Chapter 6
“Some people say unrequited love doesn’t exist.
It can’t be called a true love because love requires two people to have feelings for each other.
Everything else is just a delusion.
Funny, isn’t it?
No matter how much your soul aches…
You can never speak about it.
Because even the world has no place for your heartbreak.”
Jimena
From Jimena’s emails to Florian…
Hi Florian!
I promised to write to you while you’re away, spending your summer in Europe and enjoying every minute of it (according to my brother, who kept showing me your pictures).
It was a little secret between us, one among many.
The kind where you told me to express all my emotions if something bothered me, and you’d always find a way to listen. You even bribed one of the guards to take my letters (in case my computer stops working or I don’t figure out how to write an email) and deliver them to you no matter where you are in the world.
Well, I’m very sad and hurt right now, Florian.
My heart aches, breaking into tiny little pieces while tears drip on the keyboard, so I have to wipe them away with a tissue. (Sorry in advance for all grammar mistakes!)
As you know…I’m playing harp, and I love it.
The minute my eyes landed on the instrument all those years ago, I was mesmerized by it and stayed glued to it ever since. Even now, my fingers itch to drum some strings and listen to the sweetest of melodies that always manage to calm me down.
In my music school, we have a show tomorrow where each one of us gets to perform on the stage in front of all the parents and family friends.
I was so excited, practicing all the time, and couldn’t wait to show off all my skills to everyone.
Today, though, my dreams were crushed.
During breakfast, Pápá and Santiago had a huge fight (as always) that resulted in Santiago leaving and taking our private plane to Italy, where, apparently, he decided to spend a whole week with Remi and Octavius.
Mama cried for hours and locked herself in a studio while Pápá took an impromptu business trip, probably so they wouldn’t fight some more because nothing they do ever works for my brother.
They forgot…
They all forgot about their promise to attend my show.
It hurts so much, Florian.
To always be the invisible child because their eldest one’s hurting all the time.
Of course I smiled. And pretended that I was happy and even managed to get Mommy to have dinner with me, and the whole time, I hoped…
Hoped for her to remember that tomorrow is my show, but she never mentioned it. Just said that we would go somewhere once she finished her latest art piece, and you know how long it takes once she’s in the process…
I’m all alone, Florian.
My first performance and there will be no one but Pablo and George to keep me company (they remembered and tried to reassure me, not that it helped).
I know I probably shouldn’t say this, and I feel so bad for saying it anyway.
Because what happened to him was horrible, and he has every right to lash out.
Yet…I can’t help but feel this inferno consuming my soul whenever he acts out and all his outbursts affect me.
Sometimes…
Sometimes I hate my brother.
As his internal scars hurt everyone, but most of all me.
And it’s a secret I can never tell anyone but you.
From Florian’s emails to Jimena…
Wipe away your tears, princess, and wear your prettiest dress for tomorrow’s performance.
You won’t be there alone because I’ll be in the crowd.
You didn’t think I’d miss it, did you?
While you do all that…forgive your brother for being selfish.
As sometimes selfishness is our only source of comfort when madness and agony imprison our souls.
Jimena
“Hotness overload.” Luna fans herself while sweeping her gaze over the guys, and we step away from my parents. “They’re responsible for a lot of my dreams, if you know what I mean.” She wiggles her brows at me as I finish my drink. “It’s a crime that none of them are taken.” She sighs, pressing her glass to her cheek. “Such good genes going to waste.”
I make a face at her while grabbing a pecan from the nearby table and popping it in my mouth, needing to munch on something as nervousness washes over me because they move toward us at full speed, ready to welcome me back home. “Control yourself, woman. One of them is my brother, and I do not want to hear how hot he is.” I shudder in disgust, and she laughs, reaching for the peaches, but deep down, I know she feels nothing for them.
One of the reasons she’s my best friend, compared to most girls in my circle, is that she never tried to befriend me to get close to one of the guys.
“I’m surprised you’re not sprinting to Florian and jumping in his arms like you’ve always done.” She frowns and narrows her eyes on me while I munch on another nut, hoping my blank expression gives nothing away.
Confessing my little secret, even to my best friend, seems like such a disaster so I prefer to keep my mouth shut.
Being pathetic and idiotic is one thing. Letting people know that about yourself is quite another.
We Cortezes are very proud people, and my pride holds me together as my heart breaks over and over again into tiny little pieces the closer they get.
Have you lost your mind, Jimena? What the fuck are you doing?
My hands clench at the familiar harsh voice in my ears, pulling me back to a time one year ago when I gambled on love and lost. The invisible scars imprinted on my soul are still hurting, and sometimes it feels as if nothing would ever heal them.
Because I lost the one person who was always there for me, and in this, I became truly alone. And is there a scarier feeling than that of loneliness?
“I’m nineteen now, and he’s thirty. I don’t think it’s appropriate to do that. Might start unwanted rumors.”
She blinks at my excuse. “Rumors? What kind of rumors? That you’re in love with him or something?” She barks out a laugh, snagging another peach, and freezes as her jaw drops. “Oh no. Jimena!”
I have no time to respond to her realization because my brother reaches us in two short strides and lifts me up in a hug. “Hola, hermanita.” His deep voice eases some of my earlier anxiety, and he places me back on the floor, palming my head and grinning at me. “Cómo estás?” Like always, all his attention focuses on me whenever this question leaves his mouth, daring me to lie to him.
Something I’ve never learned to do, and as a result, a lot of people got their asses kicked whenever they upset me. Santiago takes protectiveness to another level.
Covering his hands on my cheeks with mine, I muster up all my courage and say the truth, even if it’s still a lie in some way. “Happy to be back home.”
“That’s where you belong.” He kisses me on the forehead. “Let’s have breakfast together tomorrow, all right?”
My brother might be an asshole to everyone around him, but he has a soft spot for me, so despite the guilt rocking me, I nod. “Sure. But you need to behave tonight.” His body grows tense next to me as indifference settles on his features, alarming and scary in its nature, and I’m glad I’m his little sister.
Otherwise, his ruthlessness could have been aimed at me, and I’m not sure I would have gotten out alive from that particular confrontation.
“Quit hogging her, Santiago. Come here, girl.” Remi snatches me away and gives me his own dose of hugs. “How was Europe? Broke a lot of hearts?” he teases and chuckles when Santiago punches him in the gut at the suggestion. I roll my eyes. “Since we missed your last birthday, I have a gift for you.” He takes out keys from his back pocket and dangles them in the air, the clicking sound music to my ears as excitement fills me. “Remember what I promised you all those years ago?”
“Oh my God!” I wrap my palm around the chain. “You promised me a motorcycle.” I jump up and down. “I can’t believe you did this.”
“Not just a bike, princess. One of the best on the market and specially designed for you. It has your initials and everything. Limited edition navy-blue color.” He winks at me. “The best of the best for my Jimena.”
“Awww! That’s so sweet.” I kiss him on the cheek and dangle the keys some more. “Where is it? I need to get to it as soon as possible.”
The wind in my hair as a sense of power and freedom wash over me while I don’t have a care in the world is exactly what I need. I can always count on Remi to provide a distraction for me.
He treats me like the little sister he never had but he always respects my wishes and never tries to limit me in any way.
Even though I know he looms in the shadows, ready to protect me from whatever the world might throw my way.
“Over my dead body,” Santiago mutters, ready to steal the keys from me, but I step back. “Jimena, there is no way in hell you’ll be riding that bike.”
“Says who? I got my license last year.” Among other things, but he doesn’t need to know about them. If it were up to my brother, he’d forever keep me sheltered, never allowing me to explore anything he didn’t agree with.
“You go, girl,” Luna says, raising her hand up in the air, so I high-five it, which earns me a deeper scowl from Santiago. “Hi, guys.”
“Where is Vincent?” Remi asks her, putting his empty whiskey glass on the table and picking up two pecans. “Since when does he allow you to roam around without helicoptering your every move?”
So it’s not just me who finds it strange that he does that? Remi noticing this when he mostly gives zero shit about people around him unless he can use them in some way speaks volumes.
“He has no idea I’m here. I ran away,” she says proudly, puffing her chest out, which earns her no reaction from them.
Then again, rarely anyone gets anything from them besides a bored glance here and there. Even that is considered a lot, as most people huff in dismay at their indifference and cold attitude.
Especially women, although no one knows much about them because they never show up with anyone in public.
At least my bruised heart has some reprieve from agony.
“Jimena.” Octavius squeezes my shoulder, turning my attention to him because, in his language, that equals a super long embrace. “I’m happy to see you.”
“Thank you, Octavius. How is Estella?”
“Good. Raising triplets is an adventure in itself.” A rare smile flashes across his lips. “I’m going to say hi to your parents. Make sure to take all the photos on that bike. Seeing your brother’s face will be a glorious moment.”
Ah, how could I forget?
Santiago gifted Estella her first sports car. It drove Octavius insane back in the day, while my brother found it hilarious. I guess payback indeed is a bitch.
“Will do. I’ll print some for you as well.”
“I knew I liked you for a reason.”
“Ah, hermanita. You know nothing about loyalty.” Santiago traps my nose between his fingers and pinches it, so I slap his hand away, rubbing the abused flesh. “We’ll talk about this tomorrow.”
“We can if you want, but I won’t change my mind.” I step back before he can pinch me again. “Stop it, Santiago. I’m not ten anymore.”
I’m just wasting my breath saying that, though, because they all treat me like a little sibling. Shouldn’t that have been a clue for me a year ago?
Focus on the present, Jimena. Only the present.
Octavius walks off in the direction of our parents as Remi follows him along with Santiago, but I grab my brother’s sleeve, halting his movements. “Please be nice.”
He stiffens, the earlier amusement replaced with the familiar tension growing rapidly by the second. His eyes flash a warning that probably would have made anyone else run in fear, but not me.
He’s incapable of hurting me, so I push despite knowing better. “It’s important for them. Could you please try to control your temper?” The muscle on his jaw tics, and I take a deep breath. “It would mean the world to both of them, especially Mom.” I use the one leverage that always works in my favor.
Once upon a time, my brother chose Dad as his punching bag to have an outlet for the constant rage existing in him, but Mom is a different story.
For her, he tries as best as he can, and for a monster like him…that’s the highest display of emotions. “I’ll do my best. That’s all I can promise.” I open my mouth to argue, but he shuts me up. “Enough.”
My insides clench at his order, so letting him go, I nod, casting my gaze down and hoping he won’t see how much those words hurt me.
I gladly would have known my place if he and Dad weren’t a ticking time bomb ready to erupt at any moment and ruin everything around them.
“I’m going to grab a sandwich,” Luna whispers. Patting me on the back, she rushes off to the dining room.
Exhaling heavily and preparing to play the charade, aka the perfect daughter who controls the entire situation so everyone can be happy, I straighten up. Only to freeze when my eyes clash with green ones, looking so intensely into me like he wishes to memorize every part of me.
Florian.
The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. “You’re still here.” I expected him to go with everyone else and avoid me at all costs. At least that was my plan for the evening, which shouldn’t have been so hard.
We rarely mingle in the same crowd during such events and haven’t seen each other for over a year. Not that it means anything to my traitorous heart that does several flips inside my chest, crying out in joy at seeing him. Warmth envelops me, the fire igniting my veins.
What exactly made you think I’d want it, Jimena?
“Maybe I’m waiting for my hug.” The deep and husky voice tears me away from the painful memories, and a raspy breath escapes me at the mockery in his tone while a burning sensation slides over me, a bitter taste filling my mouth and reminding me that what we once had is truly over.
I ruined the only bond that ever mattered in my life, so I guess I have to face the consequences.
Plastering an even wider smile that hurts my lips, I lift my chin and internally applaud myself for keeping my voice even when hurtful waves hit me all at once. “Don’t worry, Florian. I’ve learned my lesson.” Surprise flashes in his eyes, so I continue, wanting to get it all out. Only then will I be able to focus on what’s important.
My family’s celebration and watching Santiago like a hawk.
Besides, hiding my head in the sand and pretending our kiss didn’t happen would have been childish and cowardly. Bravery has many shapes and forms in this world.
Sometimes it’s understanding that the love that consumes you is not wanted or needed, and you have to fix your mess. “I apologize for crossing the line. It won’t happen again.”
One rejection was enough, thank you very much. Some might argue that I’ve been rejected all my life in different forms, not that anyone would ever admit to it.
My whole existence is one giant mistake and coincidence, and somehow everyone expects me to function normally with that knowledge.
The air hitches in my throat when he steps closer, his masculine scent mixed with tobacco washing over me. Goose bumps break out over my skin when he leans closer, his hot breath fanning my cheek. A tremor travels down my spine, awakening every hair on my body when he whispers into my ear, “You shouldn’t do that, princess.”
His voice, akin to silk, glides over my skin, leaving tickling sensations in its wake and wrapping around my throat, forcing me to listen to it even if it has the power to drag me to my doom.
For there is no reprieve from him.
Licking my dry lips, I ask, “What?”
“Make promises you can’t keep.” My gasp rocks between us when he kisses me on the cheek, his burning touch leaving an invisible print that would haunt me for days. “Welcome back home, princess. You’ve been missed.” A chuckle rumbles his throat, sending me deeper into the maddening spiral. “Everything will change now.”
He straightens up and walks off toward our parents, wrapping my mother into a tight hug and twirling her around as she laughs. Aunt Calliope slaps him on the back before he gives her a hug as well, while I’m still frozen to the spot.
The earlier tremor I felt intensifies for a different reason.
Because what Florian just said?
It’s a warning of an upcoming war or vengeance that will be hideous and horrible.
The simmering anger lingered on every syllable he spoke, and his signature easygoing smile was nonexistent as his emerald orbs blazed with fury and hatred, which meant only one thing.
He hasn’t forgiven me, and he intends for me to suffer. After all, no one fucks with a Price without expecting retribution, right?
I questioned his honor as a son, godson, and best friend when I kissed him and confessed my feelings under the mistletoe.
So I’ll have to pay the price with mine.
If there is one thing Florian Price follows…
Is an eye for an eye.
And God help me figure out what he will find equal enough to wipe away the offense.