Chapter 6 - Bridget
This clinic was not the safe place I’d thought.
How had my mother found me? That was my main concern as I left Andrew’s room.
His and his partner’s scents were still strong, like they had sunk into the fibers of my clothes and strands of my hair.
A cloud of amber and clove surrounded me, but with an undertone of cedar that made me think of sitting by a fireplace in a cabin with a mug of tea.
Something spicy and bracing against the cold.
My feet carried me back to the lab. There was no sign of my mother, no indication she’d even been there, but I kept glancing over my shoulder.
I stifled a gasp when an exam room door opened without warning next to me, and the nurse gave me a strange look as she passed.
I broke into a trot, eager not to run into anyone else.
When I beeped through the lab door, I saw Nathan and Anvi in the prep lab, both typing angrily at their laptops.
A batch of cells had developed mold, and they were trying to figure out why.
Anvi had been the last one to handle them, but I didn’t want Nathan to just blame her.
They were investigating the incubator to see if the humidity gauge was faulty.
I was suddenly grateful for the issue. It had kept Nathan from witnessing my spectacular breakdown.
My body flushed with shame again, and I fled into the office before they looked up and saw me. I wanted to go home, crawl under my covers, and watch the Kiera Knightley version of Pride and Prejudice until I fell asleep.
The last time I’d seen my mother was a year ago, on television, sitting next to Domenic as he gave an interview about the tragic passing of his packmate, and my biological father, Sebastian. As a state senator, Sebastian’s death was covered by the Fairview news.
“He was taken from us too soon,” Domenic said with his empty shark eyes. “But his loss will not just be felt in our family. The community at large has lost a champion for the rights of small business owners and employers. As a business owner myself…”
I had tuned out the rest of his rehearsed speech and focused on my mother.
The Tara Crawford on screen looked like even more of a shell than I’d remembered.
Thinner, with hollows under her cheekbones and shadows under her eyes that even immaculate makeup couldn’t hide.
The effects of grief for a man that tortured her daughter for nineteen years.
I had switched off the TV and sat in silence for a few moments. I felt… nothing. Which had to be wrong. Shouldn’t I have felt some kind of closure? Or want to throw a party since the asshole was finally dead and out of my life for good?
I had been their only child; a daily reminder of my mother’s failure as an Omega to produce the brood of children my fathers surely suspected.
I often wished for a brother or sister growing up, but as an adult I could only see it as a blessing that I’d been alone.
Although, an Alpha son would surely have been treated differently.
When I’d spoken to my therapist at the Center, Linda, about it though, she hadn’t been surprised.
“Sometimes, when an abuser dies, we don’t react the way we’d expect. Whatever feelings you’re having are valid. And they’ll probably change as you process the news,” she’d said. “I’m here whenever you want to talk about it.”
Instead of processing it further, though, I’d shoved it to the back of mind.
And I’d let my guard down. I’d thought since Sebastian was dead, I didn’t have to keep looking over my shoulder anymore.
It’s why I had even felt comfortable working in Dr. Nielsen’s lab, or taking this research job. I thought I was safe.
But seeing my mother again had stirred it all up.
If my mother knew where I was working, there was a good chance Domenic knew, too. And I certainly didn’t want a reunion with him.
I packed my bag thoughtlessly, chucking my computer in, and pulled on my coat. With any luck, I could escape without even seeing Anvi or Nathan and just call in sick.
I turned, startled, at a slight noise behind me.
It was Nathan, of course. He had barely spoken to me since our strange encounter, when I’d touched his arm and he literally left the building.
Even more shame crawled up my throat at the thought that I’d made him uncomfortable.
Not to mention my reaction to his scent, which had broken through whatever descenter he was wearing.
It was good he’d left when he did, because the heady herbaceous scent had left me nearly as breathless as Andrew’s spicy one.
Nathan’s expression was severe. “How was it?” he asked.
I almost laughed. It was great. My estranged mother showed up, I had a breakdown, and the subject and his partner had to scrape me off the floor, I wanted to say.
“It was fine,” I said instead.
Nathan’s brows lowered, considering me. I shuffled from foot to foot. I didn’t want to get any closer to him in case he smelled Andrew’s scent and came to the completely wrong conclusion.
“Where are you going?” he asked, nodding at my backpack.
“Home. I’m not… feeling well.” I tugged my coat tighter around me and tried a fake cough. It didn’t sound convincing.
“Are you alright?” Nathan asked, sounding genuinely concerned. “You seem upset. Did something happen?”
My first thought was to dismiss him, tell him everything was okay, and I’d be back in the lab tomorrow. But I was crumbling.
To my horror, my throat closed up with emotion again, and I felt tears welling in my eyes. I was definitely not alright. I was terrified, ashamed of my reaction, and very confused about the base instincts Andrew’s purr had stirred up within me.
Nathan looked just as horrified as I felt. He took a few steps closer, and I saw the moment Andrew’s scent hit him. His face turned dangerous, so angry he almost looked like a different person. A deep growl sounded in his chest.
“Did he hurt you?” He stepped closer again. “I’ll kill him.”
“No!” I shouted, my tears spilling out as panic joined the emotional fray. “No, nothing like that.”
Nathan reached for me, then stopped. He still looked murderous. I took a second to catch my breath before I hyperventilated.
“My mother showed up. I haven’t seen her for a long time. And I reacted… badly.” I paused for a moment and pulled on my best matter-of-fact voice. “I had a full-blown panic attack, actually. So I’m going to head home for the day if that’s alright.”
At that moment, seeing her and smelling her lavender scent, I had been thrown back in time to the last time she’d held me, the day she’d taken me to the hospital.
My mind had put me right back there, laying on the floor, unable to move or speak because I was so weak.
Even just thinking about it was spiking my panic again.
What if my mother knew where I lived? If she’d found where I worked, it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility.
You are an adult. They can’t hurt you anymore, I told myself.
But that wasn’t true. Domenic was dangerous. He’d shown me plenty of times over the years.
Nathan inhaled sharply. “Is there anything I can do to help? Do you… want a cup of tea?”
I laughed bitterly and swiped away my tears. “I think we’re past the cup of tea stage of the crisis. Unless you know someone who can put me into witness protection, I’ll handle it on my own.”
“Witness protection?” he repeated, looking even more concerned. Why did he care so much?
“Bad joke. I’m just… if she found me here, I’m worried she might be following me. Or, having me followed. I don’t know; this whole thing is insane.”
They couldn’t know where I lived. Even if I hadn’t been as diligent with privacy since Sebastian died, Omega Centers were the safest places on Earth. Right?
Nathan rocked on his heels and looked down thoughtfully. “If you want, I could come with you? And make sure you get home safely?”
I almost laughed again. “You don’t need to do that. I was only joking.”
He shook his head. “Even so, it would make me feel better.”
I wanted to protest again, but I stopped. I was terrified she’d be waiting for me on the street outside and I’d shut down again. Or lose my mind completely and push her into traffic. There was also the very real possibility that I’d have a flashback on the train, and that would be a disaster.
Would it really be so horrible to have some Alpha backup?
I found myself nodding in agreement. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Nathan asked. He dipped his head to meet my eyes. “You’ll let me take you home?”
I nodded tightly. “Yes. Thank you.”
“Good. Alright. Let me get my jacket.”
The weather was deceptive. It was a sunny day, but a cruel breeze blew down the corridors of the streets, trapped and funneled into huge gusts by the buildings on either side. As we stepped outside, the wind whipped at my hair and coat and blew away most of Andrew and Gabriel’s scents.
There was no one waiting on the street for me. I breathed a sigh of relief, quickly followed by a rush of embarrassment.
“This was stupid,” I shouted to Nathan over the wind. “You can go back up. I’ll be fine.”
Nathan’s face was implacable. “I would still like to come with you, if that’s alright.”
Somehow, the thought of sending him back upstairs was even more mortifying than having him stay. “Okay, sure. I mean… thank you.”
The wind fought us for two blocks until we got to the train station and escaped below ground. Since it was mid-afternoon, the station was relatively empty, with just a few other passengers at the other end of the platform, and the train drew up just as we arrived.
Once we settled into our seats, I let the silence spool out between us for a few minutes before I couldn’t take it anymore. The train jostled us, our shoulders almost touching as it hurtled down the tracks.
“I’m really sorry about all of this. I promise I won’t let my issues affect my work. Anymore than they already have, obviously.” I twisted my fingers in my lap.
Nathan didn’t respond right away. “Why do you apologize so often?”