Chapter 15
Chapter 15
I arrived at Nash’s place at eleven, as arranged. I would have loved to have been able to say I had conquered my inner turmoil, but I had only managed to park my conflicting feelings about Eddie to the back of my mind, where they had begun to fester like smelly food left in the refrigerator too long.
Try as I might, I couldn’t forget the fact Eddie had called off his engagement. When did that happen? Was it before or after we bumped into one another last night? And if it was after, did I have anything to do with it? Did he do it for me?
I stood on Nash’s doorstep and tried to collect my thoughts. I needed to focus on the present, not the past. Nash was my present; Eddie was my past. He wasn’t relevant to me anymore.
“Hey, beautiful,” Nash said as he opened the door. “You look amazing.” He pulled me in for an embrace, kissing me on the lips.
I breathed in his scent, reminding myself how wonderful he was, and how, together, we had conquered my commitment-phobia. That had to mean something: something big, something important, something real.
Didn’t it?
We followed the usual routine of closing the front door before opening the door to the living room. We didn’t want any puppy escapees, and the pups had grown in ability and confidence since I first met them. As Nash swung the door open, I prepared to be mobbed—and mobbed I most certainly was. I crouched on the floor, the puppies treating me like a jungle gym, crawling all over me, licking me, their enthusiasm radiating out of their canine paws.
“You’re a hit,” Nash commented, smiling down at the six of us on the floor.
I stood back up, scooping Lucky up in my arms. She licked my neck with an enthusiasm I would love to feel today, making it tingle. She was warm and fluffy, and I couldn’t help but clutch her against my chest, enjoying our uncomplicated closeness.
Gretel, the puppies’ , nuzzled me, her tail wagging, and I patted her on the head. She looked so much healthier now. Nash had done a great job caring for her and her puppies.
“Do you want to play with the pups for a while? I’ll go get Dexter ready to go to the park.”
I tore my attention away from the lick-y, wriggly fur ball in my hands and looked at Nash. He was wearing his habitual shorts and T-shirt, a cap atop his head. My heart contracted as I looked into his smiling blue eyes. I smiled back at him. “Sure.”
I sat back down on the hardwood floor, playing with the puppies. Two of them took the opportunity to investigate their surroundings further, but Lucky stuck by me. I stroked her fur from her head to her tail. “You don’t have ex-boyfriend problems, do you?” I asked her quietly. She licked my hand in response, and I smiled at her. “No, you don’t. You’re the sensible one.”
A moment later, Nash walked into the room with Dexter on a lead. His tail whacked against the side of the armchair as he spotted me with the puppies, their still by my side.
“Shall we head off? We can leave the pups in here with Gretel now. I’ve removed any stray slippers,” Nash said with a chuckle.
“Sure.” I looked back down at Lucky. There was something about being here with her uncomplicated affection I was reluctant to leave. I picked Lucky up and gave her a light kiss atop her head, leaving a dash of lipstick. “Oh, Lucky. That won’t do at all.” I rubbed it off with my fingers as best I could before placing her back on the floor with the other puppies and her .
I pushed myself up off the floor and brushed my jeans down, ridding them of only about half the fluff the dogs had deposited there. I didn’t care in the least. I would have stayed here with them all day, if I could.
The puppies safely enclosed in the living room, Nash locked the door to the house and we walked down the driveway to his truck. As he opened the car for Dexter to jump in, I pulled my phone out of my purse. I had told myself I wouldn’t check my phone.
After the conversation Eddie and I had had earlier, it was nothing short of date suicide.
Call it a lack of adult judgment, my commitment-phobia rearing its ugly head, or just plain old-fashioned curiosity, but something told me to check my phone. As I flipped it over in my hand I saw it, the words I’d wanted from Eddie for seven years:
I made a mistake.
I blinked at the screen as another message flashed up.
I’m at our place. Meet me there. Please.
In an instant, I was back at the beach we used to go to when we were together, a beach I had never been able to return to since. That beach was the place we had first kissed, the place we had first said those three little magic, wonderful words to one another. Asking me to meet him there could only mean one thing.
He was still in love with me.
I clutched onto my phone, watching Nash opening his door. He looked over at me, his face crinkling in concern when he took in my face.
“Marissa?” A few short steps with his long legs and he was by my side. “You’ve gone pale.”
“I . . . I . . .” I stuttered. I looked down at the words on my phone, my heart thudding so loudly I was surprised Nash couldn’t hear it.
“Is it your headache? Do you need to lie down? How about a glass of water?”
Nash was trying his best to help me, but I was barely taking his words in. I knew he couldn’t help me. I knew that deep, deep down.
I looked up at him, resolved. “I have to go.”
“Can I drive you?” he offered, rubbing my arms.
A pang of guilt hit me, right in the chest. “No, I . . . I think it’s my headache. I can drive. I’ll—” What? I’ll do what? “I’ll call you later,” I managed as I took a step back from him, the lie sitting uncomfortably on my lips.
“As long as you’re sure,” Nash replied.
I forced a smile, my belly twisting. “Yes. Look, I’m sorry about this. I will call you when I’m . . . ah, feeling better.”
Without looking up into his eyes, I turned on my heel and walked the few paces to my car. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I knew I couldn’t be here with Nash. Not after Eddie’s words, not knowing he was no longer engaged. Not knowing he wanted to meet me in our special place. I had to know what it meant. I had to see him.
Without a backward glance, I started my car and pulled out, heading to the beach I once knew and loved.
And to the man I had never stopped loving.
After gripping the steering wheel so hard I was surprised I didn’t snap it in two, I pulled into the gravel park next to our old beach. The traffic over the bridge north had been light enough that I made it there in only thirty-five minutes, enough time to run through every possible scenario in my head.
I climbed out of my car, slipped off my sneakers, and walked across the golden sand of the small beach, my heart in my mouth.
I spotted Eddie sitting, looking out at the sea, his arms wrapped around his knees. His shirt was pulled taut across his strong, muscular back, his shoes dropped casually at his side.
My breathing short and shallow, I took slow, deliberate steps toward him, until I was only a few feet away.
As though sensing my presence, he turned around and looked directly at me with such longing, I swear my heart stopped. In one, swift moment, he was up on his feet, covering the short distance between us as I stood, rooted to the spot.
“Marissa,” is all he said, his intense green eyes the color of the sea.
He reached out to me and I recoiled. I wasn’t ready to be touched by him. Not yet. Maybe, not ever.
His handsome face creased into an uncertain smile. “I’m so glad you came.”
I nodded at him, biting my lip. I didn’t trust myself to speak. I barely knew what I was doing here, with him, in this place.
I needed to hear what he had to say.
Luckily, I didn’t need to wait for long.
“Marissa, I need you to know something.”
I looked intently at him, holding my breath, my hands clenched at my sides.
“It’s you, Marissa. It’s always been you.”
“Wha—what are you saying?” I breathed, scarcely believing his words.
He took my cold hand in his. Although my body stiffened at his touch, I loosened my hand out, allowing his hand to warm mine. “I’m saying, I’m still in love with you.”
My eyes grew to the size of saucers. “You’re what?”
He grinned at me, as though what he was saying was the best news in the world. “I’m still in love with you, Marissa. Without even knowing I was doing it, I have compared every woman I’ve dated since we broke up to you and they—”
“Since you left me,” I corrected, interrupting him, the memory smarting like a collective wasp sting.
He hung his head. “Yeah. Since I left you.” Looking up at me again, he added, “Something I’ve regretted every day. Marissa, don’t you see? Those other women came up short. It’s you. You’re The One.” His eyes shone, his face beaming.
I, on the other hand, was reeling, my legs rendered virtually inoperable. I regarded him, slack-jawed, trying to take in what he was telling me. He loved me. He’d always loved me. He regretted leaving me. I was The One.
I had wanted to hear him say he had made a mistake, that he should never have left me, that I was the love of his life, for so many long, long years. And now, he was finally saying it, standing on the beach, in the very spot he had first professed his love for me all those years ago.
Finally, I had what I had wanted.
“Wh-what happened to your fiancée?”
“She’s gone. It had been over for a long time, just neither of us had admitted it. And then, seeing you? Marissa, I knew I had to be with you. So, I called it off.”
My hand flew to my chest. He left his fiancée for me?
“You called off your engagement for . . . for me?”
“Yes.” His smile reached his eyes, lighting up his face, bringing back a flood of memories: the good times, the happy times, when we were in love and life felt full of possibilities.
“But . . . this wasn’t just a girlfriend. You were going to get married .”
He let out a puff of air, shifting his hand in mine. “She wasn’t right for me. It took seeing you for me to realize that. You, Marissa, wonderful, perfect you.”
My heart expanded. Wonderful, perfect me .
“So?” He questioned when I remained silent, standing there, goggling him like a stunned fish. “What do you say?”
My heart pounded as I thought of Nash—kind, fun, sweet, gorgeous Nash. I was convinced he was the guy for me, that together, we could make it.
I looked up into Eddie’s eyes. They were full of hope—and love.
In that moment, everything I had ever felt for him washed over me, lifting me up, making me see what I had been missing. The way he’d helped me grow, helped me become a woman. The way he’d made me feel so loved, so important.
He was my first love, the one I couldn’t forget. No one had come close to him.
No one had had the chance.
“I say, yes.” A smile teased the edges of my mouth until it was a full-blown, cheesy grin, spreading from ear to ear, the happiness threatening to spill right out of me.
“Really?” Eddie asked, his face alight with hope.
“Really.” I stepped into him, and he wrapped his arms around me in an embrace. When his lips touched mine, my heart felt as though it might explode.
He picked me up and spun me around as we both laughed, giddy in our rekindled love.
Being back in Eddie’s arms was everything I had ever wanted. And this time, it was going to stick. This time, we were going to be together forever.