21. Vera
Vera
Starke looked up at me from behind the desk in the captain’s cabin, his jaw twitching in irritation. “I don’t want to have this argument again, Vera.”
I slammed my hand on his desk. “Why are you being so difficult?”
He crossed his arms. “Because you’re asking me to abandon my job and go hunt a nonexistent kingdom guarded by something that wants to kill anyone trying to find it.”
I rolled my lips. “I don’t see the problem.” When he continued to stare at me, I sighed. We’d been arguing for a day, ever since we left Shipwreck Cove. My chances of chasing this new lead became more and more distant with each mile we sailed.
He was right. He and his crew had jobs, had lives, and it was irresponsible to go after this legend. I was the hotheaded, spontaneous one who dove in without thinking, while Starke was always so logical, just like—
I swallowed down the sudden image of Everett and met Starke’s glare.
“Look, I’m running out of time,” I said.
I paced in front of his desk, anxious energy making my feet move of their own accord.
“If everything Odessa said is true, the kingdom will rise on the spring equinox. That’s in three days.
I have to start looking for it now. I can’t ask you and your crew to come with me again, so if you’ll just leave me back at Shipwreck Cove, I can find passage on another—”
“Vera, listen to yourself. I’m not going to let you run around Blackwake on your own.” He shook his head. “You’ve been going nonstop for a year, hitting dead end after dead end. This is just another one. You’re going to run yourself into the ground if you don’t rest.”
I stopped moving, muscles clenched. “I can’t rest, Starke,” I snapped. “Don’t you understand? I need this to be over.”
“Alright, alright.” He held his hands up in a placating gesture, then slowly lowered them. “But then what happens?”
I blinked. “I…” I trailed off, brow furrowing.
He grabbed a bottle of rum from a drawer in his desk and pulled the top off. He wouldn’t look at me as he poured two glasses and asked, “When you find Mortep, when you finally get your vengeance. Then what?”
Then what?
Then what?
My mind stuttered. I hadn’t let myself think that far. There was only this. The hunt, the chase, the thrill. The escape.
Dual-toned eyes appeared in my vision, and I shoved them away. Everett had been my “after.” But then he was rescued, and I was left behind. That was the day I lost any hope for a future, and when I’d been unexpectedly granted one, I didn’t know what to do with it.
“I don’t know,” I said, taking the cup Starke offered me. “Maybe…travel.”
Starke didn’t let go of the cup. His fingers hovered over mine until my gaze snapped up to his. “Why don’t you stay?” His words were quiet, almost indiscernible.
“Stay…where?”
He cleared his throat, then set his cup down. Taking my free hand in his, he rubbed his thumb along the underside of my wrist. “With me, Vera.”
My stomach fell. The office was suddenly sweltering, an uncomfortable warmth pressing against my ribs. Maybe he didn’t mean what I thought he meant. Maybe he just wanted me to stay on as part of the crew, or be an apprentice to take over his salvaging business one day, or—
When he stepped even closer and laced his fingers with mine, I sucked in a breath.
Fates, I was so stupid. I should’ve seen this coming.
His lingering stares, his excuses to touch me, his inability to say no to anything I asked.
Had I been so blinded by my own desires that I took advantage of his?
I would never want to hurt him. What we had was good.
It worked. But if he wanted anything more…
I couldn’t give more. Not to myself, not to him, not to anyone.
“Starke…” I gently squeezed his hand and tried to pull away, but he held fast.
“We make a good team, V,” he insisted. “Haven’t you ever wondered if there’s something more between us than this?”
I licked my lips, panic rising at his touch. “Please, don’t do this,” I whispered.
His grip tightened, blue eyes deepening. “You must know how much I care about you.”
“And I care about you, Starke.” I finally extricated myself from his grasp. “As a friend. Which is why I don’t want anything to change.”
“Maybe not right now. I know you won’t rest until you find Mortep.
But you need a life, Vera. You need something to live for when all of this is over.
” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, and the contact sent shivers of discomfort rolling down my neck.
“I think…I think I could help you find that, if you’d only give me a chance.
If you’d picture a future after this absurd pursuit. ”
The strained tension snapped. “Absurd?”
He sighed. “That’s not what I—”
“No, that's exactly what you meant.” I moved to the side, forcing him to step backward. “I know this doesn’t make sense to anyone else, but after everything I’ve told you, I thought you’d understand.
I need this, Starke.” My voice rose, shaking with both anger and hurt.
“This isn’t some—some absurd chase. This is the only thing that wakes me up in the morning. The only reason to keep trying at all.”
He reached for me again, but I flinched, ignoring his attempts to stop me as I turned toward the door. “Vera, please,” he called. “Let me—”
The door slammed open, and Karye burst through. “We’ve spotted something, Captain,” she said breathlessly. “An approaching ship.”
Awkwardness still hung in the air, but the news seemed to bring Starke to his senses. “Friendly or not?” he asked quickly.
“Unclear,” Karye responded. “We sounded a horn salute, but they didn’t return one.”
Starke’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. With one last glance at me, he nodded to her. “Fine. Let me see.”
He strode after Karye, and I followed close behind. I expected sunlight when we stepped onto the quarterdeck, but the skies had darkened considerably since morning. Thick clouds loomed overhead, gray and heavy. A flash of lightning streaked in the distance.
Sure enough, an unfamiliar ship sailed the foggy blue waters on our starboard side. It was close enough that I could see small figures dotting its deck. Its hull was badly damaged, its sail so tattered I couldn't make out a crest.
“Load the cannons,” Starke instructed Karye. “We’ll fire a warning shot. See if they change course or answer.”
“Yessir.” Karye tipped her head, then barked the command at the crew.
I cleared my throat. “Do you really think they’d—”
“Go below deck, Vera.”
My mouth snapped shut. “Excuse me?”
He averted his eyes. “Go back to my office,” he repeated. “This could turn hostile.”
I scoffed. “And leave the rest of you to—”
“Don’t argue with me.” A clap of thunder accentuated his command.
He stepped closer, nose only a few inches from mine.
His eyes were heated, both with anger and something else.
“You’ve made it perfectly clear you don’t envision a future with me,” he bit out, “but I still intend for you to have one. Get to my office, now.”
My nostrils flared as I met his challenging stare. But when the other crewmembers noticed our standoff, I forced myself to take a deep breath. I didn’t want to cause a scene here. With one last glance at the approaching ship, I spun on my heels and marched back through the cabin doors.