Chapter 22 #2
But out there, with the fresh air and the peaceful forest, with a whole new family of people who Kate already knew were going to spoil the little girl rotten, she seemed to be soaring to new heights.
No one babied or coddled her, they spoiled her, but they treated her like she was strong, competent, and capable, and Ariella was thriving.
They’d made a few video calls with her family and Leo’s.
Ariella missed them, and so did Kate, so it had been inevitable.
Plus, both families knew that she’d taken her daughter to try to track down Leo to see if he could save the child’s life.
She would always protect Leo’s privacy, but she also had to update them, because they loved her daughter as well, and had been there for both of them since Leo walked out.
Leo was fine with her reaching out and had even gone so far as to ask her to tell his family he was sorry for leaving them and that maybe in time he might be in a place where he was ready to reach out.
Despite all the positives, including her daughter’s happiness, making love to Leo each night, and falling asleep in his arms, and being incorporated into Delta Team’s family, Kate felt her anxiety beginning to spiral.
For so long, she’d been the one who had to have it all together.
She had to be strong and find a way to handle everything all on her own.
Her family and Leo’s had always been there.
They stepped up, babysat when she needed a break, went to doctor’s appointments with her, and learned to help deliver the medical care Ariella needed, but it wasn't the same as having a partner to share the burden of raising a child who might never make it to double digits.
Now that she had that partner she’d craved for so long, it felt like she was losing control.
So many what-ifs ran through her mind, and it was getting harder to ignore them. Constant worry about what was going to happen next. Fear that Leo would bail if Ariella didn't make it. Maybe even leave once he knew their daughter was going to live.
What if he was just there because of guilt?
What if he was only pretending to love them?
What if he kicked them out one day?
Deep down, she knew those worries were born only out of her imagination, the hold the past still managed to maintain on her.
Leo loved her, she saw it, felt it, knew it.
It was in each soft look, each gentle touch, each little kind thing he did for her, each caring word he spoke.
There was no way she could misinterpret all of that, and yet the anxiety didn't go away. It was there, and it was growing.
It felt like any second she was going to completely lose control. Kate knew she couldn’t. Ariella might have her dad in her life, might have a whole new family, plus the one who had always been there for her, but she still knew that her daughter needed her mother.
Losing it wasn't an option, and yet—
“I'm here, Katie-Bear. Stop trying to do it all,” Leo whispered, his arms wrapping around her from behind as he urged her to rest against his chest, cocooning her in a little bubble.
“I can't,” she whispered, fighting back the tears that threatened to trickle out despite her best intentions to stop them. Ariella was still blithely working away with the guys, Rose, Cassandra, Indigo, and Maya. Leo was supposed to be with them, but he’d obviously noticed her standing on the porch watching.
No, not watching, trying not to fall apart.
“Why can't you, baby?” he asked, gripping her shoulders and turning her to face him, then rewrapping her in a warm embrace she wanted so badly to sink into, seek the support she needed, but she was too scared.
She didn’t want to tell Leo that she was afraid to trust him, even though she did trust him, because she didn't want to hurt his feelings when he was trying so hard to make amends for the past. She didn't even know why she was freaking out when she did believe Leo.
She did, and she didn't, and the dichotomy was slowly dissolving her sanity.
“You can tell me anything, Katie-Bear, always.” His touch was so gentle when he palmed her cheek, his fingers whispering along her temple, that she could no longer hold in her tears. They tumbled down her cheeks in what felt like a never-ending stream.
“I'm sorry,” she murmured.
“Sorry about what?”
“I'm … losing it.”
“It’s okay to let go, baby.” The pressure on her temple increased, grounding her, tying her to him all over again, even as a small part of her mind screamed at her that if she gave him complete power over her, he could destroy her.
“It’s not.”
“It is. I'm here, you're not alone anymore. I know it’s hard for you to trust that—”
“I want to trust it, I do trust it, but—”
“But I hurt you, and a couple of weeks can't undo a decade of pain,” Leo finished for her. He didn't sound angry about it, didn't even sound sad about it, just factual. It seemed he’d accepted that some things took longer to work through than you wanted them to.
“I love you, Leo,” she said, curling her fingers into his T-shirt and twisting it into a fist. She needed him to know that even though she had doubts she didn't want to be having, she did trust him, and she loved him more today than she had a decade ago.
“I know that, Katie-Bear.” Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, he smiled warmly at her, and she saw that truth reflected in his eyes.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“You are, you already said yes when I gave you the ring. There’s no way I'm letting you take that back.”
Kate laughed through her tears. “I don’t want you to let me take it back.
I don’t want to take it back. I'm yours. Forever. And I want you to be mine. I love you so much, Leo. But I'm scared. Scared of losing you, scared of losing our sweet little girl. I don’t think I can survive losing either of you.”
“When you're scared, let me in, Katie-Bear. I know you're used to doing it all alone, and I know that’s my fault. But I'm here now, and I won't ever leave either of you again. If the worst happens, then we’ll get through it together, but she’s getting better. I know it’s early, but she has my blood in her system, which gives her my enhanced healing, and she has the drugs that boost her immune system.”
“I think she’s getting better, too, but then I worry it’s just my imagination.”
“It’s not, babe.” His lips were firm against her forehead as he pressed a kiss there, letting it linger before he began to catch her tears with his lips. Finally, they found hers, and he poured strength, devotion, and love into the kiss until she couldn’t help but let it flood into her.
“Kate. Lion.”
They broke away as Whitney came flying out the front door. The scientist was the only one not working outside this morning because she’d been testing Ariella’s blood samples. Now as the woman came bursting onto the porch, Kate’s fingers tightened in Leo’s shirt.
This was it.
She knew it.
Felt it.
Whatever Whitney was about to tell them would shape their entire future.
Good news or bad?
“She’s making new blood cells,” Whitney exclaimed without preamble, a huge grin on her face.
If it wasn't for Leo wrapping his arms around her biceps, Kate knew she would have sunk to the floor as relief so powerful it almost stole her breath tore through her.
“She’s going to be okay?” she asked, needing to hear it said out loud.
“She has a way to go, but she’s improving. The transplant was successful,” Whitney replied, still grinning.
Kate was in Leo’s arms before she could process the other woman’s words. He ran with her across the grass to their daughter, then grabbed the little girl and hugged them both.
“Mom? Dad?” Ariella asked.
“You're going to get better, sweetie-pie. Daddy saved you,” Kate told her daughter as she clung to her man and her child, and allowed the sobs that had been building for days now finally run free.
Leo was crying, too, and Ariella’s cheeks were wet as she pressed her face against Kate’s neck. No moment in her life had been this perfect, not even when Ariella was born and placed in her arms for the first time, because she’d had to go through hell to get to this point.
“You saved me, too, Mommy, because you were always there for me,” Ariella whispered, and her daughter’s sweet words made her heart burst with love.