Chapter Twenty-One
M y fingers were beginning to ache from the hours I spent playing with my guitar. It was still better than sitting still and letting that entire attack replay for the hundredth time in my mind. A couple days later, and it still haunted me every time I blinked. All I needed to do was keep myself distracted for a few more hours before I had to head over to the Christmas concert at the rec center.
I strummed the guitar wrong and grimaced, forcing myself to stop, letting the last familiar note dissipate in my ears. I carefully put the guitar down and peeked out through the window.
The police car was still sitting there. One of them was always sitting there since the hospital attack. Unfortunately, no more information had been found. All they knew for sure was they had to have been hired and someone related to the Ryder gang was essentially cleaning up loose ends, including that doctor. That meant they still wanted Janice.
The cops were a constant presence in our lives now, but it hadn’t helped Janice much. She was still terrified and I wasn’t sure how to help her. Janice was always glancing out the window to make sure the police were still there, and she was flinching at unexpected movements and sounds. I didn’t see her all that much either since she’d been locking herself up in her bedroom, talking to her fiancé late into the night and then crying until morning.
I wanted to be able to wipe the dark circles under her eyes away or to steady her hands every time they trembled. It hurt seeing her suffer like that, but every time I tried to do something to distract her, Janice dismissed me. If she even noticed.
Feeling heavy, I headed downstairs to the kitchen, but paused by Janice’s door. It was slightly open and I could hear her muffled voice. She was on the phone, her voice low and strained, terror seeping into her words.
I listened more carefully.
“I don’t know why I came back,” Janice said, her words thick with emotion. “Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if I just stayed away.”
She paused to listen to whatever was being said and then replied, “You don’t understand.” Her voice rose slightly. “I do want to make things right. I need to make things right, but now someone is out there who wants me dead and I’m putting everyone around me in danger because of it.”
She shook her head. “No. Of course not.”
My heart ached as I listened, peeking through the door. Janice was pacing in front of her bed now, wiping at her face as tears fell.
“Give him a big hug for me,” she finally said. “Yes. Of course. I love you too.”
Janice hung up the phone, freezing where she stood. And then she was back to wiping at her face.
“Janice,” I said, knocking softly against the door. The door creaked open further giving me a better view. Janice looked like she was going to fall completely apart. “Hey,” I said gently. “It’s okay.”
“It isn’t okay,” she snapped.
I slipped into the room and approached her slowly. “It is okay.”
“I shouldn’t have dragged you into this.” She practically threw herself on the bed.
I slowly crawled onto the bed and laid down next to her. As soon as I touched her, she rolled over and attached herself to me and cried.
“Things aren’t okay. People keep saying it, but I shouldn’t have dragged you into this. I’ve ruined everything.”
“It’s not your fault,” I murmured, trying my best to keep my voice steady even as I felt like crying myself. “None of this is your fault. Someone else made the choice to hurt you, not you, and this is all on them. Every last bit of blame goes to them.”
Janice’s sobs slowly subsided, leaving only tremors through her body.
“But what if he comes back to finish the job? And you’re there. Or your guys. Or Calvin. Or your dad. Or—” She choked on her words.
“Or the police who have been stalking you since it happened. They are well aware of the situation and Davies and Officer Brelly and all the other guys with a badge are doing everything to find that man and whoever hired him. It won’t be that easy to get to us, not again. We’re going to figure this out.” I rubbed her back. “You’re not alone in this, okay?”
Janice nodded weakly, wiping her eyes. “I’m scared to go out. I don’t think I can go.”
“Go where?”
“The concert. What if something happens?”
I pulled back and smiled at her gently. “Nothing’s going to happen. The cops will be there, and so will be a bunch of other people. You need to get out. Breathe fresh air. Let all those kids distract you. Hopefully feel normal again, even if it’s just for a little while.”
Janice took in a shuddering breath. “Fine. Stop twisting my arm. I’ll go. Only because you’re making me.”
I laughed, which got her laughing too.
“Thank you,” she said. “For always being there for me.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
For the first time in days, Janice managed a genuine smile. It wasn’t much, but considering everything that had happened, it was a good start.