Chapter Nine
Timalah
I keep my shoulders back, my steps steady as I walk away from the man I love, pretending like each step isn’t somehow breaking me even further.
My chest is shattering into a million pieces, each one crying out for me to turn around and be with my matron, each one begging for Miles to put them back together.
I hold myself together until I hear him scream in frustration.
I break. The tears I were just barely holding back finally fall.
But I don’t look back, I keep marching forward.
I know my brothers can feel my pain and I don’t even try to hide it, knowing it would be too much effort to put that wall up between us.
“You’ll be okay,” Ghenie says gently, his hand on my upper arm. “I believe in this ritual. The ancestors will look upon you and see your heart, Timalah. They’re not cruel, but instead lead us on the path we are meant to be on. They’re the ones who lead us to Earth in the first place.”
I nod my head, latching onto his words, wishing I could believe them. But the only way Miles and I end up together is if he enters the maturous trial, and after I’ve only just sprung the news on him now, without any warning, I don’t think I’ll be seeing him at the town square.
My heart aches as his words play over and over inside my head. The reminder of his voice as he told me he wasn’t like me, that he’s not a Layperry, further serves at taking away any hope Ghenie is attempting to give me.
I might believe in my ancestors, but Miles certainly doesn’t, and I’m not so sure my faith is enough for the both of us.
I try to keep my head held high as we walk into the city.
The crowd is already gathering in the town square.
Dressed in my best leathers, I step up onto the raised platform alongside Ghenie.
I take a deep breath, letting the cool air soothe me, even if it’s effect is slight compared to the chaos going on inside of me. I’ll take the small reprieve.
Saphorica’s maturous trial wasn’t that long ago, and yet, the mood surrounding the town square is completely different.
Before, there were smiling faces and joyous emotions as we all celebrated two of our own coming together.
Today, there’s a tenseness. I can see three of my comrades stretching, preparing for when the time comes.
My heart aches and bile burns the back of my throat.
They’re good men. Some of the best. But they are not the one my heart longs for.
Ghenie stands beside me, looking out at our people. He’s already opened the entrance to the trial and everyone’s eyes are front and centered on us, waiting with baited breath. Ghenie’s hand touches my own and I hear his voice within my mind.
There’s one more thing I must tell you, he says carefully. When it is time for you to run, please be careful.
I’m always careful, I tell him.
You are careful for your own life. But now, you must be careful for yours and the one growing within you.
Before I can respond, Ghenie is giving me one last look before turning and greeting the crowd. My heart is racing and my hands begin to shake. It takes all of my self control not to touch my stomach right now as everyone watches. The life within me? Is he saying I’m pregnant?
My breath hitches. Somehow I just know. Miles and I have created a life, one that Ghenie has already felt because he’s our Toralleh. I’m pregnant with Miles’ child, about to experience my maturous trial.
Fuck.
I look up at the sky for only a moment, sending up a last ditch prayer to our ancestors, begging them to show a sign that this trial isn’t the right way, that Miles and I are supposed to be together, lightning coming down from the sky, anything.
“I, Tenstar, present myself for Timalah’s maturous trial,” the first person says, nodding up at me before jumping into the hole.
With every person jumping in, my heart sinks even further. Once upon a time, before meeting Miles, I would have felt proud that so many people wished to win my hand. I’m a worthy warrior, desirable among his people. But now I just miss my golden mate.
Ghenie gives me a sad look before stepping off of the platform and making his way to the opening.
He picks up the cover but freezes, his antennae twitching as he looks out through the crowd.
That’s when I notice the crowd parting. There are whispers and murmurs and within me, I sense a wave of awe and disbelief coming from my brothers.
There, just barely, I can make out a golden head of hair running towards the center of town. My heart jumps, skipping a beat at the sight. Miles runs full out, my blade in his hand.
“Wait!” Miles calls out when he sees Ghenie holding the covering.
Without missing a beat, Miles sprints forward.
Hope rises up within me and it takes everything inside me not to call out to him.
Miles only has eyes for the task at hand.
Without ever looking up at me, Miles finishes his run into the square, he dives down, feet first, sliding down into the hole.
The crowd is silent for a moment before letting out a cheer, a joyous noise filled with clapping and whistling and warmth.
They could all feel my bone deep relief.
Ghenie shakes his head and gives a warm chuckle as he puts the covering on the entrance.
He turns to face me, his voice raising for all to hear.
“May the ancestors bring two souls together!”
That’s my cue. I take only a moment to feel before turning away from the crowd and heading to the West, letting that feeling in my gut lead me.
I run through the length of town until the feeling beneath my feet changes from gravel to grass.
I keep running until my lungs burn and sweat drips from my brow. Until grass changes to sand.
Here. I can feel it. This is where I’m supposed to be. I step out onto the beach, letting the salty air soothe me.
“Please, Miles,” I whisper, looking out at the water and watching the waves crash. I know this area and when my mate comes out to meet me, I know exactly where we can hide away for our first official mating. But for now, all I can do is wait and hope.