Chapter 15Cade
Cade
Olivia
Maybe sworn enemies should have each other’s numbers too.
I sink back into the leather of my desk chair, elbows propped on the arms as my thumbs graze my bottom lip. The last few minutes I spent examining the coffee sleeve were embarrassing, until I realized she wrote me a note on the inside. Nothing a quick snip with scissors couldn’t take care of.
She strolled through those doors like a goddamn twister, sucking me into a vortex of thoughts I can’t seem to outrun.
First, let’s address the fact that this woman sought me out, even after I was a complete dick to her. Second, let’s acknowledge the fact that she walked into my brewery looking like an absolute smoke show.
Those damn thigh-high boots were begging me to admire her, but thankfully, the new shipment of beers kept my eyes occupied enough.
There was this sneaky suspicion in the back of my mind that she was clawing for my attention.
Not that she was dressed trashy or exposed in an indecent manner, but her outfit was definitely not the typical one for a casual afternoon.
Unless she was going somewhere afterward with friends? That could be possible.
Very possible, actually.
Maybe she’s a gold digger. And now that she knows I’m a brewery owner, she’s trying to get me to put a ring on it. A little extreme, but one can never be too sure.
Either way I dice this scenario up, I’m involved with someone. My interest is just a knee-jerk reflex to the way me and Jenna are skating by these days. I’m sure if we were cruising on more stable terms, my head wouldn’t have been turned a millimeter in Olivia’s direction.
Olivia.
She keeps popping up into my life like one of those damn plastic moles in a whack-a-mole game.
My eyes have studied her phone number about fifty times now, and I’m sure if I were asked to recite it by memory, I could without a stutter.
But as much as I have the slightest intrigue to put this number to use, I won’t.
It’s unacceptable.
I sigh when I reach forward, tossing the coffee sleeve in the corner of my desk.
My palm covers the mouse to my computer, mind prepared to extinguish the latest fires that have flared up in the business lately.
Because of shipping logistics and freight, the cost of supplies has increased.
Now, I’m left to balance my books more frequently, making sure I have enough money to keep the brewery afloat.
As if all that wasn’t enough, I’ve had a couple delays in shipments, a bad batch brewed within the last week or two, and I’m just now tying up loose ends on those mishaps.
But a series of taps on my office door push my to-do list to the side.
I stand up, trekking over to the door before reaching for the knob. Jenna’s blue hues greet me on the other side of the threshold, her tight-lipped smile showcasing her routine apology. “Hey,” she says softly.
My mouth sculpts a flat smile, and I take the door with me so she can enter. “What’s up?”
Once she’s standing in the center of the office, I close the door and lift my snapback to surf a hand through my hair. “Are you busy? Can we talk?” she asks.
“I’m a little busy,” I say coolly, planting a palm on the door as I cross one foot in front of the other. “Doesn’t mean we can’t talk.”
My reassurance plucks a smirk from Jenna, but the sentiment never floods into her eyes. There’s this somber glow in them. A sadness I can’t quite place. And I can’t tell if it’s over the slow death of our relationship or her guilty conscience.
Her throat bobs, gaze targeting the wall to her left instead of me. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting lately. I have a lot going on in my head right now, and I guess I just don’t know how to handle my emotions and what I’m feeling.”
I inhale a small breath, jaw setting to maintain composure. “So, you pull away from me instead? You just assume I can’t help you through all these feelings ?”
Jenna sighs, her fingers folding a few loose strands behind her ear.
“Why can’t you just understand that I need space to sort through my emotions?
” Then her fiery glare lands on me. “I don’t have to tell you every little thing, Cade, but I’m trying to explain to you why I’ve been distant the best I can. ”
“You’re hardly explaining anything, actually,” I retort, stripping my hand off the door to stroll around her. “Seems to me you don’t need me for a lot of things.” I busy my hands over my desk, shuffling random papers in a pile while my heart caves in.
“What does that mean?”
A mocking laugh expels from my throat, but I refuse to look at her. “Exactly what I said, Jenna. You don’t exactly touch me the way you used to.”
Silence infiltrates the tight space, the tapping of her sneakers the only sound filling the small room.
Her body hovers behind me, and my hands abort their mission.
Wafts of her jasmine scent tease my nose, delicate palms grazing the planes of my back through my hoodie.
“Maybe we just need to rekindle the romance. Take time for just the two of us.”
Her hushed voice sends my eyes hooding, and I briefly embrace the tender shiver she sends through me. But as good as she feels, I’m unconvinced in the same breath.
“You said the same exact thing a month ago,” I counter, my tone steady. “What’s going to change this time?”
Her hands halt over my back, my cue to turn around and level with her incoming defenses. “You know, I came here to actually try and talk to you about this. Really talk about this.”
I catch her defeated eyes as I gently shake my head. “I don’t know, Jenna,” I confess quietly. “I really don’t know what to do anymore.”
“Well, if you’re so unhappy with me, then maybe you should just break up with me.”
Every time.
Jenna’s favorite line toward the end of “talking” things out.
Like she wants me to be the one to terminate the relationship, just so she can be relieved of whatever weight she’s carrying.
This way, she gets to clear her mind of any shame that comes along with those pounds of guilt.
It’s so predictable at this point that my stomach curdles harshly the second she utters the worn phrase.
I gesture my chin toward the door. “You wanna be set free? There’s the door. Go. No one’s stopping you.”
Jenna’s sapphire stare pinches. “I never said that. Stop putting words in my mouth.”
“You didn’t have to,” I assert, tossing an arm in the air. “It’s written all over your face and body. So, if you want to break up, then pack your stuff and leave the house. I’m not going to force you to be with me if you don’t want me. It’s the last thing I’m ever going to do.”
Her lenses glaze over, but there’s never a tear that sprouts free in these moments. “Would it really be that easy for you?”
I nod, my voice coarse when I answer her. “If I found out what I think to be true, then yes, it would be, Jenna. And I wouldn’t be asking you to pack up your own shit. I’d be throwing all of it outside on the street.”
“How gentlemanly of you,” Jenna quips, pinning me with slitted eyes.
My response is stoic. “No more courteous than you fucking somebody else.”
She scoffs, her head whipping to the side as her hand surfs through her long locks. “You’re ridiculous.”
I hold out my hand. “Then let me see your text message log and who you’ve been talking to. You think I don’t notice things, but I do.”
Jenna’s face contorts in sheer offense. “No, that’s insane. I’m entitled to my privacy.”
“I’m not asking to read the messages; I just want to see who you’ve been talking with. If it’s friends and family, and there’s nothing to hide, then show me. I’ll even let you control the scrolling.”
Her head shakes, brows crinkling simultaneously. “No, you’re being crazy.” She sighs before flailing her arms. “ This . This is the very thing that makes me not want to touch you the way I used to.”
“Keep blaming me if it makes you feel better, but don’t insult my intelligence.”
With an abrupt spin on her sneakers, she’s walking toward the office door. “This was obviously a mistake. Clearly, I can’t even talk to you about shit anymore.”
“Walk away like you always do,” I mumble.
Just as she grabs the brushed knob, her body whirls around. “What was that?”
“Go,” I demand, popping my chin in the direction of the exit. “It’s what you’re good at.”
Jenna throws her hands up, only for them to slap against the denim around her legs. Then she wanders to the center of the office again. “I give up, Cade. You’re hot. You’re cold. You’re hot again.”
“I could say the same about you.”
She grunts lowly, two hands swimming through her hair. “Do you want to work on things or not?”
The inevitable and predictable question.
We’ve been here before, and somehow, neither of us ever learn our lesson.
The toxicity of our relationship is crippling, deeply poisoning us from the inside out.
It’s like a pendulum that swings back and forth between stable and unstable.
We continue to push the weight between us instead of devising a mutual effort to calm the motion.
But the truth is, I love this girl with my whole heart.
We’ve created a life together for the past three years that I just can’t let go of.
Not yet.
Not until there’s a better reason.
“Only if this is the last time we do this,” I finally answer.
“Agreed.”
I snuggle my arms around her, my lips lingering in the hair on top of her head as she snakes her arms up my back.
For now, the pendulum is centered.