Chapter 10 #2
Leo sat up in his bed, and she could feel him watching her, although it was too dark for her to see much, so she couldn’t read his expression.
He would be able to read hers, though. They’d had a whispered conversation last night after mind-blowing sex, where he’d explained a bit to her about his enhanced ability.
Hiding was so much easier than the alternative.
An alternative she wasn't ready to face yet.
As though reading that in her face, Leo said, “It’s okay to be confused.
It’s okay not to know what you want. It’s okay to take things slow.
I'm just asking you to talk to me, tell me what’s running through that pretty head of yours.
I know I messed up, Kate. I know an apology and an explanation aren’t enough to fix that.
I'm well aware it’s going to take time and work.
Time I'm willing to wait, and work I'm willing to do.
This is my mess to fix, I get that, I'm just asking you to please not shut me out.”
Why did he have to be so reasonable?
It made her feel like she was the one in the wrong, and …
maybe in this she was. Running was cowardly, and it was the second morning in a row she’d done it.
She wasn't trying to play with Leo’s feelings or lead him on.
All she knew was that she couldn’t stay away from this man even if she wanted to, and she didn't want to, she was just terrified of committing and risking her heart and her daughter’s in the process.
“You can tell me what you're thinking, Katie-Bear, even if it’s something you think I don’t want to hear, or something that might hurt me.”
“Loving you is easy, trusting you is hard. I have to do what’s best for our daughter,” she whispered as tears filled her eyes, making the shadowy form of Leo blur.
Not enough that she didn't see him move.
Didn't see him come for her.
When he was standing before her, he reached for her chin, grasped it so gently her heart ached at the tenderness she’d been missing for so long.
It seemed crazy that a ten-month-long relationship could affect her so deeply, but she’d been in love with this man since before she even truly understood what that meant.
Part of her soul, even at eight years old, had just known that Leo was her other half.
Now he was back in her life, and it would be the easiest thing in the world to just let him back in, make all her childish dreams come true, but it was also the hardest thing in the world to do because the risks were so high.
“That’s one of the reasons I love you so much, Kate, because of your ability to worry about everyone else’s feelings and want to make sure you protect them.
I swear to you that I will never willingly do anything to hurt you again, never willingly do anything to hurt our daughter.
I will prove that to you even if it takes the rest of our lives. ”
“I'm so scared, Leo,” she murmured, blinking and letting the tears swimming in her eyes fall free.
“For ten years I've hated you, but from the moment I saw you, I realized I never hated you, not even for a second.
I just loved you so much that something broke inside me the day you left.
I want to heal that part, I want to be me again, but I'm scared that I'm too broken, that I can't heal, that I can't be the Kate you remember, the one you want.”
“No, babe, that can't ever happen.”
“How can you know that?” she whimpered through her tears.
Right now, she didn't want to be the strong woman she’d had to learn to become as she navigated the world as a single mom, and then the single mom to an ill child.
She needed to be weak in this moment, to let Leo be strong enough for both of them.
“Because there will never be a time when I don’t want my Katie-Bear.
There has never been a time when I haven’t craved you with every fiber of my being.
I will love you until my dying breath, regardless of whether we ever get back together.
There will never be anyone else for me. Since you, I haven’t even looked at another woman.
How can I when my heart already belongs to you? ”
“Leo.” His name burst out of her on a sob, and then she was weeping, a decade’s worth of pent-up emotions, anger, sadness, grief, confusion, and despair, came raging out.
All her feelings of not being good enough, of being abandoned, of having to carry a burden that was too much for one person all by herself because the man she’d loved had walked away from her, were no longer able to be contained.
But Kate wasn't just crying for herself, she was crying for Leo as well.
For everything he had been through, everything he had suffered.
For the man who had been forced to carve his heart out of his chest, toss it on the ground, and then walk away and leave it behind because he thought it was the only way to protect it.
Only this time, when she was crushed beneath the weight of emotion, there was someone there to catch her.
Arms closed around her as she cried, a steady chest was there to lean against. A hand tangled in her hair, and another swept the length of her spine as soothing words were whispered in her ear.
“I still love you,” she whispered back, needing him to know that.
“Nothing could make me stop, not even hating you. I'm scared, but … I don’t want to lose you again. I want Ariella to have both her parents in her life. I want to have a partner again, I want the family we talked about. I want the life we planned. I don’t want that man to take any more of our future from us than he already has. ”
Admitting the words out loud felt like a weight was gone from her shoulders. It felt freeing, and when the sturdy chest she leaned against shuddered beneath her, she knew she’d done the right thing.
Knew that she wasn't the only one who needed someone to hold her up sometimes.
Maybe Leo wasn't as strong and together as he pretended to be. Maybe he needed her as much as she needed him.
For some reason that made this easier. Kate lifted her hands and placed her palms on Leo’s bare chest, her fingers stroking his smooth skin. When she tilted her head back, she saw Leo looking down at her, hunger in his eyes, but more than that, love.
Pure, unadulterated love.
For her.
“I want to not be scared anymore. I want it to be between us the way it was before. Those ten months we were together were the best of my life, and they left me with the most perfect gift, the best little girl in the world,” she murmured as she pushed up onto her tiptoes so she could brush her lips against his.
Against her stomach, she felt him grow hard, and just as she was reaching for him, curling her fingers around his length, a loud siren suddenly went off, making her freeze.
Leo, too, went completely still, and she didn't need to be able to clearly see his expression to know what was in it.
Fear.
Whatever that siren meant, it had scared Leo. Terrified him.
“What is it?” she asked, pretty sure she didn't want to know the answer.
“A warning.”
“Warning?”
“Our location might have just been compromised.”
“Compromised?”
“No one should know where we are. If someone does …”
“Then none of us are safe,” she finished for him. Which meant she and her daughter were now in danger along with Leo and the rest of his team. In trying to find a way to save Ariella’s life, she’d brought her into a whole new world of danger instead.