Chapter Twenty-seven
Jack kept glancing in the rearview mirror, half expecting Ellie’s car to peel off from following him and disappear.
Not that he didn’t trust her—or the soul-baring intensity of the conversation they’d had meandering the grounds of Hampstead House.
He simply didn’t think of himself as one of those people who got exactly what he wanted.
At least not when it came to relationships.
Of course, he’d never wanted a woman the way he wanted Ellie. In his bed, obviously, but in his heart and his mind. In his life.
He chuckled as he pulled into his driveway and cut the engine, Ellie right behind him. Logan and Maddie were going to have a field day.
Inside, Dot and Sophia all but ignored him, doing their geriatric version of a happy dance around Ellie’s feet. He couldn’t blame them. His insides were doing a happy dance of their own.
“Can I get you something to drink?” he asked. “Have you eaten today?”
Ellie looked up from the pets and belly rubs she continued to dole out. “You’ll be pleased to know that I eat my feelings rather than skip meals. I had breakfast at my apartment and then a massive Italian sub after visiting my mom.”
He was glad she ate, if not for the underlying stress that fueled it. “Does that mean I can or can’t interest you in dinner?”
“Oh, definitely dinner. Nothing fancy, though. And wine. Please. Between my mother and having to watch Bea hit on you, I need one.”
“She wasn’t hitting on me,” he said instinctively, then realized it was a blatant lie. “Okay, maybe she was, but I’m not even a little bit interested.”
Ellie smirked. “Too rich or too toppy?”
It was a no-win question, but seeing Ellie back to herself—or close to—made it impossible to care. “Neither and both. How would you feel about grilled salmon on a spring salad? And a glass of zin?”
Her smile softened. “I’d feel like the luckiest girl in the world.”
“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.” He poured them each a glass of wine, bringing hers to the sofa where she’d settled and heading back to the kitchen to prep dinner.
It took longer to preheat the grill than it did to cook the salmon, which was one of the reasons it was a go-to for him.
The salad didn’t take much more effort, and he’d taken to keeping the crostini crisps Grumpy Old Goat sourced from a bakery in Amherst on hand.
It all came together in about twenty minutes.
Jack came in from the grill to find Ellie clutching her glass of wine with both hands and a vacant look on her face. He joined her on the sofa and put a hand on her knee. “You okay?”
“Huh? Oh. Yes. Sorry.” She blinked at him a few times and smiled. “Zoned out there for a second.”
“You’re entitled. It’s been an intense day.”
“I guess so.” She laughed. “I feel like I’ve run a marathon.”
“An emotional marathon for sure.” It made him wonder if she’d ever unloaded as much as she had with him today. She’d mentioned confiding in Rhett, but they’d been friends so long, she’d probably been around for at least some of what Ellie shared in real time.
“Just as freaking exhausting.” She rolled her eyes. “Still. Didn’t mean to space on you.”
“I really don’t mind. I was coming in to say dinner is ready.”
Ellie let out a big sigh. “You’re so freaking sweet to me.”
He couldn’t decide if he should take that as a compliment or feel offended that her bar for being taken care of was so low. “Thank you for letting me. And I promise I’ll let you return the favor when I’ve been put through the wringer.”
She nodded, suddenly serious. “I’d like that.”
They ate in companionable silence, and Jack got the sense they both could use the quiet. After, Ellie asked if they could put on a movie and cuddle. Given everything, the simple prospect of physical closeness sounded like the best idea ever.
He put on an old Hepburn and Tracy rom-com that Ellie had mentioned liking. Ellie curled against him and seemed to melt into his arms. Not that she hadn’t relaxed around him before, but this was different. Deeper. She got quiet, and enough minutes ticked by that he figured she’d fallen asleep.
“Do you want to meet my mom?” Her voice was soft but fully alert.
“Of course I do.” He reminded himself not to be frustrated that she felt the need to ask.
“She’s not going to be like your parents.”
He had no illusions about how hard he’d lucked out in the family department. “She’s your mom, which means she’s a part of you. And if she’s someone you’ve decided deserves a place in your life, then I want to spend time with her.”
Ellie nodded against his chest. “Okay.”
“As much or as little as you want, okay? The point is to share, not feel like you’ve got more piled on your plate.”
She lifted her head and looked him in the eye. “I know.”
Jack kissed her. “Good.”
“So, I know my timing is really weird, but…”
When she didn’t finish, Jack braced for something bad. “But we just agreed to talk about stuff, so it doesn’t matter if the timing is weird.”
“Right.” She nodded, suddenly serious. “The thing is, I love you.”
He waited a beat, then another. Waiting for the but or the caveat or the whatever else would water down the intensity of those three little words.
Ellie cringed. “So, yeah. No pressure to do anything or say it back, but after everything else today, not saying it was making me feel like a fraud.”
“I’m glad you told me. I want to know.” He took a deep breath. “I love you, too.”
She shook her head. “Please don’t feel like you have to say that just because I did.”
“I don’t. If you could see how fast my heart is beating, you’d know that.”
“Really?” She looked genuinely surprised.
“For all my big talk, I’ve held back saying it. Not because I didn’t feel it but because I wasn’t sure how things were going to go. It didn’t feel fair to put it on the table while you were deciding whether or not you were going to give me a chance.”
She chuckled. “It might have moved things along a little faster.”
“Okay, fair. Maybe I didn’t want to own it when it felt like there was a very good chance you were going to walk away.” He hadn’t wanted to admit how terrified he was that would be the outcome—not even to himself.
“We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?”
He normally resisted sayings like that because they sounded so cliché.
But between his gruff exterior and her easygoing personality, his squishy middle and her tightly guarded one, it felt more than apt.
And as unlikely as it might have seemed in the beginning, he couldn’t imagine finding someone he wanted to spend his life with more. “Indeed we are.”
* * *
Despite the exhaustion of the day, saying “I love you” to Jack—and hearing it back—gave Ellie a second wind. And maybe a third. They’d barely made it halfway through the movie before she was asking him to take her to bed, where they proceeded to keep each other up half the night.
Fortunately, neither of them had anywhere to be and the dogs let them sleep until quarter of nine.
It was lazy in the most luxurious way and utterly satisfying.
As was the first cup of coffee Jack brought her in bed, the second cup she sipped while Jack made French toast, and the third he poured her to go with breakfast.
She couldn’t remember a time she felt more spoiled and had already started concocting ways she might show her appreciation. Blow jobs sat pretty high on the list, but she was pretty sure she enjoyed them almost as much as Jack did, so they didn’t really count.
“Should I be worried about that extremely serious look on your face?” he asked in between bites.
“Of course not.” Ellie smiled, feeling a little silly for how much thought she was putting into it.
Jack drummed his fingers on the table and looked uncomfortable.
“I swear.” She lifted her chin. “What about you? You look pretty serious yourself.”
“How do you feel about weddings?”
She pressed her lips together, wanting to appear neither surprised nor amused. “My own or in general?”
His eyes went wide. “In general. Going to them, I mean. As a guest.”
She hadn’t meant to tease him, but at this point it was too easy to resist. And she genuinely felt lighter than she had in as long as she could remember. “I enjoy them a great deal. Declarations of love, hopefully good music, and an open bar. What’s not to like?”
“I don’t have anything against love and good drinks, but you know. So many people. And dancing.” Jack shuddered.
“Was that a test, then? Did I fail?”
He had the grace to laugh. “No. Sorry. I just, well, my uncle is getting married in a few weeks and I need a date. I mean, I don’t need one, but it would be nice to have one. Not anyone. You. It would be nice to go with you.”
He was obviously uncomfortable, and it felt almost mean to continue poking fun, but did he have to make it so damn easy? “Date to a wedding, huh? That is serious business.”
Jack’s shoulders dropped, and he suddenly resembled a pouty little boy. “It’s not serious.”
She clicked her tongue. “Of course it is. All that talk of having and holding ’til death do you part.”
He scowled. “I can’t decide if I’m supposed to argue that it’s not a big deal or admit that I see how it could be but ask that you don’t read too much into it or…”
When he didn’t continue, Ellie ventured, “Say you changed your mind and rescind the invitation?”
“Yes. No. I mean no. I don’t want to rescind.”
“Because?” She had a feeling he could take the teasing. More, that he’d respect her for it in the long run.
“Because I want you to be my date.”
She hadn’t actually meant anything by it, but now that he was filling in the details, it was starting to feel like maybe a big deal after all.
“Okay, note for future dealings with women. The right answer is, ‘I think we’d have fun together and I trust we won’t get bogged down in the wedding-ness of it. ’”
“Wedding-ness?”
Ellie lifted a finger. “Note number two. Do not critique a woman’s word choice when you’re asking her to do you a favor.”
Jack scrubbed both hands over his face and through his hair.
He was so damn cute when he was flustered. Since she knew better than to say that out loud, she gave his forearm a squeeze. “Sorry. I don’t know why I’m giving you a hard time.”
“It’s in your nature.” Jack closed one eye and gave her a sideways look. “And it was kind of funny.”
“You weren’t laughing a minute ago.”
He opened both eyes and rolled them. “Yeah, but that’s because I’m mucking it all up.”
“You didn’t muck anything up. I was being weird, and I’m sorry.”
“Sorry enough to say yes?” he asked.
“I would have said yes either way.”
He smirked then. “Do I get to cash that sorry in for something else?”
“Sorries have no cash value.” She straightened her shoulders, feigning haughtiness.
“Yeah. It would be gross if they did.”
God, he was so damn earnest. “But you’ve been such a good sport, I feel like it’s only fair to do something nice for you.”
Jack folded his arms and leaned back in his chair. Like he’d just won something or suddenly realized he had the upper hand.
“What?” she asked.
“Maybe you could do another striptease, and we could call it even.”
She’d been so busy feeling like a jerk, she’d walked right into that. But despite being caught off guard, she loved everything about it. “I think that could be arranged.”
Jack nodded slowly, but his expression turned serious once more. “To tell you the truth, there’s something I’d like even more than you dancing around and taking your clothes off just for me.”
Ellie waggled her eyebrows. “Ooh, kinky.”
Jack closed his eyes, and she regretted being glib. But when he opened them, he looked at her with an intensity that took her breath away. “Not that there aren’t about a thousand things I’d still like to do with and to your body, but that’s not what I meant.”
Hyperbole or no, her body responded in full force. She tried to speak and failed, then cleared her throat. “What did you mean?”
His expression softened, but somehow the intensity remained. “What I meant was I’d like it if maybe you did get caught up in the wedding-ness.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah. Like, not expect a proposal next week level of caught up, but maybe let me know you’d be open to considering that sort of arrangement eventually.”
Ellie’s heart flipped in her chest. It probably shouldn’t be a surprise that Jack would be the one to be looking ahead, the one to broach the idea of taking things to the next level. But it was. A wonderful and glorious—if ever so slightly intimidating—surprise. “I’d definitely be open to that.”
He narrowed his eyes slightly. “In general or with me?”
Not a phrase she expected to have turned back on her. And certainly not like that. But again, how glorious. “In general.” She waited a beat. “But especially with you.”
Jack’s smile started slow, but it crept all the way to his eyes. “I’ll take it.”