Chapter Nine #3
Yana suddenly jumps him, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. He pats her back as he hugs her in return. He’s going to miss his friend. When they pull away, Yana has tears in her eyes but wears a big smile as she says, “Alright. See you later.”
They hold onto each other’s shoulders for a moment longer before Yana’s pawing at her face and leading Asher away from Jeremy.
His hand brushes against Asher’s dark coat as she passes, saying a silent goodbye to the horse that had served him so well over the years.
People passing him at eye level make Yana and Asher seem small as they dwindle from his sight.
Turning his attention to searching the crowd, Jeremy walks around the entirety of the outskirts of the arena.
He scans all the faces, but nobody is who he’s looking for.
He searches so long that most of the crowd has dissipated, making a whole round around the entire arena and looping back to the line of trailers.
In front of the Willmaker Ranch’s Toyota that holds Jeremy’s duffel bag of meager belongings, a man in an anachronistic hoodie and sunglasses stands at the truck bed with an enormous bouquet of flowers in hand.
To any passerby, the man would look like a nobody.
But Jeremy recognizes him right away, heart pounding as he stops and watches Clark stand and wait for him.
Clark hasn’t seen Jeremy yet, brow furrowed and head turned to the side.
The striking man flexes his jutted jaw, tense and on alert.
Jeremy is reminded how high strung Clark had been even as children, and how one childish hug would relax him.
Some part of him knows that if he’d do the same now then he’d deflate his intensity just the same.
“That look,” Merle says from beside Jeremy.
Glancing over, Merle’s also in his dark hoodie and a round sunglasses, lifting the glasses off from his face now in order to look Jeremy in the eye. Cocking a brow, Jeremy asks, “What look?”
“The one you had just now when you saw him,” Merle glances over to Clark before continuing, “That’s how I want you to look at me.”
Taking a deep breath, Jeremy steadies his pounding heart as he tells the truth, “Merle, I don’t think I can ever give you that.”
Merle’s lips get tight as he nods, searching Jeremy’s face as he says, “I get that now. It’s always been him, hasn’t it?”
Taking a steadying breath, Jeremy admits, “I’d be lying to myself if I said no.”
A small smile plays on Merle’s lips as he says, “I know he has it.”
Confused, Jeremy asks, “Has what?”
“Your cure.”
Jeremy nods, knowing that Merle is right.
Taking a deep breath, Merle reaches out and touches Jeremy’s fingertips, telling him, “I’ll never forget our time on the beach.”
Lightly squeezing Merle’s hand, Jeremy nods and pulls away.
Exhaling slowly, Merle searches Jeremy’s face for a moment longer before glancing back over to Clark and saying, “I think he’s waiting for you.”
Jeremy follows his line of sight and notices Clark looking right at them. Turning once more to Merle, he’s already gone. The mysterious director disappears into the thin crowd, leaving Jeremy alone with his decision. Facing his fate, Jeremy starts walking over to Clark.
The actor looks around a moment before daring to be recognized by taking off his sunglasses and pushing back the hood from his sweater. Jeremy can’t help but smile as he approaches Clark, taking off his cowboy hat in turn and saying, “I was hoping you’d come.”
“That was some performance,” Clark smiles back, handing Jeremy the bouquet and saying, “Here. These are for you.”
A plume of floral perfume hits Jeremy’s nose as he takes the expansive arrangement in his arms. He leans into the scent, nose tickling against velvety flower petals.
The large bouquet takes up most of Jeremy’s torso, holding the heavy flowers in his arms while having his hat in hand.
He blushes at the gesture and says, “Thank you.”
Clark chews on his bottom lip, searching Jeremy’s face as he says in one gust of air, “Sheila said you quit today.”
Nodding, Jeremy looks back down at the flowers.
Clearing his throat, Clark says, “Guess you’ll be getting your prize money sent to LA then?”
Jeremy looks back to Clark and shakes his head, “No, I’m not leaving with Merle.”
Brow scrunched in a mixture of confusion and surprise, Clark asks, “Barry?”
Shaking his head again, Jeremy tells him, “No, I don’t want to be with either one of them.”
“Then what? Why quit and leave?” Clark steps forward, expression tortured.
Taking a deep breath, none of the air seems to reach Jeremy’s lungs. He figures there’s no turning back now, being completely honest as his heart pinches and he says, “I’m in love with you, Clark.”
Face relaxing, Clark visibly swallows. There’s hardly a pause before Clark is telling him, “I feel the same way.”
“Then you’ll wait for me?” Jeremy asks hopefully.
Expression contorting again, Clark doesn’t follow, “Wait for what?”
“I’m going to do the rodeo circuit and compete in the National Finals Rodeo,” Jeremy shares with him, “I want to travel and make something of myself. I’m going to be somebody for you.”
“Jeremy,” Clark takes a step forward, “You don’t have to do that. You’re enough for me just as you are.”
“No, I want to,” Jeremy tells him, “I want you to be as proud of me as I am of you.”
Nodding, Clark understands, “I can respect that.”
“It’ll take me until the end of the year,” this is what Jeremy is most nervous for. It’s a big question but he asks it again anyway, “Will you wait for me?”
Clark looks at Jeremy as a whole, eyes trailing back up his body and anchoring their gaze.
He says, “You know Laurelai was right? I moved here for you. Our marriage was failing and I was thinking about what I really wanted. My mind would always land on you. I felt so bad for how I acted in high school - if I had just been honest with myself then I would have never pushed you away, and I’d be happy with you now.
So I had to come find you, to see if how I felt was real or just something I’d built up in my mind. And I was right, I love you.
“I regret that we weren’t close in high school, that I got married so many times with all the wrong people. I regret a lot, but what I’ll regret the most is if I lose you. So I’ll do anything for you, Jeremy. I’ll wait forever if I have to. Just promise me you’ll come back to me.”
Jeremy takes a step forward, being pulled in by every word Clark declares.
Feeling an urge to share the same sentiments, Jeremy replies, “Through the years, I would watch your movies just to see your face. I’ve never stopped feeling the way I did back then.
You’re the one for me, Clark. I will always come back to you. ”
Clark doesn’t have a moment to respond as Jeremy clears the meager distance between them and kisses Clark.
It’s the first time in his life that he’s initiated a kiss, wanting to feel that firework effect in his gut at least one more time before he goes.
Their lips work together and it’s as if Clark is made of electricity, sparking something deep inside Jeremy’s chest. The flowers get smushed between their bodies, floral aroma bathing their connection.
There’s murmuring coming from around them and phone cameras snap in their peripheral. Jeremy and Clark slowly pull away but are too lost in each other’s eyes to care that Clark’s been spotted and passerby’s are taking pictures. Jeremy feels vulnerable though, asking, “Should we stop them?”
“It’s too late now,” Clark sighs, hand gliding down Jeremy’s arm, “Besides, I don’t mind the world knowing the truth.”
Chewing on his bottom lip and not wanting another inch to separate them, Jeremy asks, “Can I call you while I’m on the road?”
“Uh, you better,” Clark replies. He chews on his cheek for a moment before looking behind them at the Toyota and saying, “Take it.”
Jeremy looks back and forth between them, asking, “The ranch’s truck?”
“You’ll need it, won’t you? Can’t be having you go from rodeo to rodeo by bus.”
Smiling yet eyes watering, Jeremy chokes out, “Thank you, Clark.”
“You’ll have to bring it back to me, though,” Clark adds, “At the end of the year.”
Jeremy nods, “It’s a promise.”
They stay in each other’s glow for a few more moments, Jeremy fortifying his heart for their inevitable separation.
When they do say their goodbyes, they kiss once more.
Their hands stay together until Jeremy has to close the truck door.
He rests the flowers against his bag in the passenger’s seat.
Rolling down the window, Jeremy hangs his head out the window and gets one more kiss before he’s turning the engine over and putting the gear in drive.
Overhead lights illuminate the night ahead of Jeremy and as he passes them by, their golden light brings a twinkle to the flowers.