Chapter Eighteen
‘I’ll be in touch, hey?’ Lilly was saying as she squeezed me to her. ‘I’ll get sick of the west coast sooner or later and when I move here, I’ll be calling you.’
‘Great.’ I smiled. I didn’t believe her.
These sorts of activities bonded people over a very short window in a very specific situation – they rarely translated into relationships that actually continued in day-to-day normality.
But even with my terrible social skills, I wasn’t going to outright say so.
We were back at the TAFE carpark, where the whole thing had started a mere five days ago.
It felt like weeks. I’d experienced a lifetime’s worth of emotions.
When everyone had located their bags, Felix didn’t bother offering to stay and unload, just gave me a disdainful look and walked off with Morgan.
Abel shook his head as we watched them go. ‘He really is fucking useless.’
After a bunch of hugs and false promises of all the times we’d continue to catch up, the others departed and it was just Abel and me left.
We loaded the crates back into the store room at the TAFE and I remembered the way I’d felt when we’d been loading up before the trip.
How little I knew of this man. How grouchy I’d taken him to be.
And how I would have laughed in the face of anyone who might have forecasted what would happen between us.
Even though nothing had actually happened, just a handful of occasions of him being friendly that I’d probably never be able to forget for the rest of my fucking life.
‘So,’ I said when we were finished and the bus was parked back in its usual spot. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I rested them on my lower back in the waistband of my tights.
‘So.’ He was leaning against a post, arms crossed nonchalantly over his chest, legs crossed at the ankles. If the photographer for Macpac walked past right now they’d start snapping.
‘Well.’ I didn’t know how we were supposed to farewell. A hug? No way. Too dangerous. ‘Thanks for … everything. I’ll see you round, I’m sure.’
And then, I surprised both of us with an absolutely jaw-droppingly awkward choice of movements by offering to shake his hand. Before my arm was even fully extended, I realised my mistake.
Abel threw his head back and gave a full bellied laugh. ‘A handshake?’
I was already withdrawing my arm, shame enveloping me, but he’d grabbed my hand in his enormous one and was shaking it enthusiastically.
‘Wow. Contrary Mary, you are absolutely one of a kind.’
I tried to break his grip, but it was firm. And I was laughing too, even within my utter humiliation. ‘Shut up!’
‘I cannot even remember the last time I’ve shaken hands with a colleague.’
He was almost doubled over in enjoyment and kept on shaking my hand. And then, just as I imagined how sweet it would be if the ground opened up and swallowed me, he pulled me to him, his arms gathering me tight against his chest. I couldn’t have moved even if I’d wanted to.
‘I’ll see you later, sugarplum,’ he murmured into my hair.
When he let me go, I gave a small wave and turned on my heel.
It was for the best. Now life could go back to its normal state. I could get on with my study and searching for a place to live and see how Mum and Ebony were going—
‘Hey, Mary,’ Abel called before I was even out of the carpark.
I turned.
He was still leaning on the post, like he’d been watching me walking away for the last fifteen seconds. ‘Do you need a lift somewhere?’
‘I’m fine, thanks.’ I waved again and kept walking, but I could feel his eyes nearly burning holes in my back.
Another twenty metres and I heard the slap of his footsteps running on the concrete behind me.
‘You have a car somewhere?’
‘No. It’s not far. I’m happy walking.’
He looked dubious. ‘You said you lived in West Hobart, right?’
‘Uh-huh.’
‘My car is literally right here. Why won’t you let me drive you home?’
All the reasons flashed through my brain. Because I like you. Because you’re perfect. Because any longer in your gorgeous presence is going to fuck with me so bad I’ll probably do something stupid.
‘Um …’
He rolled his eyes and grabbed my arm, guiding me back into the carpark. ‘Come on. Don’t overthink it.’
Okay, so I was getting a lift. He was right. It was no big deal.
His car was tidy, but not clean. A silver Subaru with the telltale signs of gravel roads on its sides and the beach in its floor mats. It smelt like salt and moss and rivers – and Abel.
I felt very conscious of how much I was in his space. The neutrality of the course was gone and I was sitting in his car, being driven by him. It felt all very intimate. All too soon. Again.
‘You know, I really need a house-sitter, if you’re looking for somewhere to stay for a bit?’
‘What?’ I said, unable to conceal how appalled I was by his suggestion.
‘I’m away a lot. My cat needs feeding. If you wanted to stay somewhere, it’d help me out.’
I just stared at the dashboard. How could he possibly think that was a wise idea? Did he have no clue how completely gone for him I was?
‘Uh. No, thank you,’ I said robotically. I didn’t have it in me to think of a more gracious response.
‘Sorry.’ He almost laughed. ‘Didn’t mean to shock you. Just thought maybe it would be a win-win for both of us.’
I didn’t respond until, scrambling for a subject change, I said, ‘Where do you go?’
‘Lots of places. Tomorrow, I go to the Grampians for a fortnight. Climbing trip. Next month, a retrieval locum in Vic and then New South Wales.’
I grunted. Sounded tediously adventurous.
The drive was short and soon we’d arrived at Vivian’s.
‘Thank you. That was very nice of you,’ I said before I could consider my wording.
He just raised an eyebrow teasingly. ‘Here,’ he said, getting out of the car. ‘Let me take your bag.’
‘It’s really fine. It’s not heavy.’
‘Okay. Let me walk you in. I want to see how bad this joint really is.’
‘Trust me,’ I said wearily, ‘it would be better for all, especially me and my ego, if you didn’t witness my current housing situation.’
He laughed but made no effort to leave, only gestured for me to lead the way.
I sighed. We walked past the naked man fountain, past the bird baths, the wind chimes, the dogs and finally arrived at my tin shed.
With someone else’s fresh eyes on the whole situation it struck me anew just how ludicrous it really was.
My heart sank with embarrassment. Why had I agreed to him showing me to my door?
‘Wow,’ he muttered. ‘You weren’t kidding about the wind chimes.’
I just shot him a glare. ‘Please. Can you not make any more unhelpful observations.’ I stopped, my hand on the cold metal door knob. ‘Can we say goodbye now? You cannot possibly want to witness the inside of my room.’
He was smiling now, a highly amused smile. ‘Oh, I think I really do, Mary.’
‘You’re such a pain in the arse. You know that?’ But I didn’t have the energy to protest, nor any ongoing sense of what was appropriate or normal social conduct between friends or colleagues – or whatever the fuck we were right now.
The door squeaked and I pulled it open.
‘Wow.’ He kicked off his shoes and walked straight in.
He did a spin, his smile unrestrained. ‘Amazing.’ He walked to the futon with its purple velvet throw and plonked himself right on it, feet resting atop the coffee table’s Turkish-style tablecloth, eyes continuing to take in his surrounds with utter delight. ‘This is fantastic.’
I stood there, hands on my hips, glaring at him. ‘You’re finding this really fucking funny, aren’t you?’ A smile threatened at the corner of my mouth too, because it was funny. But I forced it down and tried to keep my features stern.
‘Yes. Sorry. But it’s brilliant.’
He pointed to a plastic tubing device that I’d stuffed in the corner but which had once taken pride of place on the coffee table. ‘And that is most definitely a bong. Yours?’
‘Have you come in here just to humiliate me?’
‘I’m empathising with you.’
I glared some more.
‘And also gathering supporting material for my suggestion that you should really come and house-sit for me while I’m away.’
‘Fuck off.’ He was such trouble.
The dogs barked for effect. Then a gust of wind set the wind chimes in motion. Abel just laughed. That deep, beautiful laugh that drove me crazy.
‘One cat, Mary. Just imagine. One quiet, self-sufficient cat.’
‘I’m not interested, Abel.’
‘And double-glazed windows.’
‘I’m fine here.’
‘And a functioning kitchen.’ He looked around, taking in the bar fridge and the single gas burner. ‘Do you even have a sink?’
‘It’s outside,’ I said through gritted teeth.
‘Or a bathroom?’
‘Abel,’ I warned.
His smile was broad and boyish as he patted the futon beside him. ‘Come sit with me. Let’s take in our surrounds.’
With no clue what else I was going to do except stand there and glare at him, I conceded and sat myself on the couch beside him.
‘You really have a thing for dream catchers, don’t you?’ He nodded towards the windows, where about twenty cobwebby dream catchers obscured the very little light that came into the room.
I flicked at his thigh, because he was being so—
He grabbed me by my wrists and we began wrestling, and I don’t know if he did it or if I did, but I was on my knees, being pulled onto him until I was literally straddling him on the futon couch.
Uh-oh.
I stared down at him, my chest heaving, and I had to tell it to steady the hell up.
‘Well. I think your “Granny Flat” has a certain charm,’ he said, but his voice had lost its jokey edge and his teasing eyes had darkened. His fingers loosened on my wrists and gently travelled to my hands, threading between mine.
My heart thumped. ‘You’re a really distracting man, you know that?’
‘Hmm?’ His murmur was half question, half grunt.
‘I have an exam to study for.’
‘Oh, yeah?’
‘And a house to look for.’
‘Okay.’ He swallowed and rested his head back on the couch, his eyes slightly glazed, like he wasn’t listening to a word I was saying.