87. Vera
Vera
“Are you ready for this?” Everett asked, one hand gripping our bags while the other rested on the small of my back.
We exited the carriage and stood facing the entrance to the Keep, with its tall, stone towers silhouetted against the cloudy sky, the outline of the rocky cliffs right behind it, and the waves of the Sea of Scarab rolling in the background.
A second carriage with Tessa, Kieran, and Odessa pulled up behind us.
I took a breath. “It’s now or never.”
I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous. This was my family, after all.
They loved me unconditionally. But, still…
I hadn’t spoken to Mama or Nox since I left them last year.
Everett told me how much they missed me, but what about the resentment?
The anger and betrayal and sadness I was sure festered beneath the surface?
My muscles tightened as we neared the door, and Everett rubbed my back in reassuring circles. “Relax,” he said. “If your brother didn’t set me on fire when he found out we were together, then I’m sure you’ll be fine now.”
“Not helping,” I muttered back.
The Drakorum spring breeze whistled through my hair as I walked up the imposing path, the enormous building so tall that it blocked the sun. I exhaled, then lifted my hand to the silver door knocker.
Before I could touch it, the door burst open.
Navy eyes bored into mine. Nox’s dark blond hair ruffled around his face, his lips parting silently as he took me in. Neither of us spoke. Tension racked along my spine, a pit forming in my stomach as I swallowed down my guilt.
And then we both moved.
A strangled sound left me as Nox crushed me to his chest, stealing the breath from my lungs. I wrapped my arms around my big brother and buried my head against him.
“Noxy,” I whispered, clutching him tighter. “I’m so—”
“Don’t even say it,” he said gruffly, voice muffled in my hair. “You came home. That’s all I care about, Vera.”
My chest swelled, and tears rushed to the surface. I held them back with a sniff and said, “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you, too, little sister.”
“We all did,” a voice behind him said. Nox released me, and I glanced around to see Mama arm-in-arm with Devora, watery smiles on their faces. I rushed forward, no longer able to contain my tears as I flew into Mama’s arms.
“Welcome home, sweet girl,” she choked, her own tears dampening my neck.
“You made it,” Nox said, and I turned with my arm still around Mama to see him embracing Everett in a tight hug.
“And I owe you a ship,” Everett replied.
Nox pulled away with a raised eyebrow. “Wait, what’d you do to my ship?”
I half-laughed, half-sobbed as I flung my other arm around my brother’s neck. “Oh, we have a lot to catch up on, Noxy.”
We stayed up for hours with the Ashen Order, telling them of our adventures while Arowyn grumbled about not being there for the good stuff and Milo gasping at every close call.
When Tessa told him that his spell from last year had saved Everett’s life, his cheeks reddened with pride beneath his freckles.
“Did you really turn into a shadow wraith?” Devora asked Everett, shaking her head in disbelief.
“I did.” Everett smiled at me, and I leaned into his side, hiding my own pink cheeks. “But she brought me back.”
Arowyn made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat. “Great, first we have to deal with these two all over each other”—she motioned to Nox and Devora—“and now we have you.” She pointed to Everett and me, but then she smiled, her light blue eyes sparkling. “I’m glad you’re back, Vera.”
I grinned. “Me, too.”
Devora shifted to face Kieran and Odessa, who sat at the table in the center of the workshop. “Now, you have to tell me about this.” She wagged her finger between the two of them.
We all chuckled as Kieran grudgingly launched into their story. Odessa and I also told them how the two of us met and worked together, and our life back in the Triad Realm. The night flew by in the blink of an eye.
I had never felt so at peace. This was different from when I came home last year.
My past was still my past, but it no longer weighed me down.
I was Vera, the girl who knew she was loved, instead of Vera, the girl who needed vengeance.
It was as if I was seeing this life my friends had built through different eyes, and I desperately wanted it.
While Tessa, Devora, and Arowyn snuck into the kitchen to grab some midnight snacks, I made my way over to the couch, where Nox and Mama were sipping their drinks. I wedged myself in between the two of them and leaned my head on Mama’s shoulder. Nox put his arm around us on the back of the couch.
“Hey, Mama,” I whispered. “I have a question.”
“Yes, sweet girl?”
“Can you sing to me? The song you used to sing to us at night?”
“Of course.” She put a hand on my knee. “What brought this on?”
I cleared my throat. “I just…I wanted to hear it again.”
Nox pulled his arm back slightly to rub the back of my neck, giving silent comfort as if he could tell there was more to my request. But he didn’t say anything. We were both quiet as Mama started to hum, and then her voice joined in.
Close your eyes, little one,
The stars keep watch tonight.
The moon has pulled the tide in low,
The sea has hushed its song.
You’re safe here in the quiet dark,
With light inside your soul,
So rest now, little one,
And let the dreaming go.
The song stirred something achingly familiar in my chest. A tear trickled from the corner of my eye and fell to Mama’s shoulder.
She didn’t stop singing. She merely clasped my hand, holding tight.
When the final note faded, we sat in silence for a moment.
The others in the workshop chatted across the room in whispers, and from somewhere down the hall came Devora’s muffled laughter.
“I lost some memories,” I said quietly. “They were taken from me by magic. Things from when I was younger, with the three of us.” I looked up at Nox with a sad smile. “This song was one of them.”
“Oh, sweet girl. I’m so sorry,” Mama said in a hushed tone, kissing my temple. “I’ll sing it to you whenever you want. Until it’s yours again.”
We sat like that until my eyes grew heavy, and I fell asleep nestled between them.
It took a few days to get settled, but soon, everyone was back in the swing of things.
I forgot how fast-paced the Keep was. Children ran through the halls, jumping back and forth between the classes Everett and Devora had set up for them, and the staff was constantly working to keep everyone fed and the place clean.
I dipped my toes in a little bit of everything, at first—an hour here and there with Everett and the children; experimenting with spells in the workshop with Milo; and days at the other camps Tessa managed, where Mama and I got to see her mother.
Tessa was the spitting image of Evellyn Briar.
They shared the same rich, dark skin, the same brown eyes, the same full lips.
Tessa flitted around her mother’s room, chattering nonstop about nothing and everything as she folded sheets and rearranged knicknacks.
I could tell she was trying to keep her hands busy.
My mama sat by Evellyn’s bed, gently holding her hand.
“I never knew if I’d see her again,” Mama said.
Tessa went quiet, and her eyes fell to her mother with a shadowed expression.
“She was more than my lady’s maid. She was my best friend.
After their father died, she helped take care of my babies when I didn’t have the strength.
” Mama looked up at me. “When Scarven banished me from Drakorum, I lost track of Evellyn. I never knew she was…” She trailed off, brushing a thumb on the back of her friend’s hand.
Tessa padded over and tenderly lifted a wiry curl away from her mother’s face.
“She talked about your family a lot. I think she missed having little kids around.” Tessa sat down on the other side of the bed.
“I always wonder how much she can still hear and understand. If she knows everything turned out okay, in the end. For all of us.”
“I’m sure she does,” Mama said, eyes bright. “Just like I’m sure she knows you’re being taken care of, the way she took care of us all those years ago. You’ll always have a place in my family, Tessa.”
Tessa sniffed, then wiped her eyes. “Fates, I hate crying,” she said with a watery laugh. “You think Noxy boy would let me call him ‘big bro’?”
I chuckled. “You never know until you try.”
Tessa took a deep breath and grinned at us. “It means a lot that you both came.”
“Don’t mention it,” I said, returning her smile. “A wise woman once told me you don’t have to do this alone.”
She snorted, then paced around to where Mama and I sat and flung an arm over each of our shoulders. “She must be a very wise woman.”
“Very wise, and much older than me.”
She aggressively ruffled the top of my head. “Hey, respect your elders, young lady.” When our laughter subsided, she sighed and leaned her head against mine. “Thanks, Vera.”
I smiled. “Any time.”
The weeks that followed were the quietest I could remember.
Sure, the days were filled with loud children and laughter and sometimes more people than I could handle, but my mind was quiet.
I was learning the ways of this new life and picturing myself in it, instead of on the outside.
My favorite moments were when I’d walk through the Keep in the evening and pass one of the children’s bunk rooms where Everett read bedtime stories.
I’d watch him sit on the ground, with three or four kids sprawled around him, their heads drooping at his sides.
He would sometimes catch my eye and give me one of those soft, tired grins.
The kind that spoke of happiness through exhaustion.
Fulfillment. It made my heart burst every time.
After we’d been back in Drakorum for a month, Everett found me in the bedroom, standing at the balcony facing the sea.
I liked to watch the tide come in around sunset.
It reminded me of the times I spent on the stern deck, with the open sky and wide, endless waves.
A reassurance that there was nothing caging me anymore.
Everett’s arms snaked around my waist. “Do you miss it?” he asked.
“Miss what?”
“Being out there, on the water.”
I shrugged. “Sometimes. I got used to living on a ship.” I turned so I could face him, then tapped his nose. “But this is nice, too.”
He hummed. My breath hitched when he lowered a kiss to my lips, then my jaw and down my neck, tilting me backward so my hair flew in the wind and my eyes faced the sky. The clouds were nearly purple, with the dark pink and gold haze settling above them as the sun dipped lower.
“Well, I have a proposition for you,” he said, placing another kiss on the column of my throat.
I raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“What if we left?”
I straightened and pulled back, blinking in surprise. “What?”
“Not for good,” he amended. “Your brother would burn me to a crisp if I took you away again. Not to mention your mother.”
“Then what do you mean?”
He hesitated, giving me a sheepish smile. “There was a life we talked about in those cells. So many places we wanted to go together.” He drew me back in as he spoke. “Do you remember?”
“Some of it,” I said softly. “There was a river. The one your mother used to take you to, with all the flowers.”
“Yes, there’s that one,” he murmured. “But there’s also the beach. The first illusion I ever showed you was of the wide, open beach in Iluze, with sand between your toes and the sun shining on your face.”
“I want to remember that one,” I whispered.
That gap in my soul from the memories I lost still existed, but for the first time, I didn’t dwell on what had been taken. Instead, it gave me hope. A chance to fill the emptiness with light. A chance to live instead of merely survive.
“Then we better get started, sweetheart.” He placed his hands on my waist and lifted me on the balcony rail. I peered down at him, chest swelling at the look in those dual-toned eyes. “I hear the water is perfect this time of year.”