Chapter 34
Alyssia
“Are you sure you’re all right?” Mrs. Townsend discreetly asks as we pass the throngs of people waiting for the start of the race.
When I glance up at the grey clouds in the distance, a wave of unease forms in my stomach.
“It looks like it’s going to rain.” Right now, the sun is shining, but those clouds could put an end to sunshine quickly.
“May not be for a few hours,” Mrs. Townsend assures me.
She sounds relaxed, unfazed by it all. I try to follow her lead as we make our way toward the back entrance of the paddock to avoid cameras and news broadcasts positioned to catch the racers as they enter.
Travis has been here for a while, going over strategy with his team.
“Mom.” Annalise waves the three of us over as we enter the Amato racing garage. She came in with Travis. Tristan and Chloe are here also, though both are parked in the couch, laptops in their lap.
A part of me grows envious at how normal all of this is for them. I’m the only one who’s experiencing all of this for the first time, and it unsettles me.
Mainly because I’m probably the only one who doesn’t fully want to be here.
That’s not entirely true. Travis asked me to be here. The imploring look in his eyes when he asked paralyzed my tongue against refusing. I want to be here for him.
That is what I focus on instead of the rumbling, unease in my stomach.
Annalise kisses her parents in greeting before her eyes meet me.
“You came,” she says, turning to me, eyes bright.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I say, hoping it doesn’t sound like a lie.
“We’re all glad you’re here.” Her words sound genuine, which makes me grateful that I was able to push past my hesitation.
A beat later she’s off to take care of something that someone from the team asks of her.
“Hey.” Travis’ smooth voice comes up from behind me like a welcomed gust of wind on a summer day. I turn into the hold he already has around my waist. “You came.”
There’s a hint of surprise in his tone. Surprise and relief.
Guilt springs up in the place anxiousness has reigned since I woke up and remembered what day it is.
I brush my lips against his. “Of course I came.”
After I say this, I have to bite my tongue to keep from mentioning the dark clouds I saw as we entered the paddock.
“I’m glad.” He returns the kiss.
Looking into Travis’ eyes, I can tell it means a lot to him to have everyone here. My heart sighs.
I love this man.
There really could’ve been a better time for me to have this realization, but of course it’s now. Moments before he’s about to slide into a car and drive hundreds of miles an hour around winding roads.
My literal nightmare.
I push my selfish thoughts out of my brain and cup Travis’ face.
“Have a great race.” Even as my heart thumps against my ribs, I maintain eye contact.
He turns his head, kissing the inside of my palm. “I will now.” He reaches out and rubs my belly as if I’m a genie.
“For good luck.” He winks.
Seconds tick by until an eerie silence falls over the garage. This is the start of the race.
It’s as if a collective exhale takes place once the lights go out and the drivers are off. The garage gets really loud then, and I take to the stairs to go up to the second floor of the paddock.
A few people linger up here, talking, barely paying attention to the screens that sit on the side desk that’s attached to the wall.
Though my nerves are out of whack and fear keeps telling me to look away, I don’t.
At first, I can only maintain eye contact with one of the screens for a few seconds. My body tenses at each curve the cars take.
My heart races each time the cars pass by our side of the track, engines roaring.
After a couple of minutes of watching, and I turn to see Annalise entering the room. I immediately straighten my posture and try to pull myself together.
“Hey,” she says in a tentative voice. “Kinda boring, huh?” she asks, surprising me.
“Boring?”
She nods, then turns to the screen. “Yeah, I mean, they’re just circling around the roads over and over again. Gets tedious after a while.”
Boredom is the last thing I would’ve ever thought to describe what’s happening.
“Travis used to say he’d get so bored during a race that he’d start to sing to keep himself entertained.”
She says this with a straight face.
“I have the recordings if you want to hear it.”
“He has a terrible singing voice,” I say.
“I know,” she replies. “Drake was begging him to stop.”
We both laugh.
“He says you love racing,” I state, out of the blue. “You study it more than he does.”
Folding her arms, she looks at the screen. “I love motorsports and I know what it’s like to fear someone you love being on that track,” she says in a low voice before turning to me.
Her lips pull into a sympathetic smile.
A silence falls between us, at which time I turn my attention back to the screen. It’s a little easier to watch now.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asks, her voice growing serious. “Watching this.” She nods toward the screen.
It’s obvious she knows about the accident. But I’m not upset or mad; I appreciate the sympathy in her voice. I suspect that she came up here to check on me.
“No,” I sigh out. It feels good to be honest. “But I don’t want to look away either.” I raise my hands to my belly because somehow holding my baby like this helps me feel closer to Travis.
“You know, despite the way it looks, this sport is very safe.”
I nod, watching the screen. “I’m aware. Travis took me to the museum and explained all of the safety features.” I shrug.
“I’m sorry we haven’t gotten much time to talk or get to know one another,” she says after a beat of silence.
I smile. “I’d like for us to get to know one another. I don’t have many friends at all,” I admit after starting to say, ‘on this side of the world.’
“I apologize if you felt like I didn’t appreciate all that you did to help with my move from New York, by walking out on the apartment. When I first got to Monaco,” I clarify.
I’ve always felt guilty about that. While I didn’t appreciate what felt like Travis scheming to control my life, I now know Annalise thought she was helping me.
She gives me a sly grin. “Don’t worry about it. After I found out you had no idea the apartment was Travis’, I was rooting for you to give him a little hell. He’s spoiled.”
I chortle because she’s not wrong.
“Plus, I would’ve done the same thing myself.” She shrugs.
For the first time today, relief floods me. I like Annalise.
“I’m glad our baby will have you as an aunt.”
Her eyes immediately fall to my belly, softening.
I gasp as the baby kicks me in the ribs.
“What’s wrong?”
“N-Nothing. Just a baby kick.” Without thinking, I reach for her hand to place it on my lower belly.
She hesitates, a quick look of fear invading her eyes before she shakes her head. “Intrusive thought,” she explains, placing her hand on my belly.
“Oh my …” she says in awe, her eyes going wide and filling with tears. “Hi in there—”
Her talking to the baby is cut short when there’s a loud, all-too-familiar sound and a gasp that sweeps through the crowd right into the paddock.
“What was that?” I ask, although in my heart I already know.
Annalise turns back to the screen. “There was a crash … It’s Travis.”