Chapter 16
Sixteen
Fletch
W hen I go in to check on Ruby, she’s fast asleep. I turn off her bedside light, musing at how quickly I’ve stepped into a role I thought I never wanted. She makes it all so easy, and liking her isn’t a choice when her presence is so infectious.
Gemma is staring up at the ceiling when I go in, then I feel her eyes on me. “What are you doing?” she asks when I drop into the reclining chair.
“Sleeping.”
“There’s a perfectly good couch. Or better still, go home.”
“I can’t leave you alone.”
“Why?”
“You know why, Snap. Now, go to sleep.”
“How can I when you’re right there watching me?”
I grin. “You slept in a wet bed earlier. Close your eyes and just sleep.”
She growls in annoyance and rolls over, wrapping the sheets around her tightly. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
I wake with a start in time to see Gemma leaving the bedroom. I scramble to my feet, rushing after her. “What’s going on?” I ask, catching her wrist before she manages to descend the stairs. She’s dressed, and when she turns to look at me, she’s applied makeup. I frown at the sudden turnaround in her attitude.
“I have to go in to work and face my bosses.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I say, allowing her to head downstairs with me following.
“I’ve already put them off enough.”
“Yesterday, you didn’t want to get out of bed, and now, you’re floating down the stairs like the ghost of Christmas past. You haven’t eaten in days. At least let me fix you some breakfast.” I watch as she pushes her feet into heels.
Ruby comes down the stairs rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “What’s going on?”
“Your mum,” I hear Gemma’s sharp intake of breath but continue anyway, “thinks she’s ready to face her bosses.”
“Christ,” says Ruby, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“That’s exactly what I said,” I tell her.
“I’m fine,” says Gemma, grabbing her bag. “I told you, I just needed a few days to sort my head out.” She unlocks the door. “And when I get back, I want you gone, Fletch.” She leaves, slamming the door.
I stare at it for a few seconds before turning to Ruby. “You think she’s okay?”
She shakes her head. “Nope.”
“Do you think she meant it when she said she wants me gone?”
Ruby smirks. “Oh yeah.”
“Nah, she was bluffing,” I say with a shrug.
“What are you gonna do?”
I head for the kitchen. “Make breakfast and wait for her to return.”
“I don’t think she’ll be happy when she sees you’re still here.”
“I’m counting on it.”
We eat breakfast and talk about Ruby’s friends. I like hearing about her life, even though she tells me about a few boys in her friendship circle. The feeling in my chest isn’t like anything I’ve ever felt. I know how boys’ minds work and I hate that she’s so young and na?ve to it.
Once she’s gone for her shower, I put a call in to Nyx.
“Hey, brother, when you coming home?”
I grin. “Are you missing me?”
He laughs. “Nah, I’m getting all the club pussy, it’s great. But seriously, what’s going on?”
“Gemma seemed fine today. It’s a stark comparison to yesterday. I think she’s putting on a front so I’ll leave her alone.”
“And are you gonna?”
“Nah. I don’t trust her after what she said.”
“Pres called church last night, said you were in love with Gemma.”
“He did what?” I snap, pissed he went behind my back.
“Relax. He wanted to make sure we were all okay with it.”
It piques my interest. “And were you all okay?”
He laughs again. “You know no one goes against the Pres, brother. He laid your case out, and he’s right, she didn’t get nothing on the club and there’s history between you. You got a kid, so we gotta accept your decision.”
“Thanks, man, I needed to hear that.”
“Plus, I get to keep all the women to myself now.”
Gemma
Karen smiles, but it’s not her usual bright smile. It’s an awkward sort, like she doesn’t know what to say to me. And beside her is my father.
“I imagine this is as awkward for you as it is for us,” Karen says. “So, basically, we would like to make you a deal.”
I sit straighter. “Hand in your notice with immediate effect,” my father cuts in, “and there will be no investigation.”
I suspected he’d want this brushed under the carpet without the scandal tainting his reputation. “Just like that?”
“Yes, Gemma,” he says sternly. “Do you really want the entire team dragged through a hearing? They’ll ask all kinds of questions that will paint you in a very bad light.”
“I thought you’d at least offer me a transfer,” I spit.
He laughs, and it’s cold and empty. “You’re lucky this isn’t going further.”
“You mean you are,” I snap, pushing to stand. “This is what you’ve wanted all along, for me to leave the force.”
“Let’s just calm down,” whispers Karen. “This is the best way to deal with it, Gemma. If we have to take this public, it will look bad on all of us, you included. You’re a fantastic officer, and we’ll be sad to see you go. I expect your resignation by the end of the day.”
I roll my eyes, pulling out the letter I’d already written because I knew this would be how it would end. I slam it on the table and leave.
My father catches me in the hall. “Gemma,” he hisses until I stop and turn to face him. He glances around nervously. “This is about protecting us both. It’s not personal.”
“Bullshit. I’ve done what you’ve asked. Now, I want something from you. I want you to legally sign Ruby over to me.”
“What?”
“You heard. She’s my daughter. I want to be on her birth certificate.”
“Gemma, that’s impossible. We lied. We can’t just change it.”
“Find a way.”
Fletch
Gemma steps into the kitchen and stares at me. “I thought I asked you to leave.”
“I told you I’m staying until you’re well again.”
She dumps her bag on the side and kicks off her heels. “I lost my job today,” she tells me, heading to the fridge. I watch in silence as she pulls out a bottle of white wine then goes to the cupboard and pulls out a large glass. “Years of hard work gone because I made a stupid mistake with you . . . again.”
“I’m sorry,” I mutter.
She unscrews the cap and pours the wine until the glass is almost overflowing, then she slams the bottle down and takes a few large gulps. “That’s it?” she asks. “You’re sorry?”
“Look, don’t fucking pretend I’m the bad guy here. You were trying to set me up too. You thought I’d be an easy way in.” She rolls her eyes and drinks some more. “You wouldn’t have continued seeing me if you weren’t so obsessed with the club.”
“You recorded me having sex,” she cries, slamming the glass down and spilling some of the wine onto the table. “You are the bad guy, Fletch.”
“I did what I had to do to protect the club.”
“Of course, you did, because that means more to you than anything, right?”
“Yes,” I snap. “Yes, it does.”
“So, what about Ruby?” she screams. “Where will she come into it all, because you’ve already proved you’ll put that gang first.”
It’s blind rage that has me moving fast until I have her against the wall. “She’s different,” I growl, pushing my forehead to hers. “And I’m not in a gang.” She’s not scared. She hardly even bats an eyelid as I cup her jaw and stare her down. “You’re standing here like you’re the injured party, yet I’m the one who’s been lied to for all these years.”
“I’m taking Ruby away from here,” she says firmly.
“Not a chance,” I spit, pushing away from her and turning my back so I can gain control of the anger swirling inside me. “I’ve only just found her. You’re not taking her anywhere.”
“You can’t stop me.”
“Like fuck I can’t. What your parents did was illegal,” I tell her, “but I’m sure you already know that. You try to take her away and I’ll call the police and the social and tell them how your father lied.”
“Do you think I care what happens to them?” she asks, laughing. It’s cold and empty. “I can’t stay here. I can’t be around you.”
“It’s not about you, Gemma. Ruby wants to get to know me. And I . . . I want to get to know her too.”
“Did you all laugh?” she asks, her voice low as she stares down at the floor. “Did you watch that footage and laugh?”
“No.”
When her eyes reach mine, I see the hurt all over again. “Did you watch it?”
I shake my head. “No. Nobody did.”
“I don’t believe you,” she whispers. “I thought it hurt the first time when you left me, but this . . . this is so much worse. I feel betrayed, Fletch.”
“And you don’t think I feel exactly the same, Gemma?” I snap. “I have a fucking daughter. She’s practically grown, and I knew nothing about her. I didn’t watch her grow or hear her first words. You betrayed me, so I ain’t gonna feel bad for protecting my club from you. Stop playing the victim when you’re just as bad.”
She goes to grab the glass, but I swipe it away, sending it across the room. It smashes and she stares at the wine now running down the wall. “You need to fucking eat something,” I spit, storming out the room.
Gemma
I sit at the kitchen table staring into space. I’m hurt but Fletch is too. Somehow that pisses me off more. He’s done so much to me, yet he still throws everything back on me. I lied. It was huge, I get that, but I’ve tried to explain why I couldn’t tell him about Ruby. Fuck, I’ve spent most of my adult life regretting that decision to let my father take her from me.
I push my chair back and head upstairs, ignoring the way the two of them are together again, watching a film.
I go into my bedroom and notice the mattress is now dry. I drop to my knees and feel around under my bed until my hands land on the box. I slide it out and tuck it under my arm before heading back downstairs. I stand in front of the television until I have their attention, and Ruby uses the remote to pause it.
“I lied to you both,” I say, “and I wish I hadn’t. God, I wish I could change so much. But I want you both to know I didn’t mean to hurt you. So . . .” I drop to my knees and place the box on the floor. I haven’t looked in here for so long, I’m nervous. “I wanted to share this with you.”
I lift the lid and both lean forward slightly. “I kept everything I could,” I explain, pulling out a small white envelope and delving inside to retrieve the small lock of blonde hair tied neatly with a small pink ribbon. “Your first haircut,” I tell Ruby, passing it over. “You were two and you hated it. You screamed the place down.” I pull out the picture showing Ruby’s red, tear-stained face. “The hairdresser couldn’t get the fringe straight because you wouldn’t sit still,” I add with a laugh. They both stare at the picture. Ruby smiles, but Fletch looks sad, so I move on quickly, pulling out a scan picture. “I had to sneak these because Sarah took them. She never noticed when I stole them back.”
Ruby joins me on the floor, taking everything I pass her way and studying it with a huge smile. “I made a scrapbook,” I add, passing that to Fletch. He takes it, staring at the cover which has pictures of Ruby all over the front. “Of all her firsts. There’re some pictures of the ones I witnessed. I even wrote her first word,” I say proudly.
He dumps the scrapbook on the side and stands. “I need air,” he mutters, heading out.
Ruby places her hand over mine. “He’s struggling,” she whispers.
“I’m trying,” I mutter. “I can’t change it now, but I’m trying to make it right.”
“I know,” she says, smiling, “and I love all this. The fact you kept it all makes me feel loved . . . Mum.” It’s the second time I’ve heard it today and it feels so foreign. Ruby winces. “Is it too weird?” I shake my head, scared to say anything in case I break down. “Cos I can stick to Gemma if you prefer, but I just thought . . . I can’t call you Gemma forever.”
I nod. “It’s fine,” I whisper. “Just feels strange.”
“Go and speak to him. I’d really like to get to know you both properly, as my parents.”
I step into the garden, where I find Fletch staring up at the sky. He gives a side glance but doesn’t speak as I lower onto the wall beside him. “We’re both upset for very different reasons,” I begin, “and I’m trying to make it right, okay. Yes, I lied, but I can’t change that now.”
“That’s the worst thing about it,” he mutters. “You can’t change it. We can’t go back in time.”
I sigh. “I wish I could, Fletch. I’m sorry, okay, but I was young and scared, and you left me. Not only that, you fucked my best friend.”
He stares down at the ground. “Yeah, I know. I fucked up. You wanna know why I did that?” He glances at me, and I nod. “I thought I wasn’t good enough.” He gives an unamused laugh. “You were sneaking around to see me, and I was sick of it. Every time you cancelled because you couldn’t sneak out, I got more and more pissed. She was there, flirting and telling me how lucky you were to have me but how ashamed you were. I just gave in, but I knew you’d catch us. She knew it too, and I didn’t care. You caught us and ran, and it just confirmed that I wasn’t good enough for you. I’d messed it up because I wasn’t good enough.”
“It was never you,” I whisper. “I told you so many times, I was terrified he’d ruin it. And I know it ruined us anyway, but I just thought if I could reach my twenty-first, I could leave home and run away with you.” I laugh. “I was young and na?ve. Then I found out about the baby, and I panicked. My first love had cheated on me, and I was having his baby. Of course, my father wasted no time telling me how you’d be a terrible father, and because you’d let me down so badly already, I believed him.”
“It must’ve been hard on you,” he mutters, placing a hand over mine as it rests on my knee. I stare at it, wishing we’d never met again that night in The Bar. “Watching her grow up without her knowing the truth.”
“I learned to live with it.”
“Now Sarah has left, what will happen with Ruby?”
I shrug. “I asked my father to change the birth certificate. Of course, it’s not that simple. It would implicate him in a crime.”
Fletch stands. “Leave it to me.” I watch in confusion as he leaves through the back gate.