Chapter 33Olivia
Olivia
My sneaker completely descends on the brake, and I park before turning the car off. I brush my fingers through my long, soft waves, sinking into the leather seat as my eyes catch the navy farmhouse-style door.
This is so him.
Nothing over the top in appearance, but the craftsman detail on the roof and porch columns hint at an intricacy.
I pull my visor down, ensuring my mascara hasn’t smeared, only to dip my chin toward my ribbed long-sleeve. My fingers trail the buttons from the neckline to the hem, checking that all are fastened before he has to point it out to me.
When I flip the shade up, my palms grip the steering wheel as my throat tenses. My gaze locks on the front door again, and as thrilled as I am that Cade will be greeting me on the other side of it, I feel stripped naked.
Bare of my confidence.
Normally, my calculated moves have provided me an upper hand, so to speak. Knowing exactly what I wanted to do and how I was going to execute my initiatives. But as my eyes hang onto the sidelights of the door frame, I realize I’m in his domain now.
Am I still calling the shots?
I’m not so sure.
In the next breath, the navy door swings open before Cade’s strolling onto the elevated porch. His perfect smile beams from his rugged jaw, his dark hair peeking from his backward snapback as he walks down the stone steps.
I smile at him through the glass, turning to grab my belt bag to exit the car. As soon as my sneakers crunch the gravel, Cade’s inching closer with his hands shoved in his jeans pockets.
My palm swings the car door shut, cheeks pinching from my growing smile as I say, “Your house is beautiful.”
He idles in front of me as he coolly shrugs. “It’s not for everyone, but I like it.”
I pivot my attention to the cottage, gesturing my hand over the view. “What’s not to like?”
My heart leaps when he cradles my cheek in his palm, and he steals a gentle kiss.
His shabby skin grates me, the contact blooming warmth inside me, and my throat finally loosens.
“I don’t know,” he murmurs as he straightens up.
“Two bedrooms. A bathroom and a half.” Then he takes my hand to walk us to the house.
“A wood burning stove for heat. Not a ton of square footage.” We reach the front door, and he swivels around as he opens it.
“Some people like quantity and big, expensive houses. I’m more of a quality guy, I suppose. ”
The crook of my mouth lifts when our hands fall from each other, and I step into the foyer. “I like that you are,” I say.
The smell of mahogany and teakwood swirls around me as I step along the tile, Cade following suit. A half-closed door on my right peeks into his office, but as we pad farther into the amber-lit hallway, we reach an eat-in table at the end.
“I’ve got something for you,” he admits, circling the furniture.
I halt, eyes swerving to the rustic wood cabinets and black countertops at my right, only to redirect to Cade. He swipes something off the table—something wrapped in brown parchment paper and white ribbon.
“I can’t take credit for the wrapping.” He slides in front of me, raising the gift between us. “Just what’s inside.”
I smile, my eyes withdrawing from the white ribbon and lifting to his crystal-blue hues.
Gold flecks shine in them, reflecting off the lighting of the fixture above the eat-in.
And as I drown in his piercing stare, I almost forget a time before when he wasn’t radiating this kind of happiness.
That brooding man I met in the coffee shop is long lost.
Gone.
Replaced by a man who wants to be around me.
With me.
Just as much as I want to be with him.
My head angles down as I take the gift from him and nestle it in my hands. It’s light. Feels like a book of some sort, and the assumption curates a tender heat in my chest. “This is incredibly sweet, but you really didn’t have to get me anything.”
“I wanted to,” he says. Stepping back, he curls a palm on top of one of the chairs around the table. “That’s how gifts work.”
I flash a coy grin, noticing the way he leans casually with his free hand buried in his pocket. His delicate smile pairs with his kind eyes, a direct distinction from his broad and lean torso under his navy zip-up.
My throat bobs as I drop my attention, and I slide the ribbon off with my fingers before tearing the brown paper. Cade’s hand plucks the wrapping from my fist before a book is revealed—a “How To” guide on successfully publishing a book.
I nearly sprout wings on my damn heart, lightly gasping at his gesture before I notice the book is on top of something else.
Switching the order of the short stack, I uncover an eight-by-six spiral-bound notebook.
The hardcover is cloaked in a watercolor tree landscape, brown script lining the bottom of the cover.
Don’t let a second chance go to waste.
That’s what he said to me the first time we went to the overlook.
My eyes swell with the pressure of scrambled emotions. “Cade, this is wonderful,” I breathe, admiring both books.
His boots cross the last couple inches that separate us. “I know it’s not much, but use it to write your ideas down when a thought pops into your head. Or when you feel inspired.”
I immediately slope my chin up toward him. “It’s everything,” I whisper. “Thank you so much.”
“You’re very welcome,” he says. “I honestly couldn’t wait another minute to give you that. Like a fucking school kid giving his crush one of those Valentine’s Day cards that came in those box sets or whatever.” His eyes squint above a tilted smile. “Do you remember those?”
I grin through a breathy laugh. “Yeah, I do.”
He nods gently, blatantly reminiscing on the childhood nostalgia. “Yeah, my mom used to get me those things to hand out to my classmates in elementary school. I was on my own for this though.”
My chest flutters through chuckles, plucking a light snicker out of him simultaneously. But as warm as I feel, it’s not enough to slap the threatening chill away.
I peer into those blue-gray irises, and all I see is what he’s offering to me.
His heart.
This is him.
In his rawest form.
There’s nothing else to uncover about the man I’ve longed to know and understand. Everything emitting from his eyes, I’m hiding in mine. Behind a long-kept secret. One that can dismantle us just as quickly as it created us.
“It looks like it’s going to rain soon.” Cade’s tenor knocks me back to the moment, and his thumb hikes to the sliding doors behind the table.
“I just have to finish up maintenance on my bike out back, if that’s okay?
It took longer than expected before you got here.
Shouldn’t be any more than twenty minutes, I promise. ”
I blink, battling a gulp before I nod. “Y-yeah. That’s more than fine with me.”
“Alright,” he answers. When he grabs the books from me to set on the table, the loss drives my hands into the back pockets of my jeans. “If you want to hang outside with me, you’re more than welcome to. Unless you want to stay inside?”
I shake my head. “I actually need to use the bathroom quickly, then I’ll come out.”
“Oh, sure.” He straightens up, pointing behind me to the narrow hallway we just walked through. “The powder room is behind you. You can’t miss it.”
“Great,” I breathe, looking over my shoulder. “Thank you.”
“Just come through these sliding doors when you’re done.”
I hear the thud of his boots, my head spinning back to catch his smile before he disappears through the sliding door.
A cold whisper creeps up my back, an eerie silence pouring into the room like the rapid current of a stream. The kind you can fight against at first, but then you realize just how strong it is the longer you’re in it.
I stand tentatively at the table, laying my palms over the books Cade just gifted me. My fingernails lightly graze the writing on the hardcover of the journal, and pounds of guilt suddenly stack on my soul.
I can’t waste this second chance.
Not just for my life after my attack, but the life I want with Cade.
Shame and anger choke me. Shame that I’ve captured Cade’s heart so selfishly, and anger because the damage I’ve inflicted was delivered by my own two hands.
I begin to think that maybe, after all I’ve said and done to win the prize, I was just wasting every opportunity away.
Every window that opened for me to tell the truth, I shut without reserve.
I was waiting for this ambiguous, golden moment to appear, and now that it has, there’re no rays of light.
Just the gray clouds that promise rain.
I inhale, running a hand through my hair as my pulse staggers. Bending down, my fingers lift the hem of my baggy jeans to unlatch the silver chain. The chill from earlier deepens when I unveil my ankle, fear washing over me like a tidal wave as I pocket the jewelry.
Shedding the anklet feels like I’m stripping Cade from my life. I pray with every divot of my soul that his feelings for me are strong enough to challenge the truth he’s about to face.
I swallow thickly before rounding the table, treading over to the sliding doors.
My palm curls around the handle, eyes steering left to Cade crouched beside his motorcycle.
His hand fiddles with the wrench against his bike in front of the white shed, the tranquil scene of the lake beyond the grass mocking me to my core.
My eyes seal shut as I ingest a breath, my grip on the handle fastening as I dig up any scrap of bravery left inside of me.
And when I open my eyes, my hand tugs the glass door open.