Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
She’d intended to say no.
No to staying on the second floor with Gage.
No to taking a shower in his bathroom and then eating with him.
No to playing Monopoly and now this game that revealed far too much and was far too much fun.
No was on the tip of her tongue because the last thing she wanted was to spend more time with her boss’s gaze taking in her every action and reaction.
More time inhaling the heady scent of him or noticing the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled.
But she didn’t say no because the thought of going downstairs in the dark and listening to the howling wind and driving rain, to the phone alerts going off every few minutes, left her trembling with the awareness that she didn’t want to be alone.
But more than that? She didn’t want to be alone when she could be with him.
When had that happened?
The heat of his thigh pressed against hers, and Gage’s rock-hard shoulder gave her something safe and secure to lean on. Lending comfort just by his presence. A presence that threatened to overwhelm her struggling senses. “Looks like Cole will be in for a change in music.”
“Hold up, now. We’re tied. Unless the winner gets two out of three.”
“Go for it,” she said, trying to regain her scattered senses and a little equilibrium.
“I will. You ready?” He sat forward a bit and shifted to better face her.
“Bring it,” she said.
“I ran away once. I stole a golf cart and went joyriding. And when I was about fourteen, I wanted to be a monk.”
A laugh burst out of her, drawing a wider grin from him. “The last one is a lie. No fourteen-year-old boy would ever want to be a monk.”
Gage made a rude buzzer sound. “Nope. The lie was that I ran away.”
“Seriously? You wanted to be a monk? Why?” Nothing about him screamed monk or celibacy or any of the other identifying factors.
His gaze shifted, and he looked away from her. Sloane felt bereft and sensed whatever he was about to say, it was big.
“It seemed…easy. Easier,” he corrected himself softly.
“What do you mean?” She watched as he lifted a hand and rubbed it over his face as he grimaced.
“I was a stupid kid, and…life was stressful after our parents died. Money was always an issue. CPS constantly knocking on our door to check on us. Alec and Brooks worked themselves into the ground to keep us all fed, and Cole left to join the military to do his part to help out. I thought being a monk seemed like a good idea. A way to not be a burden because there’d be one less mouth to feed. ”
His words trailed off, but the image was there in her mind. That of a boy thrust into a world where nothing made sense. Where parents died and left kids behind to fend for themselves, and every day held too much stress and difficulty. Vulnerability. “That explains so much.”
He glanced back at her. “Explains what?”
Yeah, that tone warned her to tread lightly with her next words. “Just you and your ever-growing list of income streams. They’re a…security blanket for you.”
He lifted a thick eyebrow high at her comment, and she rushed to explain. “The kid you were felt helpless. You were too young to work much, I’m guessing, but you saw it all, felt all the things that were out of your control, but now…you’re Mr. Money-Maker.”
“You make me sound greedy.”
“Not at all. Money doesn’t make you greedy. It’s a necessary thing we all have to have. But I think for you, it’s about controlling your life in a way you couldn’t as a kid.”
“Sounds like you studied psychology. Not accounting.”
She knew she’d said too much when his jaw locked and a muscle ticked along the side as he pondered her words. “I get that though,” she continued. “The need to feel free and capable and…safe. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“What would it take for you to feel safe?”
The question left her floundering for a response, even though she knew the answer. Roots. A home. A place and a person and a life that didn’t leave her feeling frightened. All wrapped in one thing—freedom.
“You can’t feel safe sleeping in your car, Sloane.”
She exhaled and nodded. “You’re right. And thankfully I haven’t had to do it often.”
“Once is too much,” he countered in a husky voice.
“Hopefully soon I won’t have to. And anyway, we’re off track.
It’s my turn,” she said, changing the subject as lightning flashed beyond the shuttered glass followed by a boom of thunder that rocked the house and made the dishes on the open shelving shake while the home groaned from the force of the wind.
She wasn’t aware of letting out a muffled shriek until she heard it echo in her ears, but she didn’t fight the arm that wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her to Gage’s side.
“Just Mother Nature having a tantrum. We’re safe, Merida.”
She turned her face into his shoulder and neck, hiding from the ferocity.
From the memories sliding along her skin and into her brain like the evil snake that tempted Eve.
From the fear and anxiety his question had caused because it reminded her of how tenuous her situation was at the moment. “I know. It’s just…loud.”
And she could still see that white trail of lightning that had flashed across the sky as the world seemed to stop, when the tree began to lift and tilt, the giant roots spitting dirt as it crashed down and the ground shook with the force of it.
“Come on. Give me your next three, or I win by default,” he said.
She pulled away, far too shaken and embarrassed that she’d glommed onto him like a succubus and shoved her damp hair out of her face.
It had mostly dried while they’d played Monopoly, and the tight curls seemed to grow bigger with every second that passed due to the humidity in the air.
It was hot in the house with the windows closed and the AC off due to the electricity being out.
“Um…okay. I…I was first in my class until I dropped out of college. I…I wanted to be Romani when I was younger. And…I’ve raced on the BMW track in South Carolina. ”
She smirked a bit when she saw his consternation. Despite her muddled senses, she’d stumped him on that one.
“I can totally see you as the smartest in your class. That’s true.”
She didn’t comment and focused on him rather than the noises she heard outside. A few bangs and clangs and cracks rending the air along with the howling winds.
“I can’t picture you on a racetrack, but I also couldn’t see you stealing your brother’s car so…”
He searched her face for any sign, something to glean from. She kept her expression carefully schooled and as neutral as possible.
“You didn’t want to be Romani. That’s the lie.”
She made the same buzzing sound he’d made earlier. “Wrong.”
“What? No way.”
Sloane laughed softly. “I watched as my older brother took his turn on the BMW track, but I didn’t get to race.
I was too young. As to being Romani, I totally wanted to be one after watching this show on TV.
Until I found out a lot of the girls married at fifteen and wound up pregnant soon after. I changed my mind fast after that.”
“I could see that being a deterrent.”
She liked his soft Carolina drawl. It wasn’t thick like some of the others she’d heard while making her way down the coast, but Gage had just a bit of southern in his tone that made her think of slow dancing and…other things.
He studied her face to the point that she grew uncomfortable, and Sloane wet her lips and felt the sting of pain when she accidentally touched the cut on her lip. “You’re gonna lose, bossman. Better make this next one good.”
He straightened where he sat next to her and pondered his words for long seconds.
“Okay. Here we go.” He made a show of sitting up a bit straighter and cracking his knuckles. “I thought I’d have a family by now. I love sour kraut. And I think aliens exist because we’d be arrogant to think otherwise, given how many galaxies and universes there are out there.”
Dang, he’d pulled out the good stuff for that one, she thought. This was getting tough.
Gage’s smile widened and she could’ve sworn her heart did a flip like a playful dolphin at the sight.
But what was the lie? For real. Which one?
The choices were so different and—not completely obvious. “I’m going with…sour kraut. No, aliens. No…”
His grin widened, and she felt it all the way to her toes. Her bare toes that curled until her ankle twinged in pain.
“Ticktock, Merida.”
She made a face that drew another laugh from him. “Sour kraut.”
“Final answer?”
“Final answer.” She bit her lip and waited.
“You’re right. I hate the stuff. It stinks to high heavens.”
She let out a whoop and did a seated happy dance. “Time for some haters to hate, hate, hate in the rentals building,” she sang in her best Taylor impression.
He let out another husky chuckle at her antics and grabbed a handful of popcorn. She watched as his jaw worked while she continued to openly gloat, earning an elbow nudge of rebuke. “So, Mr. Blackwell. You thought you’d have a family of your own by now?”
Gage shifted as though suddenly uncomfortable and focused on getting another scoop of the buttery goodness. She started to retract her words but then decided to keep her mouth shut and let them hang in the air between them. Why not?
“Not the white-picket-fence kind but, yeah, kind of. Especially as I’ve watched my brothers settle down. But working the way I do doesn’t leave a lot of time for dating. And…I don’t have a lot of time to make the effort.”
“You get what you put into it,” she countered, being truthful. “If something’s important to you, you make time. Even if it means scheduling it in. Priorities, you know?”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Do you want a family? Plan to settle down? Do you date?”
Unease filled her because those questions…
She dipped her hand into the popcorn bowl but didn’t eat any of it. “I think it’s best that you don’t have someone in your life if you’re only able to give them breadcrumbs.”
“You’re right,” he said, nodding his head. “But you also avoided my questions.”