27. Vera
Vera
FIVE AND A HALF YEARS AGO
Iburied my face in my hands, kneading my forehead with the heel of my palm to try and dispel the pounding headache.
“Again,” Mortep commanded. He took another syringe from the cabinet across from me.
His gray cloak brushed the floor, the hem stained dull brown from mud, blood, and Fates only knew what else.
Torches lining the laboratory wall cast shadows over the room, landing in the center where I was strapped to a chair.
With a deep sigh, Mortep said, “I hoped we would have made some progress by now.” He flicked the syringe with his finger, and the magical concoction changed color from purple to red. “But it appears that’s not the case.”
“Then why bother?” I asked through gritted teeth.
“Because you continue to be a mystery, and Lord Scarven and I do not care for mysteries.” His near-white eyes held mine as he brought the needle tip to my arm. I writhed against my restraints, but as usual, they were locked down tight.
“We know you have great power,” he said softly. “But I believe there is more. The final two magics. If we can unlock them inside of you, my little bird, that would change everything.”
He was convinced the powers of Alchemy and striding—the only two I hadn’t manifested yet—lay dormant in my blood, and had been attempting to “complete” my magic for months now.
If it was true, it would make me more than an anomaly.
It would make me a weapon. And it would make them do everything in their power to ensure I never escaped their hold.
The scariest part was…I knew he was right. Those two magics did live inside me, waiting to show themselves. I would feel them sometimes, in the faintest corners of my mind where the magic-dampening cuffs didn’t reach.
And that terrified me.
I couldn’t give in. I refused to give these men what they wanted.
That was why I made sure Mortep couldn’t access my powers, no matter what he did.
A small piece of metal I clawed from my cuffs was tucked away under my tongue, stifling any magic he attempted to force out of me.
I knew in my gut it was the only thing keeping those final two magics from creeping out.
But every day…every day, I feared I wouldn’t be able to hold him off any longer.
He had tried many tactics over the months. Pain, fear, chemicals, starvation, extreme temperatures, the list goes on. His latest idea was the most invasive. He put me to sleep, then used his dreamwalking ability from his Illusionist half to root around my subconscious for answers.
Mortep plunged the serum into my arm. As the sleeping potion coursed through my system, I tried to fight the drowsiness.
I steeled my mind for what came next, erecting the walls I’d built so he couldn’t get through to my dreams. This was all I had left.
The final piece of me, the last fragment they couldn’t control.
Mortep lifted a bundle of herbs to his lips, then touched my forehead with the tips of his fingers. Against my will, my body relaxed into the chair. “Somnius,” he muttered.
His spell washed over me as sleep dragged me under. My vision blurred, and the torches smeared into ribbons of orange.
I fell.
And I fell.
And I fell.
I hit the ground of my subconscious with a jolt.
I was in a long, gray, endless stretch of land, with half-formed walls on the sides and a shifting, navy sky overhead.
Lightning flashed in the distance. Stone tiles appeared at my feet as I stepped forward, forging a new corridor right before my eyes.
Doors materialized on either side of me.
Some were strong, tall oak doors, with gleaming brass handles.
Some were cracked and cut off at the top, their jagged edges sharp enough to slice.
Others still were made of iron and crisscrossed with steel chains.
I swallowed hard and cleared my mind. The half-formed walls surrounding me built higher and higher, as if invisible hands were laying more bricks until it towered above me.
“What do you see, Vera?” Mortep’s disembodied voice echoed around me. “What door are you drawn to?”
This was always how it went. He used his magic to control me in these dream states.
Even now, his words pulled my muscles, tugging me forward.
As I stumbled several steps, a door to my left creaked open unbidden.
I saw glimpses of a lanky teenage boy with dirty-blond hair swinging a little girl by the arms. My brother’s smile made my heart ache.
I hadn’t seen him in a year and a half, and I couldn’t remember the sound of his laugh.
Another door, this one on the other side of the hall, swung ajar when I glanced at it. Mother and I sat by a fountain on Scarven’s property, and she read me a fairytale from a leatherbound book. My mind relaxed at the sound of her voice, the memories tightening around my chest like a blanket.
But then they got darker.
One of the thick, cracked doors flew open as I approached, revealing the image of me from a year and a half ago, thrashing in a chair.
One of Scarven’s lion-masked guards held a needle to my skin.
My screams collided with the lightning, and the guard suddenly backed away from the chair with a look of horror.
It was the reason they captured me: the first time I conjured an illusion.
“Ah, now we’re getting somewhere,” Mortep crooned. I whirled around, but he was nowhere to be found. A chuckle floated around my ears. “Keep going, little bird. Your magic is in here.”
An invisible force pulled my feet, but I resisted. I shoved the walls higher, thicker, imagining the clouds above becoming steel. I envisioned chains and locks, every part of myself closing down.
Mortep’s voice flared again, frustrated this time. “I grow tired of this, Vera. You can’t fight me forever.”
“Watch me,” I grunted.
Anger washed over me, but it wasn’t mine. Something pushed the backs of my knees, making me trip. The corridor buckled as the dark blue sky turned black. Lightning blazed against the inky darkness, and when it did, Mortep’s silhouette emerged in the sky.
I staggered back. The floor shifted under me like the stones were breaking apart and crumbling.
“Magic responds when you’re frightened,” he boomed. “When your defenses rise, so does the power I want. If you would simply let go, it will come.”
I shook my head frantically. “I won’t let you have it.”
“Oh, you will,” he said. “One way or another.”
Cracks spiderwebbed up the brick walls. The corridor flickered as all the doors groaned, begging to be opened.
I tried to run, but the floor kept sliding.
Darkness encompassed me on all sides, and fear coated my tongue as I scrambled for something to grab on the cracked wall.
A door knob appeared right beneath my hand.
I grasped it, relief flooding me, and twisted.
Everything stopped.
My eyes slammed open. I glanced around in confusion, realizing I was back in my cell. The normal sounds and smells of reality clogged my senses. The familiar stone on my palm felt just as it always did, rough and cold. My heartbeats slowed. Had that all been a dream?
A different voice, one that instantly made my muscles relax, wafted over me. “You okay, Songbird?”
I put my hand to the wall. “I—I think so.”
“You were sleeping hard. I think you were having a nightmare. I tried to wake you up several times.”
I let out a breath. Just a dream. “I’m fine, Swift, I promise.”
“Good. I missed you.” I could hear the smile in his voice, and I smiled back.
“I missed you, too.”
But suddenly, the cell wavered.
“Hmm. Interesting.”
My blood froze. The walls of my cell dissolved, sending me flying back through the gray corridor.
Memories fractured around me. Swift’s stories, my songs, peanuts launched through a hole in the wall.
Falling asleep with my head leaning toward him.
Fingers pressed into the stone. Gray and green eyes.
I crashed into the ground.
“You have tried my patience, little bird. But do you know what I see?” Mortep hummed. Dread caught in my throat.
“Weakness.”
The walls exploded. I was thrown back into my body in the lab, choking on air. My restraints rattled as I thrashed. “What are you doing?” I bit out as Mortep released the chains from the chair, then dragged me to the door.
My temples beat like a drum as he marched me down the hall and to my cell. Ignoring my cries, he shoved me inside, attached my chains to the wall, and left without a word.
I spat out the piece of metal, then paced the floor with ragged breaths, trying to get a glimpse of Mortep as he retreated. What was going on? What was he planning?
“You okay, Songbird?” Swift’s voice came from the left.
I drew closer to the wall, thoughts spiraling. “Swift?”
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “What happened?”
I swallowed hard. How could I be sure this was real this time? “I don’t know. I don’t—”
Heavy footsteps clunked down the hall, echoing closer and closer until shadows appeared outside my cell. I sucked in a breath. They were coming back for my punishment.
But…the silhouettes didn’t stop at my cell.
Swift whispered through the wall. “Songbird? Are you—” Cell doors groaned open, but not mine. His.
“What are you doing?” Swift exclaimed. “Get that away from—” His voice cut off, followed by a loud thud. Hot, blazing terror curdled in my stomach. I threw myself against the wall, eye pressed to the hole to try and see what was going on.
A voice sounded from the front of my cell. “Curious thing, the mind,” Mortep said. I froze, then slowly turned to face him. “So very enlightening.”
“Please, just—just stop!” I begged. “He hasn’t done anything!”
“I may not have found the rest of your magic yet, but it wasn’t a complete loss,” Mortep said. My body went cold as I met his white, soulless eyes. “Now I know how to make the little bird sing.”
The spine-tingling sound of steel sparking against steel squealed in the air, then the screams began.
They ripped out of Swift, raw and guttural.
My heart hammered against my ribs as if it was trying to burst out of my chest. I was on my knees before I even realized I’d moved, crawling toward him to press my forehead against the stone.
“Please, stop!” I cried. “Don’t hurt him!”
This is your fault.
They’re doing this because of you. Because you wouldn’t give him what he wants.
Sobs wracked my chest as more screams echoed around me. I called on my magic, ignoring the searing pain that sparked from the cuffs. With a shriek of my own, I forced my Shifter half to the surface, my entire body trembling from the agony.
Phoenix flames erupted in the palms of my hands. They licked up my skin, burning a path up my arms and to my back. The cell lit with a blast of golden light. My wings shifted and stretched at my shoulder blades, the sharp, fiery tips coming into view as they wrapped around me.
I tried to incinerate the cuffs, but the stronger my magic got, the more crippling the pain became. Staggering to my knees, I gritted my teeth and fought through it, my vision going black at the edges.
“Let—him—go!” I shrieked, balls of shadows shooting from my fingertips.
They darted straight for Mortep, who merely cocked his head with a smile.
My shadows hit some invisible force field and ricocheted back to me, sending me flying into the wall.
My phoenix fire went out, and I crumpled to the floor.
My own scream faded, only to be replaced with Swift’s. There was a rattling noise, and then his cry morphed into a strangle that sounded like him gasping for breath.
That was what broke me.
Tears steamed down my face. “Stop,” I pleaded. I dragged myself toward Mortep. “Please, stop. Please. Take—take me instead.”
He crouched on the other side of the bars to peer at me. “You know how to make it stop.”
I swallowed, nearly choking on my own words. “Yes, yes—do whatever you want to me. I’ll give you my magic. Just don’t hurt him.”
He smiled, teeth gleaming, then rose to his feet. He tipped his head toward someone on the other side. Just like that, the screams stopped. I slumped to the ground, barely able to hold myself up.
Mortep tapped on the cell bars. “You’ll be a bit more compliant next time, won’t you, little bird?”
I gave a single nod, and my head sank lower. The guards chained Swift’s door shut once more, then stalked down the corridor and out of sight.
It was silent.
I squeezed my eyes shut, summoning the strength to crawl to the wall. I pulled myself up and leaned against it.
“Swift,” I whispered, voice shaking. “Swift, please—please be there. I—I can’t—”
I can’t, what? Bear the thought of him being gone? Listen to any more of his screams? Live with myself for causing him pain?
“I’m here,” he rasped.
I sobbed, pressing my palms into the wall as if I could feel him. “I’m so sorry,” I gasped out. “I’m—I’m so sorry, Swift. It’s my fault. He did it because of me. Because I wouldn’t do what he asked. I’m so—”
“Don’t apologize.” He coughed, then let out a grunt. “You can’t give him what he wants. That’s how they win.”
I slumped farther down the wall. “I have to. When it was just me, I didn’t care. But now, I—I can’t listen to him hurt you. I can’t—” My voice caught, and I took a breath. “I can’t stand it when you’re in pain.”
Mortep was right. He found my weakness. I would do anything he asked of me.
It was quiet again, and I thought Swift had passed out. Then I heard his exhale, right by the hole in the wall. “I’m still here,” he murmured. “It’s over, and I’m okay.”
I swallowed another sob. “For now. He’ll come back.”
“Promise me something,” he said.
“What?”
“Promise you won’t stop fighting.”
I took a breath. “Swift, I—”
“Listen to me. I heard what you said, when you told him to take you instead. You were going to give up.” He grunted in pain. “Don’t ever say that again. Don’t ever trade yourself. Not for me, not for anything.”
“But—”
“No,” he said. “I’d rather scream. I’d rather bleed. I’d rather he break every bone in my body than watch you offer yourself for me.”
I cupped my hands over my face, feeling hot tears surge down my cheeks.
“I can live with the pain,” he whispered. “But I can’t live with losing you. Songbird, I—” He cut himself off, and I thought he was going to say something else. Instead, he said, “Promise me. Don’t let your fear make you unable to fight.”
I shook my head, knowing he couldn’t see me, then took several deep breaths. I didn’t know when we had become this. When the thought of losing each other hurt worse than anything Mortep or Scarven could do to us. When his safety meant more to me than a lifetime spent in that laboratory chair.
But I needed him. Desperately. And now, Mortep knew, too.
“Okay,” I said on an exhale. “I—I promise.”