Chapter 8
Notes
Look, sometimes fanfic can also be catharsis.
Milo
I knew something was wrong with Ray the moment I opened Aunt Ethel’s door.
His eyes were red. His face was flushed. When I offered him a hug, he clung to me like he was drowning and I was one of those safety rings thrown off the side of the boat to rescue him. I hated leaving breakfast with Aunt Ethel and Rowan, but Ray needed me. I couldn’t let him down.
After I said my goodbyes, I took Ray right back to my condo.
Once inside, I settled him on the couch with one of Aunt Ethel’s afghans tucked over him and went to the kitchen to make him a hot chocolate.
Was it hot chocolate weather? No, but I knew my best friend well enough to know that hot chocolate was his comfort drink of choice. This wasn’t my first rodeo.
Once the cocoa was made, I settled onto the couch with him. I tucked my feet under his blanket and passed him his cup. “What happened?”
“Remember that guy I’ve been seeing, Luke?
” I nodded. He’d been seeing Luke for a few weeks, and he’d been happier than I’d seen him in a long time.
I thought, for once, maybe Ray had found someone good.
Luke called him when he said he would. He showed up when he was supposed to.
He wasn’t late for their dates, and he sent good morning texts.
These might all seem like the bare minimum, but Ray’s relationship history made the bare minimum seem like first class treatment. “Turns out, he wasn’t Prince Charming.”
“Believe it or not, I gathered that,” I teased, nudging him with my toes. “What happened?”
He brought his cocoa to his lips and took a small sip. “He was another Andrew.”
I winced at the name of our mutual ex-boyfriend.
It was how we’d met. I’d been dating this guy, Andrew.
I’d met him shortly after I got drafted, back before Rusty Sinclair came out and I thought I’d be facing a lifetime of career-enforced closeting.
It turned out that it worked for him, dating someone who couldn’t tell the world about the relationship.
We’d been together for almost a year when I saw him with someone at a restaurant.
It didn’t take long to figure out that he was romantically involved with the guy I’d seen him with.
It turned out to be Ray, and they’d been together for almost four years.
I reached out to him, and I told him everything.
Some guys probably would have hated me for being the person who broke the news to him.
Some guys might have blamed me for the fact that we’d been dating the same guy.
Not Ray. He listened, and we talked. We talked for hours that day, and the next day, I helped him pack all his stuff while Andrew was at his corporate law job.
We sat together and sent identically worded texts to Andrew, ending our relationships, and then got completely wasted.
Our friendship was formed that day, and I’d never had a better friend than Ray.
Unfortunately, Andrew was only the first in a long line of terrible men for both of us.
We had a type, and that type was asshole, obviously.
I’d stopped looking after a few toxic boyfriends broke my heart.
Ray hadn’t. He was a hopeless romantic, and he was certain that every new guy was going to be the one that finally swept him off his feet and loved him the way he deserved.
For a while, Aunt Ethel thought that we should give it a go. Unfortunately, neither one of us was attracted to the other. I think it was just that we were both too nice.
Knowing that Ray had fallen for another Andrew hurt my heart for him. “How bad was it?” I asked him.
“I went out for a drink after work, and I saw him making out with some guy in one of the corner booths.” He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. “I don’t know if they were together or if it was a one night thing. I didn’t really stick around to find out. I just left.”
“And you broke up with him?” I swear to all that was holy that if he hadn’t broken up with him, I was stealing his hot cocoa and not giving it back until he did.
Ray gave me the first hint of a smile I’d seen from him since he’d shown up at Aunt Ethel’s door.
“I did. And I thought that would be it, but he showed up at my door this morning. He was talking about how he’d never felt anything like this before and he just didn’t understand.
” I rolled my eyes as I tried to imagine the amateur dramatics.
“Then he said he loved me, and for a moment, I wavered. I told him to get out, and he started yelling.” His voice cracked.
I knew Ray hated when people yelled at him.
I reached out and clasped my hand around his ankle, the closest part of his body to me.
“I’d offer to beat him up, but we both know I’m not good at that.
” I played tackle football, but when it came to any other kind of physicality, I was useless.
“I could ask Rowan to beat him up. Or maybe one of the other big guys on the team. Or maybe they could just go over and look all intimidating and scare him. It might really scare him if he’s a Scorpions fan. ”
Normally, I wouldn’t condone something like that, but he’d yelled at Ray. Judging by the redness of Ray’s eyes and his splotchy cheeks, he’d made him cry. That wasn’t okay.
Ray looked like he was contemplating it for a few moments before he shook his head. “No. He’s not worth it.”
“He made you cry!”
“A lot of things make me cry, Milo,” he pointed out. It was true. I’d seen him cry over an emotional commercial. His head cocked to the side. “Wait, Rowan? Is that the guy that was at your aunt’s?”
“Yes. He’s my new teammate, and he lives here.”
“He’s cute,” Ray mused.
I ducked my head to hide the fact that my face was burning. Rowan was cute, and I still caught myself thinking about his arms around my shoulders in Portland. Which I’d told my aunt about a few days ago. And then he was at breakfast this morning.
Oh. Fuck.
And I’d left Aunt Ethel alone with Rowan. She’d told me that she wanted to meet him, get a read on him, and I hadn’t even thought about that when he showed up at her door that morning. And then I’d left her alone with him. I could only imagine what she was saying to him.
Rowan was never going to speak to me again. All the effort I’d taken into forming this tentative friendship with him, and it was all going to be lost because of my aunt. Great.
“What is going on in that head of yours?” Ray questioned as he leaned forward.
It was nice to know that my misery was a good distraction from his. At least it was useful for something. “I left him alone with Aunt Ethel.”
“And?”
Right. He didn’t have a residence in my head. He didn’t have the context of my conversation with Ethel about Rowan. He didn’t even know about the arm and the butterflies. “And I might have admitted to Aunt Ethel that I kind of got butterflies about him.”
“That explains it.”
“The freaking out?”
“The heart eyes.” Heart eyes? The question must have been written plainly across my face because he was quick to explain. “When we were saying goodbye, you kept stealing looks at him, and you had heart eyes. Full cartoon emoji eyes.”
“I did not!”
“You did. You couldn’t see yourself, but I could. You’re a smitten kitten.”
Would it be cruel to send my best friend home after he’d just had his heart broken? Clearly, he was doing better if he was able to make fun of me.
I didn’t end up kicking Ray out for teasing me.
He’d stayed for a few hours. We talked through the Luke stuff, going over every little detail in depth.
It forced him to accept the fact that Luke was only good on paper, and by the end of it, he blocked him on every account.
I was proud. He dragged details about Rowan out of me.
He kept giving me knowing looks every time I said anything about him, and he kept calling me a smitten kitten.
By the time Ray went home, I was sure he was planning my wedding to Rowan.
After he left, I decided to get a jump on my packing for Roswell.
It was either that or go over to Aunt Ethel’s and find out what they talked about after I left.
If I did that, then there would be no hiding the fact that Ray was right.
I was a smitten kitten. I had swarms of butterflies in my stomach every time I thought about Rowan.
It was official. I had a crush. It was fine.
It was just a little crush. I’d get over it. It wasn’t like this was the first crush I’d ever had in my life, and I knew that this one couldn’t work out.
Unfortunately, packing for a two day trip didn’t take a lot of effort.
Even after I double and triple checked that I had everything, I still had a lot of time to kill.
I decided to go down to the gym. Working out always helped, and it wasn’t a bad thing to get in some exercise before we faced the Marauders.
Maybe if I put in some extra time on the treadmill and with the weights, I could help the team not be completely demolished when we faced them.
I made sure I had my condo key when I left and caught the elevator down to the basement.
Once again, I saw a familiar figure on the treadmill.
When I got closer, I noticed he had earbuds in.
I’d never seen him run on the treadmill with those.
I’d also never seen that serious expression on his face when he ran.
I set the treadmill to a low speed and incline and started running. I kept stealing glances at him, studying him out of the corner of my eyes.