28. Ro
The scent of spring flowers weaved around the gravestones at the cemetery, tickling my nose as a single crow watched me from the branches above. The cemetery was one of the most peaceful places in town and this afternoon, in stillness, Mom and I put the world to rights. Found some answers to my Brody-sized questions.
I’d said some awful words to him. Accused him of things he hadn’t done. Of being with women he hadn’t been with. Mom reminded me that I hadn’t sworn myself off men over the years. Not that I’d had a the same opportunities as Brody, but I hadn’t exactly shut myself away in a convent, either. He had just as much right to bring up my past. But he hadn’t. I’d been the only one acting like a child, and now I had to put it right. Let him know how sorry I was for not trusting him.
The thought of losing him again gave me the dullest ache in my chest. I didn’t expect him to welcome me back with open arms, though. I hadn’t gone to find him when I heard about his contract. It was hardly the act of a friend, but even if he couldn’t forgive me, I’d still love him. Always.
I stood and moved over to Mom’s grave, crouching down to run my fingers over the soft petals of the flowers I’d brought. “Bye, Mom. Talk soon.”
With a sigh, I turned and walked up the sloping path that led back to the road. The gravel path crunched beneath my feet, and I passed through the old steel gates, closing them behind me. When I turned back toward town, a flash of white caught my eye under the big oak tree. I squinted into the low, late afternoon sun, and my breath tottered in my chest.
Brody leaned against the old gnarled trunk, his arms folded against his chest, the smallest of smiles on his lips. He looked clean and gorgeous, and everything that had my heart wringing itself inside out yesterday. The cut of his jaw and the lean bulk of him never failed to make my breath skitter.
When he saw me, he straightened, and his blue eyes glowed. Glowed like I was the most wonderful thing he’d ever seen. Like I was a freshly glazed donut when he hadn’t eaten in days. Even from twenty paces, my cheeks heated.
I moved toward him, the faint, purple smudges under his eyes coming into focus. “You’re tired.”
He half grimaced, half smiled. “You could say that.”
I cringed. My words were woefully inadequate. The guy had just lost his career. Of course, he’d be tired and in the pits of depression, no doubt. It wasn’t as if a solid eight hours would solve all his problems.
I’d caught up on the news earlier. Brody’s team had well and truly dropped him, and most likely, his endorsements would disappear, too.
“How are you feeling?” I asked.
He gave the tiniest shake of his head. Oh, holy crap, what was wrong with me? Why was I suddenly incapable of using sensible, sophisticated words instead of awkward small talk?
“I’ll be honest. I’m not doing my best.” He cast his eyes down to his feet before bringing them back up to fix on mine. “But I have an idea what would make me feel better.”
Again, his eyes glowed with something I couldn’t quite place, and my heart pounded at their intensity.
Brody stepped toward me and took one of my hands, stroking his thumb over my knuckles.
“What?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper. The corners of his lips curved, tempting me with all the unholy dreams I’d ever had for us.
He pulled me into him. “I’m gonna explain, and I want you to listen to me. All the way to the end, okay?”
I nodded. Right now, I’d do anything he asked.
Brody smiled and closed his hand around mine. “First, we walk.”
Brody led me down the gentle hill that ran to the lake. The only sound was our footsteps on the path, but after a time, he spoke. “How was your mom?”
I smiled. “She was fine. A little salty. It’s been a few days since my last visit. She likes to gossip more regularly than my derby training schedule allows.”
Brody chuckled, and the sound made my toes curl. I cleared my throat. “How did you know where to find me?”
“Eve.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course. I’d asked her not to tell anyone where I was hiding out, not even Coop. I’d wanted time to myself, and lately, all my brother had were questions about what I was doing and whether I was doing it with Brody. “Where are we going?”
Brody squeezed my hand. “You’ll see.”
As we reached the bottom of the hill, the lake water sparkled through the trees like jewels. I’d forgotten how pretty it was down here. Tuft Swallow’s answer to Lake Como. Maybe George Clooney would buy a holiday house here, too. Take up cornhole or bird watching.
At the bottom of the hill, we stepped onto the grass that led to the jetty. “What are we doing down here?”
Brody grinned. “Do you remember when we used to come to the lake? To fish?”
“Party, more like! And I distinctly remember not being invited on those occasions.”
Again, he squeezed my hand. “We didn’t want to lead you astray.”
“But you did,” I whispered.
His head swung to me, and at the fire that flashed in his eyes, I bit my lower lip.
We walked past the boathouse and down along the creaky wooden jetty that stuck out into the lake. Someone had tied a couple of old rowboats to the pylons, and they knocked against each other in the soft breeze.
When we reached the end of the pier, Brody pulled off his jacket and laid it flat on the planks. “Take a seat.”
I searched his face. Was he serious? Didn’t he know the gauntlet I’d run if I sat anywhere near water at sunset? I’d attract every mosquito for miles around. Still, as he stood there, hands on his hips and ripples of light from the water dappling his jaw, I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do. Besides, Gran had a well-stocked medicine cabinet. What were a few welts between lovers?
Oh, how I hoped we’d be lovers. Even just once. I’d take any opportunity to quell the yearning to have him inside me.
As I settled on Brody’s jacket, I pulled in the smell of pine and freshwater. “So. What now?”
“Now, we talk.” He stared out over the water for a long beat before settling in next to me, the old wood creaking a little under his weight. “Let’s take our shoes off. Dip our toes.”
Brody reached down to pull off his sneakers. He sucked in a long breath before letting it out slowly.
“Are you okay?” I pulled off my own sneakers and lay them next to me on the pier as the cool water licked at my toes. “I’m so sorry about your team…”
Brody lay a hand on my arm. “Please, just listen. I need to get out what I have to say in one go. I’ve waited a long time to let you know how I feel about you. About us.”
I tipped my head to one side. What did he mean for a long time? He’d only been back in town a few weeks.
He pulled at a frayed strand of cotton on his jeans. “Ever since I can remember, my life revolved around hockey. Around what I wanted. The pursuit of my dreams. It’s all I’ve known. And now, everything’s over.” His bottom lip trembled as he spoke. “When a presence, a focus you’ve always had in your life, vanishes, it leaves you reeling.”
“I understand.” It wasn’t the same, but when Mom passed, the anchor in my world disappeared.
A choir of frogs took up singing in the rushes beneath us, and a muscle ticked in Brody’s jaw. He kept his eyes firmly on the horizon. “When I came back here, I wasn’t sure what would happen. If I would keep or lose my contract. How I’d feel. And I tried to be the same old Brody Flockhart everyone expected. The joker. Unshakeable. But inside,” he shook his head, “I was terrified.” He turned toward me. “And then you happened. Again. Only this time, it was different. I’m different. These last few weeks with you, I’ve realized what’s important. What truly makes me happy isn’t winning or being the best. It’s home, family and friends. And being near somebody who makes my heart so happy, I think it might burst.”
My breath skittered, and I swallowed away a peach-sized lump in my throat as his hand moved closer to mine.
“You’ve always made me happy, Ro. When you kissed me all those years ago, it felt so right. So perfect.” His eyes darkened a little. “So hot. But then worries and voices came crashing into my head, telling me I had to be smart. Stay focused. So many people pinned their dreams on me, too. Mum, Dad, my coach. And then there was Coop. I knew how protective he was of you. All your brothers. Your gran. And I’d never want them to think I’d taken advantage of you.”
Brody shifted a little beside me and dipped his head. “And then I got your note. You called the kiss a mistake. Something never to be repeated. Talked about our lives and the different paths we’d follow. Gave all the reasons we shouldn’t be anything more than friends. I’ll admit, your words hurt.”
My heart skipped, and a bitter taste rushed into my mouth. “I’m sorry.” If only he knew how much. In one hasty note, I’d never given the two of us a chance. But I hadn’t known how much my heart would rip when he left.
Brody brought his head back up. “Don’t be. On some levels, you were right. I had to leave town. I had people’s hopes riding on me. My own dreams to shoot for. And say we’d taken things further, dated even. College and hockey consumed me. I spent all my time training. We’d hardly have seen each other. It wouldn’t have been fair to you, and I never wanted you to feel you played second fiddle to my career.” Brody ran his fingers over the back of my hand. “I never wanted you to feel that you weren’t enough. That I didn’t care enough to be around.”
“But that’s just what you did. You never replied to my note. Even if you’d said you agreed with me, it would have been better than me not knowing how you felt.”
“Fuck.” Brody’s voice tottered, like there was a crease that needed ironing out. “I replied. I just never sent it. Call me a coward, but I was too scared to tell you how much I cared. How much you meant to me.” He turned, his blue eyes boring into what felt like my soul. “And I’ll always regret it.”
His brow creased, and he let go of my hand, searching his pocket. After a long beat, he brought out his wallet. He opened it and pulled out a small folded piece of paper. It looked like it’d been there since the dinosaurs roamed the earth. He handed it to me. “I kept the note I wrote you. I’ve carried it around with me. I want you to take it and read it when you’re alone. And if you ever doubt how much I care, just remember the words inside.” He pressed the square of paper into my palm and closed my hand around it.
I nodded and, with a tiny smile, slipped the note into my pocket. It would burn a hole in my shorts until I opened it.
“Have you said everything you want to?” I asked, my heart thumping like a kettledrum in my chest.
He huffed a breath and nudged his giant shoulder gently into mine. “I’ve only just started. I’m in awe of you, Ro. You bring the sunshine into the day. Please give me another chance. I’ll be whatever you need me to be. Do whatever you want me to do. Just say we can try. Even if I had my contract back tomorrow, I’d ask for the same thing.”
I looked up at Brody, and he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. The tenderness, the soft glow in his eyes, made my chest contract.
“This feels like home.” He nodded to the lake and the roofs of the town that peeped over the treetops. “You’re my home, and I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be.”
As I drowned in his eyes, I chewed at my lip. It would be so easy to tuck my fears away, ask no questions, and kiss the living crap out of him right here on the jetty. But Mom had said that I should get the answers I needed before I fully opened my heart to Brody. “Now it’s my turn.”
Brody gave the smallest of nods before intertwining his fingers through mine. With blood screaming in my ears, I began. “I’m sorry for not trusting you yesterday. For assuming the worst. I think deep down, you’d never knowingly hurt me.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“Still. I had no right to question who you saw and what you were doing. Even if it was with that unspeakably gorgeous supermodel journalist friend of yours.”
The corners of his mouth ticked up a little. Thank goodness he’d seen the humor in my words. I’d thought long and hard about what I’d seen them do together, and it was nothing more than having a coffee and a hug. Things I’d do with my close friends, male or female. Hell, I’d even hugged a goat in the town square. That his friend had pore-free skin and perfect brows didn’t mean he’d automatically succumb to any of her other charms.
Brody brushed his thumb over my knuckles. “Nobody is as beautiful as you. You’re perfect.”
At those words, my heart almost exploded into a giant confetti ball on the spot. It was all I’d ever wanted to hear, but Mom sat on my shoulder, being all wise and practical. Not wanting me to fall for pretty words. She wanted me to finish the speech we’d prepared together. As I steeled myself, a gentle breeze kissed my cheeks from across the lake.
“And with Millan and the Scalpers. I’m guessing you didn’t make a deal.”
He shook his head. “Honestly, I hadn’t. I called and told him about you, but only because I was so proud of what you could do. Any offer Millan made to you had nothing to do with me. You’re incredible, Ro. Everything you do. I wish you’d see that.”
“Incredible? With my cheer team? My silly Etsy store?”
“It’s not silly.”
“I’m sure that’s what you called it back in the diner when you first arrived.”
“That was unfair of me. I’m sorry. I was trying to make you laugh.”
I tutted, “Well, even if my store isn’t silly, there’s someone out there in the world waiting for four sets of owls that still look like mutated Christmas puddings.”
Brody chuckled. “They won’t mind.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure. Customers can be demanding! Someone’s paid for those owls.”
“I promise, they won’t mind.”
I tightened my brows. Who was he to be giving business advice? “You can’t possibly know that.”
He looked away before the smallest frown marred his forehead. “I do know.”
I scoffed. “Go ahead, Mr. Bigshot moneymaker. Tell me how.”
Brody closed his eyes. “Because I ordered them.” His voice was barely a whisper.
“Sorry, what?”
“I bought your owls.”
My mind swam. “Why would you buy four sets of owls?”
He opened his eyes back up, and I’d be damned if his cheeks weren’t lit pink. The coolest guy, the biggest dude in the NHL, was blushing like a virgin over crochet birds. “I’ve bought a couple of things before that, too.”
My mouth hung open. “Are you serious?”
Brody shrugged.
“Oh, holy crap. You are! Why the hell?”
“It’s simple. I missed you. We didn’t speak after I left, so I’d ask Coop what you were up to. One day, he mentioned you’d opened an online store, so I checked it out.”
“And you bought something?”
A grin spread across Brody’s lips. “A penguin. With purple eyes.” He chuckled. “It looked a little crazy. Reminded me of you.”
I batted at him with the hand he wasn’t holding.
“When I felt lonely or a little down, I’d go online and check out what you’d made. I have no idea why. I mean, I wanted to see you do well. Succeed. But maybe I wanted a little part of you with me, too. Either way, I kept buying. First, there was a little robin, then a duck, and an emu. Your birds have their own drawer in my bedside cabinet. I’m a regular customer.”
I shook my head, a slow burn of energy moving across my chest. “That can’t be right. I don’t have any orders from an address in Denver.”
“I use a post office box in Tennessee. Get the packages forwarded on.”
I widened my eyes. “That’s you? I just thought it was some old lady who had a lot of grandkids to buy for.”
He laughed and gave me a sheepish smile. “I knew you’d probably think I was buying them for some weird reason. Like I felt sorry for you. But truly? Buying your birds made me feel good. They were the nearest thing I had to you.”
It wasn’t quite a stalker move, though his revelation did verge on worrying. If he was the customer I was thinking of, he’d kept me afloat for a few months last year. He said it wasn’t a pity move, and when I looked up into his azure eyes, I really didn’t care. It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me.
As the last warm rays of sun dipped behind the trees, I turned into Brody, tracing my fingers down the lean shadow of his cheekbone. I reached up and gently pressed my lips against his, just like I’d done all those years ago. When he returned their pressure, my heart sang, and I let out a tiny sigh. At the sound, he opened his mouth to me, and our tongues met.
He’d said I felt like home to him, but if that was the case, his kiss was where I wanted to move in and take up residence. It was unhurried, deep, and blissful. I curled one hand around the back of his neck, drawing him in. He tasted so good, so perfect, that I almost cried out when he pulled away from me.
“I almost forgot!” Brody took his hands from my face and fumbled around in his pockets again. This time, he brought out a little package tied with a green ribbon. “I need to explain something before you open it, though.”
He looked deep into my eyes. “I know you wanted a pair of crochet gloves. And I tried. I mean, really tried. But after I’d started, then unpicked the stitches for the eighth time, I was about ready to burn every ball of yarn in the county. And please, never tell your brother I picked up a crochet hook, but I made you this.” He reached for my hand and placed the gift in my palm, closing his hand over the top.
Coop. In my happiness, I’d forgotten all about him. What would he say about Brody and me? “We have to tell him. Not about the gloves, but about us.”
Brody smiled. “It’s okay. I spoke to Coop. Told him everything. He threatened to cut off my balls if I ever hurt you, but apart from that, he was okay with the two of us. Happy. I just hope he can convince your other brothers I’m a solid guy. I’d rather not have to grow a beard and go on the run.”
A huge searing burn of energy rushed through my chest, and my heart almost burst out of my mouth, as if it would break out and dance for joy right there in the water. Coop was our last obstacle. If he was happy for the two of us, Gran would be, too. Besides, she loved Brody almost as much as my brother and I.
I smiled and looked up at him from under my lashes. “Thank you for talking to him. He didn’t think the two of us together would be weird? Like it would interrupt the bromance the two of you’ve had all these years.”
Brody huffed. “No weirder than me doing crochet. I promise he was fine. Please. Open the package.”
I tugged at the little ribbon, then unwrapped the pink tissue paper it bound. Inside lay a single crochet chain in pink yarn. I looked at Brody. “What is it?”
He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “I went to see the scary dude at the crash repair shop today. GI Joe. He’s actually a really nice guy. Not big on conversation, but it surprised me you never dated him. Did Mrs. Woodcock have something against his biceps? Too corrupting?”
I gave Brody a stiff nudge with my elbow. “Stop it!”
He grinned back at me. “I’ve missed the way you say that. I asked him for some yarn from his goat to make you a gift.”
“From Winston?”
“Yes. That little fella is kind of growing on me.”
I brought my brows together and smoothed out the chain against my palm to examine the stitches.
“Each link in the chain represents one year that I’ve known you.”
I tightened my eyes, running them over the yarn. There were twenty. Even though I’d known him for most of my life, Brody had moved to town after I was born. Twenty stitches, each one of a different size. I lifted the corners of my mouth. “I suggest you check your tension.”
Brody leaned further into me, bringing his lips near to my ear. The warmth of his body pulsed through the thin fabric of my T-shirt. “Believe me, I’ve been feeling nothing but tension around you, but…” He picked up the chain and took my hand again, holding it out in front of me. “Hold still,” he whispered.
Brody took the knotted links and carefully tied the chain around my middle finger.
I sucked in a wavering breath. Just this simple gesture was a promise. A bond.
He cleared his throat, the noise a low burr that made my toes curl in the water. “I know it’s not quite what I promised, but I want you to know how much I love you.”
At his words, my heart pulsed like an exploding supernova. I looked up at him, my gaze bouncing from one blue eye to the other. They were full of that special glow he always had when he looked at me. But they held something else, too. Something deeper, truer. Solid.
“I’ve loved you since I can remember, Ro, but I’ve been selfish. Please, let me make it up to you. Let me show you we’re better when we’re together. If you’ll have me, I want to stay here with you, in Tuft Swallow. I want us to grow old together, watching birds and tossing cornhole sacks until the end of our days.”
I chewed on my bottom lip. Who cared about making anything up to me? This gorgeous man. My friend. He was offering me everything I’d ever dreamed of. But there had to be a catch. Surely, he couldn’t just forget hockey like that. It’d been his life for so long. “What about...?”
Brody brought his hand to my cheek, brushing his thumb along its plane. He made a sound like he was calming a baby. “We have our whole lives to work out the details. I just care about right now. Where we are today.” The corners of his lips trembled. “And considering I’m the only single man under thirty in town who hasn’t been on a date with you. I’d kind of like to sign up for the club.”
I grinned, turning into his hand as it rested on my cheek. “I don’t know. The membership is pretty exclusive. There’s a heavy vetting process to go through.”
His smile matched my own, the corners of his eyes crinkling tight. “Oh, I think I’m ready to get heavy with you.”
With a chuckle, I shifted my body, bringing my feet out of the water. I turned into him and gripped his massive shoulders before pulling myself onto his lap. For the longest beat, I stayed there, straddling him, our breath mingling, until finally, I closed my eyes and kissed him.
This time, though, there was no room for gentleness or hesitation. I needed to claim him. Taste him. Own him. The second my lips crashed into his, my world erupted into stars, fireworks, and pure hunger.
Just like that night in my room, my body became its own mistress, and all I could do was hang on for dear life and follow. As our tongues played together, blood sang in my ears, and my lungs struggled to pull in enough air. A slow ache hit low in my belly, and I ground against him to satisfy the tug. The need.
I wound my arms around his neck, and he pulled me in close, his hard chest strong and protective. The skin at my fingertips prickled to touch him, and I ran my hands across his chest, finding his neck with my lips.
“Fuck, Ro,” he gasped as I shifted on top of him, his voice husky and tight. He dragged his hands down my arms to settle at my waist. “Wait. We have to wait.”
I begged to differ. “We’ve waited long enough,” I ground out, my mouth at his throat.
Brody tugged in a breath as I gently bit the soft flesh there. “Oh, believe me, I know. But I wouldn’t put it past old Mrs. Woodcock and her gang of crazed bird stalkers to have their binoculars trained on us right now.”
“I don’t care.” My fingertips were at the lean muscles of his waist. I pulled at his T-shirt, tugging it away from his jeans.
He gave the tiniest of moans, bringing his hands down to grasp mine. “You may not care, but according to your brother, I need to uphold your good name around town. I’m not sure open-air jetty sex is on his list of acceptable activities.”
He tensed underneath me. “Please, Ro. I really don’t want to mess up our being together in Coop’s eyes. I need to play by his rules. Just a little.”
I let out a sigh against his skin. Why, oh why, had I chosen to fall for my slightly overprotective brother’s chivalrous best friend?
I sighed. At least Brody wanted to do the right thing, no matter how frustrating. I didn’t know many men who would have such scruples in the circumstances. I pulled away from him. “You’re a cruel man, Brody Flockhart.”
His brow creased, but then a flash of something passed over his face like he’d discovered the secret of eternal youth. “Hold up, I have an idea.”
Brody gripped the outside of my arms and lifted me gently away to the side. He placed me down on the gnarled wood of the jetty and ran his eyes over my face. I raised my hand to touch his cheek, but before I could, he gave me the cheekiest grin I’d ever seen. Then he leaned in, kissed my forehead, and disappeared over the side with a gentle splash.