Chapter Twelve
Harper had never taken the time to watch the sunrise. Her life had been one of work and responsibility and practicality and such frivolity as standing and watching the sun warm the sky from deep blue-gray to pink and orange and pale azure was a revelation.
Standing just outside the castle walls, she gazed above her at the wisps of clouds, their underbellies dark with more promised rain, and she inhaled. No smog, no beeping horns, no sirens cutting through the quiet. She had only been here a short time and already her priorities were softening at the edges. The frantic was replaced by a sense of peace, but also of purpose.
She did have a place here and a magnificent man she was beginning to have real feelings for. And he was obviously attracted to her. Knowing she needed to fight the impulse to control everything, she recognized she needed to apply the skills she had to help these wonderful people.
Even without any real formal training, she retained things from simply being in the hospital environment. Like CPR. Like basic hygiene.
Life here was so very different. It was definitely more simple in some ways, with daily survival a part of the everyday. Her thoughts drifted to the time she had spent with Daimh. After the attack in the woods, she had decided it might not be a bad idea to learn how to defend herself in case she was ever caught again without protection. And she knew that same warrior was the one to teach her what she needed to know.
Arms wrapped around her, and she instantly knew who warmed her back. Turning, she smiled up into Daimh’s handsome face and reveled in his touch.
“Will you teach me to defend myself?” she asked, and nearly giggled at his reaction.
“From me, lass?”
“No. Of course not. But what if I happen to be away from the castle and…”
He inhaled deeply, his nostrils flaring. “Aye. I hope I will always be there to defend ye, but ye are right. Ye should ken how to wield a blade.” It was clear the thought of her having to fight was distressing to him, but he nodded. He indicated the small eating knife at her waist. “I do nae think that would be a verra effective weapon unless your meal attacks ye,” he grinned, teasing. “So, aye, I will see to it you learn some skills. After the mid-day meal, come to the training field and I’ll show ye some ways to protect yerself.”
***
Watching her come across the field, her hips swaying and her smile just for him, made his heart soar. This was ripping him apart since he knew he could nae ever walk away from her. He needed to declare it to the world, to make her his. But what about Thomas?
He had kept the secret so long, with only the laird and the widow and her Iona being his confidantes, it was difficult to imagine sharing the secret with another. But if there was any hope of a future, he had to tell Harper the truth. And risk all. Thomas was a huge part of his life. He could never turn his back on his brother, or rather the changeling that had taken his brother’s place. He had grown to love the lad and he would never be able to walk away. What if Harper could nae accept him? He supposed he had to find out the truth if he hoped for any more with her. If Thomas was a problem for her, then it would tell him all he needed to know about the lass. But in his heart, he was certain she would love the child as much as he did.
“Are you ready to show me how to become a mighty warrior like yourself?” Harper asked, standing on her toes to kiss his cheek.
“Aye, my brave wee fighter. By the end of today ye shall be as good as I, even though it hae taken me years to learn my skills,” he said, winking at her.
Harper threw her shoulders back, her chin in the air, and stood straight. “Then I am ready.”
Daimh pulled a handsome dirk from his belt and held it out to her, hilt first. There was a lovely carving of a wolf in the wood and the blade, clearly sharp, caught the mid-day sun.
Reaching for it, Harper was surprised when he pulled it back. “Ne’er take this for granted, lass. It is not just a pretty piece of work. It can do great harm and save ye, so it is worthy of respect.”
Nodding, she sobered and again reached for the weapon, examining it carefully. Over the course of the next hours, she learned how to hold it properly, how to strike with it, how to conceal it.
He retrieved a leather belt with a sheath for the dagger from his sporran, tied it around her waist next to the girdle holding her eating knife, and slipped the blade into the casing.
He patted it and raised his gaze to her. “Do ye feel better now?”
“I do. I will never be the warrior you are, but I believe that just having this weapon and knowing how to use it makes me stronger.”
“Good. I plan that ye should never be unprotected, but it ne’er hurts to have yer own defense.”
“Will you come to my room later?” she asked.
“Aye,” he grinned. “There is something I wish to speak to ye aboot.”
Her cheery expression faded to worry. “Is there something wrong?”
“Nay. Just a matter we should talk aboot.”
“Daimh… is… is there another in your life?” Harper looked as if asking the words was uncomfortable, painful even.
“Another? Another lass ye mean?”
At her nod, he smiled as he took a step toward her. “There has never been anyone like ye and the fact that ye like me… ye do, do ye not?”
She nodded enthusiastically and the weight of doubt lifted. “Then I shall ne’er take that for granted.”
***
When Daimh had said he would never take her for granted, Harper had to wonder if this was his idea of a commitment but hesitated to press him further. But she was worried as to what was on his mind. There had always seemed to be something that held him back. Well, she would hopefully find out soon enough and his words just now were enough to satisfy her… for a while.
The tapping on her bedroom door at midnight pleased Harper more than she’d like to admit. To have her mood change so rapidly from apprehension to utter joy was disconcerting. She was quickly falling hard for her warrior—her warrior—and was convinced he felt the same. If he would only speak the words, she would certainly feel more secure. But then, he was here, now, and that spoke volumes.
He strode into the room with an expression so serious a chill ran up Harper’s spine. At the hearth, he turned, his face an unreadable mask.
“We must talk,” he said.
And Harper heard the death knell of their budding romance.
He took her hands and gently pulled her over to the chairs in front of the fire to sit facing one another. Her chest so tight she could barely breathe. Harper strengthened her resolve not to cry. But then, hadn’t this been too good to be true?
“I hae a confession,” he said quietly. “And some things I need to say.” His gaze dropped to the ground, and he inhaled, then looked up at her. “I am falling in love with ye, lass.”
Her heart soared, the words so unexpected after his previous announcement regarding a confession. Her smile lifted with her soul. She felt as if she could touch the stars. “And I feel the same, Daimh.”
Holding up his hands palms out, she waited for the other shoe to drop. “And…?” she encouraged. Or was that a “but”?
“I hae a secret that I fear will change yer mind. But I cannae go on without sharing it. And you must ne’er repeat it to anyone. Ye must promise.”
She anticipated something terrible, but she managed to nod. “I promise.”
“I hae a brother.”
It took a moment for the words to sink in. A brother? Relief poured through her like a cool breeze on a summer day. A brother? That was his big secret? How could that matter? Angling her head at him, she waited for an explanation.
“He is… he is… a changeling.”
Now Harper was completely confused. “I don’t understand.”
His expression shuttered with apparent disbelief. “Ye do nae ken about changelings?”
“No.” She reached for his hands and took them in hers. “Tell me what that means.”
He inhaled, expanding his chest, then blew out the breath. “When me brother was born, the fairies took him. In his place, they left Thomas. Me da blamed me mother and he was so ashamed and fearful that he left. Me mother tried for a while, hoping they would return her real child if she was kind to the one they left, but after Thomas was weaned, she gave up all hope and
withered away and died. And I was left to care for the lad.”
“That’s so awful. I’m sorry. It must have been very hard. How old were you when he was born?”
“Seventeen summers.”
“So, you’re saying your brother was switched when he was born for a…?”
“Changeling. Aye. That’s when the fae, the fairies, take a human child and replace it with one bewitched.”
“Why? Why would they do that?” Harper knew about the beliefs in the fairy folk, but she hadn’t thought how deeply ingrained these superstitions might be in one so strong and brave as Daimh.
“Because the fairies love to pull pranks and cause mischief for humans. It amuses them.”
“And your real brother? What happened to him?”
“I ken not. I keep hoping he will be brought back, but after so long a time, I hae given up hope. I love Thomas. I do. But the clan would ne’er accept him. And if they discovered him, they would see he—disappeared.”
“Oh my God.”
The idea of a changeling made no logical sense, but this was a time of superstition and mythical explanations for things that otherwise couldn’t be explained. Harper deduced that Thomas was not their idea of the way bairns should be and therefore had to have been switched. But the fact that Daimh had cared for the boy regardless of what the others might think expanded her heart and her love for him. Only the kindest of men would take on such a responsibility. “Where is he now?”
“The old woman, Eilidh, cares for him. I dare not let anyone else know, save Ian, since as I said, the clan would not treat him kindly.” Sadness clouded his expression. “And he is the most loving of bairns.” He ran his hand through his dark hair. “Only Ian knows. And, of course, Eilidh and her daughter Iona. So ye must tell no one. It could have dire consequences for the lad.” His subdued words were spoken like a plea.
“You have had him hidden away?”
“Aye. I visit him whenever I can, and I care for both him and the widow with food and clothes and coin.” He dropped his shoulders in a gesture of defeat. “So now ye know. I hae no hope you can ever forgive me or consider a future with me.”
Harper sprang from her chair and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him soundly on the mouth. “Daimh, oh Daimh, I love you even more now.”
He pulled back to look her in the eye, disbelief widening his eyes. “How could ye? I am cursed.”
“No. I don’t believe that for a moment. You are a wonderful man with a generous heart.” Drawing him back to her, she nestled her head against his shoulder. “Can I meet him?”
“Thomas?” Daimh sounded shocked and angry. “I do nae understand. I tell ye my family has been tainted by the fairies and ye wish to see for yerself? Like he was an amusement?” He moved her from his lap and stood to go.
She quickly needed to diffuse his rage. “No. You misunderstand.”
She returned to her chair and pressed her palms together as if in a prayer for understanding. “Please hear me out.” She pulled him back down into the other chair. With some reluctance borne of years of defensiveness, he sat back down and faced her, his expression wary.
“I love you, Daimh. You are the bravest, kindest, most wonderful man I have ever met. And if you have a brother, a part of your family, of course I would like to meet him. The more I learn about you, the more my love grows. Do you understand?”
She could tell he was internalizing her explanation, but there was still a kernel of doubt reflected in his eyes.
“He is a changeling.”
“But you clearly care for him and that is enough for me. I would like the chance to love him, too. If you meant the words spoken, that you love me, how can you deny me including those others you care for in our love?”
He gazed at her as if trying with all his might to see into her heart. “Ye mean that? It does nae offend ye? Scare ye? Disgust ye?”
A question occurred to her. “How old is your brother?”
“Ten summers.”
“He is still a boy. How could I find a boy frightening? If you love him, can’t you give me the chance to care for him, too?”
His entire body drooped with relief. “Ye mean it, do you nae? Ye really mean it?”
She slid from her chair and threw her arms around his neck again. Hugging her back with such ferocity she thought her ribs might crack, Harper was joyous.
But suddenly, he guided her back from his body. “But what if we were to wed and have bairns of our own? The fairies might still be angry.”
Harper pushed his arms aside and snuggled deeper onto his lap. “Whenever there is a child, there is always a chance that something might go wrong. But that is not a reason not to have bairns.”
Daimh gazed at her as if she was the most amazing creature he had ever beheld. He kissed her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, and her lips. The kisses were so passionate, her body caught fire. Desperate for more, she stood, and, taking his hand, led him to the bed.
***
Dawn peeked through the window and illuminated the room with pale wisps of morning. Reaching over, Harper was disappointed that Daimh was no longer in bed with her, but she was comforted that he left again to save her reputation. Sure at this point that their affair was not a secret, she still appreciated the gesture.
She left the bed to wash her face with the icy water in her room’s basin. She had changed so much over the past few weeks. Optimistic and relaxed now, she no longer woke up tense, anticipating all the things that needed her involvement. She reveled in the newfound feelings. Some of that was due to the man who made glorious love to her at night. Why, she was even beginning to believe in magic, since what else could all of this be?
Daimh had promised to take her to Eilidh’s cottage this afternoon and introduce her to Thomas, his brother and most carefully guarded secret. Did she imagine a boy dressed in all black with a wand and witch hat? Laughing at the image it conjured, Harper was convinced Thomas was born with some imperfection that these superstitious people blamed on his being a changeling. Whatever the problem was, she was determined to love the child as much as Daimh did.
Harper had never thought about having children. She certainly had no proper role models as parents and couldn’t imagine how she could possibly succeed in that role. She had heard that once a newborn was placed in its mother’s arms, love flowed like a vast river. But was that a myth? Was it possible that could actually happen to her, especially if the father was a man as wonderful and loving as Daimh?
More than anything this morning, she sought the counsel of Skye. Her best friend knew her better than anyone and was always honest.