Chapter Twenty-three
I was studying at the kitchen table the following day when I heard the door open and the sound of Abel coming down the corridor. I felt my body begin to glow, like I was a lamp and just the knowledge of his presence was enough to make me shine.
I stopped my work when he walked into the room, but he barely made eye contact with me.
‘You’re here again,’ I said, hoping for a teasing quality. ‘Better be careful now, Abel, or I might think we’re actually living in the same house.’
He met my eye for the briefest moment while filling a glass with water. ‘I’ll be gone again soon.’ And he disappeared upstairs.
My spirits slumped.
I tried to focus on my study. I was working through a classification of foot fractures and it was a bleak process. Who was Hawkins? And why did he need to come up with such a trivial classification system? The information was even harder to digest now with the presence of Abel in the house.
I heard the shower run and had to squash the urge to walk upstairs, rip my clothes off and join him. The extent of this attraction was rather tedious, I was finding, requiring constant work not to indulge in improper thoughts.
When he re-emerged ten or so minutes later, he was enveloped in a smell of hot water, fresh deodorant (Gigantic Sex Appeal was back again) and the very essence of Abel, made even headier by the steam.
The sight of him was just as intoxicating as the smell: perfectly fitted, low-slung pants and a chest-hugging T shirt that made him look like he’d walked straight out of a wilderness magazine. Caption: Heart-throb in casual clothes.
I watched him move purposefully about the living room, finding keys, wallet, et cetera.
‘Where are you going?’
‘Just catching up with a friend.’ He didn’t meet my eye, and I knew, I just knew the friend was a girl.
‘Anyone I know?’ Why was I being so annoying? Did I have no self-control?
‘I don’t think so.’ He opened the laundry door and put some food out for Kate Winslet. His giant body bent over, tending to her little feline needs, was enough to make me ache. He was so goddamn sweet and caring.
‘What’s their name?’ My brain pleaded for it to be Jake or Mike or Ben or Bob, or some other extremely manly name.
‘Uh …’
His back was turned, but I could almost see him thinking, Why the fuck is Mary being so nosy?
‘Alannah.’
The name was like a spear in my stomach. Here he was, dressed as gorgeously as I’d ever seen, smelling like a pheromone factory, exuding his Gigantic Sex Appeal, and he was meeting Alannah.
My brain created her in a millisecond. She was tall, big-breasted, dark-eyed, luscious-lipped, sexy as a leopard and probably a neuroscientist. Or a surgeon. Or a robotics engineer. Something intimidating and awesome and hot and they’d have the best sex—
He was looking at me expectantly, like he’d just asked a question I’d failed to answer. Had I wailed out loud? Made an audible noise of despair?
‘Mmm-heh?’ I asked from in front of my laptop like the absolute nerd I was.
‘Do you need anything while I’m out?’
You. On the bed upstairs where I can rip all your clothes off.
‘No,’ I said darkly, childlike petulance oozing from my pores.
‘Okay.’ His eyebrows lifted momentarily and that made me scowl even more. ‘Well. Have a good night.’
‘You too,’ I said through gritted teeth. And as I watched him go, it was all I could do not to grab a cushion and throw it at his gorgeous, retreating arse.
The worst thing was, I couldn’t bring myself to go to bed.
I was like a jealous psychopath still sitting at the kitchen table with my laptop open, listening to every creak in the house for a sign of Abel’s return.
Maybe they’d both come back. He and Alannah stumbling in together, faces stuck to one another, clothes being removed as they found their way up the stairs to his bed.
All the while I’d watch from the kitchen table and they wouldn’t even notice.
At 10:15 p.m., the door squeaked open and my body clenched in anticipation.
Okay, this was crazy. What if they really did come in together while I was sitting here?
I scrambled for thoughts. Was there time to go to bed?
Turn the lights off? Disappear? But before I could actually execute any plan that prevented me from looking like a first-class loser, Abel had already walked in.
‘Mary.’ He stared at me. ‘You’re still there.’
My eyes darted behind him, but he seemed to be alone. Thank fuck for that.
‘I’m …’ I shifted my eyes back to my screen like I was engrossed. ‘On a roll.’
He stood behind me to glance over my shoulder and I got a whole lungful of him, his big delicious presence. The same combination of smells but mellowed and matured, combined with the subtle trace of the pub, and something sweet and flowery and female. Alannah. Ugh.
‘The Hawkins Classification.’ His tone was disbelieving. ‘You’re on a roll with the Hawkins Classification?’
‘It’s fascinating.’ I was doing a terrible job of keeping the sulkiness from my voice.
He pulled out a chair and plonked himself down beside me. I could see him out of the corner of my eye, legs straight and crossed at the ankles, arms over his chest.
‘How was your date?’ I was going for nonchalant, my gaze fixed on the screen so I wouldn’t give myself away by looking at him.
‘It wasn’t …’ His voice trailed, then he almost grunted. ‘It was good, thanks.’
‘How is Alannah?’ I hoped I didn’t sneer her name out loud the way I did in my brain.
‘Alannah is great.’
‘Great.’
A beat passed.
‘How’s the study?’
‘Great too.’
My control deceived me and I glanced his way to find him watching me with a teasing hint of a smile on his lips.
We just stared at one another. I was growing more inflamed by the minute.
How dare he go on a date? How dare someone else be allowed to explore this man when I couldn’t?
Which made my brain scramble – why couldn’t I?
Oh, yes. My exam. My impending return to New South Wales. My relationship abstinence. Not to mention house rules: Don’t Sleep with Housemate. I couldn’t risk all those complications and being once again without a place to sleep.
All this passed through my brain as I continued to glare at Abel. I think there might have been visible steam coming out my ears and nostrils. Lovely. Very ladylike.
‘Everything … okay?’ he asked eventually.
‘Great,’ I ground out. I was sick of the word. It was getting way too much real estate in this conversation and the truth was, it was awful.
‘Okay. Well. Don’t let me get in the way of your Hawkins Classification. Wouldn’t want to disrupt your focus.’
‘No, please don’t disrupt my focus, Abel.’
‘I wouldn’t dare to, Mary.’
And off he went.
‘Morning,’ I said when he appeared in the kitchen the following day.
‘Morning.’
The air felt stiff between us, but even so, I was glad to see him. I grunted audibly at the realisation.
‘Sleep well?’ he asked while filling the kettle.
‘Yes. You?’
‘Yes.’
It felt like we were bickering about something. How nice we’d slept? How great the morning? Maybe how annoying he found me?
As though to prove his point, I asked in a childish sort of sing-song, ‘Are you home tonight or do you have another date?’ What on earth was wrong with me? Did I have no filter?
‘I do have another … night out, since you ask.’
‘Alannah?’ It came out with a lot of ah. Like blah. Alannaaaaah.
‘Yes. Actually. Alannah.’
‘Awesome. I’m so happy for you.’
‘What about you? Are you home tonight?’
I just glared at him. ‘What do you think I’m going to be doing? Learning the cha-cha?’ I gestured to my scrubs petulantly. ‘I am on a day shift. And tonight I will be here studying.’
‘Focusing.’
‘Yes. Focusing.’
‘Glad to hear it.’
‘Yep.’
‘Well, I’m off to Vic tomorrow for two weeks so you can focus really well in my absence.’
‘Excellent.’
I banged around the kitchen for a few more minutes, making my coffee and breakfast with the noise level of an angry child.
After brushing my teeth and finalising my game face for the day I returned to the kitchen briefly. I should have been more grateful for the fact that Abel was letting me stay. I needed to drop the petulance.
I took a breath and tried to channel Mature Mary. Calm Mary. Nice Mary. ‘Well. Have a great week. Thanks for letting me stay. I hope you have a fabulous evening with Alann-ah.’
‘Thanks, Mary.’
I could see the bastard trying to hide a smile.
It was a busy shift and the distraction was a welcome relief from my personal life – right up until 1:30 p.m., when the evening doctors started.
I was seeing a lady with abdominal pain and needed the ultrasound to look at her gallbladder.
Unfortunately, just as I had grabbed the machine to wheel it towards my patient, someone else’s hands closed around its handle too.
Felix. I hadn’t seen him since the course and it felt like a kick in the guts to be in his presence again. Just the sight of him was enough to make my confidence start to crumble.
I took my hands off the machine and turned away, mumbling, ‘I’ll use it later.’
‘Wait,’ he ordered and I stopped. The last thing I needed was a scene.
‘What?’ I snapped, willing my voice to be firm and strong.
‘Did you ask for my shifts to be swapped?’
‘No.’ I didn’t mention my suspicion that Abel was involved in instrumenting the change.
He looked disbelieving. ‘It’s pretty unprofessional of you, Mary. Bringing your personal life to work. I would have thought better of you.’
I rolled my eyes. I didn’t need this right now. ‘Whatever, Felix. I didn’t do anything with your shifts. But I’ll be honest and say it’s been fantastic not seeing you. I hope we can keep it up.’
I began to walk away.
‘I hear you’re living with him now, huh?’
‘Excuse me?’ I stopped, trying to keep my voice low.
‘The helicopter dude. Must be pretty humiliating to have him seeing one of the nurses. She’s cute, though. And I guess you’re used to your men getting bored with you and exploring elsewhere.’
The fury rose in me like a torrent. If we were anywhere but work, I would have slapped him.
The fact that it was true was the ultimate humiliation.
I couldn’t even speak, the rage was that magnificent. I wished I could have come up with something, anything, to say but I just gaped at him, feeling as though I was the one who’d been slapped. Finally, I spun on my heel and walked away.