Chapter 38
Aisha lay in a hammock in the garden, an arm draped over a dozing Mira.
The cub had grown considerably in the month they had been in Avanid.
Her sleek, heavy body sprawled over Aisha’s legs, a blanket of muscle and fur.
Aisha scratched behind Mira’s ear absent-mindedly, eyes half-lidded against the midday sun.
One month home with her family.
One month without word from Maryam.
One month without him.
It had taken three days to get from the border to the palace, but at least they had travelled in a wagon instead of on horseback.
She had fallen, crying, into her sisters’ arms when she’d finally made it.
Even Zara’s composure had cracked that day.
Her father had cupped her face in trembling hands, his eyes watery as he looked at her.
Omar hadn’t left her side for three days, sleeping in her bed with Mira, just like when he was little.
Despite the soft landing, the ache in her chest lingered, worsening whenever she thought of Tariq for too long. She wondered if he missed her. While she stood by her choices, she carried the weight of them everywhere.
Lilah appeared at the edge of the garden, barefoot, holding a fig in one hand and a book in the other. She used the book to shield her eyes as she approached. ‘There you are,’ she said, sitting on the edge of the hammock and swinging it gently.
‘I can’t move until Mira does.’
‘Oh, that’s the rule?’
Aisha nodded.
Lilah reached over to stroke the leopard, her expression turning serious. ‘But you’re all right?’
Aisha lowered her arm. ‘Yes.’
‘Because you’re allowed to feel bad about the empire thinking you’re a murderer. And you’re allowed to miss him.’ A sigh slipped from Lilah. ‘You’re not required to put on a brave face for our benefit.’
Aisha didn’t reply straight away due to the lump in her throat. ‘It’s not for your benefit. It’s for my sanity.’ Her arm went over her eyes again. ‘I’m out here trying not to drown.’
Lilah held the half-eaten fig out to her. Aisha took a bite from it and passed it back.
‘To be clear, we have no intention of letting you drown,’ Lilah said.
Aisha swallowed her mouthful, then held her hand out for another bite.
‘Finish it,’ Lilah said, passing it to her. ‘I’ll get another.’
‘A pity fig. Perfect,’ Aisha said as she took it.
The sound of footsteps coming at a run broke the moment. Safiya burst into view.
‘What is it?’ Lilah called to her.
‘There’s a courier here,’ she shouted. ‘He has a letter from Gruisea.’
It felt like someone had thrown a pail of water over Aisha. She climbed off the hammock, Mira grunting in protest as she tumbled off her lap. This was it. The annulment they had all been waiting for.
‘Has someone told Baba?’ Lilah asked.
Safiya was already running back in the other direction. ‘Zara’s fetching him now.’
Aisha and Lilah made their way to the front of the palace, arriving just as Safiya took the envelope from the courier. Aisha eyed the Gruisean seal as they waited for their father to arrive. Losing patience, Safiya held it up to the light, trying to see the words written inside.
‘Stop,’ Lilah said, taking it from her.
Safiya snatched it back and held it out of reach. A throat cleared. The three of them turned to see Zara and Bilal approaching.
Safiya immediately extended the envelope towards their father, who tutted as he stepped up slowly and took it. He broke the wax and pulled out the thick, folded parchment. Aisha leaned forwards slightly, but a glance from Zara had her straightening again.
Bilal’s lips moved soundlessly for a moment as his eyes scanned the page. Then, finally, he read it aloud:
‘To the esteemed house of Nazari,
Let it be known that, on the first day of the month, the Crown of Gruisea passed peacefully to its rightful heir.
Tariq, son of Hamza, has been crowned king in the Temple of the First Light in Gruisea’s capital.
In accordance with the rites of our ancestors, he was named and confirmed by the sectarian and the noble houses present.
Gruisea endures, and its future is secure.
Faithfully,
Commander Kaidon ibn Gharan, Royal Guard of the Crown
On behalf of His Majesty King Tariq of Gruisea.’
When Bilal finished reading, he slowly lowered the letter. Silence followed. Aisha stared at the page in his hands, confused that there wasn’t more. It couldn’t just be news of the coronation.
‘So…’ Safiya said, equally as confused. ‘Is the annulment on the back or…?’
Bilal turned the page, even though they all knew it was blank. ‘That is all it says,’ he confirmed.
Lilah looked at Aisha. ‘I guess you’re still the Queen of Gruisea.’
‘They’re likely working through formalities one at a time,’ Zara said. ‘I assure you the annulment is coming.’
‘If my spouse killed my father,’ Safiya said, ‘I’d hand him the annulment right before his execution—out of spite.’
The tightness in Aisha’s chest intensified.
‘It’s clear he can’t bring himself to end the marriage,’ Lilah said.
Bilal reached out and patted Aisha’s arm. ‘You do not need a piece of parchment to move forwards.’
She needed something, because she was entirely stuck.
Bilal slid the letter back into its envelope, kissed the top of Aisha’s head, and turned to go inside. Safiya and Lilah dispersed, leaving Aisha and Zara standing there.
‘Walk with me,’ Zara said.
Nodding, Aisha followed her.
They walked in silence for a few minutes, until they found themselves beneath a corridor of trees.
‘Self-pity won’t rebuild Avanid,’ Zara began. She stopped walking and turned to face Aisha. ‘You should be grateful he got you out, because any other king would have happily watched you burn under those circumstances.’
‘I know that.’
‘Do you?’ Zara gave her a doubtful look. ‘You seem to have forgotten that the entire empire thinks you’re a king killer. We’re no closer to any sort of independence. In fact, we’re further from it. We’re one future queen down.’
Aisha made a face. ‘Ouch.’
‘Who in their right mind would marry you?’
Her sister’s words stung, but they were true.
‘Unfortunately, we don’t have time for broken hearts,’ Zara said, softening her voice. ‘If we don’t act fast, there will be nothing left of Avanid to save.’
‘I know that,’ Aisha said, guilt creeping in.
‘The palace is purely symbolic at this point.’
Aisha made an exasperated noise. ‘I know. I failed. Do you think I don’t realise how dire things are after being pursued across Montia? I’ve been carrying the weight of my failure since I got here.’
‘Then carry it forwards.’ Zara took hold of Aisha’s hands. ‘Lilah must be the focus now. We need an alliance secured, and it needs to be the most spectacular alliance we can fathom.’
Carry it forwards. Move on. Forget all about him. These were all variations of the same nightmare. Aisha’s heart and mind refused to let go. It was the plan none of them wanted but had all agreed to. ‘You know I’ll help in any way I can.’
Zara squeezed her hands before letting go. ‘I appreciate that. I shall leave you to think on it.’
Aisha forced a smile, holding it until Zara left. She was underwater, drowning.
And she didn’t know how much longer she could hold her breath.