Chapter 7
Chapter
Seven
It wasn't a no.
That was what Lion was holding onto.
The anger seemed to have bled out of Kate, and he was fairly positive she no longer hated him now that she knew the truth. But in its place was an awkwardness that hadn't been there before.
Things had never been awkward between them.
Not a single time since they met when she was five, and he was eleven.
The age gap had meant they weren't friends exactly, more like he’d seen her as another little sister.
He’d played with her and his sister sometimes, but more often than not, the girls played together, and he played with his own friends.
As they’d gotten older, he’d noticed that she had a crush on him, but she’d still been a kid in his mind. He’d liked her, sure, she was a good kid, and one who was sweet and funny, pleasant to spend time around. But there had been nothing sexual there on his end.
It wasn't until the summer after she graduated high school, when he returned from a deployment to find her dozing by the side of his family’s pool, dressed in a white bikini that was little more than scraps of material that barely covered everything, that things had changed.
That was the first time he’d seen her as an adult, as a woman.
Over a decade later, and he still remembered the groan he’d given as he’d immediately hardened at the sight of her laid out before him like a treat he couldn’t wait to devour.
Her eyes had blinked open in surprise and then heated when she saw him standing there.
Her tongue had peeped out, run along her bottom lip like an invitation, much the same way it had this morning.
And like this morning, he hadn't been able to resist.
One kiss, that was all they’d shared before he realized that if he took things any further, he could be ruining his relationship with his sister, and Kate’s friendship with his sister as well.
So he’d found strength he didn't think he possessed and pulled back. She’d been surprised and upset until he explained he wasn't going to have sex with her and then walk away.
That would be crazy and could ruin their relationships with the people they loved.
When he’d sat his sister down and told her he was unexpectedly attracted to her best friend, he’d expected her to be shocked, angry maybe, and tell him to stay away.
Instead, Lily had just rolled her eyes and told him it was about time he noticed her friend, and that maybe now she’d get to stop hearing from Kate how badly she wished something would happen between them.
Permission granted, he’d asked Kate out on a date, nothing more than kissing had happened on it, or any of the other dozen dates they’d gone on that summer. Instead, they talked, laughed, got to know one another as two adults rather than a kid and her best friend’s older brother.
Each day, he’d fallen a little harder, and over the next six months, that had turned into love.
Their first time together had been amazing, and a month later he’d proposed, knowing with a certainty that settled comfortably inside him, that this was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
Now, as he turned his head to watch Kate and Ariella stroll into the kitchen after she’d gone to get their daughter up from a nap, he realized nothing had changed for him.
He wanted her as badly as he had that day by the pool and every day since.
As badly as he had when he’d shattered her heart into a thousand pieces and then walked away and left her to pick them up all on her own.
Kate still wanted him too. That was obvious from the way her gaze found his, then just as quickly skittered away again. From the way her cheeks pinked, and that tongue of hers trailed along her lip.
Damn.
That was like a beacon calling him in.
But he couldn’t go to her, couldn’t kiss her like he wanted to, because right now she wasn't his.
The news he’d given her this morning was overwhelming, especially having it all dumped on her at once while already dealing with a sick and dying child.
It was no wonder she needed time to process, and he was also going to have to admit that she might never get to a place where she wanted to rekindle their past relationship.
They had been a couple for ten months, apart for ten years. The math was not in his favor.
“Daddy,” Ariella exclaimed, rushing over to wrap her thin arms around his waist.
“Hey, Ari-Bear. Did you have a good nap?”
“Mmhmm,” she agreed. “But now I'm starving.”
After their talk in the forest this morning, he and Kate had sat out there until the sun began to rise, then headed back to the house, arriving just before Ariella woke up.
Kate had been softer with Voodoo this time.
That fear that had been there when they left him and Indigo with a sleeping Ariella had disappeared now that she understood what had happened to them.
All thirteen of them had had breakfast together, then Kate and Ariella had spent a few hours homeschooling before they had lunch, and Ariella went for a nap.
It killed him to see his vibrant little girl get tired so easily.
Nine-year-olds didn't need naps, and yet it was clear his daughter couldn’t make it more than a few hours before she needed some sleep to recharge.
“We can do a snack,” he said, mentally scanning the cupboards to see what they had. “What's the plan for the afternoon?” he asked Kate.
“No plans. Ariella’s done with school for the day, so she can do whatever she wants this afternoon,” Kate replied.
“Can we play, Dad? Me and you?” Ariella asked.
“Course we can,” he answered, this time not seeking out Kate first to gain her permission. She’d told him that whatever happened—or didn't happen—between them, he was Ariella’s father and she had no problem with them spending time together and getting to know one another.
What happened if the transplant worked and his daughter got better, he wasn't sure. He wasn’t ready to ask and maybe hear an answer he didn't want. Kate didn't know if she wanted to get back together with him, and he’d never try to separate her and their daughter. But he also couldn’t just leave here.
Even aside from the fact that River Gardner might be a threat, he wasn't safe to live around regular people.
Not a monster, but still not completely normal either.
“Can we make Oreo lumps of coal?” Ariella asked, her blue eyes lighting up with excitement.
“Oreo lumps of coal?”
“Just Oreo balls. Crushed cookies with cream cheese covered in chocolate,” Kate explained. “We usually only make them for Christmas, hence the name, but lately Ariella keeps asking to make them.”
“They’re my favorite,” Ariella piped up.
Which was why Kate hadn't denied her. Why he wouldn't deny her. How could you deprive a dying little girl of anything that brought her joy?
It was clear from the way Kate’s eyes misted that she was afraid her daughter wouldn't make it to Christmas, and that they’d never get the chance to share one of their traditions again.
Making the most of the time they had was all they could do right now.
That and pray for a miracle, hoping he was a match and the transplant would work.
“Pretty sure we have everything we need to make them,” he assured his daughter. “Why don’t we get started?”
“I get to smash the cookies,” Ariella said immediately, still a little girl at heart even if her condition had forced her to grow up much quicker than other children her age.
“We usually use a rolling pin rather than a blender, more fun that way,” Kate told him as she drifted over to the table.
“Rolling pin it is. That does sound like much more fun,” he said with a wink that made Ariella giggle.
“One time, I was rolling the cookies. They were in a paper bag, and I rolled too hard, or the bag was too weak, and it popped, and cookie crumbs went everywhere,” Ariella said with another giggle.
“It made such a huge mess, and I was sad because I thought we didn't have any more cookies, but Mom had more and we cleaned up and then started over.”
“Cookie crumbs can make a huge mess,” he agreed as he located the packs of Oreos in the pantry, along with some cooking chocolate they could melt and use to dip the finished balls in.
“I love making a mess,” Ariella told him.
“Mom always says it’s fine to make a mess as long as I clean it up afterward.
Sometimes we do crafts and make a big mess.
We do paper-mache and clay, and we paint.
I use lots of glitter because I love how much it sparkles.
Sometimes after we’ve used glitter, we keep finding it in the house for weeks afterward. ”
As he located paper bags and let Ariella rip open the cookie bags and tip them into the paper bags, Lion honestly couldn’t think of a way he’d rather spend his life than being surrounded by cookie crumbs and glitter.
Mess when it was made by the people he loved having fun had to be the most beautiful sight in the world.
March 15th
2:52 P.M.
“They’re cute together.”
Unable to take her eyes off Ariella and Leo giggling and smashing cookies with the rolling pin, Kate nodded. “Yeah, they are.”
It made her happy and incredibly sad at the same time. She was glad that her daughter was getting this opportunity to bond with her dad while she could, but it was a bittersweet reminder of all the time the two of them had lost.
Leo hadn't been there when Ariella said her first word or took her first step.
He hadn't seen how excited she was for her first day of school, or how proud she’d been when she learned how to jump rope.
He hadn't been there for the fevers and teething, and he hadn't been there to support her daughter when Ariella started getting sick.
Not his fault, she understood that now, but it still sucked that her daughter had to miss out on so much just because of some deranged scientist who tried to turn people into super soldiers without really knowing what he was doing.