanation.
He obviously heard my conversation, and he must know now that I have a small son.
He must have a lot of questions, but to my surprise, he didn’t follow me out. He didn’t even call after me again.
I quickly got an Uber and anxiously twiddled my thumbs while I was driven to the hospital.
I couldn’t rest until I saw my son. An hour later, he’d been checked out by the doctor.
It was just the flu, he said. Plenty of liquids and rest and he’ll be good as new.
My mom and I breathed a huge sigh of relief.
I carried Connor out of the doctor’s office when I bumped into a familiar wide chest.
“Sorry”, I automatically apologized before I realized who was standing before me.
Richard was here, in the hospital, and he was taking in the sight of me holding my sleeping son in my arms. My mom gasped. She’s seen photos of him, so she knew who was before her.
“I think we need to talk Katie”, Richard said in a calm voice, and I’ve never been so scared my whole life.
Oh God, what’s going to happen now?