Chapter 20 Aubrey #3
I licked my lips, and Maxx’s eyes dropped to my mouth. I remembered this feeling. This wanting and waiting that had always consumed me.
“Here you go,” I said, breaking the moment by handing him a pile of clothing Mr. Wyatt had left for him.
“Thanks,” Maxx said, taking the shirt and jeans from my hands, his fingers brushing against mine.
I pulled my hand back and shoved it into the pocket of my oversized pants, trying to ignore the tingles in my fingertips.
Our horse-riding adventure pretty much ended after that. As soon as we were finished getting dressed and awkwardly avoiding each other’s eyes, Mr. Wyatt called Maxx over.
“Just give me a minute. Let me see what he wants and then we can get out of here,” Maxx said. I nodded and watched him go over to his boss, who had lowered his head and spoke to Maxx with an apologetic look on his face.
Maxx’s face shadowed and his mouth turned down. Whatever Mr. Wyatt was saying, it didn’t make him very happy.
What was going on?
After a few more minutes, Maxx came back, not even trying to hide the look of frustration on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, after thanking Mr. Wyatt for letting us use the facilities.
Maxx didn’t answer until we were in his car and driving down the long driveway away from the stable.
“It seems that he doesn’t need me at the stable as much as he thought.
He’s cut my hours. Which means I either need to find another place of employment or take on a third job if I want to keep my electricity on,” he said resentfully, jerking the steering wheel as he drove through the streets back toward town.
“Maybe the coffee shop could give you more hours,” I suggested. He looked deflated, and I knew this had to be a major blow for him. I could see how hard he was trying.
“I doubt it. They’re scraping together hours to give me as it is.” He gave me a pained smile. “I’ll figure something out. I always do,” he said.
We didn’t say anything else to each other. The surprisingly enjoyable day appeared to sort of fizzle out, as neither of us seemed in the mood to try to continue making useless conversation.
“Do you want to come over for a while?” he asked, and I found that the suggestion didn’t irritate me in the slightest. It was actually almost appealing. But I knew that I couldn’t. No matter how much fun I had with him today. I shook my head.
“I should get back. I have homework I have to get done for tomorrow’s class,” I said as an excuse. Maxx’s face darkened briefly before smoothing out. He gave me a short nod and didn’t say anything else.
A tension radiated from him that made me nervous. I opened my mouth several times to say something to dispel the uneasy energy, but could never think of anything to say.
I was relieved when he pulled up in front of my apartment building. Maxx’s change in mood reminded me so much of the man that I remembered.
I turned to say thank you for our day, when he reached across the seat and cupped his hand around the back of my head.
I pulled back from his grip, ready to push him away. My heart slammed in my chest, and my breath came out in short, erratic puffs.
“What are you doing?” I demanded. Why was he ruining our perfectly good day?
Maxx’s hand curled around the back of my neck, his fingers threading into the hair at the base of my skull, the slight pressure causing my pulse to race.
“Don’t tell me to stop. I just want to remember what it feels like to get lost in you, back when it all made a crazy sort of sense,” he begged, pulling me toward him, capturing my lips before I could object.
I startled in response, tensing, ready to pull away again.
“Please, Aubrey. You can deny what’s between us later. You can tell yourself that you’ve moved on. That you want nothing to do with me. But you and I both know that’s not the truth. And I had hoped we had finally stopped lying to each other,” Maxx murmured against my mouth.
Then he was kissing me again, and I didn’t stop him.
The fight left me. The anger, the bitterness, the purposeful isolation disintegrated instantly.
Kissing Maxx was like waking up. Like stepping through the mist into a clearing. It was love and lust and passion. It was pain and anguish and gut-wrenching turmoil.
It was everything.
My lips parted almost involuntarily, and his tongue swept in, tangling with mine. He moaned, intense and low, and wove his fingers in my hair, burying deep. I couldn’t help my body’s response as I melted into him.
My lips had missed kissing him.
My fingers had missed touching him.
My heart missed beating only for him.
I gave up fighting the inevitable and wrapped my arms around him, holding him as tightly as he held me.
The feel of him in my mouth was familiar and intoxicating.
This is what oblivion tasted like.
Slowly, his lips became less frantic until he stopped kissing me altogether and he rested his forehead against mine.
“I know you’ve said you don’t want this. But I’m all in, Aubrey. I always have been.”
I closed my eyes and tried to get my breathing under control.
“I have to go,” I whispered, trying to move and failing. Finally, I was able to unwrap my arms from around Maxx and pulled myself away.
With shaking hands I opened the door of his car and got out. I walked up the steps to my apartment building, escaping to the safety of my own four walls.
Escaping the truth that reverberated through my body.
I loved Maxx.
What was I going to do with that?