Epilogue
aubrey
two years later
i felt itchy beneath the hot polyester gown. Sweat trickled down from my hairline, and I readjusted the cap that sat precariously on my head. I looked out into the crowd, searching for the people I knew would be there.
My parents waved at me enthusiastically, and I waved back.
They were staying the weekend of my graduation and were planning to take me out to dinner after the ceremony to celebrate.
It was hard to believe that there was a time when I had resented them so much that I couldn’t bring myself to see or talk to them.
Sure, things weren’t perfect, but I was just happy to have them back in my life.
I tilted my head back and looked up at the sky. I love you, sis, I said silently to the girl who wasn’t in the audience.
The wind picked up and whipped around me, giving me a brief respite from the overbearing heat, and I could imagine for a moment that it was a gift from Jayme.
A message letting me know that she still loved me, too.
It didn’t hurt as much to think of Jayme anymore.
The dull ache in my heart would never really go away, but every day I was healing.
I was feeling antsy and more than ready for the ceremony to get started. It felt like a long time coming, but I was finally here, graduating with a bachelor’s in education. It had only taken me an extra two years to get there.
Two weeks ago I had accepted a position at the elementary school the next town over. I’d be starting in the fall with a group of twenty-two first graders. I was sort of terrified. But it was a good sort of terrified.
“Hey, Aubrey!” a familiar voice called out from the front of the crowd.
I looked up to see Brooks, who stood with Renee, waving at me.
I waved back, glad they were both there.
I hadn’t seen either of them in months. Renee had graduated on time two years ago.
She had moved back home with her parents for a while until she had found a job.
She eventually accepted a position as a paralegal for a big law firm.
She had moved into her own place and claimed she was happy.
But sometimes I wondered.
Things with Iain had never really worked out, and she hadn’t dated anyone seriously since then. I worried about my friend, but knew better than anyone that she had to go her own way and heal in her own time.
Brooks had gone on to graduate school in Maryland.
I had honestly thought that once he had moved away, we would lose touch.
Even though I had meant it when I had told him our friendship was the kind that would last a lifetime, I had doubts that he’d ever truly forgive me for going back to Maxx.
I was delighted when only a few weeks after he had left he had called me, telling me to turn to channel ten.
I did as I was instructed and discovered Deuce Bigalow playing.
We watched it together, quoting the lines and laughing the whole time.
It was almost as good as having him there beside me.
And even though we didn’t talk as much as we used to, I knew that he’d always be in my life. I really was a lucky girl.
I lifted my hair off the back of my neck, fanning myself. I was sweltering under my cap and gown. The dress I was wearing underneath was soaked in sweat. I hoped Mom and Dad wouldn’t mind coming back to the apartment with me so I could change.
There was a slight disturbance from behind me, then I felt cool fingers on the back of my neck.
“Hey,” a voice breathed in my ear, and I shuddered, still as affected by him as I had ever been. I turned around to find Maxx. He had pushed two graduates aside and made room for himself on a chair just behind me. His blue eyes were sparkling as he looked at me.
“What are you doing? You can’t be over here,” I chastised, grinning back at him.
“It’s only for a minute,” Maxx said, not bothered that he was causing a bit of a scene.
He leaned over and took hold of my arm, then slipped something onto my wrist. I looked down to see the silver cuff bracelet Jayme had given me.
I gave him a questioning smile. “I thought Jayme should be represented on such an important day,” he said, answering my silent question.
Shit. I was going to cry. And smear my makeup even worse than it already was.
“Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss me.
“Stop quoting Browning and go find my parents,” I told him, though I was grinning broadly.
“I’ll see you after,” Maxx said, kissing me one more time.
I watched him slip through the crowd and make his way to the seat that Renee had saved for him.
I remembered walking out of his apartment two years ago.
I hadn’t been sure I could move forward with Maxx, given his betrayal.
I was unable to forgive him right away. My heart had been wounded all over again.
In the end, though, I had held true to my promise and hadn’t walked away.
Because he deserved better than that. We both did.
We had fought too hard to not give it everything we had.
And that included allowing myself to trust in the man who had already hurt me so much.
The man who was trying to slay his demons for me. One vicious battle at a time.
But it hadn’t been easy. Learning to trust Maxx didn’t happen overnight. And there were days when I was still plagued with the doubts that had almost destroyed us before we had a chance to begin. But I had never been particularly fond of easy.
We had experienced some dark days on this path together.
There were times he struggled with his dependence just as intensely as he had when he first stopped using.
Even though he was relentless in his outpatient treatment, I knew that it would always be there.
The addiction. It would be a part of him forever.
It wasn’t one of those things he’d ever truly heal from.
But somehow, he was making it work. We both were. Together.
And then, a month ago, Maxx had just gotten his latest commission from his art installation piece in New York City and had wanted to go out and celebrate. He had established himself as X, the mysterious street artist whose works were selling for astronomical prices.
He had taken me to the cinema in town. The Doom Generation was playing.
He had arranged everything. And in the darkened theater where we had had our first date, he had slipped a diamond ring onto my finger and asked me to be his wife.
Of course I had said yes. I had never been able to say no to Maxx.
After graduation I planned to move into his apartment in the city. And when Landon came home on holidays from his art school in Philadelphia, he would stay in the spare room. And we’d spend Christmas with my parents and have dinner parties with friends. And we’d have the life we’d always wanted.
The one Maxx dreamed of.
The dream we had both longed for.
Things weren’t all sunshine and roses, and they never would be.
We had to learn to accept the dark and ugly that would always be inside us.
And when Maxx fell, I’d be behind him holding him up.
And when I began to doubt, he’d be there reminding me of why I’d follow him anywhere.
Because after all this time, I had learned that I could trust the man that I loved.
I could trust in the love that had changed our lives.
And that was the only kind of happily ever after either of us needed.