Chapter 16 #2
When her face fell even further, I knew I was only fucking this up. Tugging her over to the bed, we sat down and I attempted to explain in a way that didn’t make me sound like an ass or make her feel like she wasn’t worthy of the damn shirt.
“In New York, I was with someone, and she used to wear my shirts. Those shirts,” I said, pointing to the dress shirt crumpled on the floor.
“And things didn’t end well between us. And when I saw you in that shirt, it was like…
like I was putting you in New York where I don’t want to be.
You can wear any other fucking shirt of mine.
Hell, you can wear my underwear, if you want… ”
She wrinkled her nose at that, but thankfully smiled.
“Just not those shirts.”
After a moment, she nodded. “Okay.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. It just took me by surprise.”
The apology may have worked, but now things were awkward, and it was all my fault. There was no getting back to where we were before I woke up and ruined everything. And I didn’t know how to make it better.
Clearly, she didn’t know how to either. “Coffee?” she asked, getting up and walking over to the dresser.
“That would be great.”
I took it from her outstretched hand, but she didn’t sit down. Hell, I didn’t even blame her. I fucking yelled at her as soon as I woke up.
“Well, I have to take a shower and start getting ready for work.” She blatantly ignored me as she gathered some things for the bathroom.
“Ellie—”
“Any plans for the day?” She didn’t bother looking at me. “What are you going to do now that you’re sticking around?” She stopped and finally looked over at me, her brows furrowed. “Are you sticking around?”
“Yeah, I’m sticking around,” I smiled.
“Good. I mean, for you. Now you just have to figure out what to do in Montana. It’s completely different from New York.”
I had this bad feeling, like we were venturing into territory I wouldn’t like.
“Yeah, it is.”
“Lots of skyscrapers and tourists. God, that must be annoying. I mean, we have tourists around here, but nothing like New York.”
Fuck, we had just reached the boring phase where neither of us had anything fun to talk about. And it wasn’t her fault. It was one hundred percent on me and my big mouth.
“Ellie, can we go back to before I woke up and was a complete ass?”
She smiled over at me, but it wasn’t her smile. It was that placating one that people used when they wanted to pretend everything was fine.
“We’re good. I promise, but I really do have to get to work.”
“Right,” I sighed, knowing it was all fucked up now.
“My Jeep is still at the bar. Can you—”
“Yeah, finish getting ready and I’ll take you over there.”
“Great!” she beamed, sauntering into her bathroom.
I scrubbed a hand down my face, wondering how the hell I was going to fix this. I as good as yelled at her and told her she wasn’t worthy of that shirt. It all came out wrong, but I didn’t know how else to explain it.
That shirt represented the old me. A person who no longer existed. And the last thing I wanted to be reminded of when Ellie walked into a room was Bianca. That betrayal had cut deep, and I wasn’t sure I would ever really move past what had happened.
If I wanted things to continue with Ellie, I needed to find a way to make things right.
Just don’t overcommit to a woman when you’re not sure you can really give her all of you.
I wanted to swat the voice in my head and tell him to fuck off, but I couldn’t do that. He was right. After the shit that happened with Bianca, the last thing I wanted to do was jump into a new relationship with a woman who had clearly already been hurt.
I didn’t know the story yet, but eventually, it would all come out.
I didn’t want to be another man who hurt her, and the one way to achieve that was to offer her more than I was capable of. I’d just gotten out of a relationship—had been screwed over by the woman who was supposed to love me. I wasn’t ready to go through that again.
No, I had to be honest with Ellie and tell her I just wanted to keep things casual.
I gritted my teeth, knowing that was something I should have mentioned before I dragged her out of that bar and fucked her on her couch. And on her kitchen counter. And against the wall. In her shower. And finally, in her bed.
“Fuck, you’re an idiot,” I hissed to myself.
If I said to her now that I didn’t want a relationship, that would only make her feel used. Would she ever want to see me again? Fuck, I never should have kissed her, not without being one hundred percent honest with her.
The bathroom door opened and a cloud of steam followed the woman I had fucked every single way possible last night. She hadn’t gotten dressed. Instead, she was wrapped in a towel with her hair tied up in something on top of her head.
And all I could do was stare at those gorgeous legs.
Fuck, I was so screwed.
“You’re still in the same spot,” she smiled. “I thought for sure you’d have gotten up by now.”
“You were only in there a few minutes.”
She shot me a funny look, walking over to her dresser. “Are you kidding? I take the longest showers ever. Just to control my hair, I need at least ten minutes.”
Had she really been in there that long? I glanced over at the clock and frowned. Half an hour had passed. I was so lost in thought that I hadn’t even realized I’d just been sitting here, wallowing in my stupidity.
“If you want a shower, I’d grab it now. Not that I left you much hot water,” she teased.
“I’ll just take one at home.”
“Sure,” she nodded, dropping her towel.
I swallowed hard at her beautiful body, those firm tits, thick thighs that I could still feel wrapped around my head, and that pussy…
“I’m gonna grab some breakfast,” I said, shooting off the bed. Quickly grabbing my clothes, I didn’t even bother getting dressed before practically running down the hall.
There was no way in hell I was sleeping with her again until we had an honest talk. And since it was generally seen as tactless to mention you didn’t want a relationship after waking up in a woman’s bed, staying in that room would have been very bad.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands to myself, and then I’d only hurt her even more.
I spent the better part of an hour wandering around her house, pretending to do things as I kept my mind occupied with thoughts other than what she looked like naked. I did her dishes. I changed her laundry loads. Hell, I even dusted her blinds.
I wasn’t sure I had ever dusted blinds in my life.
But by the time I was done, she walked out, looking gorgeous as ever in a wrap dress that showcased those magnificent breasts. And those heels.
Groaning, I tossed the rag on the counter and sighed. “Ready?”
“Sorry it took me so long.”
“It’s fine,” I muttered, grabbing my keys.
Thrusting a hand on her hip, she glared at me. “Have I done something wrong?”
“What?” I snapped.
“This! This attitude you have. Is this because I took a long time in the shower?”
“Of course not!”
“Then why are you snapping at me?”
“Because all I want to do is take you in the other room and fuck you!” I shouted. “But I can’t do that!”
She flinched back in shock, not expecting me to be so upset about something so silly.
I couldn’t control the way my body was responding to her, how it craved to have her naked, to feel her skin under my fingertips and her pussy wrapped around my cock.
It was driving me insane, and the moment I thought I had it under control, she walked out in that damn dress.
Stalking over to her, I slid my hand around her waist and tugged her against my raging cock. I was barely holding onto my control, and as I thrust my cock against her, she now knew what she was up against.
“You walked out of that fucking shower and dropped your towel right the fuck in front of me. You fucking bent over and showed me your perfect ass, and it took everything in me not to bend you over the fucking bed and shove my cock inside you. And just when I got myself under control, you came out in that fucking dress.”
My hand slid down to her ass and I grabbed her hard, pulling her tighter to me. “My cock is so fucking hard right now, and I can’t do a fucking thing about it. So yes, I fucking yelled at you because I’m an ass, and all I want right now is to bury my face in your tits while I fuck that pussy.”
Bright blue eyes stared back at me, her arousal evident on every inch of her face. God, I wanted to take her right now, and yet, that little reminder bulb flashed in the back of my mind, telling me we had to discuss a few things before I fucked her again.
I slammed my lips down on hers, unable to hold back a second longer.
Just one taste.
My fingers slid down her thigh, tugging her dress up until I could feel those fucking satin panties covering what I really wanted. Tugging them aside, I slipped two fingers through the slick folds of her pussy, groaning at how fucking soaked she was for me.
My cock begged me to unleash him, to let him get just a taste of what was waiting, but that would break every vow I made to myself.
Her breathing hitched as I skimmed my knuckles over her clit, grinding them into the swollen nub. “You want my fingers, Ellie? Do you need me to fuck you?”
Hot breath fanned across my cheek as her eyes fluttered closed in response. That was a good enough answer for me. I thrust two fingers inside her, pumping them in and out, watching every hitch, every gasp as I twisted and plunged my way in her tight snatch.
“Fuck, you make me hard,” I moaned, biting her earlobe, sucking it into my mouth as I desperately held on to what remained of my sanity.
I brushed my thumb against her clit, my teeth clenching hard as she gripped my shoulders and cried out. Her pussy squeezed my fingers as she soaked my palm. And that was it. I fucking lost it, crushing my lips to hers as I fucked my fingers hard through her orgasm.
My tongue twisted with hers, desperate for every piece of her I could have. There was nothing I could do to stop the need driving through me. Only that sweet hum as she came down from her high and the contented look on her face as she blushed furiously as my fingers continued to languidly fuck her.
Ever so slowly, I slid my fingers out of her pussy, then brought them to my lips and sucked her arousal from my fingers.
Fuck, if I didn’t get her out of here now, I would lose my resolve.
“Let’s go.”
“But I—”
I slammed my lips down on hers again, then pulled back, biting her lip just to hang on a second longer. “I want you to feel me all fucking day and remember what I’ll do to you tonight.”
Yeah, I was completely fucked.