Chapter 14 #3
“I would like nothing more,” he agreed, “but we should increase our caution, too. At least you are safe for now, thanks to your sisters’ discretion. Their devotion to you in the face of their terror impresses me.”
“Really? I’m not all that impressed. They weren’t as accepting of us as I would have hoped.”
“I think you underestimate the effect of my presence on those without your gift,” he said gently. “That they acquiesced to your wishes at all shows great trust.”
“I mean, sure, it makes sense to be afraid of you,” I conceded. “But it’s not just that. Zoe…she asked me for the secrets of the afterlife.” I winced as I said it. Leave it to me to let the ugly truth spill out in these vulnerable moments.
“Unsurprising,” Thanatos said, as if it were of little consequence. “Give them time. Know that I expected nothing less.” A smile tugged the corner of his lips. “So, did you tell her?”
I scrunched up my nose. “No, of course not. That would only bring more problems, like you said. Besides, I have no intention of sharing you.”
Thanatos chuckled softly, his grin widening. “That is for the best, stubborn mortal, as there is clearly no resisting your charms. Just look at the mess you have made of me. You even made me sleep.”
“It wasn’t on purpose,” I said with a laugh. “I didn’t even do anything! Oh, but did you get in trouble for it?”
“Well, Charon was markedly unimpressed. Certainly he will be hounding me about this for months to come.”
“I see. Remind me not to get on his bad side when I’m left down there.”
A strange look crossed his face, followed by the smallest smile. “You will never meet Charon, my love,” he told me at last. “When it is time, I will carry you to Elysium myself.”
And just like that, it was suddenly on our lips: the subject we’d always managed to avoid, the one we had never dared to confront. My afterlife.
“You would judge my soul worthy?” I asked softly. “Such a romantic.” I wavered then, trying not to get my hopes up. “And would…would you visit me there?”
Thanatos bit his lip, contemplating. “I…suppose I could. But you would not be the same. Souls are different: when they emerge from my wings, they are echoes frozen in time, unable to change. They…I do not know what you will feel, or how much you will remember of me.” He sighed despondently.
“I hope you keep most of yourself, but even so, thoughts like these I try to chase away. There is nothing I can do about them, and it pains me to dwell on these things.”
“Will you remember me, then?”
“What?” he asked, clearly taken aback. “Of course I will. Why would you ask me this?”
“I mean, you’re immortal,” I said. “Forever. Your memories must fade as the centuries go by. Our time must be like nothing to you.”
Thanatos hesitated, then gave me a gentle kiss. “You are worth more than centuries to me,” he said quietly. “I have many lonely ones yet to live, and in all of them I will think of you.”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I buried my face in his chest as if this would hide them away. “Oh,” I sobbed.
He stroked me gently. “Do not cry for me, my love,” he murmured. “For against all odds, at least we have this. These stolen moments are more than I had ever imagined could be mine.”
He was right, of course. Our love was already a miracle.
But it was still like a knife in my heart to picture him all alone once again, with no one to adore him the way he deserved.
Haunted by a shade of myself. I held back another sob and tried to shove the miserable image out of my mind.
“Then I will be with you now,” I promised.
“As long as I can. As long as the Fates allow it.”
Thanatos tilted my chin up and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Do not dwell on it,” he said. “Hey, think of how you can sleep with me now. The whole night this time, after I return from the Underworld.”
I smiled softly, brushing the last of my tears away. “Yeah, unless you fall asleep too and we accidentally wake up at noon.”
“That is not going to happen again!” he promised, perhaps a bit too vigorously.
Was he embarrassed by what had transpired?
Confused? Whichever emotion it was, I was glad to have brought it out in him.
To sleep with me meant that he trusted me.
That he would do it on accident meant that I’d given him a reason to sleep.
And I always loved to see his involuntary responses to my affection.
“Are you sure?” I asked him, seriously this time.
“Yes.”
“Mmm. Okay then,” I agreed. “That sounds nice. Hey, why don’t you go to the Underworld now and get it over with? Then we can have no interruptions.”
“I suppose that is fine. Alright. But don’t put your clothes back on!” he added, even as he reluctantly moved to gather his own. “You had better wait for me, beautiful woman.”
So I did. When Thanatos returned, I doted on him all night until I fell asleep in his arms, the way it was meant to be. He woke me just before dawn to return me to my place behind my locked door.
Could this be our new cycle of love and death and secrecy?
Weaving the sacred crossing of souls between our bouts of rebellious lovemaking?
Washing the scent of him from my skin every morning, replacing it with with the aroma of temple soap and incense?
I dared to hope for it…and I was given three days.
We had three precious, perfect days before I finally finished my prophecy.