31. Chapter 31 - Paxton
Itook a shaky breath as I walked across the parking lot to the meadery.
I needed to talk to Tommy, to share the good news.
When I stepped inside, I found Tommy working the taproom bar while Matty did his thing, delivering drinks and laughing with patrons.
Tommy glanced over at me and when I caught his eye, his face split into a wide grin.
“Glad you’re here. We just kicked the last of the I Mead More for the day and I need to change the keg.”
I nodded. “I’m happy to step in. Or I can change the keg. Your call.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “You take the bar. I need a minute to breathe.”
“Understood,” I said with a little chuckle.
The taproom was busy, especially for a Tuesday afternoon, and I did my best to keep up with orders while Tommy was gone. Matty came and stood by the bar for a few moments during a lull.
“How was your trip? It’s been a minute since you were here.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Sorry about that. It was good. I’ll update you both when Tommy gets back. How have things been around here?”
“Busy as hell,” Matty said. “Tommy decided to start working on a new recipe while you were gone.”
“Oh?”
“Tart apple and cinnamon.”
“That sounds great, actually. Why haven’t I thought about that combo before?”
He shrugged and grinned. “We have good ideas around here sometimes,” he said with a little wink.
“Fair.” I laughed, but before I could say anything else, Tommy was back.
He put one hand on the bar and faced me. “What did I miss?”
“Matty was telling me about your new flavor. Sounds amazing. And I was just about to share some updates of my own.”
“Oh?”
“The trip to Santa Clara was a bust. We’re not going with the investor’s proposal. They wanted to change too much. Take control. We wouldn’t be the same anymore, and none of us wants that.”
Tommy pinched his lips together seriously. “Fuck them. I guess that means we miss out on the land, though, huh?”
I laughed. “Hell yes, fuck them. But actually… You know how Callum and I have been working on getting some grant money?” They both nodded, so I kept going.
“We got word that we’ve been approved for one grant.
It’ll provide about seventy percent of the funding we need.
The rest, we can look at other grants or even loans, if necessary.
And today, the planning committee approved our proposal. We’re expanding.”
“Seriously?” Tommy’s eyebrows shot up.
“Seriously.”
He threw his arms around me, surprising me with a hug. “That’s awesome news,” he said as he squeezed me tightly. “Does Callum know?”
I hugged Tommy back, but I felt a little empty doing it. “It is great news. Callum knows.”
Tommy eyed me, and his next words were careful and deliberate. “Why the fuck isn’t he here celebrating with us, then?”
I tried to keep the smile on my face, but I knew it wavered. “He’s at his parents’ place, packing. Has to head home. The flight is tomorrow morning.”
“Oh, shit. I’m sorry,” he said.
Matty agreed. “Man, that sucks.”
Did they know we’d been seeing each other? I couldn’t recall ever bringing it up, but it seemed like they had to know. “We’re going to try long-distance,” I said slowly. “And he’ll be back in a few months.”
Tommy grimaced. “A few months? That’s rough.”
“Bicoastal relationships aren’t easy,” Matty said. “But if anyone can make it work, it’s you two.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for the support, guys. Can we talk about something else? Anything else?”
They both nodded and the next thing I knew, we were going down a rabbit hole talking about new flavors to put on the menu. It wasn’t going to be the easiest thing I’d ever done, loving someone who lived so far away, but… Wait. I pulled myself up short. Do I love him? Is that what we’re doing here?
I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and blinked away the tears stinging my eyes. I didn’t want to think about any of that right then. I just wanted to focus on my job.
***
By the time we closed up for the night, I was exhausted.
I felt like I hadn’t stood that much or talked to that many customers in years, even though it had really only been less than a week since I’d stepped foot in the building.
I collapsed on the couch at home, kicking off my shoes and taking a long, slow breath.
My feet hurt. My eyes burned. All I wanted was to sleep.
Well, that and Callum. I wanted to be with him, have him there in my arms, way more than I wanted to sleep.
I let my eyes close for a second, and when I opened them again, it was to the sound of someone knocking on my door. Before I could reorient myself, Callum called my name.
“Pax? It’s just me.”
I sat up and rubbed my bleary eyes with the heels of my hands. “Hey,” I murmured sleepily, reaching out for him.
Callum came to the couch and sat next to me, where I put my arm around him and pulled him close for a quick kiss. “How was work?”
I sighed happily. “It was good. Tommy and Matty held things down pretty well. No problems, kept the taproom and the fermentation room under control, even came up with a new flavor they want to try.”
“That’s amazing,” he murmured, snuggling into my shoulder.
“I know. It’s nice to know I can count on them. Not that I ever doubted it.”
Callum nodded slowly but didn’t speak for a long moment. When he did, his words made my stomach clench with icy dread. “We need to talk.”
I pulled away from him so I could look him in the eye. “What’s wrong?”
His smile was sad and didn’t reach his eyes. “Nothing’s wrong. I just have something I want to tell you.”
I’ve decided we need to break up. I can’t do long-distance. It’s too much. The thoughts raced through my mind before he could say a word.
“I quit my job.”
My mouth fell open and I blinked at him a couple of times. That was not what I’d expected him to say. “You what? Why?”
He shrugged in a clear attempt to look casual. “I realized I didn’t want it anymore.”
“You’re going to go freelance for this trip?” I didn’t understand what this meant.
“No. I mean, not right now. I canceled the trip. I don’t have concrete work lined up for right now. I just…” He took a breath and swallowed, his throat working, his Adam’s apple bobbing.
I longed to kiss him, to suck a bruise into his throat right there, to claim him as mine and let the world see.
He sighed again. “I realized I couldn’t do both. I couldn't travel full time and have you in my life. It would be too painful to leave, knowing you’re here missing me. But it’s more than that. It’s not just that I can’t. I don’t want to.”
My mouth went dry, and words escaped me.
He paused for a long moment and I wasn’t sure if he was expecting me to speak, but I didn’t have words. Finally, he opened his mouth again. “I love you, Pax. I don’t want to be anywhere you’re not. And I understand if—”
My stomach somersaulted and heat bloomed in my chest. “I love you, too,” I said quickly.
Callum smiled slowly. “You do?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I do.”
“Okay then.”
We were both quiet for a bit, staring at each other with goofy, love-struck grins. “Now what?” I asked eventually.
Cal grabbed me by the back of my neck and pulled me in for a long, unhurried kiss. The feeling of his tongue against mine drew a groan from my throat, and something about knowing he wasn’t leaving heated my skin and made me desperate to touch him all over, to claim him, to mark him as mine.
I moved my mouth to his jaw and kissed the soft spot behind his ear before trailing even lower. I scraped his neck with my teeth, making Cal shiver, before I did just what I’d been longing to do, sucking his skin gently and causing him to squirm.
“Fuck,” he breathed. “You’re going to leave a mark.”
I moaned against his throat, my cock hardening at the thought, and stopped long enough to whisper to him. “Is that a problem?” Before he could respond, I took one of his hands and guided it down, to cup my erection.
“Jesus, Pax,” he murmured, pressing his hand against me and dragging it along my length.
“Is it?”
He shook his head. “Do it. Please.”
I bit him again before sucking the tender spot and pushing him backwards at the same time, breaking contact briefly.
Cal fell to the couch, sprawled underneath me, and I went back to work on his throat.
I loved the sound of him sighing when, satisfied I’d marked him, I trailed my mouth down to his collarbone and began working his button-up shirt open with quick movements, all the while keeping my lips on his body.
“Pax,” he murmured as I rocked my hips down against his body, seeking friction for my aching cock.
“Hmm?”
“Bedroom?”
“No time,” I murmured into his chest. “I want you now.”
“I—” he started, cutting himself off with a sharp hiss as I bit one nipple and pinched the other at the same time.
“Please,” I whispered, letting my breath ghost against his skin. “Now.”
“Yeah, okay. Fuck.”
As I continued making my way down his body, my cock aching to be inside him, my mind raced ahead, grateful I’d decided to stash condoms and lube in the coffee table drawer.
I could hardly wait until the day we didn’t need them anymore, my pulse racing at the thought, but for now, I’d use them without complaint.
Now that he was staying, we had all the time in the world.